I woke up to my phone vibrating under the pillow. Not an alarm. A text from the landlord.
Rent due tomorrow. No extensions this time.
The morning light came in dirty through the window. Someone was shouting outside. A car horn. The usual soundtrack.
I checked my account balance: $5.6/₦8,400.
Rent was $30, 45,000 in naira.
I lay there for a minute, doing the math I already knew wouldn't work. Then I got up because lying there wouldn't change anything.
The bucket had water. Small miracle. I bathed cold because the heater died three months ago and I never fixed it. Cold water wakes you up properly anyway. Makes you remember you're alive and that life doesn't care about your comfort.
My roommate Kunle was already gone. He had an 8am class he actually attended. His side of the room was neat. Mine looked like someone was still deciding whether to stay or leave.
I put on my last clean shirt and the jeans I'd worn twice this week. Sprayed some deodorant. Checked myself in the cracked mirror by the door.
(sigh..) I looked tired,
I looked like everyone else on the street.
The campus shuttle was packed. I stood by the door, holding the rail, pressed against strangers who smelled like stress and cheap perfume. A girl beside me was on a call, her voice so tight.
"Mummy, I'm trying. I'm trying."
I looked away.
At the junction before campus, I got down. Ain't going to class tho. Had two assignments due but they'd been due for a while now. What's another day?
I walked to the printing shop where Dayo said he'd meet me (Dayo is my roommate as Kunle). He owed me money from last month. ₦15,000/$10. Not enough for rent tho, but I could do a few stuffs wif it.
The street was already busy. Could hear the 'iieshhhhh' sound of hot oils from a distance away, Women frying akara, men reading newspapers they wouldn't buy, students walking fast like they knew where they were going.
I bought a sachet of water from a kid who looked about twelve. He was supposed to be in school. I was supposed to be in class. We were all supposed to be somewhere else.
Dayo showed up thirty minutes late, smiling like time was something other people worried about.
"Guy, I swear, I was coming," he said.
"You get the money?" I asked.
"That's the thing—".. he said, still smiling like a he-goat.
I didn't let him finish talking. "Dayoo!."
"I know, I know. But listen, I have this thing. This gig. We can both eat from it." he said.
"I need cash now. Today!." (you would see how frustrated and stressed I was at that moment, with the way I looked at him)
"I know. But this gig, if we do it right—"
"How much?" I interrupted.
He hesitated. "I can give you five now. The rest after the gig."
Five thousand naira??..Not even close.
Buh I took it tho. Like wah my Nigerian people wld say "At all at all na e bad pass."
We sat at a roadside buka. He ordered eba and egusi. I ordered the same even though I couldn't really afford it. Pride's so expensive mehn.
He talked while we ate, "Some video editing job. Some guy who needed content. Three days of work, maybe ₦30,000 split between us."
"Maybe?" I said.
"It's solid. I've worked with him before." he sounded serious this time.
"Last time you said that, we waited two months to get paid."
"This one is different." he said
They were always different until they weren't.
But I needed the money. So I said yes.
After we ate, I walked back toward campus. Not to class. To the library where the WiFi was free and I could sit without anyone asking me questions.
That's where I saw her.
Not the first time. I'd seen her before—everyone had. She was in my department, one year behind. Quiet. Didn't run with the loud crowd. Had this way of sitting in lectures like she was listening to something beyond the lecturer's voice.
She was at one of the tables by the window, laptop open, headphones on, writing something. Her face was calm. Focused. Like the city wasn't outside screaming at everyone.
I watched her for a moment, longer than I should have.
Then I found a table far enough away to not be weird, close enough to see her in my peripheral vision.
I opened my laptop. Stared at the assignment I hadn't started. The one due tomorrow that I'd probably submit late with some excuse the lecturer had heard a hundred times.
My phone buzzed.
Another text. This one from my mother.
Have you eaten?
I didn't reply.
I looked back at the girl by the window. She was still writing, calm.
I wondered what that felt like.