"My God! That person... is he even human?"
"What God? I think even God would hand him a cigarette and call him 'Bro'!"
"I hereby declare that from today on, I am the most devoted follower of the Church of Cloud! Does anyone have his photo? I want to print it out and worship it daily!"
"Reply above: I've got HD screenshots, 500 bucks each, fair price for all!"
Major religions held emergency overnight meetings, attempting to revise their doctrines to incorporate "Cloud" into their mythological systems in some reasonable way.
Governments worldwide entered the highest state of emergency.
They weren't worried about alien invasions or the apocalypse.
They were worried about... how to communicate with a "true god" who had hand-crafted a universe.
Should they send military forces to show "friendship"?—Don't be ridiculous. One look from him could turn an entire aircraft carrier battle group into scrap metal.
Should they send money and beautiful women for "diplomatic marriage"?—Don't be naive. Any random member of his "harem squad" was a hundred times more beautiful than Miss Universe.
Ultimately, this hot potato landed on one person.
Colonel Heidern.
As the only official representative who had direct contact with Cloud and established a cooperative relationship, he was urgently appointed by the Global United Government as "Special Liaison Officer for Divine Communication."
And so, on the afternoon of the third day.
A heavily guarded helicopter cautiously landed three kilometers from KOF Mansion.
Colonel Heidern, alone, wearing an immaculate military uniform and carrying no weapons, walked step by step to the mansion's front gate.
His palms were drenched in sweat.
He'd rather solo Rugal than knock on this door.
Because he didn't know what kind of future the whims of the being behind this door would bring to the world.
He took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell.
Ding-dong~
The doorbell played "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
Heidern: "..."
A few seconds later, the door slowly opened.
It wasn't Cloud who answered, but Mature and Vice wearing maid outfits. One held red wine, the other a feather duster, both smiling at him.
"Well, if it isn't Colonel Heidern? What business brings you to our master?" Vice's voice dripped with dangerous allure.
"Uh... I... I represent the Global United Government, here to pay respects to Mr. Cloud." Heidern felt his throat go dry.
"The master is quite busy right now~" Mature sipped her wine lazily. "He's playing mahjong."
Heidern: "...Mahjong?"
He'd imagined ten thousand possibilities. Cloud might be in closed-door cultivation, might be comprehending universal truths, might even be doing... unspeakable things with his harem.
But he never imagined that this "god" who had just saved the world and reshaped the universe was... playing mahjong?
Just then, a vigorous roar came from inside.
"I win! Pure flush, all triplets, win from the wall, last tile from the bottom! Pay up! Pay up!"
It sounded like Kyo Kusanagi.
Next came Iori Yagami's trademark contemptuous snort: "Hmph. Trash. Just luck."
Then came Cloud's lazy, exasperated voice: "Kyo, we agreed—no using flames to cheat at mahjong... And you too, Iori, no using your claws to peek at others' tiles..."
Colonel Heidern completely petrified at the doorway.
He felt his understanding of "gods" had been thoroughly overturned at this moment.
"Ahem." Finally, Maki Kagura emerged, still the picture of a graceful Yamato Nadeshiko. She gave Heidern a slight bow. "Colonel, please come in. Cloud is... handling some internal family disputes."
Heidern walked into this legendary "Divine Mansion" with a feeling somewhere between pilgrimage and visiting a zoo to see rare animals.
He saw at the automatic mahjong table in the living room, Kyo Kusanagi and Iori Yagami arguing red-faced over a "three-dot" tile.
He saw in the kitchen, Ryu struggling with dough, trying to incorporate the power of "Hadouken" into ramen-making.
He saw in the garden, Nakoruru and Rimururu teaching a group of small animals to do "cute dances."
The entire mansion was filled with cheerful atmosphere.
Finally, by the pool, he found his conversation target—Cloud.
Cloud was lounging in a beach chair, receiving Mai Shiranui's sunscreen "application service."
"Colonel Heidern, a rare guest." Cloud didn't even lift his head, greeting him through his sunglasses. "Come, sit. Want something to drink? I've got '82 cola here. Tastes great."
Heidern's mouth twitched.
He cleared his throat, trying to make his tone sound both respectful and not too servile.
"Cloud... sir." He chose his words carefully. "On behalf of all the people of every nation in the world, I express the deepest gratitude for your heroic act of saving the world."
"Small matter, no effort at all." Cloud waved dismissively. "Mainly just found that woman too noisy—was disturbing my sleep."
Heidern: "..."
He felt this conversation was about to derail completely.
He decided to get straight to the point.
"Mr. Cloud, your... existence is no longer a secret. The entire world feels... well, both reverence and... fear toward your power. Therefore, governments worldwide hope... hope to understand your... attitude toward this world?"
He asked carefully, terrified that one wrong word would make him vanish from Earth the next second.
Cloud finally removed his sunglasses and sat up straight.
He looked at this colonel whose nervous sweat had nearly soaked through his uniform, and suddenly smiled.
"My attitude?"
He stood up, walked to the pool's edge, and gazed at the clear water. His reflection showed eyes that seemed to contain an entire universe.
"Colonel, look at this water."
Heidern looked over, puzzled.
"Water flows. Pour it into a round bottle, it becomes round. Pour it into a square box, it becomes square. But no matter how its shape changes, it's still water."
Cloud turned around, his smile becoming warm and sincere.
"I am water."
"I won't interfere with your politics, won't change your society, and certainly won't demand you worship me as a god."
"Live as you always have. Fight wars if you must, make peace if you want, go to work, slack off—whatever."
"As for me..." He pointed at the mansion behind him, at the beautiful women currently making a ruckus.
"...I just want to live my own little life with the people I love."
"I'm just an ordinary resident of this world who happens to be... slightly stronger than average."
"My attitude is—as long as no one disturbs my retirement, this world has nothing to do with me."
...
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