I was an ordinary man.
No—scratch that. I was painfully ordinary.
My name was Kang Woojin, age 19, unemployed, underachieved, underloved, and currently lying face-down on my bed wondering why my ceiling fan sounded like it was judging me.
"Why am I still alive?" I muttered.
The ceiling fan stopped.
Then the world stopped.
Then reality lagged.
[ERROR: MAIN CHARACTER DETECTED]
"Huh?"
Blue screens erupted in front of my eyes like a hacked MMORPG UI. I screamed internally but externally stayed calm because I was built different (I was not).
[SYSTEM INITIALIZING…]
[WELCOME, USER: KANG WOOJIN]
[YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR: ABSURDITY MODE]
"…I don't remember signing up for this."
Suddenly, my phone exploded.
Not metaphorically.
Actually exploded.
Smoke rose. Sparks flew. My bank balance flashed before my eyes.
Balance: ₩12,430
Pathetic.
Then the wall behind me shattered.
A GATE opened.
Purple lightning crackled. Demonic aura poured out like it was late for work. A massive shadow stepped through—horns, wings, glowing red eyes, six-pack abs for no reason.
"Human," the demon roared. "I AM THE HARBRINGER OF—"
I sneezed.
The demon froze.
[CRITICAL HIT: SNEEZE DAMAGE ×9999]
The demon imploded.
Blood. Gore. Silence.
I stared at my hands.
"…What?"
[CONGRATULATIONS!]
You have slain: Demon Lord Kraz'thul, Devourer of Suns]
Reward: 9,999 Levels]
My knees gave out.
"BRO I DIDN'T EVEN STAND UP."
Suddenly, my body cracked.
Muscles formed instantly. Height increased. Jawline sharpened. My reflection in the shattered mirror looked like a protagonist who stole every gene from humanity's best men.
[LEVEL: 10,002]
[CLASS: ???]
[TITLE UNLOCKED: "The One Who Didn't Ask For This"]
Outside, alarms blared.
People screamed.
More gates opened across the city.
A voice echoed across the sky.
"THE AWAKENING HAS BEGUN."
Hunters flew through the air. News helicopters circled. Rankers shouted skill names like idiots.
"FIRE LANCE—!"
"SHADOW STEP—!"
"DIVINE—!"
I blinked.
The city went quiet.
Every gate collapsed.
Every monster vanished.
Every hunter fell unconscious.
[PASSIVE SKILL ACTIVATED: EXISTENCE DENIAL (SSS+)]
Effect: Enemies may cease to exist if user feels mildly inconvenienced
I swallowed.
"…Is this balanced?"
[SYSTEM RESPONSE: LOL]
Then my phone—somehow repaired—buzzed.
A message appeared.
[WORLD RANKING UPDATED]
Kang Woojin (???)
???
???
The Hunter Association called.
The Government called.
A mysterious white-haired woman in a black suit appeared on my balcony despite me living on the 7th floor.
"Mr. Kang Woojin," she said calmly.
"The world needs you."
I looked at my bank balance again.
Still ₩12,430.
"…Do you pay?"
She smiled.
That was when I knew.
My peaceful life was over.