Why do you think babies come into the world crying?
Perhaps to rebel—because they were forced to come into this world—or for countless other reasons we do not yet know.
Babies, children—innocent and pure hearts. When I was younger, I would watch my mother with bewildered eyes as she cried, questioning why she was crying. Now I understand.
My mother was one of those babies who came into the world unlucky, just like me. My mother and I were unlucky children. Her father never loved her, and when she grew up, he gave her to my God-forsaken father in exchange for tons of money.
That was when life truly began to grow harder. For years she was beaten, abused, and made to suffer. And I was born to be a surprise to her, to keep her company. My mother became my guardian angel. We were each other's guardian angels. At last, after years, we managed to save both her and myself from that man. Now a brand-new life awaited us—a life that would belong only to the two of us.
As we happily ran around, settling into our new home, I watched my mother with a faint smile on my face. You deserve it, Mom. You deserve to be happy to the very end."
"I am Deniz—Deniz Güneş. A 28-year-old woman who had fought for her mother her entire life, who had stood up to her father. A woman who had won, and who was now living the joy of that victory.
For the first time in my 28 years, I was experiencing the happiness of seeing my mother this happy.
We had moved to Kuyu neighborhood in Istanbul, a large, vibrant place full of color. I straightened up from the wall I was leaning against with a deep sigh. When my mother and I met each other's eyes, we looked at one another with tears welling up, and she opened her arms wide and hugged me.
"My daughter, my beautiful girl. You are my greatest blessing, my angel. A very beautiful life awaits us now."
My mother—my beautiful mother. Not once had she ever yelled at me or raised her hand against me. She could have chosen not to love me because I was that man's child. But she never did.
I stepped back and looked into her beautiful, deep-blue eyes. I took after my mother. Even if I wasn't as beautiful as she was, I had inherited my deep-blue eyes, full lips, and thick brown hair from her.
"Do you like our home, Mom?"
With smiling eyes, she stroked my hair and sighed. "Of course I like it. How could I not?"
She stepped back, frowned, and held out the trash bag toward me.
"All right then, Miss Deniz! Go on and take out the trash!"
Giggling, I took the bag from her and headed for the front door.
"Yes, ma'am, Miss Asude!"
I was certain no one could be as cheerful as I was at that moment. I had never felt this free before. After throwing the trash into the container, I turned around—and froze, my eyes widening in fear at the sight of a black dog that seemed enormous and terrifying to me.
No. No way… it's not running toward me, right?
"No, no, my friend—look! Don't come!"
Screaming, I ran without knowing where I was going, fleeing from the barking dog chasing me from behind. I couldn't go even two minutes without getting myself into trouble.
Just as I turned my head to look back, I crashed into the person in front of me and, without thinking, jumped into his arms in sheer panic. Strong arms wrapped tightly around my body as I clung to the neck of the person holding me, staring down in fear at the dog left below.
"Please, look, go away! I'll buy you food, okay?"
"Hey, I wouldn't hurt you, you know."
When it barked and jumped in place, I shrank back in fear where I stood. I'd been terrified of dogs since I was little — I couldn't even move until this sweet dog moved away from me; it was a sort of phobia for me.
"Nice dog. Shoo now!"
As if it understood me, it barked, turned around, and walked off. I let out a deep breath — then my eyes widened huge. Whose arms was I in? I jumped down to get away from the person holding me, but they gently pulled me back into their arms, brushing the hair that had fallen over my face aside without a word. I looked up at them.
The face I saw was, of course, unfamiliar. The man in front of me was much taller than me, so I had to tilt my neck up quite a bit to look at him — his thick eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to make sense of what had just happened.
But his blue eyes had narrowed in the sunlight, and his light brown hair — which faded to almost sandy blonde — fell over his forehead. His full lips, usually parted slightly, had set in a straight line, probably from surprise...
"Are you done inspecting me?" the imposing man said. Wait a second? What? I flinched and came to my senses, my face burning with embarrassment. I'd suddenly found myself staring at him, and I'd made it so obvious that I'd caught his attention. My shyness seemed to double — Deniz, what are you doing, girl? You're just standing there checking him out!
"I... I'm so sorry, really — I'm scared of dogs, and in all the chaos, I just jumped into your arms," I mumbled softly under my breath. His dark eyes swept over my blushing cheeks, and he slowly rested his head against his shoulder.
"Why are you scared of dogs?"
Even though his silly question almost made me laugh, I held it in and raised my eyebrows in confusion. He was watching my every move carefully; he tucked his veiny hands — which had caught my eye — into the pockets of his black fabric trousers and waited in silence for my answer.
"Dogs seem scary to me. Not as much as people, but a little wild."
"They only act that way to protect themselves turn wild, just like how people turn wild when they're hurt," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. I had no idea why we were talking about dogs — especially with a stranger. But this imposing man I didn't know was right: dogs did turn wild to protect themselves. Still, that didn't stop my fear.
"Yes, but that doesn't stop me being scared, sir. I'm sorry again." I turned to leave, but his veiny hand gently touched my arm. Surprised, I looked from his hand to his face — he was still watching me quietly, while I stared back in shock with my mouth slightly open.
"I don't know you. Are you not from this neighborhood?"
Since his hand on my arm was making me uncomfortable, I pulled my arm back and raised an eyebrow. Why would that matter to him?
"Why does it concern you whether I'm from this neighborhood or not?" I shot back. His already furrowed eyebrows drew together even more.
"It concerns me, which is why I'm asking, ma'am."
"It doesn't concern you, sir. The only thing that connects us is that I accidentally jumped into your arms and apologized to you that doesn't mean you can question me." I took a step back, uncomfortable with how close our faces were getting.
"Nobody who waves their arms around gets to enter this neighborhood."
The way he hissed the words through his teeth grated on my nerves and made me want to punch him. Deniz, did you really have to jump into the arms of this guy instead of someone polite? I'd somehow ended up with this arrogant windbag.
"Are you crazy? Get lost and mind your own business! It's like you think you're in the mafia — are we filming a TV show or something?!" My words seemed to make him even angrier — his face turned bright red with rage, like a bull that had seen red. He took a deep breath over and over, then stepped right up to me again.
"Watch your tone. Who do you think you're sassing, and in whose neighborhood?"
Whose neighborhood — as if it was his. It's just a neighborhood in Istanbul, for god's sake. I glared at him in anger and took a deep breath. I didn't have time to deal with anyone. I wasn't going to let anyone ruin my best day I wasn't going to let that happen. Even though I couldn't understand why he'd gotten so angry so quickly, I really couldn't be bothered dealing with anyone.
"Believe me, I'm not going to let you ruin my beautiful day!" I said, then turned around and walked briskly toward my house without letting him say another word. His shout echoed through the neighborhood behind me.
"This isn't over here!