🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Peace lasts exactly 12 seconds.
That's how long it takes before Zoro begins plotting his escape again.
Alex watches from across the dining hall as Zoro looks left, looks right, and—for reasons only Zoro understands—decides that jumping the chair repeatedly is the optimal strategy.
The rope creaks.The chair hops forward.Then again.And again.
Small jumps.Tiniest hops imaginable.
But somehow—somehow—Zoro is gaining distance.
A collective gasp ripples across the Straw Hats as they watch their swordsman literally chair-hop toward freedom.
The noise reaches Alex.
He sighs.
Deeply.
Like a disappointed cosmic parent.
He teleports.
🔶 POV: Zoro (First-Person)
"I'M FREE! THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY—"
A hand lands on my shoulder.
NO.
NOT AGAIN.
I glance up.
The faceless giant stands behind me.
OH COME ON—
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Without a word, Alex picks up Zoro—chair and all—and places him back in the original spot.
Then—
He summons full welding equipment.
Mask.Torch.Metal gloves.A giant toolbox.A rolling cart.A work light.
The entire dining hall falls silent.
Alex snaps his fingers.
The wooden chair transforms into solid metal.
The portion of the floor beneath Zoro becomes metal as well.
Then Alex kneels…
…and welds the chair to the floor.
Perfectly.Permanently.Unbreakably.
He pats Zoro's shoulder.
"There. Now you can't wander off."
Zoro stares at the welded metal in pure, vibrating rage.
Alex adds:
"Your arms are still free. Be grateful.Otherwise I'd assign a Hive member to feed you like a baby again."
He leans in.
"Baby Zoro.Googoo gaga."
Zoro screams into the void.
🔶 POV: Usopp (First-Person)
I fall out of my chair.
I fall out of my chair and roll across the floor laughing.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
🔶 POV: Sanji (First-Person)
I AM ASCENDING.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY.
Weld him MORE.WELD HIM TO THE TABLE TOO.WELD HIS SHOES TO HIS FEET!
🔶 POV: Nami (First-Person)
I haven't laughed this hard since…well, since Zoro last got lost.
🔶 POV: Brook (First-Person)
"Yohohoho! Welded to the floor!I would be shaking in my boots—if I had any!"
🔶 POV: Zoro (First-Person)
WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS!?
🔶 POV: Luffy (First-Person)
I don't notice any of this.
Because something else has taken over:
FOOD WAR MODE.
My eyes turn into spinning stars.My heart beats like drums.My stomach becomes a void with infinite gravity.
Naruto and Goku join me.
We form a synchronized triad of hunger.
We sit at our own giant table.
🔶 POV: Naruto (First-Person)
"FOOD.FOOD.FOOD.FOOD."
🔶 POV: Goku (First-Person)
"YES.MORE.MORE.MORE."
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Five hive-staff appear instantly behind them.
Cycle begins:
Plate down → Plate empty → Plate removed → New plate → Repeat.
Faster than the human eye.
Faster than Byakugan.
Faster than Ultra Instinct (almost).
Stacks of bowls form skyscrapers.
Forks vanish instantly.
The trio beast-mode through cuisines at a rate that violates conservation of mass.
Characters from other universes stare in horror.
Characters who know them nod calmly.
🔶 POV: Sakura (First-Person)
HOW ARE THEY NOT DEAD!?
🔶 POV: Vegeta (First-Person)
Kakarot I expected.But the others…!?
Have these mortals NO LIMITS!?
🔶 POV: Kakashi (First-Person)
Naruto's appetite should be a crime.
🔶 POV: Bulma (First-Person)
Is this what Ultra Hunger looks like!?
🔶 POV: Sanji (First-Person)
They're eating faster than I can blink…This is…a nightmare.A beautiful nightmare.
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Alex is pleased.
Very pleased.
And in this mood, he answers more questions:
"The Infinite Hotel exists beyond all rules.Beyond eternity, beyond decay, beyond causality."
"The Omniverse expands constantly, but I do not."
"I simply exist. Everywhere. Always. At once."
"The void between universes is alive.Filled with predators, parasites, and lost beings."
"I keep them out. Usually."
He says all this with casual, cheerful ease.
Like explaining recipes.
Everyone else?
Existential dread.Lots of it.
Meanwhile…
The Idiot Trio roars:
"MORE FOOD!MORE FOOD!MORE FOOD!"
Alex chuckles.
Tonight is truly divine.