Vegeta felt absurd in the excessive layers of human clothing that a wedding apparently necessitated. Piccolo stood next to him, stalwart and stony-faced, and Vegeta wondered if his best friend's heart was shattering to be party and witness to Vegeta's marriage when Seventeen wouldn't marry him. Vegeta tugged at the stupid vest. The floofy bowtie the woman insisted on felt like penance for all the wrong he'd done in his life. He murmured to Piccolo, "Why do humans choose such uncomfortable shit to celebrate in?"
"Probably because people like you look hot in formalwear, but also so Bulma can enjoy taking it off you. Just wait, I bet she's gonna look like the prettiest present you've ever opened."
"You fucking Earthlings and your weird gifting." Vegeta paused, unsure whether to go on, but he ventured, "Are you...are you alright?" Vegeta chanced a glance at his enormous best man in a tux that matched Vegeta's. Vegeta was grateful that Piccolo could just make their tuxes so neither had to endure a tailor. The woman had forced him to go to one once and Vegeta barely made it through the ordeal.
Piccolo's eyes narrowed and slid down to Vegeta. "I'm fucking fine. It's my best friend's wedding to one of my only other friends. It's a happy day. Don't try to make me unhappy."
"For fuck's sake, I'm just trying to be…sensitive," Vegeta grumbled.
A half-smile quirked the corner of Piccolo's mouth and he muttered, "Well, good try, buddy. I'm fucking fine. Don't ask me again."
"I'll take that to mean you are not fine at all but do not wish to speak of your disappointment at this moment," Vegeta whispered.
"Is now really the time to start pretending we both aren't entirely emotionally constipated, you dick? Will you fucking shut up and just get married? Where is Bulma? Can she get this fucking party staaa…oh shit. He's here. He came…" Piccolo's voice trailed off into a breath.
Vegeta followed Piccolo's eyes. Seventeen strutted across the Capsule Corp lawn to the rows and rows of white chairs draped with flowers and other frippery. His icy blue eyes lit on Piccolo's gobsmacked face and a lopsided smile curled his lips. Seventeen had his hair up in something that Trunks had informed Vegeta was called a "man-bun" and he wore a dapper, silvery suit. Vegeta understood the appeal of such clothing as Piccolo's jaw dropped open.
Vegeta's big best friend breathed, "Sweet fucking gods, what that man does to me."
"Are you actually fine now? I thought he said he wasn't coming?" Vegeta asked.
Piccolo said nothing for a long time, just watched Seventeen move into a seat next to Eighteen, his lithe form relaxed and apparently happy. Vegeta saw Piccolo's eyes blank in the way that they did when he spoke telepathically to Seventeen. Piccolo mumbled, "Yeah…He said if he attended one, he might as well have one because the level of bullshit was the same…"
Vegeta arched a brow and smirked. "Well, you're welcome. Maybe he'll see that it makes the woman extremely happy despite how little I want to do this nonsense. I would do anything to make her happy. Seventeen should think about that, the little shit."
Piccolo tore his eyes away from Seventeen and scowled. "Don't call my boyfriend a little shit!"
Dende cut in, "Please stop bickering."
"He should fucking marry you!" Vegeta muttered.
"Screw you! Don't piss me off when I'm supposed to be all supportive and shit!" Piccolo hissed.
"Well, stop undervaluing your worth as a mate or husband or whatever idiotic nomenclature this planet uses!"
"I'm inclined to agree with Vegeta, Piccolo. Seventeen should consider your needs," Dende said softly.
Piccolo's eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut. His cheeks turned purple and he said, "Bulma better hurry up or I'm going to punch you, Vegeta. Dende, stay out of this!"
"Need I remind you of my divinity, Piccolo?" Dende said, seeming to grow larger and more imposing despite his diminutive size.
Vegeta smirked, but turned to Piccolo and growled, "Bring it, behemoth. I can best you even in this fucking absurd pile of clothing."
Piccolo chuckled and said, "Oh thank gods, at last."
Vegeta once again followed Piccolo's gaze as a hush fell over the crowd and soft music filled the void. It was Vegeta's turn to have his jaw drop. The woman stood at the end of the flower-strewn aisle. To Vegeta's chagrin, Kakarot, of all fucking people, was the one standing up for the woman. The woman's sister was unable to join them due to mysterious nonsense with her profession. Kakarot trundled awkwardly down the aisle and stood in the mirrored position to Piccolo's.
"Hey, 'Geta, congrats!"
But Vegeta couldn't answer. He couldn't even berate the clown for his obnoxious truncation of Vegeta's name. All he could do was gape.
The woman wore a white dress, shimmery with rhinestones, and it hugged all her glorious curves until it flared at her knees and trailed behind her. The thin straps were strings of rhinestones that glittered in the sun. She briefly turned to fix her train and Vegeta saw that an elegant waterfall of sparkling fabric pooled above her ass, leaving her back bare except a few strands of crystals. Her father stood on one side and Trunks on her other, each of them holding her elbow, both bedecked in tuxes. In her short hair, she had a tiara—a fine filigree of silver set with more rhinestones. The sun caught all of it and she looked divine. She smiled at Vegeta, her ethereal blue eyes shining, and he knew she loved him. It filled him with joy that he brought her this happiness.
"You're a lucky motherfucker, Vegeta," Piccolo muttered.
The woman glided down the aisle and Vegeta wondered for a moment if she was actually flying. She was so graceful, so elegant. She was perfect. Vegeta was royalty, but the woman was divinity.
Her father and Trunks kissed her cheeks and went to their seats next to Panchy. She slid her hands into his and whispered, "You look so sexy, bad man."
"You're gorgeous, woman, but you're always gorgeous," Vegeta said and resisted his overwhelming urge to kiss her.
Dende spoke words and Vegeta said the things he needed to say to satisfy the requirements of humans joining their lives together. He wouldn't say that none of it mattered to him, because that wasn't exactly true. He had believed that, initially, but now, as she declared her love for him publicly, in front of all her kin and friends, he felt strangely fulfilled. Like she was unashamed of taking someone such as himself as a mate. A husband. And nothing had ever made his pride swell as much as claiming her publicly like this. She was already his mate in private, but this, showing her off, vowing to keep her safe and happy, made him feel whole.
Vegeta thought because he had been to her soirées and galas and other social nonsense, that the wedding and reception would be no different once the actual ceremony was through. He was wrong. Vegeta had a gift for the woman, but he thought maybe his real gift to her was holding his shit together as they took a million photos, as they greeted and fucking hugged nearly every damn guest. Vegeta had to hug Kakarot. He felt himself unraveling by the end of the hug line, which the woman seemed to thrive on while Vegeta died a death of a thousand hugs.
She turned to him as the guests dwindled and laughed. "Oh, gods, Vegeta, you look like you just married Goku, not me. Try to perk up. After this it's food. Then we dance. Then cake…Then honeymoon."
"Oh yes, Piccolo has told me what this honeymoon entails, woman, and I hope you're well-rested. I intend to ravish you until you pass out from pleasure," Vegeta said, a smirk besting his scowl at last.
She kissed him and breathed, "Mmm…well, we'll see who passes out first, won't we?"
"Careful, woman, you know I can't back down from a challenge like that," Vegeta murmured and plunged his tongue into her mouth. He didn't care who watched them, he wanted to taste her and press her body against his own. She was his wife, his mate, and he didn't mind if the whole world knew how that made him feel.
Vegeta admired the caterers that kept Saiyan levels of food piled artfully on the buffet. The drinks flowed. Laughter rang out across the lawn as evening fell and the twinkling lights strewn around the pavilion lit everyone up. Vegeta watched the hoards of people, mostly Bulma's friends and business associates, as they grew drunk and silly. The few he knew, the fighters, were even getting drunk. Vegeta didn't dare get drunk for fear he make a fool of himself in public by weeping with his joy.
When the woman pulled him out to dance, he obliged and was grateful she'd taught him what to do beforehand. Once the floor filled with other dancers, Vegeta took a spin with Panchy, smirking, and he said, "Well, you'll never be rid of me now."
"Oh-ho, Veggie, you know I wouldn't let you leave even if you and Bulma call it quits. Who would I talk about my books with? And who would gossip with me? Do you suppose Seventeen's come around on the marriage thing?"
"I'm not sure. It's bizarre that he won't do such a simple thing to please Piccolo. I don't like seeing the big bastard so unhappy," Vegeta grumbled, trying to swing Panchy around to see how Piccolo was faring during the reception phase of the wedding.
But Panchy resisted him. "What are you doing? The woman told me that I'm supposed to lead!"
Panchy tittered and whispered, "Veggie, I can't tear my eyes away!"
"What!? Let me see!" Vegeta hissed and yanked her around so he could look where she was looking while letting her continue to watch.
"Aren't they just darling!?" Panchy said.
Vegeta smiled and said, "I suppose if anyone his size can be 'darling,' then yes."
Towering above everyone on the dance floor, Piccolo held Seventeen, who floated off the ground so he was able to lean in and whisper to Piccolo easily. They were both grinning like idiots. Piccolo's cheeks and ears were purple he blushed so hard. Panchy was giggling nonstop and when Piccolo leaned in and gave Seventeen a little kiss, she almost squealed, "Oh, Veggie! Look at them!"
It was too loud and Piccolo's head jerked in their direction and he shot Vegeta an appalled glare. Vegeta shrugged. Panchy blew Piccolo a kiss, earning an even more indignant, gaping frown. In a fit of whimsy, Vegeta emulated her and blew his big best friend a kiss just in time for Seventeen to turn and see. Piccolo's whole body was likely turning purple, but Seventeen only laughed and tipped Piccolo's face back to his. The android kissed Piccolo deeply until Vegeta could see Piccolo forgot about his embarrassment as his ears relaxed.
The song ended and Panchy said, "See you after your honeymoon, Veggie! I hope you brought some good reading material!"
"You have a few empty spaces on your shelves," Vegeta said, chuckling, and left his mother-in-law to find his bride. He was ready to be away on their honeymoon. It surprised him that aside from the hug-torture, he had mostly enjoyed their celebration. He hoped the woman had too, that it made her happy. He snuck a last glance at his best friend, his only true friend besides the woman, and saw that he and Seventeen were still happily dancing, still kissing, an unexpected perk of Vegeta's wedding.
He spotted the woman and their eyes met. She grinned and he wended his way through the crowd to her and said, "I think it's time we head off on our honeymooon, my exquisite wife. Is that acceptable?"
"You bet your ass, my sexy husband. I can't wait to see your face when we get there."
"And I can't wait to see all of you," Vegeta said and they kissed and snuck out of their party, leaving their guests to celebrate as long as they wished.
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