The enjoyable school trip ended, and we soon settled back into our usual routine.
As part of that routine, I was walking to school with Nagisa, Sugino, and Okajima—a rare occasion for the four of us to be together. Suddenly, as if remembering something important, Sugino changed the subject.
"Hey, did you guys hear the news? About the new student?"
"Yeah, you mean the email Mr. Karasuma sent out?"
I nodded and pulled out my phone, opening the message Mr. Karasuma had sent to everyone the day before.
The email read:
"A new student will join your class starting tomorrow. You may find their physical appearance surprising, but I ask that you remain calm and avoid making a scene."
The phrase "surprising physical appearance" piqued my curiosity. I wondered if the student had very specific circumstances, but I didn't dwell on it.
At least, I didn't. Others, however, felt differently. Okajima was apparently so curious that he had messaged Mr. Karasuma for more details.
"I couldn't help myself, so I emailed Mr. Karasuma asking if he had a photo. He sent me this."
Okajima opened his inbox and showed us the screen.
A girl's face appeared on the display, her features radiating sharp intelligence.
"What? She's actually beautiful."
"Nozaki, you think so too?"
"Yeah, she's stunning by any standard. But transferring this late in the year means she's definitely not a normal student."
"I have to agree with you there."
"And since she's described as a student, she must be our age, not older like Professor Bitch."
"By 'older,' you mean..."
"Regardless of whether Professor Bitch is getting on in years or not, this girl doesn't look like an assassin at all."
When I indirectly called Professor Bitch "old," Nagisa and Sugino shot me disapproving looks. The problem was that neither of them actually denied it.
Nagisa, Sugino... those silent stares make you accomplices in my crime.
In any case, I put Professor Bitch out of my mind; the new student was far more interesting.
Her arrival at this timing meant she was undoubtedly tied to the assassination mission. But what kind of person would she be?
I had never experienced a "new transfer student" event before, so I was brimming with curiosity.
●○●○●
"...There's something strange next to my seat."
I froze the moment I entered the classroom.
The back corner by the window—the empty space right next to my desk—now housed a massive, black monolith.
What was this thing? It looked like a monument from a sci-fi film about Mars. How did this illegal structure get built next to my desk while I was away on a trip?
"Nozaki, there's something huge next to you."
"Wait, don't tell me this thing is the new student."
As I cautiously approached my seat, the top third of the black monolith suddenly lit up like a display screen. A simple electronic chime sounded, and a familiar face appeared.
I entered "The Zone"—that state of absolute focus—to examine her features. I recognized her immediately; it was the face Okajima had shown us this morning.
"Good morning, everyone. My name is the Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery. I have transferred to your class effective today. I look forward to working with you."
As soon as she finished her brief introduction, the screen went dark, as if she had nothing else to say. Silence filled the room.
Was this for real? Was I supposed to study next to this Martian monument? Next to a girl who was actually a machine packed with every bizarre trait imaginable? I couldn't keep up with the sheer absurdity of it; I was going to lose my mind.
"N-Nozaki. Be happy, man. The girl you called beautiful moved in right next to you."
"I'm going to beat you senseless, Sugino."
If she were a human girl, I would have been thrilled. But this "monolith" was only a girl in her programming settings. That didn't interest me in the least.
While she possessed traits that might attract sci-fi or anime fans—2D, a fixed battery, beautiful, a literal "box girl," and quiet—the sheer overload of tropes made it exhausting even to mock.
But wait, who authorized this machine's enrollment? Her owner? Or Mr. Karasuma, the man in charge of the assassination?
...It was definitely the latter.
Just as I suspected, the inevitable happened.
"I... I know you're already aware, but I'll introduce the new student. This is the Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery, arriving from Norway."
"It is a pleasure to meet you."
Mr. Karasuma's voice trembled—not with anger, but with pure frustration at this illogical reality. As he finished writing her name on the chalkboard, the chalk snapped in his hand.
Mr. Karasuma was truly suffering. If I were in his shoes, the sheer amount of things to protest would drive me insane.
"Hahaha, you guys are hilarious."
"Don't laugh, teacher! You're just as eccentric as she is! For your information, she was registered as a student because she possesses the ability to think and a human face."
What a forced justification! It seemed the government was willing to do anything to kill Koro-sensei.
But what we should worry about now, beyond the fate of the world or our personal safety, was the mental health of Mr. Karasuma, who had to face the government's impossible demands.
"She will stay in her place and keep her muzzles pointed at you constantly. And you can't retaliate, because your teaching contract states that you 'cannot harm the students'."
"I see. They've exploited the contract terms brilliantly, turning a cold machine into an official student. Quite a clever idea."
Koro-sensei nodded in admiration, and I found myself agreeing. I thought to myself: Right, I completely missed the fact that such a legal loophole existed.
"Very well, Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery. Welcome to Class E!"
"Yes, I am pleased to be here, Koro-sensei."
And so, a strange classmate joined us... or rather, a strange machine.
Her joining was fine, but I—or rather, every boy of this age whose pulse quickens at words like "fixed artillery" or "A.I."—was wondering about one thing.
(She claims to be fixed artillery, but I don't see any sign of weapons or muzzles...)
I stole a glance at her out of the corner of my eye, but saw only a smooth metal surface.
How would she attack? As I studied her structure, trying to deduce her combat method, Koro-sensei noticed my gaze.
"Nozaki-kun! Shame on you! Even if the new classmate is beautiful, you shouldn't direct such scrutinizing and suspicious looks at her! What if you make her feel nervous?!"
"No one was looking at her suspiciously!"
"No one said that, teacher..."
"I did indeed sense those gazes. However, a neighbor's scrutiny poses no problem for me. Nevertheless, it is not commendable behavior."
"Who would stare suspiciously at a hollow machine?!"
"If I weren't a machine, would you have stared then?"
".... I wouldn't!"
"What's with the sudden silence?!" everyone shouted in unison.
In the middle of this argument, a sharp mechanical sound echoed. The side of the black monolith—the new student—slid open.
We watched in awe as countless weapons and muzzles emerged from the openings, held by small robotic arms.
"This is incredible!"
As if responding to Sugino's innocent comment, the protruding muzzles began forming a dense hail of fire.
Thousands of BB pellets erupted from the machine, whistling over the heads of the students in the front rows.
"Waaaaaaaagh!!?"
"What is happening?!"
The bullets spared no one, launching toward Koro-sensei at the podium and ricocheting off the walls and chalkboard. Looking closely, I saw stray pellets hitting students' backs and ricochets striking the heads of those who had dove for cover.
"Whoa!?"
I thought the pellets wouldn't reach my seat in the back, but I spotted a ricochet from the chalkboard heading straight for my face. I instinctively tilted my head to dodge it.
The force was significant. Although I avoided a direct hit to my face, the pellets that struck my body were powerful enough to leave visible creases in my uniform.
If the pellets reached this far with such force, the situation was dangerous.
I felt worried for my classmates in the front rows—the ones who had shared the school trip with me.
I tried to think of a solution, but honestly, I couldn't find a suitable idea. Trying to disable her might result in her destruction, which would cause me unthinkable problems.
"Four shotguns and two machine guns. It truly is a heavy barrage, but my students do this all the time. And wait, Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery? Firing during class is strictly prohibited."
"..."
The machine retracted her weapons in silence after the teacher's scolding. I wondered: is she an understanding and obedient machine? But I soon realized I was wrong.
After hiding the weapons—since I sat right next to her—I could hear a faint mechanical hum: the sound of internal calculations and programming.
"I will be more careful next time. Now, I shall proceed to the next attack."
This machine understands nothing at all!
"Recalculating trajectory, correcting firing angle, proceeding to self-evolution phase 5-28-02."
Self-evolution? Confusion washed over me, and I stared at her without hiding my feelings. Even more muzzles emerged from within her.
The appearance didn't seem to change much, but she continued the assault. As I watched the pellets fly, I noticed Koro-sensei remained perfectly calm.
The barrage was dense, but less so than if we all fired at once. The teacher was easily slapping away the pellets aimed at his face with a piece of chalk. But in the next second, a piece of the tentacle holding the chalk flew off.
"Fingertip destruction confirmed. Effectiveness of additional secondary cannons confirmed."
Secondary cannons? While I wondered what she meant, I noticed tiny muzzles added below the machine guns that hadn't been there moments ago.
"Kill probability in the next burst: 0.001%. The one after: 0.003%. Based on calculations... kill probability before graduation: over 90%."
This machine didn't care about the harm we might suffer. Her only goal was assassination, and she calculated the shortest and most logical path to achieve it. From a technical standpoint, it made sense, but it completely hindered our studies. She was a massive nuisance.
As I thought about this, the first period ended quickly. But the disaster wasn't over...
Thousands of rubber pellets covered the floor to the point where there was nowhere to step. The classroom was a disaster, and resentment was clear on everyone's faces.
"Are we supposed to clean up all this filth?"
I silently agreed with Isogai. I took out the cleaning tools, and we got to work.
The mess looked like the aftermath of an ammo dump explosion.
"What a total disaster."
As I swept up the pellets, Kurahashi came over with a dustpan to help.
"Are you okay, Kurahashi? Pellets were ricocheting everywhere. Did you get hurt?"
"Yes, I'm fine... but honestly, I was scared. Unlike when we fire together as a class, I didn't know where the bullets were coming from this time."
"You're right about that..."
As we talked and cleaned, the Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery continued to fire, indifferent to our situation or the cleanup.
"Hey, you! Artillery girl! Don't you have a self-cleaning function?!"
"..."
"Dammit, she's ignoring us completely."
"Leave her, Yoshida. There's no point arguing with a hollow machine."
No one in the class disagreed with Yoshida and Muramatsu's bitter words.
●○●○●
"And that's the situation in a nutshell. Can you do something about this, Mr. Karasuma?"
After fourth period ended and lunch break began, I went with Isogai and Kataoka to Mr. Karasuma to complain about the random firing and demand an improvement.
The reason I was with the class representatives was that I was the most accustomed to speaking with Mr. Karasuma.
"I am sorry. It was never my intention for your lessons to be obstructed. I contacted the government, but the response was: 'Leave it to the fixed artillery's discretion'."
"Meaning the situation will stay the same."
"...Unfortunately, that is the reality."
I saw Isogai and Kataoka's faces darken with frustration.
Now we were in real trouble. If Mr. Karasuma was powerless, the chance of us finding a solution ourselves was nearly zero.
What a headache. At this rate, we won't be able to study, and the situation has become genuinely dangerous.
Isn't there a way to stop this annoying and dangerous assassination? Or even pause it?
"Nozaki-kun. She is also your classmate; you shouldn't treat her so coldly."
"...So, do you want us to throw her a 'welcome party' during the Ethics class in sixth period?"
While I searched for a solution, Koro-sensei dropped words that sounded like a warning. Sarcasm slipped out of me because I didn't grasp his true intent.
But Koro-sensei didn't mind my sarcasm; instead, he welcomed it, spreading his tentacles high and speaking in a confident voice:
"Nu-ru-fu-fu-fu! I was waiting for that suggestion from you! Very well, as you said, the sixth period will be a 'welcoming assassination' for your new classmate! This will be the 'Second Group Assassination'!"
"What?!"
"Nozaki-kun. You are in charge of the organization. Make sure to win her over and persuade her well."
Koro-sensei said that, then took his wallet from the desk and flew out the window.
That man... he threw an impossible responsibility onto my shoulders and went to have lunch! What am I supposed to do now?
"...Nozaki-kun. I'm sorry we got you mixed up in this."
"It's fine..."
I suppressed a deep sigh and left the faculty room with Isogai and Kataoka.
Koro-sensei's impossible orders spun in my head. What was he really aiming for?
"Sorry we made you intervene in this, Nozaki."
"Really, I apologize."
"Don't worry about it."
I returned to the classroom with them trailing behind me, still apologizing. All the way back, Koro-sensei's words echoed in my mind.
A welcome party for a machine? What am I supposed to do? And changing Ethics class to a group assassination?
...Wait a minute. The task I was given was only to "persuade that fixed artillery," right?
Because the time is already set (sixth period), and the content is set (group assassination).
So, the problem is: how will I persuade that machine? She claims to be "autonomously thinking," but in the end, she's just a machine. Will my words matter?
No, wait. Before thinking about the welcome party, what do we need to invite someone to something?
First, time and place. That's settled—it's in the classroom during sixth period.
What else? Before time and place... we need an "interesting topic."
What would interest that artillery girl sitting next to me? ...Undoubtedly, "assassinating Koro-sensei." Because she only came to this class for that.
...Wait? So all I really need is to persuade her with that logic alone.
Time, place, reason, and motive... Koro-sensei prepared everything. The only remaining problem is how I will do the persuading.
Thirty minutes left of lunch break. There's another break before sixth period, but it will surely be wasted on cleaning.
I have to persuade her before lunch break ends somehow.
I opened the classroom door and looked directly at the Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery. My classmates gathered around me.
Everyone began asking about the results of our negotiations with Mr. Karasuma, and the class reps explained what happened.
"How are we supposed to persuade that thing?!"
"Nozaki, persuading a machine is completely impossible."
"...Yoshida?"
While everyone surrounded me, Yoshida spoke to me—a rare occurrence since he usually didn't talk to me. He looked quite embarrassed.
Yoshida scratched his head and continued in a serious tone:
"It's a bit different, but I have some experience dealing with machines... or let's say I'm confident in my understanding of them. Machines usually only follow orders."
"...Well, if machines were flexible in their thinking, limb-crushing accidents wouldn't happen in factories."
"Exactly. A machine only does what it's told. That's normal. And even 'Artificial Intelligence' under current technology—I don't think it's much different from that."
"Normal... huh?"
I thought about Yoshida's words.
If he was right, a normal machine only does what it's ordered to do. That is, "if it were normal."
But it's hard to define what exactly a "normal machine" is in this situation.
"I must start by having a dialogue with her first."
A dialogue with an AI. When I say those words, they have a magical ring to them. Like the title of a sci-fi movie.
Truly, the reality I live in is amazing, and now I am trying to face this movie-like reality.
"Nozaki-kun, how are you going to have this dialogue?"
"I'll try to talk to her with what I can say. Please listen to what happens, because the sixth-period class will depend on the outcome of this conversation."
I answered Kurahashi's question briefly, then began walking slowly until I stood before that towering black spire next to my seat... I mean, before my classmate, the Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery.
"Hey, Autonomously Intelligence Fixed Artillery. I have an assassination plan I want to propose to you."
"...An assassination plan?"
My words seemed to pique her interest. She responded, and her face appeared on the screen.
And so, the dialogue began between me—Nozaki Keiichi, nicknamed the "Silver Reaper" at Kunugigaoka School—and that beautiful 2D girl.
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