I was still in the pool, Jericho was still looking at me, and I was so upset with myself. Then, after what felt like forever, Jericho left. I didn't know what to do now. Levi had done thorough research on allergies. He will know if what I had thrown out were things someone would actually be allergic to. This will mess up my plans to change the story myself, but I guess this is still changing the story. Regardless, this is now a part of the plot, like it or not. I got out of the water and dried off. I thought about Jericho's background in science. He might have records on how certain allergies work, so no matter what I do, I can't avoid them.
I got dressed and headed out the door. Leaving the bathing room, I head out while brushing my hair, which goes down to my waist in this life. Once I had brushed it all out, I headed to my room, got my hair ties and put away my brush. I put my hair half up in the hairpiece and get to look through my clothes to see what I have to wear. Moof stly black or dark colored clothes, fine by me, and all are just simple clothes to put together, as far as robes go.
I will have an easier time with these clothes, and I can add to them over time. Maybe even get some new accessories over time as I change the story. Heck, might even find things I can enjoy without dealing with the allergies. First things first, I have to get things done at a slow and steady pace.
I picked out a black and dark blue set of robes, and changed into them, and set aside what I was wearing in a basket: I remember the world's lore mentioned that the empire's castle had set up for higher ranks in the castle to have their laundry set in a basket for the servants to gather and tend to. I headed out once I was done and finished. Leaving my room, I headed for the dining area for breakfast. When I got there, there was just some oatmeal set out for everyone. I was surprised it wasn't the usual big meal set out, with things the villain would skip on eating. I took my seat, and I saw there was only an assortment of berries, and only that. I saw Yuzu looking my way when she and the current Emperor and empress came in to sit with her. She almost looked smug.
"Yin," The empress spoke, and looked at my small bowl. "Why do you have so little?"
"Yin has many allergies; the others and I have decided to look into them closely," Narome said before I could speak. As he passed my seat, he set a cup of water with a cut strawberry in it beside my dish. I was surprised he did this for me. I saw Yuzu's face falter; she wasn't expecting this either. The five others took their seats, more around me than Yuzu. I looked down at my bow with a spoon and realized that it wasn't silver. I was relieved to see both were wooden. Yuzu's parents let out a gasp in realization.
"Yin, why didn't you say anything?" the emperor asked, more so demanded.
"I didn't want people to go on and ask a million questions about everything, and about how many allergies," I said, "Besides, I have no patience to explain the same thing again and again."
"You should have told us at least," Tyler said, "We could have taken things on to keep things safer for you to survive."
I couldn't say anything back. Yuzu's parents both looked at me, like I was hiding something that shouldn't have been hidden.
"Yin, how many things are you unable to have?" Yuzu's mother asked carefully. With a sigh, I looked to everyone who was at the table and decided to just get it over with.
"Red meat, sesame seeds, latex, cinnamon, mint, honey, gelatin, melon of every kind, leather of all kinds, perfumes and scented products, furry animals and anything with feathers, anything with a stinger, oak, cherry blossoms smell, silver, Fish both with and without a shell, eggs, tree nuts, mollusks, and soy," I said, and everyone looked like I had just said I was dying to air.
"... that's why you avoid meals with everyone and throw out the things Yuzu gave you," Zeke said, more like a statement than a question. I sighed, propped my elbow up on the table, and rubbed the bridge of my nose. This is a problem in every life, isn't it?
"Can we move on from this now?" I wasn't even acting now, I was just done, and this life was only just starting. "I just want to have my breakfast."
I got to eating my breakfast, and did not look at anyone. I could still feel everyone looking at me, Yuzu especially, her stare was almost angry. I didn't care, I just wanted to eat, then go back to my room. Once I finished, I left and went to my room. They didn't stop me. So I left and got to my room and shut the door. I was just so done with this life already, looked at like my first life, like I'm a weakling, I thought I could be leading a different one, I am just fucking done!
I flopped on my bed, and screamed into my pillow, and didn't stop till I was out of breath. I sat up on my bed and looked down at my clenched hands. They were shaking while clenched in my lap, and I just wanted to disappear, start over again. I don't want to be looked at the same way again. I thought this life would be an escape from that life, and I can't focus on this mission to gain the main five's affection while dealing with everything that I didn't know I'd get stuck with a second life.
My eyes got blurry, my throat began to hurt, and the back of my eyes grew warm. I was angry, sad, and just frustrated with this world. I thought things would be different for me. I shut my eyes, trying to calm down. My breathing was shaky, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I managed to stay quiet, but my tears wouldn't stop falling. No matter what, I couldn't stop the anger and sadness from coming through that moment. I lay down, and said curled up, tears kept falling, and I just wanted to disappear into the bed, and never come back. I would have kept it secret about my allergies secret so I wouldn't be seen as different, and I could work around my allergies. My last life was shit as is, now it follows me to my next life.
After a while, I fell asleep, and I was left in darkness. No dreams, no memories, just me, lying in bed in a dreamless sleep. When I woke up, there was a soft onto of me. I blinked my eyes open, and this soft blanket was on me; it felt like valour or something like it. I sat up, looking at the blanket. The other side was a smooth material, not leather, thankfully. I can't tell what material it is. So, I push off the blanket and sit up on the side of my bed. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and held my face in my hands. I was just exhausted, even after getting a nap, don't know from what, and I just wish earlier was just a fever dream. I wanted to just go and walk.
I got up, looked in my dresser's mirror, and got to work fixing my hair, and used some makeup to cover my red, puffy eyes. Then I got to work on my hair to look presentable, and then headed out of my room. Opening my door, I looked around. No one was there, and I made my way through to the library upstairs on the third floor. I avoided anyone seeing me, and especially guards. Reason being I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get to the library and read alone in there. I just want to be alone today.
The halls were beautiful and well decorated with paintings, and we're cold as I walked through. I would admire it, but I just really need some space from people, maybe at night, but not right now. I'm just... I can't. Making my way upstairs and through the hall, I got to the library and avoided everyone till I found a quiet place to read, alone, in the corner. I didn't care if people came looking, I'm just gonna hide in here till later, either when it gets too cold or I feel the need to go get something to eat. Or to use the bathroom, but we'll see. I found a pleasant corner to read, a little window for light, and a novel to read. I got comfy and got to reading the book, and the silence was pleasant to my ears while I read my book.
The light lasted for hours, and when I finished my book, the moon was rising. So I put away the book and made my way out to the hall, and headed for my room for bed. I avoided everyone and the guards until I got to my room. I entered my room, and I saw a note wrapped in a scroll. Making my way to my bed, I picked up the scroll and looked it over. Just a white ribbon. I untied the ribbon, rolled out the scroll, and read it over. It was from Levi. Hewrote that my meals and materials would be better selected, as per the list of allergies I have verbally given them.