Kendrick's POV
Kendrick made it exactly seven miles before he had to stop the car.
His hands were shaking actually shaking gripping the steering wheel so hard that he heard the leather creak. His wolf was clawing at his insides, howling with rage, grief and a desperate, primal need that threatened to override every shred of control he had spent twenty-seven years building.
Go back. Go back. CLAIM HER. MAKE HER UNDERSTAND.
"Shut up," he growled at his wolf, but his voice was rough, barely human.
The bond stretched between them like a living thing thin and new and fragile but undeniably there. He could feel her even now, miles away. Could sense her location like a compass needle pointing north. Could feel the echo of her distress, her confusion, her pain.
Pain he'd caused by revealing himself too soon, too publicly.
Pain she'd caused by rejecting him in front of hundreds of witnesses.
Kendrick slammed his fist into the dashboard, and the impact left a dent in the metal. The physical pain barely registered through the agony shredding his chest.
Rejected.
She'd looked him in the eyes, those beautiful amber eyes that had haunted his dreams for three months and rejected him. Chose another male. Chose that boy who didn't deserve her, who was using her, who would break her heart exactly the way Kendrick had known he would. The way he'd paid him to do.
Except it was supposed to happen differently. Darren was supposed to confess, to break things off, to leave her before the gathering. Before Kendrick revealed himself so that when he claimed her, she'd be free, ready perhaps even relieved to find her true mate.
Instead, Darren had failed to keep his end of the bargain. And Ashina had rejected the bond itself. Rejected him.
Kendrick forced himself to breathe, to think past the red haze of rage and hurt. He was an Alpha. He'd led his pack for five years, had survived challenges, political maneuvering and threats that would have broken lesser wolves. He could handle this. He had to handle this because the alternative losing her, living the rest of his life knowing his mate had rejected him was unthinkable.
The drive back to Moonlit Pack territory took another hour though Kendrick barely registered the passing miles. His mind was trapped in an endless loop. The moment their eyes met, the snap of the bond, the look of panic on her face, the words that had carved themselves into his soul.
"I'm in love with someone else"
"I choose him"
"Not you"
By the time he pulled through the gates of his territory, the sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of blood and fire. Appropriate, given the violence churning in his gut.
The pack house loomed ahead, a three stories of stone and wood, home to his council and visiting pack members. His own residence sat deeper in the territory, a mansion that felt more like a mausoleum since his mother died. Too many rooms. Too much silence. Too many years of waiting for a mate he'd convinced himself would never come.
Kendrick parked and sat in the driver's seat, trying to gather the scattered pieces of his control. His pack would sense his distress through their bonds. They'd have questions. They'd want answers and he had no idea what to tell them.
I found her. I lost her. I'm breaking apart from the inside and I don't know how to fix it.
A knock on his window made him flinch. Ryker Lupe stood outside, his Beta's face creased with concern. Behind him, the sun cast his shadow long across the gravel drive.
Kendrick rolled down the window "Not now."
"Too bad." Ryker's tone was gentle but firm. "You've been sitting here for ten minutes. People are starting to worry."
"Let them worry."
"Kendrick." Ryker crouched down, bringing himself to eye level. "What happened?"
Everything. Nothing. The beginning and end of his world, all in the span of five minutes beneath the gathering's midday sun.
"I found her," Kendrick said finally, his voice rough. "My mate."
Ryker's eyes widened. "That's...that's incredible. Where is she? When does she arrive?"
"She doesn't." The words tasted like ash. "She rejected me."
Silence. Then "What?" Ryker asked.
"You heard me." Kendrick shoved open the car door, forcing Ryker to step back. He climbed out and his legs felt unsteady like he'd been running for days. "She rejected the bond in front of the entire gathering. Told me she was in love with someone else."
"That's not possible." Ryker followed as Kendrick strode toward his house, away from the pack house and its curious eyes. "Mates don't reject each other. The bond is too strong."
"Apparently, her love for Darren Kale is stronger."
They reached Kendrick's front door. He shoved it open with more force than necessary and the heavy wood slammed against the interior wall. The sound echoed through the empty foyer.
Empty. Everything was so fucking empty.
Ryker closed the door behind them with considerably more care. "Who's Darren Kale?"
"Nobody." Kendrick headed straight for his study, his sanctuary. "A worthless piece of shit from her pack who's been using her for eight months."
"Using her how?"
Kendrick poured himself three fingers of whiskey, then reconsidered and filled the glass to the brim. He downed half of it in one burning gulp. "Sexually. Financially. Emotionally. Take your pick."
"And she doesn't know?"
"She thinks she's in love with him." The whiskey wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. The bond pulsed in his chest, a constant reminder that she was out there, alive and breathing and choosing someone else. "She thinks he's going to mark her, mate her, build a life with her."
"But he's not."
"No." Kendrick finished the whiskey, welcoming the burn. "He's not."
Ryker was quiet for a moment, processing. Then: "How do you know all this?"
"Because I've been investigating her for three months." Kendrick set the glass down carefully, though what he really wanted was to hurl it against the wall. "Since the moment I scented her in Silverpaw territory."
"You've known for three months?" Ryker's voice rose with disbelief. "Why didn't you approach her sooner? Why wait until the gathering?"
"Because I wanted to do it right." Kendrick turned to face his Beta, his oldest friend, and felt the weight of his failure crushing down. "I wanted to meet her properly. Court her. Give her time to know me before the bond clouded everything. I thought if I waited, if I prepared, if I made sure everything was perfect..."
"What went wrong?"
"Darren Kale went wrong." The name was poison on his tongue. "She was already involved with him when I found her. Already sleeping with him, already believing his lies about a future together."
"So you investigated him."
"Extensively." Kendrick moved to the window, staring out at his territory miles of forest and pack lands that suddenly felt like a cage. "It didn't take long to uncover the truth. He has no intention of marking her. He's stringing her along while he waits for something. I'm still not entirely sure what. But he's using her and she can't see it."
"Did you tell her?"
"I tried." The memory of her defiant face, her trembling voice, her absolute certainty that she'd chosen right made something crack in his chest. "She didn't believe me or didn't want to."
Ryker joined him at the window. "What's your plan?"
"I paid him."
"You what?"
"I paid Darren Kale ten thousand dollars to confess his deception and leave her." Kendrick's jaw clenched. "The deal was he'd break things off before the gathering, cleanly and clearly. Then I'd reveal myself, and she'd be free to accept the bond without his interference."
"But he didn't keep his end of the bargain."
"Obviously not." Kendrick's hands curled into fists. "He took my money and didn't follow through and when I revealed myself, she was still tangled up in his lies, still believing he loved her. So she rejected me."
"Jesus, Kendrick." Ryker scrubbed a hand over his face. "This is a mess."
"You think I don't know that?" The words came out sharper than intended. Kendrick took a breath, forcing his voice level. "I'm sorry. I'm not handling this well."
"You're handling it better than most would." Ryker's hand landed on Kendrick's shoulder, steady and grounding. "The bond is new. The rejection is fresh. You're allowed to fall apart."
"I'm an Alpha. I don't get to fall apart."
"You're also a wolf who just found and lost his mate in the same breath. Give yourself some grace."
Grace. Kendrick almost laughed. He felt like he was being flayed alive from the inside out. Every instinct screamed at him to go back to the gathering, to track her down, to throw her over his shoulder and carry her back here where she belonged. To mark her, claim her, make her understand that she was his and nothing, not Darren Kale, not her own stubborn will, not fate itself would keep them apart.
"I can feel her," Kendrick admitted quietly. "Right now. She's still at the gathering. Still in pain. And I can't..." His voice cracked. "I can't do anything about it."
"You could go to her."
"She made her choice clear."
"She made a scared choice. A confused choice." Ryker's grip on his shoulder tightened. "Give her time. Let her see Darren's true colors then approach her again."
Time. Kendrick had already given her three months while he prepared, planned, tried to make everything perfect and what had it gotten him? Rejection. Humiliation. This gnawing emptiness in his chest where something vital should be.
"I'm not good at waiting," Kendrick said.
"I know but you can't force this. You can't force her."
Can't he?
The thought slithered through his mind like smoke. Ancient pack laws existed for situations like this. Laws that allowed an Alpha to claim his mate if she was in danger either physical or otherwise. Laws that recognized that sometimes, fate needed a firm hand.
Darren Kale was hurting her. Using her. Leading her toward heartbreak and ruin. That was a threat, wasn't it? A danger that Kendrick as her mate was obligated to protect her from?
"Kendrick." Ryker's voice held a warning. "I know that look. Whatever you're thinking, don't."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're thinking about the claiming laws. About forcing the mark."
Kendrick didn't deny it.
"You can't do that," Ryker said firmly. "Those laws are archaic. Controversial. Most modern packs reject them entirely and even if they're technically legal, using them would..."
"Would what? Make her hate me?" Kendrick turned to face his Beta, and he knew his eyes had bled to wolf-gold. "She already rejected me, Ryker. She's already chosen someone else. How much worse can it get?"
"It can get a lot worse if you violate her autonomy." Ryker's expression was grave. "I understand you're in pain. I understand the bond is driving you insane but forcing her to accept you won't make her love you. It'll make her resent you. Possibly forever."
"She'll understand eventually." Even as he said it, Kendrick heard how weak it sounded. How desperate. "Once Darren reveals his true nature. Once she's free of his influence. She'll see that I was protecting her."
"Or she'll see that you're no better than him. That you also took away her choice."
The words hit like a punch. Kendrick flinched, turning back to the window.
"I'm not like him," he said quietly.
"Then don't act like him." Ryker moved to stand beside him. "Give her time. Let her come to you willingly. Trust the bond."
"The bond she rejected."
"The bond she's scared of." Ryker's voice softened. "Think about it from her perspective. She's been with this guy for eight months. She thinks she loves him then suddenly this powerful Alpha. An Alpha with a reputation for being cold and ruthless appears and claims her. Of course she's scared. Of course she ran to what felt familiar."
Kendrick wanted to argue, but he couldn't. Because Ryker was right. Ashina had looked terrified when the bond snapped. Overwhelmed. Lost. And he'd made it worse by confronting her so publicly, by revealing what he knew about Darren, by essentially backing her into a corner.
"I've fucked this up," Kendrick said.
"Yeah." Ryker's agreement would have been funny if everything didn't hurt so much. "But you can unfuck it. Give her space. Let Darren hang himself with his own rope. Then approach her again, gently this time. Show her you're not the monster everyone says you are."
Space. Time. Patience.
Everything Kendrick was terrible at.
His wolf snarled in frustration, pacing in tight circles beneath his skin. It wanted to hunt, to claim, to drag their mate back to their den and never let her leave. It didn't understand human concepts like consent and courtship and waiting.
It only understood that their mate was out there, unmarked and in pain, and they weren't with her.
"How long?" Kendrick asked.
"How long what?"
"How long do I give her?"
Ryker was quiet for a long moment. "As long as she needs."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only answer I have." Ryker's hand landed on his shoulder again. "I know it's hard. I know it goes against every instinct but if you want her to choose you freely, you have to let her make that choice."
Kendrick closed his eyes, feeling the bond pulse between them. Still there. Still connecting them. Still pulling at something fundamental in his chest.
She hadn't broken it completely. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe the bond was too strong, too inevitable or maybe... and this thought made his stomach turn maybe she was strong enough to resist it indefinitely. Strong enough to choose a lie over truth, a boy over her mate, temporary comfort over eternal belonging.
"What if she never chooses me?" The question came out barely above a whisper.
Ryker didn't answer immediately and Kendrick appreciated the honesty in that because they both knew it was possible. Rare, but possible. Some wolves did reject their mates permanently, living half-lives of regret and emptiness rather than accepting what fate had given them.
"Then you'll survive," Ryker said finally. "The same way you've survived everything else but I don't think it'll come to that. Give her time, Kendrick. Trust the bond. Trust her." Trust. Another thing Kendrick was terrible at but what choice did he have?
He couldn't drag her back here kicking and screaming, no matter how much his wolf demanded it. Couldn't force the mark on her, despite the ancient laws that technically allowed it. Couldn't make her love him through sheer force of will.
All he could do was wait, watch and hope that Darren revealed his true nature before Ashina's rejection became permanent.
"Fine," Kendrick said. "I'll give her time."
"How much time?"
"I don't know. A few days. A week. Long enough for Darren to show his hand." Kendrick's jaw clenched. "But I'm not going to just sit here and do nothing."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I'm going to make sure she's safe. From a distance."
Ryker's eyes narrowed. "Kendrick"
"I won't approach her. I won't interfere. But I'm not going to leave her unprotected with a male I know is using her."
"That's called stalking."
"That's called protecting my mate." Kendrick's voice hardened. "Marked or not, rejected or not, she's still mine and I take care of what's mine."
"This is a bad idea."
"Probably but it's the only compromise I'm willing to make." Kendrick moved toward the door. "I'm going back out."
"Now? It's almost dark."
"I know what time it is." Kendrick grabbed his keys from the table. "I need to check on her. Make sure she made it home safely."
"She's not your responsibility yet."
"She's been my responsibility since the moment I scented her." Kendrick met Ryker's gaze, and he knew his eyes were still wolf-gold, still barely human. "You can come with me if you want to keep me from doing something stupid or you can stay here. Your choice."
Ryker sighed, long and weary. "You're going to give yourself away."
"I'll be careful."
"You're going to scare her."
"She won't know I'm there."
"Kendrick"
"I'm going, Ryker. With or without your approval." Kendrick softened his voice slightly. "I need to see her. Need to know she's okay. Just...let me have this."
Another sigh. "Fine. But I'm coming with you. Someone needs to keep you from doing something we'll both regret."
Relief flooded through Kendrick, though he'd never admit it aloud. Having Ryker there meant having a tether, someone to pull him back if his control slipped and his control was already hanging by a thread.
They drove in silence, Ryker behind the wheel this time. Kendrick sat in the passenger seat, eyes closed, following the bond like a compass. It led them south, toward Silverpaw territory, toward a small female who'd upended his entire existence in the span of five minutes.
"You know this is crazy, right?" Ryker said as they crossed into neutral territory.
"Yes."
"You know she rejected you less than six hours ago."
"Yes."
"You know if anyone sees you..."
"I know." Kendrick opened his eyes. "But I don't care. I need to see her, Ryker. Need to know she's safe. That's all. Then we'll leave."
Ryker didn't look convinced but he didn't argue further.
They parked on the outskirts of Silverpaw territory in the trees where the car wouldn't be easily spotted. Then Kendrick shifted, letting his wolf form take over. It was easier this way and less human thought, more animal instinct. Less chance of overthinking what he was about to do.
Ryker shifted beside him, a sleek grey wolf to Kendrick's massive black one. Together they moved through the forest, silent as shadows.
Kendrick's wolf knew where to go. The bond pulled him unerringly toward her location, through trees and over streams until the scattered houses of Silverpaw's residential area came into view.
There. Third house from the left. Small, well-maintained, with warm light spilling from the downstairs windows.
Kendrick circled around to the back, keeping to the tree line. Ryker followed, radiating disapproval through their pack bond.
"This is a bad idea" his Beta sent through their mental link.
"Noted" Kendrick sent back.
He crept closer, staying low in the shadows. A large oak tree grew near the house, its branches reaching toward a second-story window. Kendrick's wolf recognized the scent coming from that window, cinnamon and honey and his mate.
Her room.
His wolf whined, desperate to be closer.
We're just checking on her, Kendrick told himself. Making sure she's safe. That's all.
He shifted back to human form, ignoring the bite of cool air on his naked skin, and climbed the oak with practiced ease. He'd grown up in forests, had spent years running territory patrols. Tree climbing was second nature.
From a thick branch, he had a clear view into her window and there she was.
Ashina sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, face buried in her arms. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs. Even from here, he could see the tear tracks on her cheeks, the devastation written in every line of her body.
His wolf howled. Not aloud. he kept that locked inside but the sound reverberated through his entire being. She was hurting. Their mate was hurting. And he wasn't with her, couldn't comfort her, couldn't make it better. Because she'd chosen to hurt alone rather than accept him.
Kendrick's hands gripped the tree branch hard enough to leave indentations in the bark. Every instinct screamed at him to go to her. To climb through that window, to pull her into his arms, to mark her and claim her and make her understand that she was his and he would never, ever let anyone hurt her again. But he didn't.
He stayed in the tree like some lovesick fool, watching his mate cry over another male, feeling pieces of himself crack and splinter with every sob.
"This is torture", he sent to Ryker.
"Yes," came the simple reply. "But it's the right torture. The kind that means you care more about her than yourself."
Did he? Or was he just a coward, too afraid of her rejection to take what he wanted?
Below, through the window, Ashina lifted her head. She looked around her room like she was seeing it for the first time, or maybe for the last time. Then she stood, walked to her mirror, and touched her neck.
That unmarked, perfect skin that should bear his claim.
She traced the spot where a mate mark should be, and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.
Kendrick's vision blurred. His wolf was clawing at him now, demanding action, demanding he fix this, demanding he claim what fate had given him.
Soon, he promised his wolf. Soon.
Because Ryker was right. He couldn't force her. Couldn't steal her choice the way Darren had stolen her trust. But he could wait. Could watch. Could be ready for the moment when she finally saw the truth. And when that moment came when Darren revealed himself for the liar he was, when Ashina's heart broke and she needed someone to catch her, Kendrick would be there.
He would wait as long as it took. Even if the waiting destroyed him.
Ashina lay down on her bed, curling into herself, and Kendrick watched until her breathing evened out, until she finally found escape in sleep. Only then did he climb down from the tree, shift back to wolf form, and follow Ryker back through the forest but the image of her tear-stained face, her trembling hands, her unmarked neck those would haunt him for days to come.
Hold on, he thought toward her through the bond, though he knew she couldn't hear him. Just hold on a little longer. I'm coming for you and this time, I won't let you go.