Tsunade Hime
'Hime' was not a destiny.
In the island nation's culture, Hime meant princess, an honorific of reverence and status.
"Tsunade-hime" was simply how Konoha respectfully addressed Senju Tsunade, the granddaughter of the First Hokage.
After the Third Hokage's death, it would be this same Tsunade who inherited the mantle of the Fifth.
That irony would one day come up.
Much later when Orochimaru performed his forbidden reincarnation ritual inside the Uchiha shrine, summoning the First and Second Hokage, there would be an awkward conversation.
After the initial confusion and the inevitable question of 'How exactly did you all die?', another topic emerged.
"So," Someone asked, "Who's the Fifth Hokage now?"
"Tsunade."
On the spot, a thick black line appeared across Senju Hashirama's face.
"My granddaughter?" He said incredulously. "The one who used to climb on my back and learned nothing from me except gambling?"
Indeed, there was one inheritance Tsunade was most proud of. No matter the bet, she always lost.
Grandfather and granddaughter alike, two legendary fat sheep, walking straight into every trap.
At this point in time, Tsunade was still very young. She knew nothing of wars, legacies, or Hokage titles.
She only knew how to cling to her grandfather and play.
Garfield descended from the Hokage Building's modest earthen roof, Rin following close behind, and the two made their way to the Senju compound.
Their sudden appearance startled the Senju clan guards, until they recognized the visitor.
The Great Cat God. Their tension eased immediately.
A graceful female ninja stepped forward and bowed.
"My lord. Lady Rin. I am Senju Torima. May I ask what brings you here? The patriarch is not currently at home."
Of course he wasn't.
That narrow-minded man had dragged his unwilling brother off to perform the Seaweed Dance again. Everyone knew this.
"I'm here to see your little princess." Garfield said casually.
"…Ah?"
Senju Torima froze. "Ah, of course! Please, this way!"
She hesitated. "Should I notify the patriarch?"
"You can," Garfield said lazily, flexing his claws. "Or you can stay right where you are. Try blocking me, and I'll scratch."
"…Understood."
She sighed helplessly. "My lord, the little Princess is already asleep."
"Children don't sleep for just half an hour," Garfield replied. "If you don't let me see her, I'll start escalating."
"…Escalating how?"
Garfield answered by twisting his claws. Time stopped.
The world froze mid-breath.
He produced a pen from nowhere and, with deliberate mischief, drew a neat black line across the guard's face.
Then he took Rin's hand and walked straight into the compound. Every guard they passed received the same treatment.
When they finally reached Tsunade's room, Garfield paused.
"Well." Ge said, suddenly awkward, "Rin. Please take care of her."
"…" Rin blinked, still processing the time stop, then nodded stiffly.
"Yes, Master Garfield. I understand."
"I trust your work," Garfield said seriously. He squatted outside the room and released the time-stop.
Inside, Rin quietly helped the sleeping Tsunade, who had apparently developed the habit of sleeping completely unclothed, put on her clothes.
Outside, Garfield waited.
Inside his soul space, chaos erupted. Pandora Godzilla lunged forward and bit him. "Asshole!"
"Smelly cat!"
"Perverted cat!"
"You won't even spare a child?!"
"I will destroy you on behalf of Earth!"
Crunch
"Ow, ow, stop biting!"
"Let go first!" Garfield protested. "How was I supposed to know she sleeps like that?! What kind of kid does that?!"
"She's a child!" Pandora snapped. "Children sleep however they want!"
"That's not a legal argument!" Garfield retorted. "This was accidental! I can't be sentenced to death for this!"
"Hmph. Perverted cat."
Pandora released him and flew out of his soul space, straight toward the room.
Garfield panicked. "Hey, what are you doing?!"
Pandora lifted her chin proudly. "Watching her. And if you dare step inside, I will bite you to death."
Garfield raised a paw in surrender.
"Alright. Alright. You win. I'll guard the door."
"Hmph."
And so the Great Cat God sat outside the Senju household, dutifully standing watch…
Not long after, Rin emerged together with the maid assigned to guard Tsunade. The two of them quietly squatted beside Garfield at the doorway, all three gazing up at the sky.
One cloud drifted past.
Then two.
Then three.
"That one looks like a dog's face." Rin said thoughtfully.
"That one looks like a hamburger." the maid replied.
Garfield squinted. "Or… it might be poop. Honestly, the shapes are suspiciously similar."
"Just round lumps stacked together."
They nodded in solemn agreement. More than ten minutes passed.
From inside the room came bursts of Tsunade's delighted laughter.
Garfield, Rin, and the maid exchanged glances. What exactly was happening in there?
Garfield briefly considered going inside, then remembered the fear of being bitten to death by Pandora Godzilla.
…Forget it.
A wise man knew when to bend. And more importantly, when to stay alive.
At that moment, a figure descended from the sky and landed lightly in the courtyard.
Hashirama.
He took in the strange sight before him… a cat, a girl, and a maid squatting at his door, Tsunade's laughter drifting out from inside, and the faint sense that something was deeply wrong.
His family maid was… unreliable, at best. So his gaze naturally turned to the most suspicious presence.
"Garfield," Hashirama asked, pointing at the door, "Why are you squatting here? And who is playing with Tsunade inside?"
Garfield glanced at him and sighed with profound weariness.
"Hashirama." He said slowly, "No matter how tough you are in life, there will always be someone who can subdue you."
"You can't beat them. You can't scold them. So you endure. That's how it is."
Hashirama rubbed his chin, thought for a moment, then suddenly brightened.
He slung an arm around Garfield's shoulder. "I understand completely. In fact, I only realized how happy solitude was after I got married."
Garfield's sensitive nose twitched.
The exact same scent as the one clinging to Hashirama.
A dangerous smirk curled at the corner of Garfield's mouth.
"Hashirama." He asked lightly, "Is your wife… fierce?"
Hashirama nodded solemnly. "Very. Not only is she fierce, she's also not even good-looking."
"She couldn't get married at first, you know. When I saw her, I was worried, such a big girl was still unmarried. How could I not step in? Helping others is the foundation of happiness, after all."
"So I helped her family solve a major problem."
Garfield blinked. "What problem? Were they starving?"
"Yes. My wife eats extremely well." Hashirama nodded earnestly.
"Her family was so poor that the rice jar was nearly empty. I even heard mice starved to death inside it."
Garfield gasped. "That's tragic."
"Isn't it?" Hashirama agreed gravely.
Garfield slowly turned to look at him, then called out calmly, "Rin. Maid. We're leaving."
"Well, Hashirama," Garfield added, "I won't bother you. I've got other things to do."
Before he could move, Hashirama hugged him tightly. "Don't go! Garfield, we get along so well. Let's talk a little longer!"
Cats, however, are liquid creatures.
Garfield, though not a true orange cat, had inherited that sacred ability. He slipped effortlessly from Hashirama's grasp.
"Hashirama." Garfield said kindly, "If you become disabled later, remember to contact me. I'll treat you for free."
"Goodbye."
"…What?" Hashirama froze.
"Goodbye, Madam Senju," Garfield added cheerfully. "Farewell."
In one smooth motion, Garfield recalled Pandora Godzilla, grabbed Rin, and activated the space stone.
Before disappearing completely, Garfield heard Hashirama's panicked cry.
"Honey~don't, ah!!"
Garfield did not look back.
Some fates were unavoidable.
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
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