Chapter 189: Wow! I knew Haru was the best!Watching the pile of crystal powder drift away in the wind, Haru and Satou Kazuma solemnly high-fived each other in the bushes of the wilderness."Haru, from now on, everything that happened last night was just an exorcism ritual. Whether it was a succubus, a princess, or some intense friendship, none of it existed! Whoever dares to let a single word slip is a Slime raised by Axis Cultists!"Kazuma's eyes were firmer than ever, as if he were defending some sacred and inviolable truth."My thoughts exactly. I didn't plan on letting this dark history live past today either. Since the evidence is gone, as long as we adamantly deny everything, Megumin and the others can't do anything to us."Haru straightened his messy collar, regaining that calm and composed mage demeanor.After reaching a consensus, the two parted ways at the city gate.Kazuma went off with a sullen look to find that equally shameless scoundrel warrior, Dust, to go drinking, attempting to use alcohol to completely wash away the memory of the sensation of Haru's neck from his mind.Meanwhile, Haru let out a long sigh of relief. Clutching the massive sum of 180 million eris, he planned to wander aimlessly through the streets of Axel, taking the opportunity to calm his nearly collapsing mind.The afternoon streets of Axel were full of the hustle and bustle of daily life.The hawking from roadside stalls, the bragging of Adventurers, and the occasional explosion (most likely Megumin setting off fireworks outside the city) gave Haru a sense of long-lost tranquility.Just as he was passing by a stall selling french fries, his back was suddenly tapped lightly."Hey! Isn't this Haru? Long time no see. Why are you spacing out here all by yourself? You don't look so good. Did you not sleep well last night?"A lively girl's voice rang in his ears.Haru turned his head to see that iconic short silver hair, along with the faint scar on the lower left side of her cheek that did nothing to diminish her beauty.The girl was wearing a light Thief outfit; the combination of a tube top and shorts accentuated her lithe figure, and her nimble eyes sparkled with the look of a successful prank.It was Chris.Or rather, it was that lucky goddess who got lonely in the heavens and occasionally descended to the mortal realm to experience life—eris.Looking at this incarnation of a goddess before him, who was ten thousand times more reliable and ten thousand times gentler than Aqua, Haru's previously taut nerves instantly relaxed.Compared to the three problem children at home who could trigger a nuclear explosion or social death at any moment, Chris was practically the salvation of this world."Oh, it's Chris. Some things did happen... things that were exhausting. But seeing you, I feel much better."Haru offered a sincere smile."As it happens, I was planning to wander around. If you don't mind, would you like to join me? Anyway, I have plenty of money right now. If you want to eat something or need any equipment, just say the word."Chris was stunned for a moment, then broke into a brilliant smile and coolly patted Haru on the shoulder."Wow! That sounds confident! Did you strike it rich? Since you're being so generous, I won't hold back! I actually just had my eye on a very interesting set of throwing knives. Let's go, let's go!"The two walked side by side down the bustling street.Chris's cheerful and unpretentious personality made Haru temporarily forget the shadows of last night.He watched Chris excitedly hopping from stall to stall, sighing inwardly to himself.Sure enough, they're both goddesses, so why is the difference so huge? If Aqua could be half as cute and considerate as Chris, he wouldn't want to quit the party every single day."Hey, Haru."Chris suddenly stopped in front of a jewelry stall, pointed at a pendant emitting a faint silver light, and stuck out her tongue a little embarrassedly."This... although it doesn't provide any stat bonuses for a Thief, it just feels a lot like a friend of mine. Could you lend me some money to buy it? Next time I steal... *cough*, next time I earn some money, I'll pay you back!"Haru glanced at the pendant; it was a piece of silver jewelry engraved with the holy seal of the Eris Order.He smiled and pulled out a stack of eris, handing it to the shopkeeper."It's a gift for you. Consider it a thank-you for keeping me company while I shop.""Um... Haru, although I really feel bad about interrupting your rest, this is something only you can help me with."Chris tugged lightly on Haru's sleeve, her clear eyes shimmering with a hint of apology and expectation.She lowered her head slightly, a cute blush spreading across her cheeks. That expression of 'if you really don't want to go, I won't force you, but I'm really troubled' was simply a fatal attack.Haru had originally planned to return to the mansion, collapse on the sofa, and sleep until the world ended, putting last night's farce completely behind him. But looking at Chris's pitiful appearance, his mental defenses crumbled instantly."N-no problem." Haru sighed and shrugged resignedly. "Since it's a request from you, how could I possibly refuse? Go ahead.""Wow! I knew Haru was the best!" Chrisimmediately jumped up and excitedly patted Haruon the back."Actually, it's not a big problem. I'm planning to collect an item—a Ring of Chatterbox that was discarded in the abandoned old mine outside the city. It's said that whoever wears it will be unable to stop themselves from blurting out all the secrets they are thinking, and it can't be taken off unless you perform a shameful act."Haru's mouth twitched."...This sounds even more dangerous than that recording crystal from last night. Something like this shouldn't really belong in the mortal realm, right?""Wu... who knows? Maybe it was brought here by some unlucky reincarnated Adventurer?" Chris stuck out her tongue, her eyes drifting away with a guilty look. "Anyway, to prevent it from being picked up by bad guys, we have to retrieve it immediately!"The two quickly left the bustling commercial street and headed toward the old mine on the outskirts of the city.Along the way, Chris seemed exceptionally excited.She hopped around Haru from time to time, occasionally sharing some gossip she had heard at the Adventurers Guild.Watching her cheerful demeanor, the feeling of being healed grew stronger in Haru's heart.Although he was well aware that Chris might be hiding her identity as a goddess, this kind of human-perspective interaction made him feel incredibly real.The entrance to the mine was gloomy and permeated with a musty smell.Chris skillfully pulled two glow sticks from the pouch at her waist, handed one to Haru, and then lowered her voice."Be careful, Haru. Although it's just a small quest, there might still be some uncleaned Slimes or Goblins left in the mine. As a Thief, I'll be responsible for detecting traps, and you'll be responsible for—hmm, using your powerful magic to protect me?"She winked playfully at Haru, and for a moment, Haru even felt that the tiny scar at the corner of her eye carried a charming allure."No problem. Stay close to me."Haru gripped his staff tightly, a hint of anticipation actually arising in his heart for this drudgery.
Chapter 190: The Contrasting ChrisDeep in the mine, the air grew increasingly damp and chilly. Occasionally, water droplets fell from overhead, creating crisp echoes in the gloom.Haru and Chris ventured deeper with caution; the glow sticks in their hands could barely illuminate the path a few meters ahead."Hiss... I keep feeling like there's a strange smell here, like mud and... some kind of moldy fur?"Chris twitched her nose, her ears slightly trembling; clearly, her Thief's keen senses were at work.Just as she finished speaking, several pairs of glowing green eyes suddenly lit up in the darkness ahead!Immediately after, a piercing screech tore through the silence of the mine as a group of small-statured Goblins with sickly grey-green skin and bloodshot eyes lunged out from the crevices in the rock walls and from behind abandoned mine carts!They brandished rusted daggers and wooden clubs, emitting unintelligible gurgling sounds from their mouths; clearly, they had been affected by some kind of power and had become exceptionally berserk."They're Berserk Goblins! Is it the influence of the cursed ring? They're even fiercer than usual!"Chris let out a low cry, but her body had already reacted instinctively.She glided forward like a ghost, her two daggers flashing with cold light as they were instantly unsheathed.Her left dagger precisely parried a wooden club swung by a Goblin, while her right dagger struck like a viper into the chest of another Goblin.Her movements were swift and fluid, each attack executed with astonishing efficiency without a single wasted motion, as if she were dancing on the tip of a blade. Several Goblins hadn't even managed to get close before they turned into light particles and dissipated beneath her blade."Haru, watch out for their speed!" Chris didn't forget to remind Haru behind her after dealing with the enemies in front of her.Haru didn't hesitate either. Facing the swarming Goblins, a flash of keen insight crossed his eyes."Freeze!"A cold blue beam shot from the tip of his staff, instantly freezing the three fastest Goblins in front.They remained in their ferocious poses, frozen into living ice sculptures."Lightning!"Immediately after, a dazzling flash of electricity condensed at his fingertips, whipping toward the group of Goblins on the other side.The Goblins hit by it convulsed all over, their charred bodies smoking as they fell to the ground.Haru didn't stop; while casting magic, he precisely created slippery mud pits and sharp stone spikes beneath the Goblins' feet according to their charge path.The Goblins slipped and fell in the mud pits, wailing in pain on the stone spikes."Nice job, Haru!" Chris exclaimed in admiration, her figure weaving between the Goblins like a silver bolt of lightning, finishing off the enemies that had been slowed or knocked down by Haru's magic.Her Thief skills and Haru's spells complemented each other perfectly—one handled melee harvesting, the other remote crowd control and damage—with astonishing efficiency.In less than a moment, the group of Berserk Goblins was wiped out, leaving only scattered magic stones and some broken weapons on the ground.Haru even felt a bit unsatisfied; this battle was much easier than he had imagined, and even somewhat... exhilarating."Whew, these Goblins are much more troublesome than usual. If you weren't here, I'd really have struggled on my own."Chris sheathed her daggers, wiped the fine sweat from her forehead, and a hint of excited flush appeared on her face. "Your magic is truly powerful! Especially that Freeze; it's practically a god-tier crowd control skill!""You're not bad yourself, Chris," Haru responded with a smile. "Your agility is the most impressive I've ever seen; every attack is spot on—it's practically art."Being complimented by Haru, Chris's cheeks flushed slightly again, and she scratched her head in embarrassment."Hehe, not at all, it's just basic stuff. Since we've dealt with these little nuisances, let's keep going deeper. That ring should be further inside."In the deepest part of the Goblin nest, resting quietly on a piece of ore emitting a faint purple glow, lay the Ring of Chatter.It wasn't as simple as ordinary silver jewelry; instead, it was inlaid with a red gemstone that seemed to be constantly throbbing, emitting a cloying yet dangerous aura.Haru stared at the ring, his brain suddenly feeling a slight dizziness.A seductive voice whispered in his ear:"Put it on... put it on and you will be able to master everyone's secrets, whether it's the color of the Guild Receptionist's underwear, or the true inner thoughts of that silver-haired Thief..."Haru's eyes gradually became unfocused, and his right hand uncontrollably reached toward the ring."Wait, wait a second! Haru! You can't touch that!"Chris screamed and lunged over like an arrow released from a bow.She had originally intended to push Haru's hand away, but because the mine floor was slippery and due to the physical exertion from the earlier battle, Chris slipped the moment she landed, crashing directly into Haru's arms.Their fingers became entangled in the chaos, and the ring, seemingly possessing a mind of its own, traced an eerie arc in the air and settled securely onto the middle finger of Chris's slender left hand.A dazzling pink light instantly exploded, illuminating the entire mine."It's, it's over..."Chris stared blankly at the ring on her hand, her complexion instantly turning from pale to that of a steamed crab.Haru hadn't yet recovered from the soft embrace when he saw Chris suddenly cover her mouth tightly with both hands, her body trembling violently, her eyes filled with tears of shame."Chris? Are you okay? Since you've put it on, can't you just take it off by performing that shameful action?"Haru asked tentatively.However, the ring's magic had already begun to take effect.Intermittent sounds began to leak through the gaps in Chris's fingers—the heartfelt truths she would normally never say out loud:"Wuwu! Actually... actually, I secretly practice cool Thief poses under my covers every night, and I think it's super cool... And, and although Senior Aqua is always causing trouble for others, her crying face is actually quite cute; every time I see it, I want to squish her cheeks..."Chris widened her eyes in horror; she tried desperately to shut her mouth, but the ring's power left her vocal cords completely out of control:"Also! When Haru was holding me just now, I, I was actually thinking about how warm his embrace was, and even felt that it would be nice if he could hold me for a while longer... Aaaaah! What am I saying! Just kill me! How could I say something like that out loud!"Haru stood there, listening to the goddess's machine-gun-like confession, his entire being petrified.This level of truth-or-dare had more destructive power than all those Goblins from earlier combined."Um... Chris, calm down. Although these words are indeed quite explosive, we just need to take the ring off!"Although Haru was madly complaining internally, seeing Chris about to die of shame, he decided to save her first."I can't take it off! The condition to remove this ring is... is..."Chris's voice became as soft as a mosquito's buzz, but the ring's light grew brighter and brighter, forcing her to shout out loud:"It requires performing an incredibly shameful action!!!"The mine fell into a deathly silence.Haru looked at the silver-haired Thief before him, usually so heroic and dashing, now so ashamed she was about to spontaneously combust. He swallowed and had only one thought in his mind:Just how malicious is the personality of this world's creator!
Chapter 191: My Cat-Eared Little AssistantHaru took a deep breath, replacing his expression with one of solemnity, almost like that of a martyr.He crossed his arms and nodded slightly, his tone filled with a sense of righteousness, as if saying, "If I don't go to hell, who will?""Chris, I understand. Although as an upright mage, staring directly at a girl doing such shameful actions goes against my principles, in order to save you from this curse, I am willing to bear this heavy mental burden. Please, do not feel any psychological pressure. Just look at me as a stone statue without any emotion, and begin your performance!"Despite his words, Haru's eyes, which were widened even more than usual, and the curve at the corner of his mouth that he couldn't suppress no matter how hard he tried, had completely betrayed his true inner thoughts."Lin, Haru! You scum! You are clearly looking forward to this, aren't you! You are absolutely looking forward to it!!"Chris let out a wail, her cheeks turning bright red from extreme shame, as if they were steaming.However, the Ring of Chatterbox would not go easy on her just because of her resistance. The ruby on the ring flashed more and more rapidly, as if urging her on.Chris's hands, as if controlled by invisible strings, tremblingly raised to the sides of her head. Her index and middle fingers curved slightly, forming a pair of extremely vivid, even slightly playful cat ears."Ugh... i-it's starting..."Chris squeezed her eyes shut, her long eyelashes trembling. Her hands, which were usually used to wield a dagger with decisive lethality, were now performing cute gestures that even the most popular Succubus Shop in Axel would have to bow down to."Meow, meow... meow meow... I-I am Master's most obedient little kitty..."Chris's voice trembled violently, carrying a crying tone as if she were about to burst into tears. The huge contrast between this usually heroic and dashing Thief girl and her current soft, cute state made Haru feel as if the string of reason in his brain was snapping.The ring's glow intensified, as if hinting that her sincerity was insufficient.Chris completely gave up on herself. She opened her eyes abruptly, revealing a wet gaze filled with a hint of self-abandonment.She swayed her waist towards Haru, formed a heart shape with her hands in front of her chest, and then shouted in a voice that could make any man's bones melt:"Moe-moe chu! ♦ Master, I was secretly thinking about you just now... For such a thing, please, you must give me the most, the most intense punishment, meow!!!"Ding—!With a crisp sound, the ring that had tormented Chris for so long seemed to lose all its magic. It slid off her sweaty finger, hit the dirt of the mine with a clatter, and turned back into an ordinary, ragged copper ring.The mine fell into a deathly silence once again, with only Haru's slightly heavy breathing and the sound of Chris's heartbeat, which seemed ready to jump out of her chest, audible.Chris remained frozen in that cute pose for a full three seconds.Afterwards, she let out a scream that could pierce through the mine. She shrank into a corner like a startled rabbit, wrapping herself tightly in her cloak, with only a pair of eyes that seemed ready to spit fire staring at Haru."Kill me! Haru! Use your magic to blast me into smithereens right now! If this memory remains in this world, I will suffer a divine essence collapse from the shame!!!"Haru silently picked up the ring that had lost its luster from the ground and sighed:"No, Chris. That scene just now, I will cherish it as a lifelong treasure in the deepest part of my memories. By the way, that 'meow' at the end was a stroke of genius.""You really are a scum, ahhhhh!!!"Looking at Chris, who was curled up in the corner of the mine like a little quail caught in the rain, the flame of mischief deep within Haru's heart—the spirit of Satou Kazuma—instantly burst into a raging wildfire.A goddess who was usually heroic and dashing, and even looked down upon the masses from the heavens (though she was a Thief girl now), had actually revealed such a shy posture in front of him that it could be recorded in the annals of Axel's dark history. If he didn't take this opportunity to bully her a little more, he would be doing himself a disservice!Haru deliberately let out a long, meaningful sigh and walked with slow, leisurely steps, gradually approaching the silver-haired figure who was currently wallowing in self-isolation."Oh my, Chris, why are you hiding from me? I saw that 'moe-moe chu' move clearly, you know. Especially the curve of your waist at the end, it was filled with... hmm, divine allure. To be honest, my head is filled with the sound of you calling me Master just now; I just can't get it out of my mind."As he spoke, Haru squatted in front of Chris and, with a mischievous glint in his eye, extended a finger to gently poke her shoulder, which was tightly wrapped in her cloak and still trembling slightly."Don't touch me! You scum mage! Stay away from me, meow! Ah... no! No meow! That was the curse! The curse was speaking, not me!!"Chris looked up abruptly, her pretty face so red it looked like it was about to bleed. Tears of shame and anger hung at the corners of her eyes, making her look just like a little kitten that had its tail stepped on but was powerless to resist."Oh? Is that so?"Haru revealed his signature, scum-filled, evil smile. He leaned into Chris's ear and whispered in a voice that only the two of them could hear:"But I recall that the ring only makes you speak your true feelings aloud; it didn't say it would make you lie, right? In other words... that wish to be intensely punished by me just now is actually your deepest, most true desire, isn't it?""Waaahhhh! No! Absolutely not! That's a misunderstanding! That is a huge misunderstanding!"Chris was so ashamed she was about to faint. She subconsciously waved her little fist to pound Haru's chest, but because her whole body was limp, the action looked more like some kind of coquettish act."Haru, you bad-hearted guy! I thought you were a reliable partner, but you... you actually bullied me like this! I'm going to report you to Goddess Eris! I'll have her deduct all the luck from your next life!""Go ahead, go ahead. Anyway, Goddess Eris is so gentle; maybe if she hears my request, she'll even descend to the mortal realm herself to perform a 'moe-moe chu' for me as compensation."Haru laughed even more happily. This feeling of bullying a goddess was even more satisfying than earning a hundred million eris.Watching Chris, who was angry and shy, wanting to escape but unable to move because her legs were weak, his mischievous side was greatly satisfied.He even wondered, if he used Steal on Chris now, would he Steal something even more interesting? For example... panties with cat-ear patterns?"Alright, I'll stop teasing you." Seeing that Chris was truly about to cry, Haru finally reined it in a little. He reached out, his tone becoming somewhat flippant yet gentle,"Come, Master... cough, I mean, let me carry you back. Looking at you like this, I doubt you can even make it out of the mine's entrance. As the price of admission for your wonderful performance just now, this manual transport is on the house.""Who wants you to carry them! You opportunist jerk!"Although Chris said that, when Haru's arms wrapped around the back of her knees and her back to lift her up, she only struggled symbolically twice before burying her burning face into the crook of Haru's neck, letting out a hum as quiet as a mosquito:"...It's a promise, okay? What happened just now, you are absolutely, absolutely forbidden to tell Kazuma, and you are not allowed to tell Senior Aqua... otherwise I will really die for you to see, meow.""Yes, yes, my cat-eared little assistant."Haru, holding the soft, goddess avatar, walked out of the mine, satisfied, as he stepped into the afterglow of the sunset.
Chapter 192: That Silver-Haired Underwear Collector Who Shook AxelThe setting sun dyed the streets of Axel a magnificent orange-red, and the bustling Adventurers at the city gate were gathering in groups to finish their work and return to the city.Haru carried Chris, who was still blushing furiously and playing dead while curled up in her cloak, and swaggered through the city gate, drawing quite a few side glances."Hey, Haru, we've entered the city, hurry up and put me down, meow... No! Hurry up and put me down!"Sensing the curious gazes cast around her, Chris's sense of shame exploded once again. She struggled and jumped out of Haru's arms. The moment her feet touched the ground, the Thief's astonishing recovery ability allowed her to quickly regain her balance.Although her body had recovered, the psychological trauma was clearly not so easy to erase.Chris stood by the street, glaring at Haru like a bristling kitten, her chest heaving violently."You scum! Pervert! Inferior Adventurer who takes advantage of others!" Chris pointed at Haru's nose, her voice still carrying a trace of lingering tears."You actually made me do that move... and, and held me for so long! This is absolutely a disgrace to my career!"Haru picked his ear with an indifferent expression:"Oh my, I wonder who was shouting 'Master, please punish me' in the mine just a moment ago. I'm the benefactor who risked his life to save you, you know. If you keep this attitude, Goddess Eris will cry.""Ugh...!" Chris was choked speechless. Her eyes turned fierce, and a self-abandoned, wicked smile curled at the corners of her mouth."Since you like bullying people so much, don't blame me for being rude! This is the Thief's etiquette, and also a punishment for your nasty personality!"She took a deep breath, swung her right hand forward violently, and a look of certainty flashed in her eyes:"Steal!!!"A white light flashed.In an instant, Chris's hand was holding a piece of fabric that felt soft and still had a hint of body heat."Hehe, watch me Steal your wallet, so you won't have money to spend tonight... Eh?"Chris's smug laughter came to an abrupt end. She lowered her head and looked at the loot in her hand.It was not a heavy money bag, nor was it any magical item, but rather... a pair of men's underwear made of pure cotton, with an extremely plain design, and even carrying some kind of indescribable scent.The air on the street seemed to freeze at that moment.Haru just felt a chill in his crotch; his originally well-fitting pants instantly became empty, and he could even feel the evening breeze passing freely inside.He looked down, then looked up at the object in Chris's hand that was shining in the setting sun, and his mouth twitched:"Um... Chris, although I know you were very invested in calling me 'Master' just now, isn't this progress a bit too fast? Publicly snatching a man's underwear on the street, are goddesses... *cough*, are Thieves these days so unrestrained?"Chris was stunned for a full two seconds. In her mind, the scene just now played back repeatedly: first the cat-girl 'meow meow', then shouting for the Master to punish her, and now, to actually... Stealthe other person's underwear with her own hands."Kyaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!"A scream capable of shattering the glass of all nearby houses rang out through the sky."Why! Why is it underwear! My Luck stat is clearly cheat-level! Why did I Steal something like this, aaaaah!"As if holding some highly toxic substance, Chrisviolently threw the underwear at Haru's face, her entire being falling into a state of total breakdown.She covered her face, turned around with tears streaming down her cheeks, and burst out with agility three times faster than during the fight just now, turning into a silver afterimage as she dashed into the depths of the street:"Haru, you big idiot! Pervert! scum! I never want to see you again, meow—!!!"Haru was quick-handed and caught the underwear flying at his face. Watching the figure disappear at the end of the sunset, and the looks from passersby—the kind that asked what this pervert had done to the beautiful girl—he sighed deeply."She was the one who stole it... And why did she still add 'meow' at the end."The morning sun shone on the streets of Axel. It should have been a day full of vitality, but for some people, this was simply a scene of public execution.Haru yawned as he walked into the Adventurers Guild. The moment he pushed open the door, he felt a wave of gossip a hundred times more frantic than usual rushing toward him.Almost all the Adventurers in the guild were gathered together, whispering to each other, with complex expressions on their faces that mixed terror, excitement, and a certain kind of perverted anticipation."Hey, hey, have you heard? A silver-haired underwear Thief appeared in the city last night!"A heavy armored warrior lowered his voice, but his volume was loud enough for the whole guild to hear,"It's said to be a silver-haired girl with extremely agile moves who specifically targets handsome Adventurers, and... and she doesn't want wallets, she only Steals people's underwear!""Really? That's too perverted! But... if it's a cute silver-haired girl, maybe getting stolen from isn't so bad? Though, just to be safe, I wore two pairs today."The Ranger next to him revealed a certain dangerous, longing expression."Idiot! The point is that last night, in front of everyone, the Thief threw the stolen loot directly onto the victim's face! That scene was absolutely the ultimate humiliation!"Haru silently pulled down the brim of his mage hat, trying to hide himself in the shadows.Just then, he keenly noticed that in the most remote and dimly lit corner of the guild, a figure draped in a large cloak, with their hood pulled as low as possible, was curled up under a table, their shoulders trembling slightly.That was Chris.Haru walked over with a wicked smile, sat down opposite her as if nothing had happened, and tapped on the table:"Yo, isn't this the silver-haired underwear collector who shook Axel? Scouting for your next target early in the morning?""Waaaaaah! Shut up! Shut up!" Chris raised her head violently as if electrocuted. Her beautiful eyes were bloodshot, and there were pathetic tear stains at the corners of her eyes,"Haru! You big devil! Why did this spread so fast! I clearly ran away as fast as I could last night!""Probably because your scream last night was just too piercing." Haru leisurely waved his hand to order a mug of ale,"Now the whole city is discussing your special hobby. Although everyone doesn't know it's you, your iconic silver hair... oh my, it's really dangerous.""I, I, that was an accident! It was a runaway [Steal] skill! I originally wanted to Steal your money bag so you wouldn't have money to go to the Succubus Shop tonight!"Chris lowered her voice, defending herself with a mix of shame and anger. Her originally heroic face was now as red as if it were dripping blood,"In the end... in the end, why did I Steal that kind of thing! My hand feel... no, I mean, my reputation is completely ruined! Now, whenever I close my eyes, my head is filled with the arc of that piece of fabric being thrown...""Relax, Chris." Haru leaned in a little closer, his tone filled with mischievous tenderness,"Anyway, except for me, no one knows the truth. As long as you don't say anything, and I don't say anything, you are still that cool Thief Chris. Of course, if you are willing to perform a 'meow meow' for me again, I might consider taking this secret to the grave.""You really should just go die once! Haru!!" Chriswas so embarrassed that she crawled directly under the table, letting out a self-abandoned wail,"Meow... Why does my luck always fail when I'm facing you... This must be a punishment from Goddess Eris because I actually thought you were a bit handsome yesterday... Waaaaah! What kind of truth did I just blurt out again!"Haru looked at the goddess's avatar curled up under the table, his mood joyful to the extreme.This feeling of holding the highest secret (dark history) of a deity was truly the best seasoning in this world.
Chapter 193: Discussing Beauties Over WineThe night grew deep, and the mansion in Axel was brightly lit.Haru pushed open the heavy door and saw Satou Kazuma sitting all alone on a rocking chair in front of the fireplace, swirling half a glass of cheap ale, his back exuding a thick sense of decadence that was enough to make a passing Slime feel depressed."Yo, Kazuma. Why aren't you at the Succubus Shopfilling out forms in the middle of the night, sitting here cosplaying The Thinker instead?"Haru walked over, pulled up a chair, and sat down, studying him with some curiosity.Kazuma slowly turned his head, his dead fish eyes filled with despair for this world. He let out a long sigh, his voice hoarse:"Haru... you're back. Have you heard? The legend of that silver-haired underwear thief. I originally thought that although this other world is full of people with holes in their brains, at least in the field of perversion, I, Satou Kazuma, could still maintain a shred of dignity... But what happened? Now there's actually a silver-haired female pervert who specializes in collecting men's underwear! And she does it openly in broad daylight!"At the height of his excitement, Kazuma gulped down a mouthful of ale and slapped his thigh indignantly:"This is so unfair! Why is it that when a girl does this, she's called a mysterious thief, but when I accidentally steal one pair of panties, I get thrown in jail? More importantly... this world is completely broken! Even a silver-haired girl who looks quiet is like this; there are absolutely, absolutely no normal girls in this other world! My harem dream has already withered away before it even began because the concentration of perverts is too high!"Haru looked at the grief-stricken and indignant Kazuma, and involuntarily, the image of Chrisshivering under the table, even unconsciously adding 'meow' to the end of her sentences, surfaced in his mind.He was silent for a moment, his expression becoming extremely subtle. As the only one in the know, he couldn't bear to tell Kazuma that the so-called silver-haired female pervert was actually Goddess Eris.To change the subject, and also to confirm the final bottom line of this party, Haru gave a light cough and asked tentatively:"Um, Kazuma, let's forget about that underwear thief for now. Since you think the world is hopeless, what do you think of the two in our party... hmm, Megumin and Darkness?"Upon hearing these two names, the despair in Kazuma's eyes died even more thoroughly. He put down his glass and spoke faintly in a tone of someone who had seen through the vanity of the world:"Megumin? That chuunibyou brat who feels uncomfortable if she doesn't blow something up every day, becomes useless the moment her mana runs dry, and needs me to carry her back? Other than having a cute face, she's basically just a self-propelled human cannonball! Who would treat a powder keg that could blow up their own house at any moment as a romantic interest!"He paused, his tone becoming even more terrified:"As for Darkness... Heh, that woman is even more hopeless. Have you ever seen a proper knight make that disgusting 'please ravage me' expression when surrounded by monsters? Her defense is indeed the best in the world, but her head is filled with delusions of being abused! Every time I see her in that state of heat, I even feel that I, scum Kazuma, seem as pure as a priest! Haru, tell me, surrounded by teammates like this, how am I supposed to maintain beautiful fantasies about women?"Haru fell into a long silence again.He looked at the desolate moonlight outside the window, then at Kazuma, who had already begun to give up on himself, and sincerely felt that the future of this party was indeed pitch black—although this blackness was accompanied by a bit of explosive fire and the moans of a masochist.The fire in the fireplace flickered, and Haru looked at Kazuma, a trace of pity involuntarily welling up in his heart.Of course, more of it was the pleasure of wanting to watch the show.Haru shifted to a more comfortable position, tapped his fingers lightly on his knees, and threw out two more names:"Alright, those two are indeed a bit... too unique. Then, what about Yunyun and Wiz? The two of them should count as normal people, right? Although Yunyun is a bit lonely, her personality is very serious, and her strength is very strong; although Wiz is a Lich, she is gentle and beautiful, and her way of treating people is simply a model. Isn't this the normal woman you idealize?"Upon hearing these two names, the dead, silent look in Kazuma's eyes fluctuated slightly, but then immediately turned into an even longer, heavier sigh."Yunyun..."Kazuma drank the remaining ale in his glass in one gulp, his tone carrying an inexplicable pity,"That girl is indeed a good girl; not only is she ten times more developed than Megumin, but her personality is also tear-jerkingly gentle. But, Haru, haven't you noticed? That girl is shrouded in an aura of loneliness that is even more terrifying than a curse! Every time I see her alone in the park talking to stone statues, or making that expression of being so humble it's in the dirt just to make friends, I don't feel heart-fluttered at all; instead, I'm reminded of my past self who had no friends, and then I feel waves of stomach pain... That is the sorrow of sharing the same illness, not love!"He covered his face in pain, his voice becoming even more desperate:"As for Wiz... That's right, Wiz is indeed beautiful, and her personality is as gentle as a saint. But! Haru! Look at her shop! That's not a magic item shop; that's an eris coin shredder! That woman has absolutely no business sense; she buys nothing but junk like potions that make you grow cat whiskers or brooms that explode automatically! If I were with her, even if I were the richest person in the world, the next day I'd be out on the street gnawing on Cabbage to pay off her debts! And she's a Lich; although she looks soft, she's essentially a cold dead person, right? This kind of love that burns money and is freezing cold, my fragile little heart really can't take it!"Kazuma stood up abruptly, spread his arms, and issued a soul-searching question to the ceiling:"Why! Why are the top-tier beauties of this world all defective products with absolutely incompatible attributes! Either their heads are broken, their personalities are broken, or their wallets are broken! And now there's even a silver-haired female pervert addicted to stealing panties! Haru, tell me, is this other world targeting me? Did that idiot Goddess Aqua trade all my romantic luck for booze money when I was reincarnated?!"Haru watched Kazuma, who had fallen into a mode of crazy ranting, and couldn't help but let the corners of his mouth lift slightly.He really wanted to tell Kazuma that, actually, when that underwear thief wasn't stealing underwear, she really was the perfect, cool, and charming female role model in his mind.Unfortunately, she was currently hiding in some corner, planning to descend and destroy the world out of shame.
Chapter 194: She Should Be Making Offerings to Me!The firewood in the fireplace crackled, as if protesting against this heavy conversation.Haru watched Kazuma, who had almost curled into a ball, holding back his laughter as he decided to deliver the final, most lethal blow.He deliberately lowered his voice, speaking with a tone of someone enjoying the chaos, and said slowly:"So, Kazuma, since you've dismissed every woman in this world... what about Aqua? Although she is indeed noisy and not very bright, her face and figure are genuine goddess-tier, right? As the guide who first brought you here, haven't you felt even a tiny bit of... feelings beyond just being partners?"The air seemed to freeze in that instant.Kazuma's arms, which had been waving around, stiffened in mid-air. He slowly, inch by inch, turned his head and stared at Haru with the look one might give a monster.There was no love or hate in that gaze, only a bottomless, black-hole-like emptiness."Aqua?"Kazuma repeated the name, his voice so flat it was frightening.The next second, he jumped up, grabbed Haru by the collar with both hands, shook him frantically, and let out a heart-wrenching roar:"Haru! Has your brain been eaten by a Slime?! Or has your definition of a woman become so broad that you can even accept that gold-devouring beast in human skin?! That girl Aqua... she's not a woman at all; she's a natural disaster! She's a walking debt! She's a parasite that only knows how to turn my savings into booze and expensive feed!"Kazuma let go, slumped back into his chair, covered his face with his hands, and let out a groan of near despair:"It's true, she's beautiful, and her figure is impeccable. Sometimes, when she cries and begs me, she's even quite endearing. But! Just thinking about how she can casually sign a debt of tens of millions just to buy a bottle of expensive wine; thinking about how she can flood the whole house just to perform that useless Natures Beauty; thinking about how, even though she's a goddess, she messes up the simplest tasks and I have to kneel on the ground to clean up her mess..."He raised his head, his eyes filled with philosophical weariness:"Haru, do you know that feeling? It's like owning a husky that looks incredibly gorgeous, eats top-grade Wagyu beef every day, and tears up the house at every opportunity. Would you feel romantic love for it? No, you'd just want to send it to a shelter! I'd rather duel that silver-haired panty thief, I'd rather be trampled and abused by a pervert like Darkness, but I would absolutely, definitely never develop any worldly desires for that idiot goddess! That would be an insult to the very word 'love'!"Kazuma collapsed back into the rocking chair, staring blankly at the ceiling:"If there's anything in this world that could make me reach enlightenment instantly, it's Aqua. She taught me that beauty is worthless in the face of extreme stupidity. Now, whenever I see her blue hair, my wallet starts to ache, and my blood pressure skyrockets... You call this feeling of a racing heart love? No, that's the precursor to a myocardial infarction!"Haru watched the completely broken Kazuma and couldn't help but laugh heartily.Indeed, for Kazuma, Aqua's existence had transcended the category of gender, becoming an abstract concept known as 'trouble.'The next morning, sunlight streamed through the mansion's large floor-to-ceiling windows onto the dining table. What should have been a leisurely time enjoying red wine and high-end bread was broken by Darkness's serious expression.This Crusader, who was usually immersed in masochistic fantasies, was now dressed neatly, her armor polished to a shine, and even her eyes lacked their usual murky flush."Everyone, I have an important announcement to make." Darkness pressed her hands against the table, took a deep breath, and spoke in the solemn tone characteristic of royalty,"Because of our recent... outstanding performance in defeating Demon Kings Army Generals and resolving various large-scale quests, the capital has taken notice of this peculiar party in Axel. Just now, I received a message from my family. In a few days, Her Royal Highness, Princess Alice of Belzerg Stylish Sword, will personally come to Axel to grant us an audience."The air went instantly quiet.The bread Haru was about to put in his mouth froze, and the fork in Kazuma's hand, which was about to steal Aqua's ham, also stopped mid-air.Their movements were uncannily synchronized. They slowly turned their heads and exchanged a glance. The flames of their souls, which had been extinguished in their dead fish eyes, ignited with the speed of an atomic explosion."Pr-Princess?!" Kazuma slammed the table and stood up, his voice becoming sharp due to excessive excitement,"Is it that legendary Princess Alice, who possesses royal blood, has golden hair and blue eyes, and is as cute as an angel? The highest-tier beautiful girl of this other world who is also rumored to be a young loli?!"Haru also put down his bread, adjusted his non-existent glasses, and his eyes flashed with wise (scum) brilliance:"I see, has this day finally come? In this world filled with a useless goddess, a chuunibyou loli, a masochistic Crusader, and a panty thief, is a truly healing character finally about to descend? Kazuma, I feel like our spring is coming.""Exactly! This is the treatment an otherworld reincarnator deserves!" Kazuma shed tears of emotion,"To hell with Aqua, to hell with the panty thief; before Her Royal Highness the Princess, they are all nothing but clouds! I'm going to take a bath! I'm going to buy the most expensive formal wear! I'm going to use the scum charm I've accumulated over sixteen years to conquer... no, to protect Her Royal Highness's smile!""Hey! What kind of rude things are you two thinking about!" Darkness watched these two men lost in their delusions and couldn't help but shout, her cheeks slightly flushed with shame,"She is the kingdom's treasure! Princess Alice is not only clever and sensible but also deeply loved by the people. I'm warning you, you must, absolutely must maintain proper etiquette during the audience! If you dare to show Her Royal Highness that lecherous expression, or say something like 'please let me be your dog'... you will be executed on the spot, and even your souls will be banished!""Executed?" Kazuma paused for a moment, then revealed an extremely punchable smile,"Darkness, are you jealous of the Princess's cuteness? Don't worry, if it's for little sister Alice, even if I'm executed, I, Satou Kazuma, will walk to the guillotine with a smile—of course, provided that Her Royal Highness personally puts the shackles on me.""Ugh... You, you bastard..." Darkness was stunned by Kazuma's shamelessness, and then her body began to tremble slightly, her eyes gradually becoming unfocused,"During the solemn royal audience, being implicated by a companion's perverted behavior, being roughly pinned to the ground by guards, and being dragged out for execution under Her Royal Highness's disdainful gaze... This, this sense of shame from a public execution... ah... it actually seems... not bad...""See, even Darkness thinks it's not bad." Harushrugged and turned to look at Aqua, who was struggling to stuff a wine bottle into her arms,"Hey, Aqua, what about you? The Princess is coming; as a goddess, shouldn't you at least try to act a bit dignified?"Aqua raised her head and said, as if it were a matter of course:"Huh? A princess? Why should I care about some little girl? Compared to that, Haru, since the Princess is coming, the hosting fees must be paid by the royal family, right? So can I take this opportunity to request a bottle of Ragnarok worth ten million erisas a welcome gift? After all, I am a goddess; she should be making offerings to me!"
Chapter 195: Her Royal Highness the PrincessIn the quiet backyard of the mansion, on a morning that should have been filled with birdsong and fragrant flowers, there now hung a bizarre atmosphere heavy enough to make passing birds crash on the spot."No! Haru, your eyes aren't quite right. You need to mix a hint of madness into that melancholy!"Satou Kazuma instructed with a serious expression. At that moment, he was leaning sideways against a crooked tree, his right hand covering half his face, his left hand shoved into his pocket in an incredibly unnatural way, and his lower body twisted into an arc that would severely test anyone's ligaments."Listen up. A noble young lady like Princess Alice, who rarely leaves the palace, has seen enough of those obsequious nobles. We need to project a sense of rebellion—someone who, though amidst the dust, possesses a soul beyond reach! Watch closely; this is the 'Reincarnated Person's Cold Backward Glance' that I've spent years perfecting!"With that, Kazuma jerked his head around, attempting to achieve that cool, hair-flowing-in-the-wind look. However, because he used too much force, his neck let out a distinct crack, and his face instantly twisted into an indescribable expression of agony. Combined with his still-contorted posture, he looked like a second-degree invalid attempting to molest a tree.Haru sighed. Although he felt embarrassed, he had to bite the bullet and cooperate in order to leave a good impression in front of the princess.He mimicked Kazuma, bracing one hand against the wall, and tried to flash an evil, charming smile:"Is this it? Heh, woman, you've caught my attention—is that the feeling?""Yes, yes, yes! That's the feeling! Pull the corners of your mouth up a bit more! Make your eyes look more vacant... no, wait, make them deeper!"Kazuma endured the sharp pain in his neck and gestured excitedly,"Good! Next, we'll practice casual tenderness! Imagine Princess Alice accidentally trips. We don't go to help her up; instead, we look at her with this gaze, and then elegantly extend a hand..."Just as these two idiots were practicing various high-difficulty and extremely lewd movements against thin air, Miss Luna, the guild receptionist carrying a basket of administrative documents, happened to pass by the perimeter of the mansion.She had originally intended to confirm the procedures for the audience ceremony, but when she looked up, she saw this scene through the fence:Two grown men, in broad daylight—one hugging a tree with a painful, ferocious grin, and the other constantly raising his eyebrows and wiping his mouth at thin air, his hands grasping at empty space while muttering words like "princess," "hand," and "hehehe."Miss Luna's face instantly turned bluer than Aqua's hair.With trembling hands, she pulled out a special emergency contact magic item from her bosom, her voice filled with panic, bordering on tears:"H-hello... Is this the Guard Corps? Yes, the same mansion... Mr. Satou Kazuma and Mr. Lin Jin's condition has worsened... No, they aren't just mere perverts anymore; they are performing some kind of extremely blasphemous crime rehearsal against thin air! Please, send more people immediately! You must lock these two dangerous individuals up before Princess Alice arrives!!""W-wait! Miss Miss Luna! This is a misunderstanding! We're practicing etiquette!"Hearing the whistle, Kazuma panicked and tried to explain, but because he moved too quickly, his already sprained neck let out a scream, and he collapsed onto the ground in an incredibly lewd posture, coincidentally grabbing hold of Haru's ankle.From Miss Luna's perspective, this was clearly a case of infighting between perverts caused by an uneven split of spoils.Just as the Guard Corps were handcuffing the two, a luxurious carriage pulled up to the gate, and Princess Alice curiously lifted the curtain:"Excuse me... Is this the home of the legendary heroes?"The air froze completely in that instant.It was a pitch-black carriage, decorated with exquisite gold trim and the royal emblem of Belzerg.As the curtain was gently lifted by a fair, slender hand, a face that looked like it had stepped out of a mythological scroll—youthful yet exuding an aura of nobility—appeared in everyone's view.Her golden hair shimmered with a soft luster in the sunlight, and those large, clear eyes, like sapphires, were staring unblinkingly at the chaotic scene before her.The scene at that moment was as follows:The Guard Corps were roughly pinning Haru and Satou Kazuma to the ground, both of their hands secured with special anti-magic handcuffs.Because of his neck injury, Kazuma's entire face was pressed into the dirt with an incredibly twisted and lewd expression, while Haru, unable to drop the evil, charming smile he had been practicing just moments ago, looked like an accomplice feeling proud of his own perverted actions."Excuse me... Is this the home of the legendary heroes who defeated many Demon Kings Army Generals and are the strongest in Axel?"Princess Alice's voice was crisp and melodious, carrying a hint of uncertain doubt, along with a pure and beautiful longing for the word "hero."The entire scene fell into a deathly silence.Guard A looked at the handcuffs in his hand, then at the princess in the carriage, his once majestic demeanor instantly becoming incredibly stiff.Miss Luna stood to the side with her mouth wide open, her documents scattered all over the ground, as the tragic ending of the Axel Adventurers Guildbeing shut down for introducing perverts to the royal family already played out in her mind."...Gah." Kazuma squeezed a meaningless monosyllable from his throat.He screamed frantically in his mind:"No! It's not like that! Little Alice! This isn't a scene you should be seeing! I was just practicing etiquette to welcome you! That lewd posture is actually some kind of ancient tribute ceremony! Please believe me!!"Haru closed his eyes and took a deep breath.At this moment, he felt an unprecedented, peaceful sense of social death."Ah, well... Your Royal Highness the Princess."Guard A, sweating profusely, released his hand from Kazuma and awkwardly forced an explanation,"These two are... we are conducting... er, a field exercise against perverted intruders! That's right! To ensure the safety of Her Royal Highness the Princess, these two heroes are personally role-playing as perverted thieves to test our reaction speed! As expected of heroes, their acting is truly too realistic; even we were fooled, haha... ha...""An exercise?"Princess Alice tilted her head, revealing a pure and innocent smile, the look of admiration in her eyes actually growing even more intense."So that's it! To ensure my safety, you would go so far as to ruin your own images to play such... disgusting roles? You two hero lords, you are truly magnificent!"Hearing the word "disgusting," it was as if an arrow had pierced Kazuma's heart, but he still forced himself to hold up his sprained neck and revealed a smile that was uglier than crying:"Y-yes, that's right... For Her Royal Highness the Princess, mere dignity... is nothing at all..."Haru could only stiffly nod in agreement:"...Yes, Your Royal Highness the Princess. We have been practicing for a long time to welcome you."Just then, Darkness finally rushed out of the mansion. Seeing the two handcuffed men and the princess in the carriage, she was stunned at first, but the moment she understood the situation, her cheeks flushed bright red at a visible rate, and her breathing became rapid."Being arrested in the act in front of Her Royal Highness the Princess... this, this kind of highest-level humiliation...! Why! Why didn't you include me in such a good thing!! I want to do the exercise too! Please, you must put handcuffs on me as well!!"Princess Alice looked at Darkness, who had suddenly rushed out and let out such strange shouts, and the smile on her face stiffened slightly
Chapter 196: Expressing Oneself EnergeticallyIn the spacious living room of the mansion, the firelight from the fireplace reflected off the expensive mahogany furniture, yet the atmosphere here was more suffocating than the ice cellar of the Demon Kings Castle.Princess Alice sat upright in the center of the sofa, her hands folded on her lap. Her golden hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she radiated a holy brilliance that instantly elevated this mansion of losers.Sitting opposite her was Satou Kazuma, who had just had his handcuffs removed and was desperately trying to salvage his heroic image."Ahem, um, Princess Alice."Kazuma deliberately lowered his voice, trying to imitate the magnetic tone of a tough-guy Adventurer who had wandered on the edge of life and death countless times."Forgive me for the embarrassing display just now. Actually, as the last line of defense guarding Axel, we perform this kind of psychological stress training simulating real crimes every day. My wretched appearance just now was actually a 'flaw' I intentionally revealed to temper my willpower..."As he spoke, he tried to fix his gaze on the princess with the profound look of a mature man.However, due to the severe neck strain caused by practicing head-shaking earlier, his head was still tilted to the left at an eerily awkward 45-degree angle.In order to see the princess sitting directly in front of him, he had to desperately slant his eyeballs toward the corner of his right eye.Thus, from Princess Alice's perspective, this legendary great hero was tilting his neck, revealing an extremely twisted and sinister side-eye grin as if he were peeping at something indescribable, while his mouth twitched from time to time due to pain."Um... Kazuma-sama."Princess Alice shrank her shoulders a little, feeling somewhat uneasy, her hands unconsciously gripping her skirt, her voice tinged with innocent concern."Are your eyes... alright? Were you hurt by those people from the Guard Corps during the exercise earlier? I get the feeling your gaze is... filled with a kind of obsession I can't quite understand.""Ob-obsession? Haha, that is a longing for justice, Princess Alice!"Kazuma broke into a cold sweat. He wanted to straighten his head, but as soon as he moved, his neck let out a crisp creaking sound, hurting so much he almost ascended on the spot.Haru sat to the side, calmly drinking the tea Aquahad just served (which had already been purified into plain water), and said while suppressing his laughter:"Please do not mind, Princess Alice. Kazuma is demonstrating a high-end technique called Omnidirectional Vigilance. Although it looks like he is leering, in reality, his peripheral vision is scanning every blind spot in the living room to prevent an assassin from launching a surprise attack. This technique requires a lot from the cervical spine; an average person cannot learn it.""S-so that is how it is?!"Princess Alice's eyes lit up again, and she exclaimed with a face full of admiration,"As expected of the hero who defeated the Dullahan and the Destroyer! Are you even performing such high-difficulty defensive training while sitting and drinking tea? The outside world is indeed filled with all sorts of profound knowledge!""Hey! Haru! Stop making snide remarks over there! Hurry up and cast a healing spell on me!" Kazumasqueezed out a distress signal through his teeth while the princess was looking down to drink tea.Just then, Aqua, who had been hiding behind the folding screen watching, could finally hold back no longer and rushed out.She held a thick stack of bills in her hand, wearing that standard goddess-style business smile:"Oh my! Is this the cute Princess Alice? Nice to meet you, I am the soul of this party, and the great goddess Aqua who guides these losers forward! Since Princess Alice admires heroes so much, surely you would be willing to pay a small sponsorship fee for the miscellaneous expenses, alcohol expenses, and brain repair costs incurred by the heroes while upholding justice during this time? It is not much, just 50 million eris will do!"The whole room fell into silence once again.Darkness let out a painful groan from the side, suddenly covering her face: "Wuwu, please, by all means, have the guards lock me in the darkest, dampest dungeon!"The air in the living room seemed to be sucked dry in that instant.Kazuma's eyeball, which had originally been slanted to the right, suddenly snapped back to the center because of Aqua's earth-shattering declaration of a 50 million sponsorship fee. Accompanied by a crisp click, his cervical spine miraculously reset itself in extreme shock."Aqua!! You blue single-celled organism with nothing but alcohol and money in your brain! Hurry up and get back to your stable!!"Kazuma disregarded the lingering pain in his neck and jumped up suddenly, locking Aqua in a chokehold from behind like a wrestler, attempting to drag this goddess, who was beaming a greedy smile at the princess, into the back room."Let go of me! You shut-in Kazuma! This is royalty! It is a walking mountain of eris coins! As long as this deal goes through, I can not only pay off my debts but also buy that barrel of fifty-year-aged Tears of the High Priest! Let go of me—!!"Aqua struggled frantically like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, even attempting to counterattack with a water jet from [Natures Beauty].Princess Alice watched the scene before her blankly:The legendary great hero was rolling on the expensive mahogany floor with the legendary goddess, one desperately applying a chokehold, the other desperately spraying water; the scene was at one point more chaotic than a group of aunties in a wet market scrambling for discounted eggs.However, contrary to everyone's expectations, Princess Alice did not show an expression of disgust or horror.On the contrary, a light of novelty, something she had never felt before, gradually emerged in her sapphire-like eyes."Hehe... hehehe..."The princess covered her mouth and let out a crisp, silver-bell-like laugh."How interesting... In the royal capital, no one has ever dared to express themselves so... so energetically in front of me. Everyone is like a programmed wind-up doll, only capable of speaking polite phrases."She stood up, lifted her skirt, and bowed elegantly, her eyes filled with a longing for the unknown world:"Kazuma-sama, Haru-sama, and this... very unique goddess-sama. Actually, besides representing the royal family to offer condolences to the heroes, I have a small personal wish for coming to Axel this time."Princess Alice stepped forward, her expression so serious that one could not refuse,"I have always lived deep within the palace, seeing only gorgeous murals and cold rules. So, could you please take me out of this mansion to see the real life of commoner Adventurers? I want to see the places where you fight, I want to see the taverns where you drink, I want to see... this world that has made you all so special!""Eh?!"Kazuma and Aqua, who were wrestling on the floor, exclaimed in unison.Darkness suddenly raised her head, her face pale:"P-Princess Alice! This is too dangerous! The streets outside are filled with rude Adventurers, and there are Cabbage remains everywhere, and even perverts like these two guys Lurking in the dark! If you were to be gawked at by those men reeking of sweat, or required to subjugate that kind of Slimethat sprays Slime... Wuu... the humiliation of being stared at by commoners with lewd eyes... Ah, no! I mean, this is absolutely not in line with the dignity of the royal family!"Haru put down the plain water in his hand, looked at the princess's sparkling eyes, and smiled helplessly:"Since Princess Alice has said so, if we refused, wouldn't it make us heroes seem too petty? However, Princess Alice, the life of commoners is not as beautiful as you imagine; it is filled with the stench of sweat, cheap wort, and brawls that can happen at any time.""It is fine!" Princess Alice clenched her little fists excitedly, "As long as I am with you heroes, it will definitely be fine!"Kazuma wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, his eyes gradually becoming scum-like:"Hehe, in that case, Haru, let's take Princess Alice to experience the essence of Axel. First, let's start with that Adventurers Guild tavern filled with dreams and hot-bloodedness, how about it?"
Chapter 197: Protect This Innocent PrincessIn the spacious living room of the mansion, Princess Alice's words, "I want to see the world that has made you all so special," still echoed in the air, causing Kazuma and Aqua's squabble to grind to a halt."However, since I am experiencing the life of a commoner..."Princess Alice's gaze swept over everyone, finally resting on Haru and Kazuma with a hint of mischievous amusement, "Then my identity must also be hidden. If I continue to appear as a princess, everyone will be unable to relax, and I won't be able to truly experience the daily life of a common Adventurer. Therefore, please address me as... Alice. Just an ordinary Adventurer, Alice!"Upon hearing this, Kazuma's neck, which had just been realigned, nearly went crooked again.His original plan was to let the princess witness the chaos of Axel, so that she would obediently return to the royal palace, and incidentally, be moved to tears of gratitude for the great Kazuma who saved her. But now, the princess actually wants to go incognito?!"Princess... no, Miss Alice." Haru tried hard to suppress a laugh, "Your golden hair and this gorgeous attire don't really look like that of an ordinary Adventurer.""Hmm, I have also considered that." Princess Alicenodded readily, "So, I need a set of... well, a set of clothes that will let me blend into the Adventurertown. Preferably something where, at a glance, one would think, 'Ah, this is definitely the outfit of an ordinary, unremarkable Adventurer!'""Ordinary... unremarkable Adventurer..." Kazumamuttered to himself, his mind conjuring up the image of the shabby tracksuit he wore when he first reincarnated.He suddenly felt that this might be another opportunity! As long as he dressed the princess as dowdy and inconspicuous as possible, she would think the outside world was terrible, and then..."No problem! Leave it to me!" Kazuma dashed in front of Darkness, "Darkness! Don't you often wear that tattered, patch-filled armor? Do you have anything that fits the princess's size? Also, find something that can cover her golden hair... hmm, that kind of cloak that looks like it was picked up from a dumpster!""Kazuma! You've gone too far!" Darkness stomped her foot in shame and anger, "My armor looks that way because I've fought bravely on the battlefield, stained with the blood and mud of monsters, making it... making it look historical! Besides, how could the Princess wear such a thing! This is simply a desecration of the royal family!""What desecration! This is called an immersive experience! Do you understand!" Kazuma wouldn't let it go, "Haru! You judge! Isn't it better the more inconspicuous it is?"Haru looked at the princess's expectant eyes, then at Kazuma's scum-like grin, and decided to fan the flames: "Kazuma has a point. Your Highness, for your safety and to avoid unnecessary attention, being plain is indeed the best choice. However, we should be able to find some suitable clothing in our mansion; it doesn't need to be something picked up from a dumpster."Ultimately, with Darkness on the verge of a breakdown and Aqua's laissez-faire attitude—as long as the princess paid, she didn't care—Haru and Kazuma worked together to dig out a set of dark-colored cloaks that looked a bit old but were still clean from the mansion's storage room, along with a wide-brimmed hat that could completely cover Alice's golden hair."Wow! How amazing!" After changing into her new outfit, Princess Alice looked left and right in the mirror. Although the cloak was slightly loose, it perfectly wrapped her petite frame, and the wide-brimmed hat covered her iconic golden hair, making her look like an ordinary traveler with a touch of mystery, "In this way, no one will recognize me, right? It feels like... stepping into another world!"Kazuma looked at the refreshed Alice before him, his inner scum soul burning brightly: Great! This way no one will be able to discover she is a princess! Once she witnesses the bottom limits of Axel, she will definitely follow the advice of me, her guide, implicitly! Hehehe..."Then, Miss Alice." Haru glanced at the bright sunshine outside the window, "Are you ready? The life of an ordinary Adventurer in Axel is going to be... much more exciting than you imagine.""Yes!" Princess Alice responded energetically, her eyes filled with longing for the unknown journey.The mansion's front door slowly opened, and the sounds of Axel's bustling streets surged in instantly, forming a sharp contrast with the warmth inside just moments ago.Princess Alice, now Miss Alice, curiously looked at everything before her, those large eyes beneath her hood shimmering with pure light."Let's go, Miss Alice! We'll start with the Adventurers Guild; it's the liveliest place in Axel, filled with all sorts of legends and... surprises!"Kazuma walked up attentively, almost half-bowing, and extended a hand in a gesture of invitation. He wore that standard "I am a good person" professional smile on his face, but Haru always felt that there was a hint of indescribable... sleaziness hidden in that smile.Haru glanced at Kazuma; that guy's eyes were exactly like a hungry wolf that had set its sights on a plump lamb.Although he claimed he wanted to let Aliceexperience the essence of Axel, Haru didn't believe for a second that this scum good-for-nothing would really just be taking the princess on a simple tour. His heart, sharpened by the other world, was probably already calculating how to use the princess's innocence to achieve some ulterior motive."This guy Kazuma... he isn't actually a lolicon, is he?" Haru muttered to himself, subconsciously taking half a step forward, closing the distance between himself and Alice, forming a subtle protective stance.He did not want this innocent Princess to be led astray by Kazuma, this perverted team leader, at the very first stop of her commoner life experience."Lord Haru, is something wrong?" Miss Alice felt Haru's approach and asked with some confusion, "Did you spot some danger?""No, it's nothing, just thinking that with people coming and going on the streets of Axel, Miss Aliceneeds to be careful not to get separated." Haruresponded calmly, while simultaneously giving Kazuma a calm but stern glare.Receiving Haru's death glare, Kazuma sheepishly withdrew his extended hand, muttering, "Tch, what a busybody... I was just trying to be a gentleman."The group walked along the streets of Axel, the air filled with the mixed scent of roasted meat, ale, and earth.Street vendors loudly peddled strange and bizarre monster materials, Adventurers chatted and laughed in groups of three or five at the tavern entrances, and occasionally, one could see a few guys who were dead drunk lying by the roadside."Wow, so lively!" Miss Alice looked around excitedly; she had never seen such a vivid scene, "So this is an Adventurer town! It's completely different from the Royal Capital!""Of course! This is Axel, the freest and most vibrant town in the entire world!" Kazuma puffed out his chest proudly, trying to show off his sense of ownership in front of the princess, "However, Miss Alice, this place is also a mixed bag, with all kinds of people. So, you must stick close to me and don't wander off!""Yes! I understand!" Miss Alice nodded obediently, completely unaware of the strange ulterior motive hidden in Kazuma's "stick close to me."Haru looked at Kazuma's "I am the most reliable" expression, and already began to worry about Princess Alice's future.He decided that, no matter what, he would protect this innocent Princess and not let her be corrupted by the peculiarities of this world.
Chapter 198: The Unique Culture of Admitting Faults in AxelPushing open the heavy oak door of the Adventurers Guild, a wave of heat mixed with the smell of cheap ale, roasted Giant Toad meat, sweat, and some indescribable, uniquely Adventurer-like pheromones rushed to greet us.The spacious hall was bustling with noise. At a table on the left, a few drunken warriors were arm-wrestling, while in the corner on the right, a few Thieves were bragging about their exploits from the previous night. Right in the center, two mages, fighting over the last piece of fried chicken, had already started chanting Basic Magic."Waaah..."Princess Alice, wrapped in a large cloak, let out a heartfelt exclamation.Her large sapphire eyes, hidden beneath the brim of her hood, shimmered with unprecedented brilliance, as if what lay before her were not a group of crude drunkards, but some rare, dreamlike creatures.For someone who had always lived in the royal palace, where rules were strict and even speaking loudly would result in a scolding from the court ladies, this place was simply the most incredible otherworld."Is this the sacred place where commoner Adventurers exchange information and forge bonds of life and death? It's... it's so full of vitality!""Ahem, that's right! Alice... er, Alice." Kazumacoughed twice, forcing himself to look calm, trying hard to appear like a battle-hardened veteran of the guild. "Although it looks a bit chaotic here, everyone is a hot-blooded hero. As long as I, the premier Adventurer of Axel, am here, absolutely no one dares to..."Before Kazuma could finish his sentence, a voice reeking of strong alcohol and filled with frivolous laughter cut in from the side."Yo! Isn't this Kazuma and Haru? I heard you two recently struck it rich again? What's the matter, finally willing to come to the guild and treat everyone today?"The person who arrived was none other than Axel's infamous delinquent Adventurer—Dust.He was holding a large mug of frothy ale, his collar wide open, wearing that standard, roguish grin of someone who had spent years hanging around the streets.He swayed as he walked over, his gaze naturally passing over the stiff Kazuma and landing on Alice, who was being protected between the two."Oh? And who is this little girl wrapped in a cloak?"Dust raised an eyebrow and leaned forward slightly, trying to see the face under the cloak, his tone filled with undisguised frivolity."Although she's covered up tight, that petite figure, and this fair, delicate chin... Hehe, she looks like a top-tier cutie! Hey, Kazuma, where did you kidnap this innocent little girl from? Why don't you introduce her to yours truly?"Time seemed to freeze at that moment.A hundred cruel royal execution methods flashed through Haru's mind instantly, from the guillotine to being torn apart by horses, to being thrown into an acid pool filled with Slimes.If that loose-lipped guy, Dust, were to say something outrageous in front of the Princess, like 'want to go for a drink with big brother' or 'big brother will teach you about adult adventures'...Axel might be physically erased from the kingdom's map by tomorrow."Death penalty!!!"Kazuma let out a deafening scream in his heart; his extreme survival instinct, honed by the otherworld, erupted at this moment with speed that transcended human limits."Whoosh!"Almost at the same instant, Haru and Kazuma, like two cheetahs protecting their young, lunged at Dustfrom the left and right."Mmph!!!"Dust hadn't even realized what was happening before he felt his neck being tightly choked by Kazuma, while his mouth was sealed airtight by one of Haru's large hands.The ale in his hand dropped to the floor with a splat, and he was pushed backward repeatedly by these two suddenly crazed guys, crashing directly into a supporting pillar."Mmmph! Let go... mmmph!" Dust struggled desperately, his eyes wide, completely unable to understand why these two drinking buddies, who usually drank with him, were suddenly trying to assassinate him."Hahahaha! Dust! You're still as enthusiastic as ever!"Haru, while keeping his mouth firmly covered, turned his head to Alice and flashed a bright, sunny, but sweat-covered smile."Alice! This is a unique way of greeting among Adventurers in Axel! It's called... it's called the Silent Chokehold Hug! It represents the deep friendship between us that needs no words!""Right, right, right!" Kazuma gritted his teeth and increased the force of his grip, choking Dust until he rolled his eyes."This guy is named Dust, and he's a famous... er, hospitable guy! He was actually just trying to ask if you've eaten! He was so excited that his tongue got tied! We're just helping him with some physical correction!"Princess Alice stood in place, cupping her cheeks with her hands, and let out an exclamation of awe, not fully understanding why but feeling impressed:"Wow! So that's how it is! The way commoners express friendship is truly full of wildness and power! In the capital, everyone just bows to each other; there's never this... this suffocating bond!""Mmmph..." Dust let out a faint, mournful cry."Behave yourself, you thug with a head full of lewd trash!"Kazuma growled in a low voice, grabbing an empty ale barrel lid and pressing it against Dust's chest.Haru slowly released his hand from covering Dust's mouth, but his fingertips still lingered with a faint aura of threat."Haaah! Haaah... are you two bastards trying to rob me and kill me?!"Dust finally regained the right to breathe, coughing violently while clutching his neck, his eyes full of terror and anger."Isn't it just a cute little girl? I just wanted to say hello, is it necessary to go for the kill like this?!"Haru took a deep breath, his face showing an expression more composed than usual, even with a hint of pity.He leaned down slowly and whispered in a very low voice into Dust's ear:"Dust, for the sake of the times we've drunk together, I'll save you one last time. Do you know who that child is?""Who, who is it? Could it be some wealthy heiress from somewhere?"Dust shrank his neck."A wealthy heiress?" Kazuma, standing to the side, revealed a sinister smile, his acting skills maxed out."Let me tell you, that is the illegitimate daughter of a super big shot, someone even the Demon Kings Army would avoid, who could make Axel disappear from the map with a wave of their hand!""An illegitimate daughter?!" Dust's eyeballs almost popped out."Exactly." Haru added with feigned seriousness, his eyes cold."That person dotes on her greatly, and to let her experience life, specifically entrusted us, these legendary heroes, to protect her. If you had finished that harassing remark just now, within a radius of five hundred miles, even a male mosquito would be skinned and hung on the city walls tomorrow. Do you think your dignity as a man can withstand that person's rage?"Dust's face instantly turned from flushed red to pale white, and finally to a color resembling ash.His brain, which wasn't very sharp to begin with, was now filled with terrifying images of various royal executions and dark magic curses."I, I, I..." Dust's legs went weak, and he actually scrambled back to Alice, and with a dull thud, an extremely standard dogeza, one that even made the floor tremble slightly, appeared before everyone."My deepest apologies!! This... this noble young lady!! Just now, I was blind and failed to recognize your greatness, daring to offend you with such filthy words! Please, by all means, treat me like a pile of excrement and ignore me! If that's not enough to vent your anger, please trample on me! Whether it's stomping or whipping, I have no complaints!!"Princess Alice was startled by the sudden loud noise and the sincere apology, then she revealed an even brighter smile and clapped her hands lightly:"Wow! Is this also commoner etiquette? So, Kazuma-sama and Haru-sama's friends are also such polite people!""God, what kind of polite..." Kazuma covered his face, unable to bear looking.Haru smiled and said to Alice, "Yes, Alice. This is the unique culture of admitting faults in Axel. It's very distinctive, isn't it?"
Chapter 199: Then You Must Be Prepared to Have Your Eyes Opened TodayAfter completely dismissing Dust, who was scared out of his wits and even left a suspicious puddle on the floor, Haru and Kazuma carefully guided Miss Alice to an empty table in the very center of the Adventurers Guild hall, where the view was the most open, and had her sit down.Just then, the guild receptionist, Miss Luna, walked over carrying a tray filled with wooden mugs.Miss Miss Luna, who usually wore a professional smile and handled all sorts of eccentric Adventurers with ease, looked as if she had been frozen in a frigid hell for three days and three nights.Her entire body was trembling violently, the wooden mugs on the tray clattered together densely with each of her steps, and a significant amount of juice and ale even splashed out of the cups due to the vibration.As one of the best-informed people in Axel, Miss Luna had clearly learned the true identity of this little girl wearing a shabby cloak through some internal channel." S-several... th-this is the... dr-drink... you ordered... "Miss Luna's voice was shaking so much she couldn't form a complete sentence, and she stiffly placed the mugs on the table one by one.When she placed a specially made, absolutely fresh and hygienic pure fruit juice in front of Alice, her hands shook so badly that she almost spilled the juice directly onto Alice's cloak.While Alice was curiously examining the crude wooden mug, Miss Luna suddenly raised her head and stared fixedly at Haru and Kazuma.In those eyes that were usually gentle, there were now bloodshot veins, and they were filled with despair, pleading, and fear of death.She was frantically signaling to Haru, her facial muscles appearing somewhat distorted from excessive effort.That look seemed to be silently screaming:" I beg you!! Please take this little ancestor away!! This is the Adventurers Guild, where brawls can break out at any time, and the floor is covered in vomit and yellow waste!! If Her Highness the Princess loses even a single hair here, or hears any words she shouldn't, our entire Axel will be razed to the ground by the Royal Mage Corps with Explosion Magic tomorrow!! I beg you, Mr. Lin Jin! Mr. Kazuma! Please spare this poor worker!! "Haru picked up the ale in front of him, took a tactical sip, and then returned a calm look to Miss Luna that said, "Rest assured, everything is under control."" Rest assured my foot! You guys almost physically exorcised Dust just now! "Miss Luna roared desperately in her heart, tears even welling up in the corners of her eyes.Kazuma completely ignored Miss Luna's distress signal; he deliberately struck a deep, thoughtful pose, resting his chin on one hand, and said in a voice he thought was very cool:" Thank you for your hard work, Miss Miss Luna. The guild is as vibrant as ever today. By the way, please bring us a serving of Axel's local specialty, so that our newcomer, Alice, can get a taste of our usual meals. "" Wow! Big sister, you look so tired! "Alice suddenly looked up, holding the cup of juice with both hands, looking at Miss Luna with those pure, flawless sapphire eyes, her tone filled with sincere concern," Your hands are shaking so much; is it because of muscle strain from carrying so many heavy plates every day? The life of commoners is truly full of hardships... Please, by all means, take care of yourself! "" Thud! "Miss Luna's knees suddenly went weak, and she almost knelt directly on the floor.Being cared for in such a gentle tone by the most noble Princess of the Kingdom, she felt that her lifespan was shortening at a rate visible to the naked eye." N-n-n-no such thing! It is my honor to serve the Adventurers! I-I will go to the kitchen to urge them to hurry with the food!! "Miss Luna scrambled away from the table, her retreating figure filled with the desolation of someone who had just survived a disaster." She is truly a hardworking person. "Alice took a small sip of juice, touched," By the way, Lord Kazuma, Lord Haru, what was that Axel specialty you mentioned just now? Is it the meat of some powerful monster? "" Heh heh, well asked! "Kazuma snapped his fingers triumphantly," That is the first hurdle that we novice Adventurers must overcome! Its name is—Deep-Fried Giant ToadCutlet! It is a top-tier delicacy with delicious meat and full of wild flavor! "" G-Giant Toad?! " Alice's eyes instantly lit up like two little stars," Is it that huge monster that swallows people whole? Wow! I've only seen it in the illustrated books in the Royal Library! So, heroes usually eat this kind of thing to replenish their stamina? How amazing! "Aqua, who was sitting opposite, turned pale the instant she heard the words "Giant Toad."Just after Miss Luna served the plate of fried toad cutlets, which were enough to make Alicemistakenly believe that commoner food was this delicious, Alice's reaction completely shattered Kazuma's plan for disillusionment." Ooh! This crispy-on-the-outside, tender-on-the-inside texture that bursts with delicious juices when you bite into it... Is this the craft that commoners have honed for survival?!"Alice, disregarding her elegant image as a princess, had her cheeks stuffed round, her eyes curved into beautiful crescent moons," It's ten thousand times more interesting than those meals in the palace that only pursue refinement but lack soul every day! I can feel it, this taste called struggle! "Watching Alice, who had completely fallen for the delicacies of Axel, Kazuma felt his whole world turn gray.He had originally hoped that the Princess would look disgusted and then cry and demand to go back to the palace to eat foie gras.After eating and drinking her fill—even Aqua let out a satisfied burp after getting a free meal of high-grade marbled beef—Miss Alice's overflowing desire for adventure finally turned toward the core area of the guild." Since I have already experienced the etiquette and diet of the commoners, what comes next... "Alice suddenly stood up, her cloak swaying gently with her movements.Her eyes, full of vigor, stared straight at the huge quest board on the wall of the guild, which was covered with various request forms," I want to see for myself how heroes usually fight bravely for the peace of the people! I want to see everyone's heroic bearing in battle! "Before Haru and Kazuma could react, Alice had already agilely darted through the drunken crowd like a cheerful little deer and rushed to the quest board.Her delicate hands scanned through a pile of quest forms for cleaning sewers, finding lost cats, and harvesting Cabbage, and finally, her gaze fixed on a piece of parchment that was somewhat reddish in color and even bore dried bloodstains." Rip—! "Accompanied by a crisp sound of paper tearing, Alice held the quest form high, turned around, and shouted to Haru and Kazuma:" Everyone! I have decided! Let's go and subjugate this monster that looks very powerful! "Haru narrowed his eyes to see the content on the form, and the corner of his eye twitched violently.> [Emergency Quest: Subjugate the Berserk One-Hit Bear]> - Target: One-Hit Bear (Possesses extremely high attack power, in a state of extreme agitation due to the influence of unknown magic)> - Danger Level: High (Recommended for parties of Lv. 30 or above)> - Description: Has already attacked multiple lumberjacks on the outskirts of the village; its movements are swift, and those struck by it almost never survive." O-One-Hit Bear?! "Kazuma's voice instantly went up an octave, and he sprang up from his chair," W-wait a minute! Alice! That's no joke! That thing is called a One-Hit Bear because it can flatten us into meat patties with a single slap! This is completely different from that plate of dead toad from just now! "" Eh? But, isn't Lord Kazuma the number one hero in Axel? "Alice tilted her head, revealing a look of admiration so pure that it was impossible to refuse," Doesn't a bear that can be defeated by Lord Kazuma in one hit mean a One-Hit Bear? I trust in everyone's strength one hundred percent! ""... "Kazuma's expression instantly jumped frantically between fear and the vanity of being admired by a beautiful girl." Miss Alice, your judgment is indeed very unique. " Haru still maintained that perfect, bodyguard-like smile on his face," However, prey of the One-Hit Bear's level is a rare powerhouse even in Axel. If you want to see our heroic bearing, then you must be prepared to have your eyes opened today. After all... "Haru glanced at Aqua, who had already started to become somewhat withdrawn and was trying to pretend to be drunk in the corner out of fear, and at Darkness, who was already flushed with excitement and was preparing to puff out her chest to welcome the attack."... Our fighting style is indeed very special. "