The last thing Takeshi Yamada experienced in his original life was the bitter irony of dying exactly like a side character in one of his own visual novels. The ramen had been too hot, he'd been too focused on debugging the confession scene between Princess Celestia and the Knight Commander, and then—nothing.
Or rather, everything.
He woke up in a field of flowers that looked suspiciously like the opening scene of "Enchanted Hearts Kingdom," his company's latest dating sim targeted at female players. The sky was an impossibly perfect shade of blue, the kind that only existed in carefully calibrated RGB values.
"SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE," announced a cheerful, distinctly artificial voice in his head. "WELCOME, PROTAGONIST! I AM CUPID—YOUR UNIVERSAL LOVE INTERFACE DAEMON!"
Takeshi sat up, petals falling from his hair. "What the hell?"
"LANGUAGE FILTER ACTIVATED. ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE PRESERVATION MODE: ON."
He looked down at himself. Gone were his worn hoodie and sweatpants, replaced by an ornate dress with far too many layers, a corset that was already making breathing difficult, and shoes that pinched in three different places. His hands were smaller, softer. His hair, now falling past his shoulders in chestnut waves.
"No," he said firmly. "Absolutely not. This is—"
"SCANNING PROTAGONIST PROFILE," CUPID interrupted. "ERROR. ERROR. UNEXPECTED CHROMOSOMAL CONFIGURATION DETECTED. EXPECTED: XX. DETECTED: XY. RECALIBRATING..."
A loading bar appeared in his vision, stuck at 23%.
"RECALIBRATION FAILED. DEFAULTING TO UNIVERSAL LOVE SYSTEM PROTOCOL. WARNING: THIS SYSTEM WAS IN BETA TESTING. UNEXPECTED RESULTS MAY OCCUR."
Takeshi pressed his palms against his eyes, which did nothing because the interface was directly in his brain. As a developer, he recognized the situation immediately. He'd been isekai'd into his own dating sim, a game designed for women to romance handsome men, except the system had given him the protagonist's role despite his very male consciousness being trapped in what was clearly the heroine's body.
"Status screen," he said, more from habit than hope.
Miraculously, a translucent window appeared:
NAME: Seraphina Rosewood (formerly Takeshi Yamada)
ROLE: Protagonist (GLITCH: Male consciousness detected)
ROMANCE TARGETS AVAILABLE: 7
AFFECTION LEVELS: All at 0%
SPECIAL ABILITIES: [LOCKED - Complete Tutorial]
SYSTEM STATUS: Malfunctioning (38 errors detected)
"This is my game," Takeshi muttered. "I know every route"
"TUTORIAL BEGINNING!" CUPID announced. "OBJECTIVE: MEET YOUR FIRST ROMANCE TARGET! DUKE ALARIC THORNHAVEN IS APPROACHING IN 3... 2... 1..."
The sound of hoofbeats made Takeshi turn. Cresting the hill was a figure on a white horse, silver hair gleaming in the sunlight, accompanied by the kind of sparkle effects that had taken his graphics team three weeks to perfect. Duke Alaric Thornhaven, the "Ice Prince" route, known for his cold exterior and tragic backstory.
The Duke's character model was even more impressive in person—sharp features, penetrating blue eyes, an aura of untouchable nobility. He dismounted with practiced grace and approached.
"My lady, are you lost?" His voice was smooth, concerned, exactly as Takeshi had directed the voice actor.
This was it. The first meeting. In the original game, the protagonist would be flustered, grateful, and charming. The flag that started Alaric's route required specific dialogue choices that emphasized both independence and vulnerability.
Takeshi opened his mouth. What came out was: "I know exactly what you're going to say next. 'A young lady shouldn't be alone in these fields. Allow me to escort you to safety.' Then I'm supposed to either accept graciously or decline but twist my ankle, right?"
Alaric's perfect composure cracked. "I... what?"
"WARNING: DIALOGUE DEVIATION DETECTED," CUPID chimed. "AFFECTION LEVEL CHANGE: DUKE ALARIC THORNHAVEN -5%. CURIOSITY LEVEL: +15%. NEW STATUS: INTRIGUED BUT CONFUSED."
Takeshi realized his mistake too late. He'd just meta-gamed the introduction scene of his own dating sim while trapped as the protagonist.
Duke Alaric's eyes narrowed. "How did you know what I was going to say?"
"I..." Takeshi scrambled. "Lucky guess?"
"PROBABILITY OF SUCCESSFUL DECEPTION: 2%," CUPID provided unhelpfully.
The Duke stepped closer, studying Seraphina's face with unsettling intensity. "You're not like other noble ladies, are you, Miss...?"
"Seraphina. Seraphina Rosewood." The name felt foreign on his tongue.
"CONGRATULATIONS!" CUPID announced. "FIRST MEETING COMPLETE! TUTORIAL OBJECTIVE ACHIEVED! UNLOCKING: CHARACTER STATUS SCREENS, AFFECTION METERS, AND... ERROR. GLITCH DETECTED. UNLOCKING ADDITIONAL FUNCTION: DEVELOPER MODE?"
A new window popped up with options Takeshi had never programmed:
DEVELOPER MODE (GLITCH)
View hidden character data
Access unimplemented routes
See behind-the-scenes dialogue trees
[CORRUPTED DATA]
Takeshi felt a headache forming. He was trapped in his own dating sim, in the body of the female protagonist, with a malfunctioning AI system that was apparently giving him access to developer tools that shouldn't exist in the game world itself.
"Miss Rosewood?" Alaric's voice broke through his thoughts. "Are you unwell? You've gone quite pale."
"I'm fine," Takeshi said automatically. Then, because the absurdity of the situation was overwhelming, he added: "Just having an existential crisis. Do you know if there's a way out of this game? Or world? Or whatever this is?"
"QUEST UNLOCKED: FIND A WAY HOME," CUPID announced. "ALTERNATE OBJECTIVE: ACHIEVE TRUE LOVE ENDING WITH AT LEAST ONE ROMANCE TARGET. WARNING: INCOMPLETE ROUTES MAY RESULT IN BAD ENDINGS. SOME BAD ENDINGS MAY BE PERMANENT."
Alaric was now looking at him like he'd sprouted a second head. "Game? My lady, did you hit your head?"
"You have no idea," Takeshi muttered.
This was going to be a disaster. He'd designed seven romance routes, each with multiple endings, numerous bad endings, and a secret true route he'd planned but never finished programming. He knew every trick.
He also knew that in otome games, deviation from expected behavior usually led to bad endings. And he'd just deviated spectacularly.
"NEW OBJECTIVE UNLOCKED," CUPID chimed. "SURVIVE THE NEXT 40 CHAPTERS WITHOUT TRIGGERING A DEAD END."
"There are forty more chapters of this?" Takeshi asked aloud.
"I beg your pardon?" Alaric said.
Takeshi looked at the Duke, at the perfect fantasy world around him, at the status screens only he could see. He was a male developer trapped in a female protagonist's body, in his own dating sim, with broken game mechanics and no clear way home.
"Nothing," he sighed. "Just... can you point me toward the nearest town? I think I need to lie down."
"ROMANCE FLAG MISSED," CUPID announced. "DUKE ALARIC ROUTE: NEUTRAL PATH ENGAGED. REMAINING TARGETS: 6."
As Alaric offered his hand to help Seraphina onto his horse, Takeshi made a mental note. He'd designed this world, which meant he knew its secrets. But he'd also designed it as a game, not a place where people actually lived.
The question was: could he beat his own game? Or would his insider knowledge be his downfall?
Either way, he suspected the next forty chapters were going to be very, very complicated.