The Hololive Private Beach stretched along the coastline like a pristine paradise—white sand, crystal-clear water, and most importantly, completely isolated from the public eye. It was one of the company's best investments, purchased after the seventh incident of members accidentally causing property damage during "team bonding" activities. If they were going to destroy things, management reasoned, better to destroy their own property.
The only requirement for access? A proper summer outfit. No exceptions.
And so, on a beautiful Saturday morning, Hololive EN arrived in style.
The scene played out like a movie trailer, complete with dramatic slow-motion and an inexplicable breeze that made everyone's hair billow perfectly.
HoloMyth came first, walking in a V-formation like they were approaching a final boss.
Mori Calliope led the charge in a black bikini with skull motifs, her pink hair tied up in a high ponytail. Dark sunglasses covered her eyes, and she carried a beach bag shaped like a scythe. "Death takes no vacation," she said coolly, "but she'll take a beach day."
Takanashi Kiara walked beside her in a bright orange two-piece with phoenix feather patterns, practically glowing in the sunlight. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, BEACH DAY! Do you know how long I've been planning this outfit?!"
Ninomae Ina'nis wore a purple one-piece with tentacle designs that somehow looked both cute and eldritch. She carried a large beach umbrella covered in Ancient One runes. "I've prepared SPF 100 sunscreen infused with protection from the Old Gods."
Gawr Gura bounced ahead in a shark-tooth patterned bikini, her tail swishing excitedly. "BEACH! OCEAN! MY PEOPLE!" She gestured dramatically at the water. "I'M COMING HOME!"
Amelia Watson brought up the rear in a practical yet stylish yellow swimsuit, wearing her detective coat over it because aesthetic. She pulled a wagon loaded with enough beach equipment to supply a small army. "I've got seventeen different timeline variations of this beach trip, and in fourteen of them, something explodes. So I came prepared."
HoloCouncil followed, each representing their concept in beach form.
Hakos Baelz cartwheeled into view wearing a red and white dice-patterned bikini, her chaotic energy already at maximum despite just arriving. "BEACHES ARE JUST ORGANIZED CHAOS! Sand is just tiny organized rocks that WANT to be chaotic!"
Nanashi Mumei walked calmly in a brown and white feathered swimsuit, but her eyes had that dangerous gleam that said she was absolutely planning something. "Civilization began near beaches. Therefore, beaches are mine."
Ouro Kronii struck a pose in a blue and white ensemble that looked more like haute couture than swimwear, complete with clock accessories. "Time stops for no one, but I'll make an exception for my tan lines."
Ceres Fauna wore a green leaf-patterned bikini with living flowers woven into her hair. She was already barefoot, connecting with the earth. "Mother Nature is SO happy to be here! And by Mother Nature, I mean me. I'm happy."
Tsukumo Sana—in her human form—wore a space-themed swimsuit covered in stars and galaxies. She was already yawning. "Beach... sleeping... the perfect combination..."
IRyS descended from the sky because of course she did, her Nephilim wings leaving sparkles in the air. She wore a hope-and-despair themed two-piece, one side angelic white, the other demonic black. "I'm here for the vibes and the vocal practice! The ocean has GREAT acoustics!"
Hololive Advent arrived with coordinated energy.
Shiori Novella walked with purpose in a black swimsuit covered in written text and book motifs, carrying what appeared to be a waterproof grimoire. "I've written seventeen different scenarios for today. Twelve end in chaos. Three end in property damage. Two end in—"
"SHIORI, NO OMINOUS FORESHADOWING ON BEACH DAY!" Nerissa Ravencroft called out. The demon girl wore a dark blue swimsuit with feather accents that matched her aesthetic perfectly. Her wings were tucked away for now, but everyone could sense they were ready to deploy.
Koseki Bijou bounded ahead in a pink and blue crystal-patterned bikini, literally sparkling in the sunlight because she was made of rocks. "BEACH! WATER! SAND! Everything I'm NOT made of!"
Fuwawa and Mococo Abyssgard arrived in matching swimsuits—one pink, one blue—both carrying beach balls that were somehow already inflated despite no one seeing them do it.
"BEACH TIME!" Fuwawa cheered.
"BEACH TIME!" Mococo echoed.
"BEACH TIME TOGETHER!" they said in unison, their twin energy already at dangerous levels.
Hololive Justice brought up the rear with dramatic flair.
Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame wore a regal red and gold swimsuit that somehow incorporated her crown. She carried a beach bag shaped like a throne. "As queen of—"
"You're not a queen," Gigi Murin interrupted flatly. She wore a green swimsuit with gamer motifs and carried a waterproof gaming device. "You're a chunibyo with a crown."
"I am ROYALTY!" Elizabeth protested.
"You bought that crown on Amazon."
Cecilia Immergreen glided in wearing an elegant white swimsuit with a sun hat that somehow stayed perfectly positioned despite the breeze. "Ladies, please. We're here to relax."
Raora Panthera prowled forward in an orange and black striped swimsuit that emphasized her panther traits. Her tail swished with anticipation. "Finally! I've been WAITING to use these beach muscles!"
The slow-motion walk concluded as all of Hololive EN assembled on the beach, looking like the world's most chaotic superhero team.
Ame immediately took charge, because someone had to. "Alright! I've mapped out the optimal beach layout!" She pulled out a massive blueprint. "Volleyball net here, swimming area there, sandcastle zone in that corner—"
"Ame," Calli said gently. "It's a beach day. We don't need—"
"I HAVE SEVENTEEN TIMELINES OF DATA!" Ame insisted.
"She's doing her thing," Gura whispered to Kiara. "Just let her have this."
While Ame organized, the groups naturally split off based on their interests.
Sana found a perfect spot under a large beach umbrella and immediately laid down. "This... this is my purpose. Beach sleeping. Peak existence." Within thirty seconds, she was snoring softly.
IRyS walked toward the water, already doing vocal warmups. "Mi-mi-mi-maaaaa! The resonance! The acoustics! This is perfect!" She waded in up to her knees and started singing, her voice carrying beautifully across the beach.
Fauna was already planting things. Somehow. "The beach needs more life! More GREEN!" Tropical plants began sprouting from the sand around her.
"Fauna, that's not how beaches work—" Kronii started.
"MOTHER NATURE SAYS OTHERWISE!" Fauna cheerfully ignored all laws of botany.
Mumei was building something in the sand. Something elaborate. Something that looked suspiciously like a fortified position.
"Mumei, what are you doing?" Kronii asked suspiciously.
"Civilization," Mumei replied simply, not looking up from her sand architecture.
"That's a sand bunker with defensive positions."
"Yes. Civilization."
Kronii decided not to pursue that line of questioning.
Bae was already causing chaos, running in circles and creating small whirlwinds of sand. "IF I RUN FAST ENOUGH, CAN I CREATE A BEACH TORNADO?!"
"PLEASE DON'T!" multiple people shouted.
It started innocently enough.
Ame and Gura had set up beach chairs and a commentary booth (because of course Ame brought a commentary booth). They were sipping tropical drinks with little umbrellas, wearing matching sunglasses.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first annual Hololive EN Beach Volleyball Championship!" Gura announced into a microphone that Ame had somehow produced.
"NOBODY AGREED TO THIS!" Kiara called out.
"TOO LATE, IT'S HAPPENING!" Ame called back.
The volleyball net was set up, and somehow—through a series of challenges, debates, and one rock-paper-scissors tournament—it had been decided that Hololive Advent would face off against Hololive Justice.
The teams assembled on opposite sides of the net.
Team Advent:
Shiori Novella (strategist)Nerissa Ravencroft (aerial support)Koseki Bijou (power hitter)Fuwawa & Mococo (chaos factor)
Team Justice:
Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame (self-proclaimed team captain)Gigi Murin (gamer reflexes)Cecilia Immergreen (elegant precision)Raora Panthera (feline agility)
"First team to fifteen points wins!" Ame declared. "Standard volleyball rules apply, EXCEPT—"
"Oh no," Calli muttered.
"—you're ALLOWED to use your powers!"
"AME, NO!" several people shouted.
"AME YES! This is beach volleyball PLUS! Now serving for Team Advent... BIJOU!"
Bijou held the volleyball, her eyes gleaming with competitive fire. "Don't hold back, Justice! We're going FULL POWER!"
She tossed the ball up, jumped impossibly high, and spiked it with the force of a meteor strike. The ball blazed with crystalline energy as it rocketed toward Justice's side.
Elizabeth moved to receive, summoning her massive red broadsword, Thorn, from thin air. "I am ROYALTY! A mere ball shall not—" She swung her sword like a baseball bat, connecting with the ball and sending it back with equal force. "—DEFEAT ME!"
The ball screamed back across the net.
Nerissa's black feathered wings burst from her back as she took flight, intercepting the ball midair. "Raven wings, don't fail me now!" She spiked it back with a demonic spin that made the ball curve impossibly.
Gigi's oversized gauntlets materialized on her hands, glowing with gaming energy. "FRAME-PERFECT INPUT!" She performed a perfect receive, her gamer instincts calculating the ball's trajectory to the microsecond. "CECILIA, TO YOU!"
Cecilia's white lance appeared in her hands, transforming mid-motion into her violin. "Allow me to compose a victory!" She used the bow to tap the ball with precise musical timing, sending it floating gracefully over the net with a gentle spin.
"TOO SLOW!" Fuwawa and Mococo shouted in unison. The twins had grabbed each other—Mococo holding Fuwawa's legs—and were using each other as a living bat. They spun like a helicopter and smashed the ball back.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Elizabeth screamed.
"WINNING!" the twins replied.
From the commentary booth, Ame and Gura were losing their minds.
"AND MOCOCO USES HER SISTER AS A BAT!" Gura screamed into the microphone. "IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!"
"IN BEACH VOLLEYBALL PLUS, EVERYTHING IS LEGAL!" Ame replied, checking her notes. "Except time travel! I'm not allowed to use time travel! Management was VERY specific about that!"
The score was 3-2, Advent leading, when things escalated.
Shiori opened her waterproof grimoire, and her scribbles began to manifest as solid ink magic. "According to the narrative structure, this is where we secure our dominance!" Words like "POWER" and "SPIKE" materialized as solid constructs that she used to create a launching platform.
Bijou used the platform to achieve even more height. "CRYSTAL METEOR SPIKE!" The ball became encased in gem-like energy.
Raora's panther traits activated, her eyes glowing with feline power. She moved with inhuman speed and agility, her body twisting impossibly to receive the spike. "PANTHERA NEVER MISSES!" She sent the ball spinning back with her claws.
The ball went back and forth, each hit more powerful and ridiculous than the last.
7-5, Advent.
Then Elizabeth decided to go all out. "EVERYONE, WITNESS THE POWER OF ROYALTY!" Her entire body glowed with red energy as she summoned the full power of her Bloodflame abilities. "CRIMSON—"
"LIZ, IT'S VOLLEYBALL!" Gigi shouted.
"—JUSTICE SPIKE!" Elizabeth hit the ball with such force that it actually caught fire.
Nerissa intercepted with a demonic barrier. "DEMON ARTS: FEATHER SHIELD!" Her wings created a wall of black feathers that absorbed the impact before sending the ball back.
8-7, Justice pulled ahead.
"This is getting intense!" Gura commented, her eyes wide.
"I TOLD YOU!" Ame was frantically taking notes. "In Timeline 7, this is where they start adding weapons! In Timeline 12, they accidentally summon a sea monster!"
"WHICH TIMELINE ARE WE IN?!" Gura asked.
"I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S THE EXCITING PART!"
At 10-10, both teams decided that regular volleyball, even with powers, wasn't extreme enough.
Bijou pulled out a bat. Not a metaphorical bat. An actual baseball bat made of crystal. "BATS ARE ALLOWED!"
"IF BATS ARE ALLOWED—" Elizabeth raises her broadsword again, "—THEN SWORDS ARE ALLOWED!"
"Oh no," Calli said from her beach chair, watching the chaos unfold.
"Should we stop them?" Kiara asked nervously.
"Can we stop them?" Ina countered.
They all looked at each other and silently agreed: no, they could not stop them.
The game resumed with even more chaos.
Fuwawa and Mococo had given up all pretense of normal volleyball and were just launching themselves at the ball like furry missiles. "TWIN ATTACK!" they shouted, colliding with the ball mid-air and sending it careening back.
Cecilia transformed her lance-violin back to lance form and used it like a pool cue, banking the ball off an invisible barrier with perfect geometry. "Precision is the key to victory!"
"PRECISION IS BORING!" Raora roared, using her claws to shred the air itself, creating a vacuum that sucked the ball toward their side of the court.
Shiori was writing furiously in her book. "Plot twist: the ball becomes sentient!"
"SHIORI, NO!" everyone shouted.
"SHIORI YES!" The ball briefly gained awareness and tried to escape before Nerissa caught it.
"STOP MAKING THINGS WEIRD!" Nerissa spiked the ball while flying at full speed, her raven wings leaving a trail of dark feathers.
11-11.
"They're evenly matched!" Gura narrated excitedly. "This is like watching a shounen anime volleyball arc!"
"It's literally Haikyu but with actual superpowers!" Ame agreed. "AND IT'S GETTING BETTER!"
That's when someone made a terrible mistake.
"You know what this game needs?" Bijou said with a dangerous gleam in her eye.
"No," Gigi said immediately. "Whatever you're thinking, no."
"MORE FIREPOWER!" Bijou's crystalline body began to glow, and suddenly she was manifesting weapons. Not just any weapons. GUNS. Crystal guns that fired gem projectiles.
"ARE YOU BRINGING GUNS TO VOLLEYBALL?!" Elizabeth shrieked.
"YOU BROUGHT A SWORD!"
"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"
"HOW?!"
"BECAUSE I'M ROYALTY!"
But the damage was done. The escalation had reached critical mass.
Within minutes, both teams had armed themselves to the teeth.
Team Advent had:
Bijou's crystal gunsNerissa's demonic spear (she'd been hiding it this whole time)Shiori's ink constructs forming barriers and platformsThe twins had found a cannon somewhere (nobody questioned it)
Team Justice countered with:
Elizabeth's Bloodflame sword, now on fireGigi's gauntlets, upgraded with what looked like rocket boostersCecilia's lance, which could now shoot light beamsRaora's panther claws, extended to ridiculous lengths
"THIS IS STILL VOLLEYBALL, RIGHT?!" Gura screamed into the microphone.
"TECHNICALLY!" Ame checked her rulebook. "The ball hasn't touched the ground yet, so by the rules, the game is still active!"
"THAT'S NOT HOW—" Gura started.
The ball, now smoking and partially melted from various energy attacks, continued to fly back and forth. Each team had constructed elaborate fortifications on their side of the net.
Mumei looked up from her sand civilization. "Amateurs. Those defensive positions are all wrong."
"MUMEI, NOT HELPING!" Kronii shouted.
12-12.
Someone—nobody was quite sure who—decided that tanks would be a good addition.
Suddenly, both teams had sand-based tanks that they'd constructed with impossible speed.
"HOW?!" Kiara demanded. "HOW DID THEY BUILD TANKS?!"
"Mumei gave them blueprints," Fauna sighed, pointing at the owl girl who was innocently building sandcastles that were definitely not military fortifications (they absolutely were).
"CIVILIZATION PROVIDES!" Mumei called out cheerfully.
The tanks fired sand-ball projectiles at the volleyball, creating an absolutely insane game of three-dimensional combat volleyball.
Nerissa flew above the chaos, her raven wings fully extended. "DARKNESS SPIKE!" She dive-bombed the ball with her spear, adding demonic energy to it.
Elizabeth met her in the air, their weapons clashing in a shower of sparks. "BLOODFLAME COUNTER!" Her sword blazed as she redirected the ball back.
Meanwhile, on the ground, Bijou and Gigi were having their own personal duel.
"CRYSTAL BARRAGE!" Bijou's guns fired a hail of gem projectiles.
"GAMER REFLEXES: MAXIMUM!" Gigi's gauntlets moved in a blur, blocking every shot while simultaneously setting up a receive. "CECILIA, COMBO PLAY!"
"Understood!" Cecilia's lance shot a beam of light that curved the ball's trajectory impossibly.
The twins had somehow created a catapult. Because of course they had.
"LOAD SISTER!" Fuwawa commanded.
"WAIT, WHICH SISTER?!" Mococo protested.
"DOESN'T MATTER, GET IN THE CATAPULT!"
They launched each other in alternating turns, creating the world's most chaotic volleyball rotation.
13-13.
"MATCH POINT!" Ame announced. "NEXT POINT WINS!"
Both teams paused, staring at each other across the net. The beach around them was devastated—sand everywhere, scorch marks, impact craters, and what appeared to be the remains of three separate sand fortifications.
"This ends NOW!" Elizabeth declared, her crown somehow still perfectly positioned. "JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!"
"ADVENT NEVER LOSES!" Shiori countered, her grimoire glowing with narrative power.
The ball was served.
What followed was the most intense, over-the-top, absolutely ridiculous volleyball rally in the history of sports.
Every power was used. Every weapon was deployed. The twins used each other as projectiles. Nerissa and Elizabeth had an aerial duel while the ball bounced between them. Bijou's guns fired in perfect rhythm. Gigi's gauntlets moved faster than the eye could follow. Cecilia and Raora performed combination moves that defied physics.
Shiori wrote "ULTIMATE SPIKE" in her book, and the words became reality, creating a platform that launched Bijou into the stratosphere.
"CRYSTAL METEOR MAXIMUM!" Bijou came down like a comet, the ball blazing with gem energy.
Elizabeth met her in mid-air, her sword fully ignited. "BLOODFLAME JUSTICE ABSOLUTE!"
Their powers collided.
The explosion of energy sent sand flying in all directions, creating a miniature sandstorm. When it cleared...
The ball was perfectly balanced on the top of the net, spinning in place, neither falling to one side nor the other.
Everyone froze.
"Uh," Gura said into the microphone. "Ame? What does the rulebook say about this?"
Ame flipped through her notes frantically. "It says... uh... it says this is impossible and shouldn't happen."
"GREAT! SUPER HELPFUL!"
The ball continued to spin on the net, mocking both teams.
Then Sana's snoring from across the beach created a gentle breeze.
The ball wobbled.
Everyone held their breath.
It fell.
Toward Justice's side.
"NOOOO!" Elizabeth dove dramatically.
But Raora was faster. Her panther reflexes activated, and she managed to get under the ball at the last possible second, bumping it back up.
"I'VE GOT IT!" Gigi shouted, positioning for the winning spike.
But Nerissa intercepted from above, her wings creating a gust that altered the ball's path.
It sailed back over the net.
Toward Advent's side.
Where Fuwawa and Mococo, in perfect twin synchronization, performed their ultimate technique.
"TWIN MAXIMUM POWER!" they shouted in unison, using each other as a living springboard to achieve maximum height.
"ABYSSGARD SPECIAL!" They struck the ball together, combining their power.
The ball shot toward Justice's side like a meteor.
Elizabeth raised her sword for one final defense. "JUSTICE... WILL NOT... FALL!"
She swung.
The ball connected with her blade.
Time seemed to slow.
The ball flew high into the air, spinning majestically against the blue sky.
It came down.
Right onto Justice's side.
Before anyone could react to save it.
"POINT TO ADVENT!" Ame screamed. "ADVENT WINS, 14-13!"
Team Advent erupted in celebration, jumping and cheering and creating general chaos.
"WE DID IT!" Bijou pumped her fist.
"TWIN POWER SUPREME!" Fuwawa and Mococo hugged each other while spinning in circles.
"The narrative arc concludes satisfactorily," Shiori said with a small smile, closing her grimoire.
"Good game, everyone," Nerissa said graciously, though she was clearly exhausted.
Team Justice collapsed on their side of the net.
"I can't believe we lost," Elizabeth said dramatically, staring at the sky. "A queen... defeated at beach volleyball..."
"You're not a—" Gigi started, then gave up. "You know what? Good game. They earned it."
"Indeed," Cecilia agreed, somehow still looking elegant despite being covered in sand. "Though perhaps next time we should establish ground rules before adding tanks."
"Where DID those tanks come from?" Raora asked.
Everyone looked at Mumei, who was innocently building another sandcastle that definitely had defensive turrets.
"Civilization!" Mumei said cheerfully.
From the commentary booth, Ame and Gura high-fived.
"BEST. BEACH DAY. EVER!" Gura declared.
"And we got it all on stream!" Ame checked her phone. "We're trending number one worldwide. Again. For the third time this month."
"Management's going to have words about the weapons," Calli predicted from her beach chair.
"Worth it," Ina said, sketching the scene for posterity.
Just when everyone thought the chaos was over, a voice echoed across the beach.
"I HEARD THERE WAS VOLLEYBALL!"
Everyone turned to see a new group arriving. HoloID had somehow gotten wind of the beach party.
Kaela walked onto the beach wearing practical swimwear and carrying what appeared to be construction equipment. "I brought reinforcements for the buildings. You know, just in case."
"WHY WOULD WE NEED—" Kiara started.
"Look at your volleyball court," Moona said flatly, pointing at the crater-filled battlefield that had once been a pristine beach.
"Ah," Kiara said. "Right."
"ALSO!" Reine strutted onto the sand in a regal swimsuit. "We heard about the volleyball tournament and we want IN!"
"ID versus EN!" Zeta pumped her fist. "Let's GO!"
Ame and Gura's eyes lit up simultaneously.
"ROUND TWO!" they screamed into their microphones.
"NO!" everyone else shouted.
"YES!" Bae shouted, her chaos energy reaching maximum. "MORE CHAOS! MORE VOLLEYBALL!"
And thus, the Great Hololive Beach Volleyball War entered its second phase.
But that, as they say, is a story for another day.
For now, as the sun began to set over the Hololive Private Beach, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink, one thing was certain:
This was definitely going in the "Top 10 Hololive Incidents" compilation.
Right after the building destruction incident.
Which had only been three days ago.
Management was going to need so much therapy.