Once upon a time, in a park far in the distant lands, a boy sat on a swing, pushing himself higher and higher while eating chocolate mint ice cream.
Suddenly, the child jumped off and sprinted toward the nearest trashcan before dunking the ice cream straight inside.
"It tastes like toothpaste." he said.
Some people would call that immature. Having such childish tastes at his age was supposedly weird. Weak, even.
Naoki thought otherwise.
Knowing what you like and throwing away the things you hate sounded pretty mature to him.
Saitou told him that.
"..."
Speaking of Saitou...
His advice, if you could even call it that, was... technically right. Objectively speaking, feeling guilty over killing someone who had done far worse things didn't make much sense.
And realizing that made Naoki feel a little better.
Of course, deep down, he knew he was just making excuses for himself. If he actually thought about what happened that day, really thought about it, then all the guilt would come rushing back immediately.
So all he had to do was avoid thinking about it.
And Naoki was amazing at that.
Amazing at not thinking at all.
Anyway, back to Saitou.
The way he said those things... it felt off.
Not the words themselves, but the way he believed them so naturally.
Obviously, something was wrong with his psyche. But he was still his best friend at the end of the day, so Naoki had to figure out what happened to make him like that.
So he could help him better.
And the best way to do that was sticking close to him.
Maybe not the smartest method.
But it was Naoki's method now.
So the plan was simple.
Right now, he would finish his mission. After that, he'd get Mr. Watanabe's approval, then the King's approval too, and after all that, he could finally start going on missions with Saitou.
Then boom.
Happy ending.
Which means the very core of this master plan was the mission itself...
...the mission Naoki still hadn't actually started.
"Right, I still have to do my mission instead of just thinking about it."
He ran off this morning planning to do exactly that, yet somehow got sidetracked and ended up here instead.
But that wasn't his fault.
Obviously.
The extremely colorful ice-cream truck with its flashy lights had seductively lured him in.
Though, naturally, he regretted trying a new flavor afterward.
Naoki might've been a glutton, but he still had standards.
He also had a plan for the mission.
A real plan.
"mwuhehehe... master plan."
Unfortunately, the plan this time wasn't exactly simple.
Well... it was simple if everything went perfectly.
The problem was that the entire thing relied heavily on luck, good timing, and the kidnappers behaving exactly the way Naoki imagined they would. Which, now that he thought about it, sounded significantly less reassuring.
But first, what even was his mission again?
"..."
"..."
Ahem
But first, what even was his mission again?
"Oh, right... sorry."
Cough, cough
"A church suddenly appeared in the middle of the outskirts. You know how it is these days; religion isn't nearly as popular as it used to be, so a church materialising out of thin air is bound to be suspicious."
Naoki spoke in a raspy, hoarse voice. It sounded nothing like the King, but it was the best old-man impression he could manage.
He continued.
"Kids from the outskirts have also been going missing more frequently since it appeared. We don't usually keep records of them, but the guards noticed there've been fewer beggars during patrols."
Naoki had done his own investigation after hearing that.
And by investigation, he meant repeatedly spam-calling the royal palace until the King finally answered.
Somehow, that actually worked.
The King ended up answering all his questions and even gave him the information he needed.
First important detail: anyone who entered the church never came back out. Even stranger, every video recording would cut off the moment you got close to the place.
Just hearing that made Naoki jealous of Saitou's mission all over again.
Seriously, why couldn't the princess just keep quiet back then?
Well, to be fair, he was the one who insisted on getting a mission.
But still...
He let out a loud sigh.
When Naoki asked why they hadn't simply raided or bombed the church already, the answer was surprisingly reasonable. Apparently, they had only discovered the place a month ago, and the "people who never came back" were actually just a single investigation team.
Granted, their noble sacrifice should not be taken lightly, but the clarification still reassured him a little.
But the King, in all his wisdom, decided it would be a wonderful opportunity to hand the mission over to a child instead and test that child's strength.
'Wow. What a fantastic king indeed.'
Enough sarcasm.
At this point, Naoki wasn't even using the swing anymore. He was just circling around the tree where his duffle bag lay int one of the protruding roots.
Clearly stressed.
He kept replaying every tiny detail in his head, over and over.
To be honest, he was beginning to think his master plan might not actually be very masterful.
'Preposterous. Of course it's a masterfully crafted plan.'
'And everything I need is in that duffle bag.'
Naoki grabbed the bag and unzipped it.
The moment he looked inside, his eyes immediately lit up.
Just like that, every tiny doubt he'd been having about the plan seemed to disappear completely.
Inside were torn, filthy clothes, a jar filled with dirt, a bottle of oil, and a heavily violated doll missing one of its eyes.
...
How exactly were these supposed to help?
Well, the plan itself was simple.
Get kidnapped.
'Of course, it's genius.'
It wasn't.
'A lot of people already say I look like a child, so getting kidnapped should be the easy part. And obviously the kidnappers won't just kill the newest batch immediately... probably.'
Hopefully.
As he went through the plan once again, he started changing into the torn-up clothes.
'I already called the King too. Later tonight, he can send his men to raid the place. Then, while the kidnappers are busy holding everyone hostage, I can help from the inside and take them down.'
He opened the jar and dumped dirt onto his hair before rubbing it around thoroughly. After that came the oil.
A terrible feeling.
Still, he committed to it completely, even rolling around the dusty playground a few times for authenticity.
'And there's no way they'd waste actual restraints on a bunch of half-starved kids. At most, they'll tie us up with cheap rope and throw us all into some cage.'
Honestly, when he thought about it like that, the plan sounded even smarter.
He climbed up the tree like a little monkey, took a deep breath, then purposely let himself fall.
THUD
Pain immediately shot through his arms and legs as he hit the ground awkwardly.
"...GHHH-"
Okay.
That hurt way more than expected.
Naoki curled slightly on the dirt, clutching his arm while forcing himself not to scream. His knees were already starting to sting, faint bruises slowly forming beneath the skin.
And to make things worse, he still hadn't fully healed from the explosion.
The impact rattled the lingering injuries all over again, sending a sharp ache through his back and arm strong enough to make his vision blur for a second.
Still...
An actor had to commit to the bit.
'Think of something else, think of something else. Right... the cage.'
Trying to distract himself from the pain shooting through his body, Naoki forced his thoughts back onto the mission.
More specifically, the part where he'd supposedly end up trapped inside a cage.
'Well... the cage won't matter anyway. Once the raid starts, they'll drag us out to use as hostages.'
Naoki nodded to himself.
Yes.
That part definitely sounded logical enough.
This was absolutely foolproof.
A flawless strategy crafted by a flawless mind.
By the time he finished his preparations, he looked less like a mercenary and more like a child who had survived inside a garbage bin for three weeks straight.
Perfect.
With the disguise complete and the plan fully reviewed, all that remained was actually carrying it out.
Granted, asking for backup would probably hurt his credibility a little. It made him seem less capable compared to someone like Saitou.
But honestly, this plan proved something far more important.
How smart and cooperative he could be.
Besides, expecting him to handle all of this alone was ridiculous in the first place. Saitou at least had Kuromaku helping him before. Meanwhile, Naoki got shoved into this mission with nothing.
Seriously, excuses like "I'm busy" or "I wouldn't be much help anyway since transmissions get cut off near the church" weren't enough to justify abandoning him.
Still...
Ignoring all of that...
'This is...'
"Truly," Naoki whispered dramatically while lying spread out across the grass, "the perfect plan."