"Don't look at me pushing this far up—I'm actually pretty scared. Our jungler is top. If their jungler comes and coordinates with Blitzcrank Flash, the two of us won't be able to run."
"But he said we can kill them, so let's see if we can outplay it. It's a game—can't be scared of everything. You've gotta go for the play at least once."
"And from that level-two fight, his Heimer definitely has proficiency."
Uzi explained to his stream while clearing the wave coming in from under the tower, eyes constantly flicking to the minimap.
He had a strong feeling Jarvan would come from the side.
And in fact, Jarvan was already in position—pinging with red side's bot lane duo.
He signaled Blitzcrank to start.
Kai'Sa and Heimer were playing that aggressively. It was time they paid the price.
Uzi kept Kai'Sa at roughly Flash-plus-auto range from Blitzcrank, specifically to avoid getting hit by a Flash–E knock-up.
He'd been punished too many times before. His spacing was tight and disciplined.
Seeing Jarvan arrive, Blitzcrank originally wanted to Flash–E to knock Kai'Sa up, then follow with Q—maximum guaranteed lockdown, delete Kai'Sa first.
But the enemy was respecting it hard. There was no clean angle.
From that alone, you could tell they were afraid.
So there was only one option left:
Flash hook.
With no Flash on the other side, dodging would be extremely difficult.
Jarvan was already set, and Blitzcrank stopped hesitating.
Lin Fan had also seen Jarvan waiting in the side brush—thanks to the ward Uzi had placed earlier.
Lin Fan pinged Danger on the map, then signaled Kai'Sa to move toward his position.
Uzi, remembering the pinyin Lin Fan had typed earlier, was already mentally prepared.
If their jungler came, they were going to fight—not run.
How they fought would depend on Heimer's turrets.
For a positional fight, they had to stand together.
But right then—
Blitzcrank flashed and threw the hook.
It's over.
Uzi's heart sank.
At longer range, you could sidestep it.
But Flash closed the distance so much that dodging with movement was basically impossible.
Even if you reacted, there wasn't enough space to step out.
You needed a dash to avoid it.
But Kai'Sa only had her E for now—her real mobility didn't come until level six.
"A smart choice."
A mini-turret appeared between Kai'Sa and Blitzcrank's hook.
Just like level one, the same scene replayed—
The hook grabbed a turret.
The turret instantly turned its fire onto Blitzcrank and started blasting.
At level two, turret damage was still very respectable.
And since they were committing to the engage, Blitzcrank ate several turret shots in a row.
Arcane Comet also procced(activated), and Blitzcrank's HP quietly dropped by another hundred.
Kai'Sa and Heimer were now standing together.
It was their first time with Heimer support—of course it was stressful when the enemy jungler came.
Blitzcrank's hook missing didn't discourage him. He popped W and sped forward anyway.
Uzi seized the opening and began outputting onto Blitzcrank nonstop.
Lin Fan wasn't idle either—his W went out first, straight into Blitzcrank.
Bang-bang-bang—five missiles, all hit.
The turrets' energy instantly filled.
They locked onto the Blitzcrank who'd stepped in and unleashed sustained fire.
Three empowered beams formed a triangular execution.
At level two, each empowered beam was already dealing around 60 damage—and that wasn't even counting AP scaling.
Lin Fan had stolen the earlier kill, so he'd already completed an Amplifying Tome.
His AP had reached 47.
TL:
Amplifying Tome: Basic early-game item that gives +20 Ability Power. Builds into larger AP items. Cheap starter item.
AP (Ability Power): Stat that increases magic damage from abilities. AP champions = mages, some assassins. Opposite of AD (Attack Damage).
Even after accounting for Blitzcrank's magic resistance, the empowered beams were far more than he could handle.
And the beams brushing past Blitzcrank also clipped Jarvan and Jinx—Lin Fan's damage output this fight was completely maxed out.
Meanwhile, red side's trio—bot lane and jungler—were all fixated on the idea that Kai'Sa would run.
They didn't even notice Blitzcrank had been chunked to half health.
Jarvan committed with an EQ combo.
But Uzi still hadn't used E yet.
Sidestepping was easy.
He activated E to speed up and kept chasing Blitzcrank.
Once Kai'Sa's passive popped, Blitzcrank's HP bottomed out and his passive shield triggered.
Blitzcrank was stunned—why was their damage so insane?
But now there was no escape.
He'd flashed in.
Lin Fan, however, had shifted his focus to Jarvan.
Jarvan was the only one with Flash.
Jinx and Blitzcrank were basically donation kills.
So the key question was: how do we keep all three?
Jarvan became the primary target.
Lin Fan autoed Jarvan repeatedly, still holding his E.
Uzi tanked through the damage and finished Blitzcrank with autos.
They'd avoided all the crucial control, so only Jarvan and Jinx autos were hitting them—Kai'Sa stayed above half HP.
Then Uzi turned and fired a point-blank W into Jarvan, tagging two passive stacks.
Jarvan had recalled and bought items, but he hadn't built any health.
At level four, forcing this dive meant he'd eaten an empowered beam already, and then drew turret aggro on top of it.
TL: Dive means jumping in like an assassin, trying to assassinate weaker players.
The base hits looked small, but with two turrets firing together it added up fast.
Add Kai'Sa's Void Seeker, and Jarvan dropped below half HP.
Lin Fan didn't hesitate.
The E he'd been holding the entire time arced over Jarvan's head.
Stunned.
All three turrets' energy bars filled instantly.
A death-triangle execution slammed into Jarvan.
Combined with Kai'Sa's fully stacked passive, Jarvan's HP was erased before he could even press Flash.
Double Kill.
As for Jinx—no Flash, and against a Kai'Sa with Red Buff—there was only one ending.
She donated her 300 gold as well.
Triple Kill!
Three kills!
Uzi's grin split wide.
He'd only cleared three waves, but he'd picked up three kills.
His gold count had already hit 1,600.
This felt amazing.
"This Heimer is insane! His damage in that fight was completely maxed—two small skills triggered six empowered beams."
Was the earlier kill just luck?
And he hadn't even tried to steal these three kills.
If he wanted to, that Jinx kill would've been his too.
That level-two Flash KS…
Was that actually setting up for this moment?
If so, it was terrifying.
From start to finish, he'd calculated exactly how the enemy would play.
Like a god writing a script.
Just thinking about it made Uzi's scalp tingle.
Whatever. He already had three kills.
This game was now a free enjoyment match.
After all, there's a saying:
If Uzi gets three kills early, the game is already over.
On this recall, he could finish another major chunk of items.
Meanwhile Jinx only had boots and a small attack-speed component.
Bot lane was completely doomed—no chance to come back.
Kai'Sa and Heimer started running rampant.
Turrets deleting people over and over…
At only twelve minutes, red side had already lost four turrets.
Jarvan, the jungler, went AFK in fountain.
TL: Fountain is home base.
He blamed it all on trying to gank bot—this idiot Blitzcrank got outplayed and contributed nothing.
"Two useless bots! How are we supposed to win?"
Kai'Sa was 7/0, Heimer 5/0.
How were you supposed to play that?
TL: If you want to read ahead by at least ten chapters, patreon.com/EdibleMapleSyrup