Lian lived in complete isolation inside a wooden tower overlooking a silent city. He had never seen another human being in his life, nor did he own a mirror. He spent his days observing the movement of the wind and reading ancient books that spoke of creatures and He was a man, but he found no connection to himself within them.
Lian didn't know what "man" was. To him, he was merely a consciousness floating in a body performing its mechanical functions.
One cold morning, he stood before his large window. And he began to ask the questions he had always avoided:
"Why is my form so different from the fluidity of water? And why are my limbs rigid like tree trunks while my mind never stops soaring?"
Lian began writing his questions on the walls of the tower:
1. The question of pure existence:Am I what I do, or am I what I feel? If I stop moving, do I still exist?
2. The question of lost identity: "Books talk about 'man' and 'woman', struggles, power, and love… but I don't find any of these words in my pulse.""I am merely an emptiness wearing skin." On his thirtieth day of philosophical solitude, Lian found a polished piece of metal in the tower's vault. He slowly lifted it, and for the first time in his life, he saw "the Other." He saw a face with sharp features, a light beard beginning to appear.And broad shoulders.
The image shocked him. He didn't say, "I'm a man." Instead, he whispered to himself, "So, the soul has a cage, and this cage has a specific shape."
He began to contemplate his reflection and ask the deeper question:
"Is this mold I see what defines who I am?"Do I have to be brave because my jaw is wide? Do I have to be tough because my muscles are tight? At that moment, Lian realized that his tragedy wasn't his ignorance of his gender, but that the world—if he entered it—would label him "man."He was being asked to play a role he hadn't rehearsed.
He threw the piece of metal aside, returned to his papers, and wrote his final sentence:
"It's not important that I know I'm a man; what's important is whether I'm free within this mold, or whether the body is the primary prison of consciousness?"
Lian lived the rest of his life not as a "man," but as an "idea" trying to understand the matter that inhabited him.