"I think your phone is ringing," James said.
"My phone? I don't have a phone... Oh, wait. They gave me one for emergencies before I came here." After fumbling through his shorts, the Clerk pulled out a latest model smartphone.
"Uh... now, how do I unlock this thing?" he muttered, struggling to slide the green icon across the screen. "This is too hard. You used to have those phones with buttons; they seemed much easier. This... this is impossible."
James couldn't stand the sight any longer. He reached out and swiped the screen for him. "Actually, it's simple," he said as the call connected.
"Hello? Hello, are you there?" A faint voice belonging to a young woman could be heard from the phone.
"Put it to your ear," James said, gesturing with his hand.
"Oh, right... Hello. I am 9783993933478... Hmm. Uh-huh. Yes. Yes, I understand. Okay... We'll be there soon." He ended the call with vague responses.
"What happened?" James asked.
"This place is being used as a warehouse now. They called to explain how to get to the main office. Follow me," the Clerk said, starting to walk.
They stopped in front of a saloon with swinging doors, just like in the old movies.
"The back exit of this place leads directly to the main office," the Clerk said, heading inside. The interior looked just like the outside—as if it were straight off a film set. When they opened another door, James saw that white light again.
"Let's go," the Clerk said, grabbing James by the arm and jumping into the light.
…
"How is this possible? Are you joking with me?" James shouted in a rage.
After jumping through the light, they found themselves in a modern office. A young woman greeted them and took them inside her room.
Now, she was telling him that he wasn't actually supposed to die. The woman was now telling him that he was not actually supposed to die, that they were transitioning to a new system, and that due to a "tiny, very tiny mistake" during the transition, he had died. According to what she said, he still had 60 years left to live. He was supposed to live a very long life on planet Earth.
The woman tried to calm him down, but it was futile.
"Send me back! If I'm not supposed to be dead, if my time isn't up, send me back right now!"
As he continued to shout, dozens of employees in suits, with dark circles under their eyes and pale skin, stood outside, their eyes fixed on him through the office window.
"We're very sorry. But you died in front of everyone. It's not possible for us to revive you."
"Are you serious?"
"We're sorry. There's nothing we can do… Actually, to make up for this mistake, we were instructed to offer you another life on another planet. We hope you'll accept our compensation and forgive us."
"I'm going to lose my mind," James said, sitting in one of the office chairs and burying his face in his hands.
"Please, take a moment to calm down. I'll leave you alone for a bit," she said. She signaled the Death Clerk to follow her, but the man was so focused on fiddling with his phone that he had no idea what was happening around him. Finally, the woman left the room alone.
James was in the middle of an existential crisis. If one thing was certain, the afterlife was just as absurd as life itself. Now they were offering him a new start on another planet. Today, he had not only learned that the afterlife was real but also that alien life existed. Why had he worked so hard all those years? In that moment, everything lost its meaning.
"Hey," he said to the Clerk. But the man was too busy laughing at a video he had found on Yutube.
'Look at him. A minute ago he couldn't even unlock the phone,' James thought.
"Hey!" he shouted again, finally catching the Clerk's attention.
"The new life. I accept. But I don't want to lose my memories."
"What?"
"The offer I accept that... A new life on another planet... I accept."
"Really? Did that woman offer that?... Ah, sorry, I wasn't listening. You know, this is the first time since I existed that I've had free time during working hours. It's a wonderful feeling." he said with the joy of a child who just got his first toy.
A few minutes later, the young woman who had just left opened the door slightly and peeked back into the room. She looked like afraid to step inside.
"Mr. Smith? If you've calmed down, may I come in?"
"Please. I've made my decision. I accept the new life."
The woman's eyes widened. After his earlier tantrum, she clearly hadn't expected such a quick answer.
"Really? Oh, thank you... you've saved me a lot of trouble. Thank you!"
'Is she about to cry? I'm the one who should be crying here,' James thought.
"But I want to keep my memories," he told her.
"That... that is actually forbidden. But just this once... my supervisor told me to grant whatever you ask." she muttered to herself.
"What happens now?"
"Just sit back and relax. You will begin your new life in a few seconds."
The woman sat at her desk and tapped a few keys on her keyboard.
"I wish you a long life, Mr. Smith," she said with a smile. Then, she pressed enter.
Suddenly, James felt everything fade into darkness.
When he opened his eyes again, he found himself in the middle of a forest covered with giant trees. His new life had begun on an unknown planet.
Only to end just a few minutes later…