Chapter 2
I shrugged somewhat dully. "She decided to go out with Kevin Layng instead of me."
Mom seemed very confused. "Kevin Layng? But he's skinny, dorky, and has a little dick."
My eyes widened at her. "Why do you know that?"
She shrugged. "Moms talk. But why him? Does he have something on her?"
"I was wondering that too," I sighed, taking another swig of my beer. "That, or she has a fetish for wimpy guys she can control."
"Either way, you can do better than a slag like her, baby," mom announced, turning back to the counter and resuming arranging the contents of her purse. I had a view of her from the side now, and I had to admit again, my friends weren't wrong. Mom kept herself in good shape, clearly, since she had a tight butt under that skirt, and her tits were definitely nothing to scoff at. Even in her blouse, you knew they were good stuff. Her dark hair was silky and thick, made for pulling on when you fucked her from be-
Wait, what the Hell was I thinking?!
"So I got cancelled on by my bitch ex," I sighed, shaking my head. "What about you?"
"I don't think you need to know, Aaron," she said as she futzed with the contents of the clutch. "Not the sort of thing moms discuss with their sons."
"You would if I was your daughter," I pointed out. "Mom, I'm nearly nineteen, and I care," I said, still watching her. "I wanna know if I need to go and kick the crap out of Ted. Because I totally could, you know."
She paused and turned to look at me for a moment, observing me. "You could, couldn't you?" she mused. "No, he didn't do anything to disgrace me, if that's what you're asking, but he was something of a..."
"Douche?" I offered.
"Well, yes," she relented. "He was a douche. We had just started our date over drinks when he began talking about the need for a threesome to happen. He didn't mind whether it was me and another woman with him, or me with him and another guy, but he wanted to make it happen. And, conveniently, he just happened to have the numbers of a man or a woman who would no doubt be game."
She folded her arms again and scowled at her point on the wall. "Needless to say, our date ended promptly. He even had the nerve to ask if I could drive him home afterward. Douche..."
"Yeah, not the best date to have gone to the trouble of shaving for, mom," I laughed before catching myself and shutting up tight. Mom's eyes widened and she blushed rather furiously.
"You heard that, hm?" she mumbled, looking at the floor now.
"I... yeah..." I admitted, feeling like an idiot now. "Seriously, though, it's not a big deal, mom. I know you're not out dating to find a new life partner, which kinda narrows down the reasoning. I mean, I'm not dating to find the right girl for the rest of my life, am I?"
"Well, of course not, but you're a horny teenage boy, you're supposed to be out trying to get laid," she sighed, gesturing somewhat helplessly with one hand. "What's my excuse?"
"You're a human being and a pretty woman with needs who likes the dopamine rush of getting laid," I reasoned. "You're not a nun, mom. Dad's been outta the picture for a long time now, and good riddance. Am I supposed to expect you to act like some uptight old spinster?"
She sighed and her posture sagged a little. "Well, no, but it's hard to admit in front of your own son that you're out there trying to get a little action. I don't want you thinking less of me."
"I wouldn't mom; I'd think there was something wrong if you weren't," I said simply. "And I'm sorry Ted turned out to be yet another douche."
"Seems to be my luck," she moped, ripple-tapping her fingers against her arm while she gazed at our floor. "So we both lost out big tonight. I'm sorry, baby. Yours didn't even get off the ground, and the choice was made for you."
"Probably for the best," I said, shrugging with both hands on my beer. "Since you were gonna be out, I'd invited Gina back here. Was planning on taking advantage of the big screen."
"Naughty boy," mom laughed. "Maybe it's just as well she cancelled, since my date was a dud, and I would've come back to see my son horizontal and superimposed with some little slag on my good carpet."
"Mom!" I laughed, shaking my head while she giggled. "Yeah, might've been awkward."
"Not to mention the hasty retreat I'd have to beat upstairs and stay locked in my bedroom until you finished," she added. "I would've already been frustrated, and knowing that two horny teens were having hot jungle-monkey sex in my living room might've made things... worse."
"Worse?" I asked.
Mom blushed again. "I date so that I don't keep killing off my battery-operated toys," she mumbled. "I have needs, you know, always had 'em."
I knew mom was rather adventurous back years ago when she met dad, but this was a weird conversation to be having a Friday night, but we were both feeling pretty raw and rather resentful, clearly. Venting was what we wanted.
So why not?
"It's gettin' on to too late for either of us to salvage the evening by going out, so we can just sit here at the table and complain," I suggested. "It's what we both wanna do, after all, shred our exes."
"But you're my son, I can't vent about that with you," she said rather uncertainly. "I mean, you don't need to know those things about me."
"Mom, I already know you shaved and didn't wear underwear tonight," I pointed out. "It beats thinkin' you're repressed somehow."
"I most certainly am not, young man," she huffed, looking somewhat indignant at the inference. "It's just a weird situation to ponder."
"Look, you can sit here and bitch about how much people suck with me, or you can go to your room and murder another toy," I pointed out. "Now at the end of the day, which is actually more therapeutic?"