Lana smiled brightly when she noticed Duff come in with the rest of her team. They had all changed clothes as normal and Duff had his ability book tucked under his arm.
"How did combat class treat you, Duff?"
"The sai seems easier than the sword but it's still hard to coordinate." He sighed deeply. "I think I'm destined to be a failure." He slumped into a chair at the table.
Kattie and Almin got to work straight away on cooking. Lana left the recipe on the counter of the Super kitchen. This was the second day using it so she wanted to give Paul a good assessment.
"Duff, how are your studies in that book coming?" as she glanced over at it and she wondered if he engaged in combat class or sat aside reading.
"The book is amazing! I'm looking forward to using it on the next portal outing. Maybe I can be more than just a bag holder for you."
"Ouch! We don't do that nonsense. We each have our own bag and we split the burden of party supplies. Different topic. Have you been bullied at all?"
"It's funny you should mention that. The person who was protecting me is… missing. However, the person who approached me yesterday didn't today."
Lana nodded, "what did the missing person ask you to do to earn your keep?"
Duff looked at his lap. "If I tell you and he turns up…"
"Duff, we're going to a portal planet. You should be more concerned with whether or not we can trust you. I want the truth. Answer the question."
"I don't know the details but he wanted me to spy on you, specifically. He had me recording footage of you and uploading it to your file in the school system."
"For what purpose?"
"He told me it was revenge. You did something against him as a child is what he said."
Lana nodded. "Thank you. Do you have any gear for the outing?"
"Gear? No. My team would not help with such things."
Lana nodded. Under the table she pulled some speed boots out of her bracelet. "What happened to your team anyway? You guys should have been safe."
Duff nodded, "should being the operative word. The leader of my team was a level-7 and he thought following a level-6 was beneath him. He was quite upset our teacher allowed you so much freedom. I thought you did a great job. Everyone benefited. They wanted the highest scores and decided to leave the class when the teacher wasn't watching. We were attacked by a walking stone of some sort. I ran the minute I saw it, which is why I'm alive. The soldiers found their bodies after I told them where to look."
Lana nodded once more. "Those things were brutal. Well, in my team, we thrive off teamwork. You are expected to eat your meals with us. If you haven't noticed, Blaine is not part of my team but some of his team is here as well. Teamwork works best when you get to know your team, not just in combat but personally. We need to know each other's personalities and such to ensure we take care of each other out there. For Rene and Tobias as well," she nodded to each, "our two teams want that bonus portal outing. That means getting you guys more up to speed."
Dobin chimed in, "does this mean we are sparring for the rest of the week, day off on Sunday?"
Lana nodded, "though Sunday is our Market stall day. Duff will need to be there for that as well. The profits go toward team gear. Dobin, I need you to join Blaine and I with something after we eat. As for the rest of you, including those of you on Blaine's team, your off time will be here sparring and learning from each other at least until this outing. We only have a few more days to prepare. You need to be using your skills, your ability, getting stronger."
"Why aren't Chekof and Karlen here?" Rene asked.
"They do their own thing for training. It's common with originals so I don't question them. Since the two teams work together, it won't hurt you to train with us."
Rene nodded.
Dobin looked a question at Lana but she didn't respond. Dinner was served. "Fix two extra plates this time. We have a guest in my room and Paul needs his plate as well."
Kattie nodded and made sure it happened.
Lana took a plate up to Cynthia then explained her special task as minimally as possible to the group so they would understand her presence.
At 5:30, she and the boys were done eating, though Dobin looked like he wanted more. They took Paul's plate to him then headed to her appointment. At the door, Lana paused. She took several deep breaths then opened it. The receptionist gave her a caring smile that would have made others feel comfortable and welcoming. To Lana, it felt like a trap.
"He's ready for you," the woman said and she pressed a button. A buzzer was heard, almost imperceptible. She had never noticed that before.
Blaine gave her hand a gentle squeeze and they passed through the door that Dobin opened for her. There was the desk, the chair, and the doctor.
"It's good to see you, Lana. I must say I was surprised when I got your text," Doctor Cogito said with a gentle smile. Having observed her, he knew the slightest thing could make her run. She was here on her terms this time but he still needed to play his cards right.
Dobin pointed to a chair and asked if he could pull it up and was told he could.
Taking a deep breath, "you know Blaine, this is brother Dobin."
"AH! I finally get to meet your twin! It's nice to meet you, Dobin," Doctor Cogito extended his hand for a shake with a bright smile and Dobin took it before taking a seat. Lana was still standing in the middle of the room with Blaine holding her hand.
Blaine leaned down to her ear, "one foot in front of the other. You can do this."
With Blaine's support, she walked slowly to the chair. The doctor was just getting ready to get him a chair when he sat down and pulled Lana in his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her.
Lana slowly lifted her head and looked at the doctor. She gulped then asked, "I was wondering how to undo abusive programming. Can you help me do that?"
"What kind of abusive programming?"
"Every night for ten years we had to recite: I am worthless and will never amount to anything. Society will always hate me because I'm weak trash. I will always be incapable of success. I will likely die in the night."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "did you both have to recite this?" as he looked between Dobin and Lana.
Dobin replied, "all of us did. I still don't understand why it didn't affect me but it did her."
"Because you didn't care. Every time I wanted to talk to you about something that bothered me, it was the same answer. They don't listen so why care. Don't let them bother you. But not caring would be not being myself. I can't turn off my heart like you did."
Dobin suddenly realized why there were so many secrets between them. He didn't give her space to share the important things.
Blaine added softly, "I think you need to share your nightmares with the doctor as well."
Lana looked at him with fear in her eyes. Blaine put his hand behind her head to keep her gaze on him. "I think the two are related. If you truly want to end this, to put the past behind you, you need to lay it all out there. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I already told you, we are in this together."
Lana nodded. She told the doctor about Stacy. Dobin's jaw dropped when he heard the story.
"I thought she had transferred to another school!" He looked shocked, "that was so long ago. And you never told me…"
"Because you don't care!"
"I care about you. YOU. Not those other people!" He took a deep breath, "I guess... I just never understood the impact they were having on you. I …. I made myself unavailable…." Dobin scoffed as he looked at Blaine, "then I mistrusted and was jealous of the one person who made himself available where I should have been…" Dobin took a few breaths, blinking his eyes, "I'm sorry."
Lana held out her arms to offer a hug and he came to her to receive it.
"Lana, are there any differences between what happened and the nightmares?"
Lana nodded, "my nightmares have her screaming at me for not staying with her, making her call her mother, keeping her secret instead of getting her help. Sometimes. Sometimes it's actually what happened"
Doctor Cogito nodded, "so they are related. How often are the nightmares and how bad?"
"Mostly every night but a few nights have been nice. Blaine bought me a silence globe so my roommate can sleep through the night. If he lays next to me until I fall asleep, I don't have a nightmare, either. He also stopped a nightmare on that first portal outing. That's never been done before."
"You shared a bed on the portal outing?"
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