Hiromitsu received the envelope in silence, his fingertips trembling slightly the moment they touched the paper. He unfolded the letter inside completely only after a good while, tearing along the edge of the sealing strip with gentle movements, as if treating some fragile treasure.
[Yo, seeing this is like meeting in person.]
A police officer writing a will was originally a serious routine matter, but the densely packed words skipped and leaped on the paper, the handwriting being both rounded and playful, completely unlike a last message. Hiromitsu could almost see the appearance of that person carrying his usual faint smile when writing down these few words.
[When you guys see this letter, I might have already turned into a star in the sky.
However, compared to a star that stays obediently in place, I might prefer to turn into a shooting star—the kind of guy that streaks across the night sky with a "swoosh" and then vanishes without a trace, leaving you all scrambling to make a wish.
Of course, even if it's not a shooting star, it must be the biggest and brightest one, blinding your eyes every night.
Hehe, stop joking.
Actually... the days I can continue to get along with everyone are already not many.
Call it intuition or call it fate, changing such a future is not an easy thing. So, it's better to say some words sooner. (Little Matsuda is not allowed to say I'm being sappy!)
First of all, I want to say sorry to you guys.
Not being able to accompany you on a longer road, not being able to become the best police officers together, really sorry.
Can't watch Little Hiro show off his skills in the Public Security Bureau, can't witness Rei rising step by step in the Planning Division, can't race to dismantle bombs with Little Matsuda, can't be Little Hagiwara's dating wingman anymore, and can't contest arm-wrestling with the class leader anymore... (Although the one winning in the end would definitely still be me!)
But, I don't regret meeting everyone at all.
In my life which should have been free of attachments, the people I can call friends can be counted on one's fingers, but you guys are among them. Those warmth and emotions I felt are all incomparably real, without mixing any falsehood. Because of this, not knowing since when, I have already liked everyone. Even if I am in another world, I will probably be missing the five of you over there.
Little Hiro, you are very gentle and very firm, but you always like to shoulder everything on yourself... Occasionally learning to rely on others a bit is also not a bad thing, okay?
Zero—although every time I call you Little Rei-Rei you will keep a straight face, you have been tolerating me all along. In the future, continue to be that righteous and reliable Officer Furuya.
Little Matsuda is the most duplicitous, saying dislike with his mouth, but actually values relationships specially, right? Smoke less in the future, it's bad for the body.
Little Hagiwara, your smile is the best trademark of the Onizuka class, absolutely don't let it vanish.
And Class Leader Date who always takes care of people like a guardian angel, grow old together with Miss Natalie! Oh dear, as I write, I can almost not stop... clearly intending to say goodbye simply and coolly.
Back to the main topic.
If I could choose a way to exit, compared to being quiet and soundless, a grand and dynamic style suits my wishes better. This was my original intention when entering the police academy~ Otherwise, life would be too boring, right?
An old Chinese saying goes, people have sorrows and joys, partings and reunions, and the moon has its cloudy and clear days, its fullness and wanes. So, there is no need to feel any regret or sadness for me. Even if I am not around, eat well, sleep on time, and live on happily.
Ah, that's right.
Little Hiro, Rei, Little Matsuda, Little Hagiwara, and Date-san, thank you.
All along, spent a lot of time together with everyone...
I was very happy.
—Kuno Nozomu]
At the signature of the name, there was also a face graffiti that closely resembled himself, looking very cute.
However, Hiromitsu's breathing stagnated for an instant.
Those relaxed jokes, wordy instructions, and that "I was very happy" at the end, instead made his chest feel as if pressed hard by an invisible heavy object. What made people feel even more painful was a truth revealed between the lines that he had never noticed.
[Actually... the days I can continue to get along with everyone are already not many.]
[Call it intuition or call it fate, changing such a future is not an easy thing.]
[If I could choose a way to exit, compared to being quiet and soundless, a grand and dynamic style suits my wishes better.]
"Could it be..." Hiromitsu's voice trembled, "Nozomu, could it be that he knew long ago? Knew that he might die...?"
"He didn't tell anyone about this matter, but..." The curly-haired youth said in a low voice, "Do you still remember him fainting once during class?"
"Although it was only said to be symptoms of hypoglycemia, it wasn't thoroughly checked at that time. Thinking about it now, perhaps it really was some kind of illness that even doctors couldn't find out, yet Nozomu himself already knew very well in his heart." Matsuda lowered his eyes, his expression sorrowful, "It's also possible I guessed wrong, but..."
"I think he should have expected... that we would see this will."
Morofushi Hiromitsu gripped the letter paper tightly, his gaze falling on that lively handwriting again.
If the truth was just as they thought, it also meant that even without this bombing case, Kuno Nozomu would eventually vanish from their lives after all.
"Then..."
"Exactly when did you start waiting for death?"
Since Nozomu knew his time was short, what kind of mood did he hold when writing down these words? A person whose life was about to reach the end still showed a smile to them every day.
"...Why?"
"Why endure such loneliness alone?"
"Why... even for the final goodbye, must use a tone as if nothing happened?"
An indescribable sadness flooded Hiromitsu instantly.
"He clearly... could have told us..."
Matsuda took a deep breath, his fist tightening unconsciously: "That idiot must have felt that saying it out would only make everyone worry. Just like what he chose in the end, preferring to be by himself..." Preferring to bear everything by himself, facing death lonely.
"But..." Hiromitsu murmured, "He still repeatedly said to make me learn to rely on others."
In the end, the one who least knew how to rely on others was precisely Kuno Nozomu himself. And saying something like "no need to feel any regret or sadness for me"?
"Stop joking..."
That kind of thing was simply impossible to do.
Matsuda looked at the dazed Hiromitsu and sighed softly.
"Nozomu said he didn't regret meeting us at all, that is already enough."
"But... I still have many words I want to tell him face to face... I originally planned it all, just on his birthday..." Those unspoken words choked in Hiromitsu's throat.
"Want to tell him that his birth was worth looking forward to."
"Want to tell him that although he has no relatives, he can treat me as his brother."
"Want to tell him... he is not alone, never will be."
"...In the end, there is no longer this opportunity."
Matsuda reached out his hand, pressing Hiromitsu's shoulder tightly, seeming to want to give him some strength through this way: "Don't be too sad..." His voice was a bit hoarse, yet he deliberately raised his tone, "He said it in the letter, right? Wants us to eat well, sleep on time, and live on happily—"
"Even in a world without him... it's the same."
Silently for a moment, Hiromitsu gave a soft "mm."
Matsuda let go of his hand, unconsciously wanting to feel out a crumpled cigarette box from his pocket to smoke one, but stuffed it back as if remembering something.
"Nozomu's funeral... the Metropolitan Police Department side is already arranging it, it should be determined within these few days... when the time comes, let's go over early."
"...Okay, I understand."
Before Matsuda left, his right hand paused on the doorknob for a moment: "Right, although he didn't state clearly who to give it to, but..."
"We all feel... this will should be kept by you."
He closed the door, the unfinished words scattering into the air.
Only after Morofushi Hiromitsu was left alone in the apartment did he lean his back against the cold door panel, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor. His knees were against his chest, still holding that letter tightly in his hand. After a long time, he supported his body to stand up, returned to the bedroom, and took out a box from the safe.
Inside stored the things most precious to him.
Old photos of his parents, the amulet sent by his brother, the entrance badge of the police academy... Now, an additional will.
He opened the box lid, put the already sealed letter on the very top, and then locked it again. When the box lock made that slight "click" sound, Hiromitsu suddenly realized clearly that the figure incomparably vivid in the photos had already turned into cold words on paper.
...As well as a name that would never be answered again.
He sat on the bed, his gaze turning uncontrollably to the bass nearby that gleamed with an amber luster.
That was the birthday present Kuno Nozomu gave him.
"Even if separated by thousands of mountains and rivers in the future... also treat it as if I am by your side, play it often, okay?"
At that time it was only treated as an ordinary instruction, looking back now, it seemed every word was soaked with the meaning of goodbye. If only he could have understood at that time. In that case... maybe he could have said it sooner.
Hiromitsu reached out to pick up the bass, his finger pad wiping lightly across the strings and the words "To Hiromitsu" carved on the neck.
"If I play it, can you hear it?"
He sat by the window, cradling the bass in his arms, adjusting his posture slightly, his fingers resting gently on the strings. A simple and heartwarming melody flowed in the silent room, penetrating the tightly closed doors and windows, scattering into the cold air, as if to float to a very, very distant place, floating to that youth who slept forever amid the gorgeous fireworks.
If you can hear it, I want to tell you—
"...Happy birthday, Nozomu."