(Tilly Ann)
"Hi," he whispered after a few seconds of staring at each other.
"Hello"
I felt myself relax just a little, even though I should be racing out of there. Rules and all.
An unmarried princess wasn't supposed to be with a man of his reputation alone like this, betrothed or not. But after our kiss in that arena packed with people, and my proposition at dinner, it seemed too little too late for decorum.
"You didn't show up last night" I found myself asking.
"My....emm, my father kept me till late hours. I couldn't—"
"That's okay. I was busy too" I quickly deflected.
Last thing I wanted was for Chase to know I spent the better part of last night waiting for him.
"What is on your mind?" I changed the subject.
Knowing Chase, he was going to make an arrogant, self-important remark or something cocky.
"A million and one things, I'm afraid," he surprised me by saying.
"Tell me one." I took a step closer to him, making the conscious decision not to sit on his lap no matter how much I wanted to.
"Your eyes, for one," he whispered.
"Gorgeous, right?" I winked at him. "It's the best of me."
He smiled. It was the first genuine smile I had seen on wheelchair Chase. "Hardly the best thing," he said. "I could go as far as to say it is my least favorite thing about you, Matilda."
I feigned shock.
"If not my world-class pair of darkest shade of green eyes, then please tell me, Alpha heir... what's your favorite thing about me? And if you say my lady part, I am pushing you off this cliff—"
"It's your unapologetic decision to live by nobody's rules but your own, Matilda." he looked away. "Like It is Matilda's world, we are just living in it. Not everyone is that brave, sweet girl. The only other person I know that is that brave is my little brother."
"You have a brother. You don't talk about him much.You've only mentioned him once before" I took another step closer. I stopped myself from running my hand through his hair.
"Our relationship is... complicated. And recently, I think hate is all that's left. Poor bastard breaks my heart any chance he gets. Loathes my gut too."
"I'm sure he loves you" I reassured him. "Take Kessington and I. I would sell him for a good basket of oranges on a hungry day. But I would also die for him. Siblings are weird, that way"
He chuckled. And scratched his hair. I followed the movement of his fingers.
Stop it, Tilly!
"I should go." I said blinking and turned to leave.
"Wait," he said.
"Yes?" I turned around fast. So eager to hear what he had to say.
"Your eyes are not the darkest shade of green. I know everyone says they are, but they're not."
"They're not? I can't wait to hear the smooth line you're going to come up with, Mr. Dubois."
"No line. Just the truth, Matilda. There's a ring of gold around your pupil. It's tiny, but it's there. And little flecks of gray, like a storm passing over a meadow." He exhaled. "It's not just green. It's a whole landscape, sweetheart."
I stared at him and exhaled, suddenly angry. "You see that, asshole...is the reason you confuse me"
"I'm —"
"Chase you say things like this... beautiful things like this. Finger fuck me like your world depends on it. Kiss me like you can't bear the thought of life without me. but then you turn around and ignore me in public. Flirt with other girls in my presence. You won't say you love me. You confuse me, Chase!"
He flinched. He rolled his wheelchair back a little and started rolling away. Like he could outrun me.
"I won't have this conversation with you anymore. Forget the storeroom. Forget the table. Let's just forget that it happened," he murmured and tried to roll away. I wouldn't let him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"Forget it."
"No! Tell me."
"Stop!" he yelled. "I never should have let that happen. It was my mistake. My fucking mistake. You deserve more than that, Tilly. And you have no idea how sorry I am. How sorry I will continue to be. No fucking idea!"
I froze. "What do you mean, you never should have let that happen? I was there, Chase. You were there. Your hands. Your mouth. You—"
"Shut up about it already!" He was shaking with frustration. "Please. I'm begging you. Shut up about it. Forever."
"But —"
"Shut. The . Fuck. Up. Forever!"
The world exploded around me. I'm sorry, who the hell did he think he was talking to.
When did I get so carried away in my desire for him that he thought he was allowed to speak to me like that?
"Did you just tell me to shut up? I am a Dragon Princess! My veins are blood and fire."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"I don't do 'hurt feelings,' Alpha Chase. But I do occasionally plot murder. Disrespect me again, and —"
"If you don't want to be disrespected, then stop letting hi—!" He cut himself off, chest heaving. "Stop letting me do it," he corrected, the words gritty. He exhaled. I was ready to explode into tiny pieces "Next time I come to you, wanting to stick my fingers or my tongue where they don't belong, here's an idea: SAY NO!"
"FUCK YOU!" I screamed.
"I CAN'T! I... can't!"
The silence after his scream was deafening. The waterfall roared, but it was just noise now.
His face was pure, unadulterated agony. He looked like a man being torn in half. Was I that unlovable? That difficult to be with!
He can't.
I thought that was all he had to say but no, he said more.
"Don't you understand by now? Why are you so dumb?! Are you so starved of attention that you are so fucking blind?!"
He looked at me, his eyes wide like a madman's. And mine? Mine was the eyes of someone who had finally had enough. Who had a difficult decision to make.
If I stayed...I lose myself, this man in front of me will turn me into those angry jealous wife who stay home raising babies and pinning after a husband who was never hers to begin with.
And if I leave...I lose him. I lose the man I love.
But either way, I lose. So, I made a choice.
I was Tilly Ann Winchester, I would never stay with a man who speaks to me like I wasn't Tilly Ann fucking Winchester!
"The engagement is off, Alpha Chase.Find someone less dumb to play your games with!"
Without another word, I turned and walked away, my boots pounding the path. Tears blurring my eyes.
"You can't call off the engagement, Matilda!" he yelled after me. "Your father needs my father to win his bloody war!"
"My father is not your father. If I say I won't marry you and mean it, bet your fucking ass that Adonis Winchester will choose me over his war."
"Well, how wonderful it is to be you. With your perfect father and your perfect war-ridden kingdom, Princess!" His voice dripped with sarcasm.
I turned around one last time to look at him.
Can't you see you've broken my heart? I wanted to yell at him.
Don't you care?
"And you are right, Matilda. This engagement is over. It never even started"
I froze. That was not the man I love.
He wasn't real after all. Just a figment of my imagination.
"Chase" I said quietly. Tears sliding down my face. "Do everyone who's ever met you a favor and die already"
The words left my mouth before I could stop them.
"I'm fucking trying!" He yelled back, ripping out his collar shirt like they were suddenly constricting. "And fuck you, Tilly. Fuck all of you!"