Qiu Yunru face-planted into Li Chenyuan's chest and stood there for a moment, stunned.
He couldn't help but notice that Li Chenyuan had a very distinct, pleasant smell--like sandalwood and jasmine. Of course a young noble master would smell as expensive as his title!
"..." He said, smushed against Li Chenyuan's robes. Li Chenyuan was still holding his wrists with an iron grip, looking with horror down at his shige.
"Is there something in your robes...?" Qiu Yunru muttered, puzzled. "Isn't your sword on your belt?"
Li Chenyuan let out a sound that could only be described as a shriek, and released Qiu Yunru's wrists, jumping back as though he'd been burned. He turned around immediately, staring at a tree with a face as red as a hibiscus flower.
Qiu Yunru rubbed his wrists, feeling a little warm. He wasn't sure why--it must be from embarrassment and awkwardness. Falling onto another person was not only embarrassing, but it was also the sort of thing that happened in romantic comedies. What's more, it had happened during a confrontation, which made things only feel even more awkward!
He coughed into his hand and folded his hands, trying to organize his thoughts.
Even if he couldn't be completely honest, maybe being more honest was better than less. After all, it seemed his relationship with this kid really wasn't doing so well after all, which wasn't a good thing. A bad relationship = a higher likelihood of crushed guts in the future...
"Li-shidi..." He said slowly.
"What." Li Chenyuan's voice was sharp and irritated. He didn't turn around.
"...You told me that you had a disease. You knew you didn't have a disease, right?"
Li Chenyuan's face went white as paper. His fists clenched. "...I don't know what you're talking about."
"If you're going to act like that, I really can't tell you why I've been avoiding you."
Li Chenyuan whirled around, looking both a little panicked and heavily enraged. "...Fine! You're right! I don't have a disease." He pursed his lips, looking a little sick as he picked at the sleeves of his robes anxiously--something Qiu Yunru had rarely seen him do. "What do you know?"
Qiu Yunru sighed. "Eleven generations ago, your family made an exchange with a demon that provided you with the inherited power to use demonic cultivation to manipulate minds."
Li Chenyuan stiffened. His eyes darted up to Qiu Yunru's face fearfully. "...I don't..."
Seeing Qiu Yunru's unimpressed expression, Li Chenyuan gritted his teeth and changed course:
"How did you find out? It was at the Sword Ceremony, right?"
Qiu Yunru nodded. "When Cai Mingzhu pushed me into the lake, I met the blacksmith corpse who lives there. He told me."
Li Chenyuan scoffed. "And you believed everything he told you?"
Qiu Yunru didn't really know how to answer this. Now that he thought about it, wasn't it a bit silly for him to so easily believe what that blacksmith had said? After all, he'd never even met him once before, and knew nothing about his character. He didn't even know about that blacksmith's background; considering that he had been imprisoned at the bottom of a lake for eons, he could very well be a horrible person!
However, he had to give himself a little credit. It hadn't really been until He Yongliang had confirmed things that he'd really gotten worried.
"...Shizun also confirmed it," Qiu Yunru added apologetically.
Li Chenyuan flicked his sleeve out, breathing heavily. "Is that why he's been trying to get me to train with him lately? Every since that day, he's approached me every week about managing my demonic cultivation. It's exhausting."
"Have you been training with him? Isn't that a good thing?"
"A little." Li Chenyuan looked up at the sky, his face dark. "I don't like spending time with him. I think he sees my father when he looks at me. It's...uncomfortable."
What could Qiu Yunru say to that? It was true, wasn't it? Ever since Li Chenyuan had joined the sect, He Yongliang had doted on and favored him, looking on him with a sparkling gaze without ever having met him once. It made sense that, being Li Guiren's former sworn brother, he would have a tragic attachment to that horrible person he'd had to kill, and now that attachment couldn't help but spill over onto Li Chenyuan.
"...Well...I've been avoiding you because I found out about your demonic cultivation." Qiu Yunru said awkwardly. He'd been a bit of a fool in thinking he could hold such a complicated conversation without practicing first. If he tried to close thing up quickly, maybe he could still end this on good enough terms with his shidi.
"...So you've been avoiding me because...why? You think I'm evil? Do you think I'm hurting people with my cultivation?" Li Chenyuan spat bitterly. "Is your first assumption that that's the kind of person I am, ge?"
Uh-oh. That wasn't what he'd meant to imply.
Though, that really was what it sounded like, wasn't it? Without the context of that vision, the only good conclusion was that Qiu Yunru really had no faith in his shidi's character at all, and had been ready to toss him aside at any moment!
"No, no!" Qiu Yunru said quickly, waving his hands. "There was also--um..."
Was that vision really something he should share?
"Also what?" Li Chenyuan said pointedly, his face cold.
Ah, what should he do?! What if it was an Oedipus kind of thing, and if he told this kid about that future possibility, it would then come true?
"Not going to tell me? Of course not," Li Chenyuan snapped, turning away with a flick of his sleeve. "I'm going back."
Fuck! He could feel the friendliness between them crumbling like an avalanche!
"Wait!" Qiu Yunru cried out. "I also saw a vision! Senior Blacksmith showed me a vision where you had killed a million cultivators and also crushed my skull! So--so I was afraid! I really tried not to be, but I can't help it!"
Li Chenyuan paused, his hand on the hilt of his sword. There was a long silence, punctuated only by the sound of a pheasant's crow, and the rustling of the leaves of the great pines all around.
"I didn't really believe it until Shizun told me that it was fifty percent possible, okay?" Qiu Yunru added quickly. He felt pathetic, and bit his lip.
Ever since he had come to this world, he had never felt like he had no idea what to do. When there was a giant snake, he thought of an alchemical solution. When he had to train himself to the bone, he could follow the game menu's instructions. When on missions, he could follow quests and seek out his goal of immortality.
Now, even his words, which he always trusted himself to use well, were coming out clumsily and thoughtlessly.
Slowly, Li Chenyuan turned around.
His face was white as a peony, drained of all color. His lip trembled, and his pupils were blown wide with horror.
"...What?"
Qiu Yunru didn't want to speak anymore and make things worse. He folded his hands tightly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. "..."
Li Chenyuan's eyes grew wet in the moonlight, shining blankly.
Suddenly, he began to laugh. It wasn't a joyful laugh, or one that sounded like he was convinced Qiu Yunru was joking. It was high-pitched, catching in his throat like a sob.
"Why didn't Shizun tell me...?" Li Chenyuan laughed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner...?"
Qiu Yunru clenched his fists and unclenched them. His throat felt unbearably tight.
"Am I really that untrustworthy?" Li Chenyuan went on hoarsely. "Am I so dangerous that I can't be told about myself...?" He wiped at his eyes. The laughter no longer sounded so much like laughter. He was crying. "Is it so easy to believe I'm so evil...?"