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Chapter 2 - Stand Down, Azu! Outside It’s Jackie Chan and an IKEA!

"Hahaha… hahahahahaha!"

After his victory, Jia Changjiang tossed aside the tree trunk and collapsed flat onto the ground.

Scattered all around him were piles of Slime fragments—smashed, splattered, and utterly unrecognizable.

He'd won.

Just like he'd shouted earlier, he'd beaten them one by one—literally smashed every last Slime to pieces.

"Huff… ha… huff… hahaha…"

Lying on the grass, Jia Changjiang laughed so hard his lungs felt like a bellows about to burst.

Sure, they were "just" Slimes—but the feeling of battle…

It was addictive.

Absolutely intoxicating.

"Right… what was that voice just now?"

Jia Changjiang struggled to sit up.

After years of barely exercising thanks to work, the sheer amount of movement today hit him all at once. His entire body throbbed with soreness.

It hadn't been too bad lying still—but the moment he moved, the ache nearly sent him straight to the afterlife.

Yet strangely enough, the soreness seemed to fade much faster than it should have.

"…My food!"

Glancing around and seeing no one nearby, Jia Changjiang abandoned all dignity and crawled over to where he'd tossed his backpack earlier.

That bag contained an entire week's worth of groceries.

There was no way he could afford to lose it.

Thankfully, nothing had gone wrong. He managed to retrieve the backpack without incident.

Clutching the food-filled bag—his greatest source of emotional security—Jia Changjiang finally turned his attention back to that mysterious voice.

"That sounded like… a system?"

He rubbed his aching waist, replaying the events in his head.

"System?"

He called out tentatively.

No response.

"…Did I say it wrong?"

Jia Changjiang frowned, thinking hard.

"It was something like… Weapon Master, never dies unarmed, something-something system?"

As he recalled it, his entire face began twitching.

What kind of cursed, stitched-together nonsense was that?

[Welcome to the "Weapon Master Never Dies Unarmed—All Things Are Weapons" System.]

[This system is committed to providing high-quality and efficient service.]

"…It responded?"

The voice echoed beside his ears, as though something had been added directly into his consciousness.

There was no visible interface, no screen—but instinctively, Jia Changjiang felt that something inside him had changed.

He looked down at the backpack in his hands, his expression growing strange.

The backpack was still just a backpack.

And yet—

He felt like he could beat ten versions of his former self to death with it.

It was hard to explain. Jia Changjiang simply felt as though he'd… turned into Jackie Chan.

Just holding the backpack, dozens of ways to use it as a weapon flooded his mind.

Stand down, Azu! Outside it's all Jackie Chan and IKEA furniture!

"System? System, are you there?"

He spoke inwardly, testing the waters.

"You said something about 'service'… is that service even legit?"

[Thank you for using this system. Please carefully read the user manual. Thank you for your cooperation.]

The voice remained cold and mechanical, utterly devoid of emotion.

The next moment, a simple yet ancient-looking scroll appeared before Jia Changjiang's eyes, emitting a faint white glow.

It floated in midair, following his gaze wherever he looked.

At the very top were four characters:

User Manual

After reading it carefully, Jia Changjiang finally gained a rough understanding of what this ridiculous system in his head actually did.

In short—

He had become, in a certain sense, a still-very-weak… Weapon Master.

A grotesque fusion of countless beings who could be called Weapon Masters.

As long as he picked something up, anything, he could treat it as a weapon—and use it proficiently in combat.

That was the entire function of the system.

All Things Are Weapons—The Weapon Master Never Dies Unarmed.

The name alone screamed "ultimate Frankenstein creation."

But aside from that?

There was no character panel.

No level.

No skills.

The system didn't even have basic intelligence.

Even the so-called user manual was as barebones as a primary school sentence-shortening exercise.

"Yeah, my name is Jia Changjiang," he cursed furiously, "but I'm not Jax, and I sure as hell ain't some 'Knight of the Yangtze'!!"

Standing alone in the endless grassland, his voice was swallowed by the wind.

"Damn it! Couldn't transmigration at least come with a warning first?!"

He raged helplessly for a long while, but in the end, it was pointless.

Transmigration was like childbirth—you entered a new world, and there was no stuffing yourself back in.

"…I should explore this plain first."

At last, Jia Changjiang accepted reality.

Hoisting his backpack onto his shoulder, he picked a random direction and trudged forward.

"Hopefully I'll find a solution… before I run out of food."

...

About two hours later—

A thin wisp of smoke appeared in the distance.

"People?!"

After walking nonstop for two hours, the sight of smoke rising beyond a small hill sent Jia Changjiang into near hysterics.

He hurried forward as fast as his tired legs would carry him.

When he finally climbed the hill and looked down with eager eyes—

What he saw nearly made him black out.

Below him stood a group of humanoid creatures that looked like primitive tribesmen.

They wore masks, had thick body hair, and were dancing in a circle around a pot.

Nearby stood something even more alarming.

A massive figure over two meters tall—broad, muscular, with a mane like a lion's.

A giant axe rested beside it.

And the "primitive people" were chattering away in a language Jia Changjiang couldn't understand.

"P-primitive people…?"

His breath caught in his throat.

For a terrifying moment, he almost fainted on the hill.

Did this world not even have civilization?

What was the point of finding people if they just cooked him alive and turned him into "smoke"?

He pinched his philtrum hard, forcing himself to stay conscious, and continued observing from the hilltop.

But the more he watched—

The stranger it felt.

Why did these "primitive people" look… so familiar?

[Beginner Assistance Available. Please obtain a polearm-type weapon to activate assistance.]

The sudden voice made Jia Changjiang freeze.

"…?"

"Polearm… long-handled weapon?"

Slowly, his gaze shifted downward—

To the giant axe resting beside the towering figure at the foot of the hill.

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