The cafe felt smaller than Cecily remembered.
Or maybe it was because of the heavy silence between them that made it feel that way.
With her spoon she stirred her coffee slowly, even though she hadn't added sugar.Ethan watched her hands instead of her face.
"I didn't plan for any of this," Cecily said.
"I know," Ethan replied.
She looked up at him.
"Then why does it feel like we're revisiting something meant to be forgotten?? Something we already closed?"
He hesitated. "Because maybe it was never really closed."
That made her chest feel heavier than before.
While looking at the window. She muttered softly.
"I leave tomorrow."
"I know," he said again, quietly this time.
"I didn't come back with the thought of meeting you." she added. "I came for work. For my future."
"And I don't want to get in the way of that," Ethan said. "I swear."
She nodded. "Good."
But her voice didn't sound convincing. Not even to her.
They sat there for a moment, listening to the soft noise of the cafe around them. Cups clinking. Low conversations. Unsaid words around them.
"Why didn't you reply?"
She blurted out of the bloom.
Ethan frowned. "Reply to what?"
"My email," Cecily said. "The one I sent before I left."
He froze.
"What email?" he asked slowly.
Her heart dropped.
"You're serious?" she asked.
"I swear," he said. "I never saw anything."
"I poured everything into that message. I told you I was leaving because I thought you didn't want me anymore."
She laughed, but it was hollow,even to her.
Ethan while staring at her says.
"Cecily, I thought you left because you were done with me."
"I waited for weeks. I checked my inbox every day."
She says while she shaked her head.
"I never got it,"
He said, his voice tight. "I only found it yesterday. It was unread."
Her breath caught. "Yesterday?"
"Yes," he replied. "Five years too late."
Silence crashed between them.
"So we hated each other," Cecily said slowly, "because of one unread email?"
Ethan swallowed. "Seems like it."
She leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "That's so stupid."
"I know," he said.
"I replayed everything in my head last night. All the anger. All the bad things I said to myself about you."
Her voice shook.
"I thought you didn't care."
"I cared too much,that's why I let you go."
He says.
She laughed softly.
"You let me go because you assumed."
Chuckling softly. He says.
"And you left because you assumed,"
They looked at each other then. Really looked.
Years of distance sat between them.
"So much time wasted,"
Cecily whispered.
"I tried to move on,"
Ethan says. "Cause the mere thought of you brings back sad memories."
"That's why you got married?" she asked before she could stop herself.
"I thought that if I built something new, the past would stop hurting."
He says while nodding.
"And did it?"
She asked.
He didn't answer immediately.
"No," he said honestly.
Her chest ached at that.
"I'm engaged," Cecily said again, softer now.
"I know," Ethan replied.
"And I respect that."
She studied his face. "Do you?"
"Yes," he said. "Even if it hurts."
She sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."
"You don't have to know," he said. "Not tonight."
She glanced at the time on her phone. "I should go."
"Already?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied. "If I stay longer, I'll start saying things I shouldn't."
He nodded. "I get that."
They stood up at the same time.
For a second, they just stood there, too close. Old memories pressed against her chest.
"Take care of yourself," Ethan said.
"You too," Cecily replied.
She walked away before he could say anything else.
Outside, the air felt cooler. She breathed deeply, like she'd been holding it in for years.
Her phone buzzed.
A message from her fiancé.
Him:
"Did you get everything you needed today?"
She stared at the screen.
"Yes,"
She typed back. Just finishing up some things.
She slipped the phone back into her bag.
Tomorrow, she would leave again.
But this time, she wasn't sure she was leaving the past behind.
And that scared her more than anything else.