◆◆
I frowned at the strong scent of medicinal herbs. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the infirmary. I was lying on a clean white bed, dressed in a fresh set of work clothes, like a patient.
What happened?
I slowly pushed myself up. A tight, lingering sensation from below made it difficult to put strength into my legs. Only then did I realize—it hadn't been a dream.
I walked out slowly. The people in the palace moved quietly as usual, their steps quick and efficient. It felt as though time had stopped only for me, while everything else continued like the ticking of a clock, each doing their own task without pause.
A familiar laugh caught my attention, and I turned my head toward the stairs.
Go Chaeha stood there, his shirt slightly open at the collar, a thin scarf loosely draped around his neck, brushing his bright golden hair back as he laughed.
Like bees gathering around a fragrant flower, three maids stood around him, their cheeks flushed as they chatted with him.
The only person who saw me when I left the palace last night was Go Chaeha. The one most likely to know Gowon's secrets. The only one who seemed to harbor ill feelings toward him.
Recalling the humiliation I had suffered at Gowon's hands the day before, I clenched my fists tightly, vowing that if he were the one behind it, I wouldn't let him get away with it.
I walked straight toward him.
"Master Chaeha, do you have a moment?"
He pointed at himself with a puzzled tilt of his head.
The women beside him shot me sharp, wary glances at my sudden approach.
"How dare you call him like that!"
"Must be because she wasn't raised properly."
"She needs to be re-educated in palace manners."
Their voices overlapped, filled with jealousy as they mocked me.
Go Chaeha stepped out from between them and walked toward me. The gazes of the women followed him, and at their ends lingered quiet resentment directed at me.
"Shall we?"
He smiled casually and extended his hand.
"I'm fine."
He shrugged, as if slightly embarrassed, and led the way to his studio.
As soon as we arrived, he picked up a flower from a vase and held it out toward me.
"Doesn't it smell nice?"
It seemed he hadn't noticed why I had come to find him. Seeing him try to charm me with something as trivial as a flower—
I pushed the flower aside and spoke.
"Did you deceive me again?"
Go Chaeha didn't look surprised at all. As if he had already known what I wanted to say from the moment I approached him with anger.
Instead, he asked me,
"It seems you've gotten yourself entangled in something again."
"What makes you say that?"
"I wasn't trying to spy, but… I saw the reporter's card that night."
"Do you know that reporter?"
"He's a royal correspondent. In other words, he's effectively on the royal family's side."
"What? That reporter was a royal correspondent?"
"It seems you didn't know. Not just anyone can come and go in this palace."
"Then why would he—"
I couldn't continue. The fact that he had suggested trading palace secrets… the fact that I had accepted a lead to my mother in exchange.
"So you're saying you have nothing to do with it. Since he belongs to the royal family."
"That reporter loves the hierarchy of the royal family so much that he even crops my photos out when publishing articles."
"Then… I'm sorry for misunderstanding."
"I don't want to hear apologies from you, Seonmi. You're the one who's having a harder time… When you say you're sorry, it makes me feel sad too."
He looked at me with gentle eyes, as if comforting me. As he slowly traced my fingers, his breathing grew shallower.
What began as a gesture of comfort gradually warmed the air between us.
The studio, filled with flowers, was heavy with their sweet fragrance. Each breath carried the scent deeper.
In that secret space where no one else was present, our small touches did not stop.
His softness was not only in his blond hair or his clean silk shirt.
After that incident, things were quiet between me and Gowon. We didn't even cross paths for a while.
According to Go Chaeha, Gowon had left the palace on a royal tour with His Majesty.
Since the head maid was also quiet, it seemed I hadn't been expelled from the palace.
I took out the crumpled business card in my pocket and threw it into the trash.
From the beginning, that reporter had no intention of helping me find my mother. Nor did he truly intend to uncover royal secrets from me.
While I was outside the palace, he simply spread the article to make me look suspicious.
But why?
Because I was a slum girl who didn't belong here?
Or to create a scandal?
Or perhaps…
At that moment, I heard soft footsteps.
Someone holding a parasol walked into the garden.
At the end of the path, the Queen appeared, and even the flowers swaying in the wind seemed to hold their breath.
"Your Majesty, turn your head slightly this way. You look beautiful right now."
The man taking her photograph—
was none other than reporter Kim Sasu.
I froze, staring at the scene.
Only now did everything make sense.
And that truth—
only made me more afraid.
"…No way."
The Queen smiled brightly.
I had no idea what she was like behind that smile.
I couldn't understand why she would involve me in something like this.
Outwardly, she had always been gentle.
"You've worked hard."
"The weather is getting warmer."
"I've heard a lot about you."
Just polite, distant words.
But then—
had she really heard a lot about me?
Or had that just been something she said to every maid?
There was no reason for someone like her to pay attention to me.
I was someone who had lived a life far below ordinary.
I had nothing in common with the royal family.
…Or perhaps there was something I didn't know.
The more I thought about it, the deeper I sank.
◆
The day Gowon returned from his tour, the atmosphere in the palace was subtly unsettled.
Still, I didn't stop walking.
My footsteps echoed steadily across the marble floor. People stepped aside and bowed as I passed.
I entered my office after a long time.
A bookshelf stood close to the wall. I straightened a tilted book, as if erasing the traces of that night.
"So you're saying… Chaeha wasn't in the palace at that time either?"
The chief aide replied briefly.
"Yes."
"…Ha. Only in times like this does he resemble my mother."
"…."
"It fits too perfectly. Everything feels like a puzzle, as if someone is deliberately creating reasons for that girl to be the culprit."
Though I wasn't addressing him directly, the chief aide remained silent.
"It's strange. Why I am paying attention to that girl. And why my mother, who normally doesn't interfere in the affairs of maids, would do something like this."
Finally, the chief aide spoke.
"The matter has already been handled. The palace will ensure stronger security so that nothing like this happens again."
"…."
He spoke unusually quickly.
"Your Highness, you have greater matters to attend to than something like this."
"…Leave the documents. I will check it myself. My schedule is too tight—I doubt even staying up all night will be enough."
I looked through the documents I had received. The chief aide bowed and left.
As the door closed, I slowly raised my head.
Suspicious.
Everyone reacted sensitively whenever that girl was mentioned.
She was just a maid.
So why?
Inside, sunlight poured through the window, yet the space between us felt strangely cold.
"Your sensitivity is now making you doubt even your own mother. Why would I do such a thing? Especially something that would expose my son's disgrace…"
I had expected this.
The expression of someone caught off guard, unable to fully conceal their discomfort.
"You often look frightened when you see me. Ever since I began collecting animal corpses as a child, perhaps."
My words struck her like a storm.
Her eyes trembled violently.
"You must have thought something was wrong with me from then on. I know you once asked Grandfather to appoint Chaeha as Crown Prince instead."
"How could you possibly—"
She froze, unable to continue.
"And revealing Go Chaeha to the world… was probably for that reason as well."
Her knees gave way, and she collapsed to the floor, tears falling silently.
"How could I, as your mother, just stand by and watch you become something abnormal? I was so happy when your grandfather favored you. But I also supported his ambition… and knowing that it led you to become this… I couldn't bear it. I thought perhaps you could live a more ordinary life instead."
I couldn't tell her there was no going back.
Would she see me as a monster?
She muttered broken words, unable to even finish her sentences.
"But now… this mother will destroy anything that stands in your way…"
Anger. Sorrow. Regret. Despair.
All of it was written on her face.
I turned away.
I couldn't look any longer.
I left the room, walking down the long corridor as if nothing had happened.
"Where are you rushing off to, Your Highness?"
It seemed I had been walking too quickly.
Go Chaeha noticed.
"I'm not someone with free time, as you can see."
"…I see."
His sharp gaze followed even the smallest of my movements.
I stopped and turned slightly toward him.
Our eyes met.
Neither of us looked away.
"You seem quite busy lately, Chaeha."
"I suppose so."
"You do look busy."
"…."
"You seem to be getting along well with Her Majesty. I never knew you two were that close."
His lips moved slightly.
"Perhaps you mean the garden? Her Majesty is far more knowledgeable than I am, so we sometimes talk."
"So that's when you made your plans?"
He smiled as if he knew nothing.
But I saw the flicker in his eyes.
He noticed that I had seen through him.
His smile faded.
"We don't particularly like each other… but if our interests align, we can cooperate. Still, I wasn't pleased that the target happened to be Crown Prince Gowon."
He knew exactly how to provoke me.
What words would make me react.
What gaze would unsettle me.
Where I was most vulnerable.
He knew.
He stood there calmly, as if nothing had happened.
But I knew—
he was looking inside me.
And that irritated me even more.
After a moment, he spoke.
"If you intend to keep that position, then do it properly. Don't let yourself be shaken by some woman. This might be my last warning."