Lana smiled brightly when she noticed Duff come in with the rest of her team. They had all changed clothes as normal and Duff had his ability book tucked under his arm.
"How did combat class treat you, Duff?"
"The sai seems easier than the sword but I'm working on improving my coordination."
He sighed deeply. "I didn't grow up with combat, just getting bullied. It feels like I'm so far behind."
He slumped into a chair at the table.
Kattie and Almin got to work straight away on cooking. Lana left the recipe on the counter of the Super kitchen. This was the second day using it so she wanted to give Paul a good assessment.
"Duff, how are your studies in that book coming?" as she glanced over at it and she wondered if he engaged in combat class or sat aside reading.
"The book is amazing! I'm looking forward to using it on the next poral outing. Maybe I can be more than just a bag holder for you."
"Ouch! We don't do that nonsense. We each have our own bags, and we split the burden of party supplies. Different topic. Have you been bullied at all?"
"It's funny you should mention that. The person who was protecting me is… missing. However, the person who approached me yesterday didn't today."
Lana nodded, "what did the missing person ask you to do to earn your keep?"
Duff looked at his lap. "If I tell you and he turns up…"
"Duff, we're going to a portal planet. You should be more concerned about whether or not we can trust you. I want the truth. Answer the question."
"I don't know the details but he wanted me to spy on you, specifically. He had me recording footage of you and uploading it to your file in the school system."
"For what purpose?"
"He told me it was revenge. You did something against him as a child is what he said."
Lana nodded. "Thank you. Do you have any gear for the outing?"
"Gear? No. My team would not help with such things."
Lana nodded. Under the table she pulled some speed boots out of her bracelet. "What happened to your team anyway? Were you attacked after I left?."
Duff nodded, "The leader of my team was a level-7 and decided to stray from the class a bit. This monstrous black panther, tentacle thing appeared. It looked… angry. It was terrifying."
Lana chuckled and Duff stopped talking. "Please continue."
"Well, he was quite upset our teacher allowed you so much freedom and decided he was stronger than you. When he saw this mad, dereanged beast, he attacked it and the others joined him. They wanted the top score and thought a beast core would be a great bonus. Plus you led Paul's team to a beast but didn't offer anyone else the opportunity. He felt killing a beast would help him feel better."
Lana laughed, "and killing an angry panteri was supposed to be easy, right?"
Duff nodded, "he thought the beast was alone. But it wasn't. My team was slaughtered. They were so fast. They used those roots to pin their prey, tentacles to hold them still, then kill."
"You watched… You climbed a tree."
Duff nodded. "And stayed there until I was sure I was safe. Then I rushed back to tell Sergeant Rage."
Lana nodded once more. "Well, those who join me are expected to work as a team. Maverick behavior will get you tossed."
Dobin cleared his throat. Lana shot him a glare then continued.
"Your meals will be with us. We often work with Blaine's team so you will see his people as well. To properly support each other in outings, we must know each others strengths and weaknesses. We are a top team because we live this principle. Rene and Tobias will also start training with us."
Dobin chimed in, "are we sparring every day until the next outing, day off on Sunday?"
Lana nodded, "Sunday is a Market stall day, required participation, Duff. The profits go to party funds. That covers gear, equipment, food on outings and such. Dobin, do you mind joining Blaine and I after we eat? The rest of you will stay here and train. Learn from each other. That outing will be here before we know it."
"Where are Chekof and Karlen?" Rene asked.
"They have specific, family-related training. Don't worry, they know how to integrate themselves into a team."
Rene nodded.
Dobin looked questioningly at Lana, but she pretended not to see it. As dinner was being served, "we a have a guest in my room," she pointed up to her room. "Can you please fix two plates this evening?"
Kattie nodded and made sure it happened.
Lana took a plate up to Cynthia then explained her special task as minimally as possible to the group so they would understand her presence.
At 5:30, she and the boys were done eating, though Dobin looked like he wanted more. They took Paul's plate to him then headed to her appointment. At the door, Lana paused. She took several deep breaths then opened it. The receptionist gave her a caring smile that would have made others feel comfortable and welcoming. To Lana, it felt like a trap.
"He's ready for you," the woman said and she pressed a button. A buzzer was heard, almost imperceptible. She had never noticed that before.
Blaine gave her hand a gentle squeeze and they passed through the door that Dobin opened for her. There was the desk, the chair, and the doctor.
"It's good to see you, Lana. I must say I was surprised when I got your text," Doctor Cogito said with a gentle smile. Having observed her, he knew the slightest thing could make her run. She was here on her terms this time, but he still needed to play his cards right.
Dobin pointed to a chair and asked if he could pull it up and was told he could.
Taking a deep breath, "you know Blaine, this is brother my Dobin."
"AH! I finally get to meet your twin! It's nice to mee you, Dobin," Doctor Cogito extended his hand for a shake and Dobin took it before taking a seat.
Lana was still standing in the middle of the room with Blaine holding her hand.
Blaine leaned down to her ear, "one foot in front of the other. You can do this."
With Blaine's support, she walked slowly to the chair. The doctor was just getting ready to get him a chair when he sat down and pulled Lana in his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her.
Lana slowly lifted her head and looked at the doctor. She gulped then asked, "I was wondering how to undo abusive programming. Can you help me do that?"
"What kind of abusive programming?"
"Every night for ten years we had to recite: I am worthless and will never amount to anything. Society will always hate me because I'm weak trash. I will always be incapable of success. I will likely die in the night."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "did you both have to recite this?" as he looked between Dobin and Lana.
Dobin replied, "all of us did. I still don't understand way it didn't affect me, but it did her."
"Because you didn't care. Every time I wanted to talk to you about something that bothered me, it was the same answer. They don't listen so why care. Don't let them bother you. But not caring would be not being myself. I can't turn off my heart like you did."
Dobin suddenly realized why there were so many secrets between them. He didn't give her space to share the important things.
Blaine added softly, "I think you need to share your nightmares with the doctor as well."
Lana looked at him with fear in her eyes. Blaine put his hand behind her head to keep her gaze on him. "I think the two are related. If you truly want to end this, to put the past behind you, you need to lay it all out there. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I already told you, we are in this together."
Lana nodded. She told the doctor about Stacy. Dobin's jaw dropped when he heard the story.
"I thought she had transferred to another school!" He looked shocked, "that was so long ago. And you never told me…"
"Because you don't care!"
"I care about you. YOU. Not those other people. I guess I just never understood the impact they were having on you. I …. I made myself unavailable…."
Dobin scoffed as he looked at Blaine, "then I mistrusted and was jealous of the one person who made himself available where I should have been…"
Dobin took a few breaths, blinking his eyes, "I'm sorry."
Lana held out her arms to offer a hug, and he came to her to receive it.
"Lana, are there any differences between what happened and the nightmares?"
Lana nodded, "my nightmares have her screaming at me for not staying with her, making her call her mother, keeping her secret instead of getting her help. Sometimes. Sometimes it's actually what happened"
Doctor Cogito nodded, "so they are related. How often are the nightmares and how bad are they?
"Mostly every night but a few nights have been nice. Blaine bought me a silence globe so my roommate can sleep through the night. If he lays next to me until I fall asleep, I don't have a nightmare, either. He also stopped a nightmare on that first portal outing. That's never been done before."
"You shared a bed on the portal outing?"