Anat glanced at Nanna.
The hand that had been pressed against her nose and mouth had lowered slightly. Not all the way, just enough that she was no longer actively bracing against the air. Her eyes had stopped watering. She was breathing through her nose without thinking about it.
Anat looked away before Nanna noticed her looking.
A minute passed. She glanced again.
Nanna's hand was in her lap now, forgotten there, her posture slightly less rigid than it had been.
Anat turned to Andreas and steadied herself.
"Sir Andreas may I ask how should we treat you I..."
"Hm?"
She stopped.
The sound had been small and barely an interruption, but she had been so carefully assembled going into the question that the sudden return of his attention scattered everything she had prepared. She stood in the wreckage of her own sentence and said nothing.
"Oh sorry uh just treat me as a friend or whatever is most comfortable for you."
Anat recovered. Slowly.
"I see, then I would like if we considered each other as friends." The hesitation in her voice was real. She hadn't decided, going in, whether she meant it.
Nanna looked at her with the particular trust of someone young enough to believe that the person beside them knows what they're doing. She stayed quiet.
"Okay." Andreas said it like a man testing whether a floorboard would hold.
A small silence settled. Anat let it.
"So..." She found a smile — genuine enough. "Sir Andreas why do you want to fix the di sangro situation."
He looked at her. Then at Nanna. Then down at the blue cat, then out the window, as if consulting each in turn and finding none of them particularly instructive.
He looked back at Anat.
"To grow."
Nanna and Anat looked at him. Then at each other.
"grow?" Anat's voice came out smaller than she intended, something cracking at the edge of it.
"..."
"Uh yeah to grow. You see before last night my life was the pinnacle of boring, even with so many distractions, hobbies and work I didn't feel any reason to keep going so I had thought of why I was even born but now I've got the opportunity of a lifetime in this world and I chose the most dangerous and mystical adventure I can find so that I can find what so many people have which is to see the beauty of the world I found boring but I guess this can also be considered escapism."
Anat felt her heart climb into her throat and did her best to keep her face still.
Indifference to the world, she thought, and doing something this dangerous for a reason as simple as 'to grow.' She turned the word over. Not power. Not survival. Not obligation. Growth. Like a plant pushing toward light it wasn't sure existed.
Is he trying to identify with the universe?
Some kind of indifferent god? She thought of Buddha briefly and dismissed it. No , a Buddha's path moves away from desire entirely. This is the opposite. He's running toward something he doesn't feel yet.
That's not enlightenment. That's something else.
"Mr. Andreas," she said, "by grow do you mean in personality or strength or perhaps changing of path."
"Huh what do you mean?"
"Um sorry? For being so blunt but its just that their is a great deal of value on one's identity and many gods have gained that God title on their chosen identity and some had strength but it was their identity that made them gods so if you are naturally indifferent to an entire world then that identity means you're destined for a dangerous path right?"
Something shifted in his expression. Not alarm. Closer to attention.
"Gods?" he asked, to no one. Then asked: "What do you mean by dangerous path?"
"Your apotheosis as in the you'll end being a God but your personality and identity will be gone since your indifference naturally includes oneself."
He looked at her then. Really looked.
"Wait is this path inevitable I really didn't consider becoming a god."
"Huh?"
Anat caught herself. I assumed too much.
"Um sorry sir. I guess I was assuming that becoming a God."
"Oh."
A beat of silence. She steadied herself and continued.
"But yes to someone as powerful as you becoming a God is a matter of when also could I ask for clarity on what you meant by to grow."
Anat noted that Andreas made an expression of something more like mild irritation at being asked to explain something he had barely explained to himself or perhaps he hated the idea of becoming a god.
"To be normal I guess, love, hate and enjoy like ordinary people." A pause. Then quieter, more honest: "Right I really don't have a strong opinion on almost everything even the things I liked I never felt angry or sad when I missed out or it broke or even stolen it just felt like an inconvenience at best."
He looked down at the cat.
Anat thought for a while and weight the pros and cons of following Andreas and after deciding she said, "Andreas sir would you mind if I accompanied you an this journey, I feel inspired and also wish to grow."
"Really I inspired you?" He paused," But anyway sure if you want to i don't mind."
Anat smiled and promised to herself to gain his full trust.
Nanna hadn't moved. Anat didn't look at her.
An inconvenience, she thought. At best.
Andreas said nothing else. Just sat with his hand on the sleeping cat, like he had noticed he was talking a great deal today and had decided, quietly, to stop.
Aside the carriage sitting in front and holding a saddle in one hand the man took out a wooden dog whistle engraved with a goat inside a triangle and after contemplating on what andreas and Anat had talked about he decided to blow the whistle 3 times.
And immediately after his third blow he a bright glimmer shown in a tower infront of him.