Seraphina left Garfield's shop in a daze.
Even as she stepped back through the portal into New York, her mind buzzed with unanswered questions.
Why was Garfield forcing Grindelwald to shout slogans?
Why copy them? Why assign him labor reform?
What kind of ideological cleansing required morning exercises and moral essays?
It was too mysterious.
Too incomprehensible.
Too… orange-cat.
She gave up trying to understand.
✦••┈┈••✦••┈┈••✦
After supper, Garfield wandered down to the underground forest. He glanced lazily toward the tree where Grindelwald was tied.
The Dark Lord was still struggling, whimpering into his gag.
Garfield strengthened the rope with a casual flick of magic, yawned, and went back upstairs to sleep in Queenie's arms.
He did not think about Grindelwald again until the next afternoon… when Rin Nohara marched up to him with a pinched expression.
"King Garfield," She complained, "That bad guy stinks.,, you should go check."
"Stinks?" Garfield blinked. "Ah. Excretion issue."
Poor Grindelwald. It wasn't intentional, Garfield had simply… forgotten he existed.
"I'll handle it," Garfield sighed. "Go rest, Rin."
Rin nodded and found herself a little wooden bench.
Garfield raised a paw, opened a shimmering portal, and hopped through.
He materialized right beside Grindelwald and flinched back!!!
An avalanche of stench slammed into him.
"WHAT IN THE NINE DIMENSIONS HAPPENED TO YOU?!"
"WOOO—WOOO—WOOO!" Grindelwald cried out with hope in his eyes.
Garfield pinched his nose. "How old are you? Two?"
"You're a legendary dark wizard! Have some dignity! Even toddlers with open-crotch pants know how to hold it!"
The gagged Grindelwald trembled with rage and humiliation, snarling into the cloth.
"Clean." Garfield flicked his paw.
A wave of golden magic swept over Grindelwald, and every stain dissolved into primitive atoms. His entire body felt fresh, almost heavenly by comparison.
Garfield then summoned a floating golden magic circle to bind him properly and lifted the gag.
Grindelwald drew a furious breath, ready to cast a spell!
Garfield bonked him on the head with a golden mallet.
BOOM
The Dark Lord crumpled.
Then came The Education of Love… a stern lecture, a scolding, a magical thwack or two.
When Grindelwald's nose was swollen and his pride in tatters, Garfield healed him.
Grindelwald immediately tried again.
BONK
Another lecture.
Another healing.
Another attempted rebellion.
BONK
This cycle continued for an entire day.
Eventually Garfield was exhausted.
Grindelwald was kneeling in front of him, bruised like a pig-headed emperor, too dazed to stand.
"Can you speak normally now?" Garfield sighed.
Grindelwald nodded vigorously.
"Good. First question… what kind of creature do you think I am?"
"Y-Your Majesty Garfield, of course…" The Dark Lord swallowed.
Garfield lifted his chin. "Mm. Correct."
Garfield waved a paw dismissively. "Anyway… let's talk about your future."
Grindelwald stiffened.
"I have designed a transformation and re-education plan just for you," Garfield said proudly. "It begins tomorrow morning."
"A… transformation plan?" Grindelwald paled.
Garfield's eyes gleamed with benevolence that felt strangely threatening.
"Yes. A complete overhaul of your worldview, behavior, morals, and life trajectory."
He smiled. "Welcome to Phase One of the Saving Grindelwald Initiative."
Before Grindelwald could speak another word, Garfield flicked his tail, recast the binding spell, and tied him back to the tree.
This was no negotiation.
…
next afternoon
With his lesson plan prepared and afternoon tea still warm, Garfield lazily tapped open his livestream interface.
He typed out today's title with the solemnity of a scholar announcing a dissertation…
[How to Turn a Dark Wizard Into a Good Person.]
The legendary door shimmered open beside Grindelwald. The chat instantly erupted.
'FINALLY he's live!!'
'Anchor, where did you disappear to?!'
'Are you worthy of us hardworking, unpaid viewers?!'
'My grandson! Look! The hot orange cat you always liked but denied… he's streaming again!'
'LIFETIME!!!!'
'COME!'
'COMING!!'
'WE HAVE ARRIVED, MASTER!!'
'Auspicious Orange Cat! Step on me, please!'
'I want to give birth to your kittens!!!!'
Then…
Someone noticed the figure tied across the clearing.
'Wait… isn't that guy kind of familiar?'
'Hold on~IS THAT GRINDELWALD?!'
'Distressed Dark Lord inbound…'
'Why is he tied up in a forest???'
'Anchor, This looks illegal!!'
Grindelwald was starving and dizzy after two days with nothing but malice and rope for sustenance… swayed as Garfield removed the silencing spell.
He nearly collapsed forward, clutching the tree to stay upright.
His lips parted.
BONG
A glowing golden stick materialized and smacked him squarely on the head.
Without a single word of sympathy, Garfield healed him and sat down like a strict teacher preparing to scold a misbehaving student.
Grindelwald, battered inside and out, obediently folded his legs and sat in front of him.
Garfield pulled out a notebook the size of his paw.
"Alright," He said. "From today onward, you will begin studying Ideology and Morality."
"…What?" Grindelwald blinked.
Garfield narrowed his eyes. "Listen carefully. I will read the content and you will repeat it."
He cleared his throat.
"Be proud of caring for your wife, and ashamed of neglecting her.
Be proud of serving your wife, and ashamed of troubling her.
Be proud of praising your wife!"
Grindelwald's brain crashed. What in Merlin's name was this?
Before he could object, Garfield's eyes sharpened.
"Repeat."
"I—I… concerned…" Grindelwald stammered.
The bullet comments exploded like fireworks.
'WHAT IS THIS CURRICULUM???'
'Grindelwald, blink twice if you need help.'
'MY DARK WIZARD HUSBAND IS BEING BRAINWASHED.'
'Orange cat, release our man!!'
"This is DEFINITELY for Dumbledore.'
"Upstairs said the realest sentence today.'
'GET OUT HERE and EXPLAIN YOURSELF."
'We're waiting for the official announcement.'
'Someone call a lawyer."
'I'm just a trainee… I like to sing, dance, rap—DON'T HIT ME.'
'Dark Lord so pitiful… but I can't stop laughing.'
…
Grindelwald, despite every injury to his ego, had a good memory. He repeated perfectly.
Garfield nodded in satisfaction, summoned a wooden stick, and pointed to the soil.
"Copy it a hundred times."
"…" Grindelwald.
The bullet chat went wild again.
But he lowered his noble head, swallowed his dignity, and began writing Garfield's Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces into the dirt… stroke by humiliating stroke.
The viewers were thrilled, some clipped the moment instantly.
No one had ever imagined they'd live to see Gellert Grindelwald, the scourge of continents, sitting cross-legged on the forest floor like a primary schooler doing punishment lines.
Hours later, having written the phrases a full hundred times, Grindelwald looked up with red eyes and whispered:
"…I'm hungry."
Garfield paused.
Then he nodded, opened a cabinet that definitely shouldn't have existed inside a forest, and pulled out the Ministry's prepared meal.
A ridiculous feast… breakfast, lunch, and dinner stacked together.
Grindelwald's eyes glistened and he devoured it in silence, dignity long gone.
When he finished, Garfield compassionless as ever, recast the binding spell.
"Rest well. Class resumes tomorrow." And he left through the shimmering portal.
…
As the portal closed, Grindelwald's expression twisted with fury.
He would escape.
He would take revenge.
He would~
…have realized the truth if he had a working sense of time.
He had already been here, undergoing 'rehabilitation.' for an entire year.
And didn't know.
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
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