Chapter 33: Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee
For the first time, Crocodile felt he'd acted too hastily.
It was understandable, perhaps.
Maybe it was the thrill of finding his first solid lead to an Ancient Weapon, of seeing a Poneglyph with his own eyes.
Maybe he'd grown too accustomed to dealing with this "primitive" man day in and day out.
Maybe Vergil's chaotic, pure nature had lulled him into lowering his guard.
Regardless, he had overlooked one crucial fact:
Alvin Vergil was not a normal human. He was a resurrected relic from an ancient, unknown age.
And no one could predict what might happen when such a being was recklessly brought into contact with another artifact from that lost era.
Would he decipher it?
Or…
What was the ancient creature, Alvin Vergil himself, planning to do?
...
What unfolded before everyone's eyes was an indescribable anomaly.
Alvin Vergil's hand touched the massive Poneglyph… and passed through it, sinking into the stone as if it weren't there. It wasn't breaking or tearing. It was a state akin to superimposition. His right hand phased directly into a section of the ancient text, merging with it seamlessly.
"This… this!"
Igaram of the Royal Guard couldn't help but exclaim, "It's like an uncivilized child sticking his hand into cheap jelly!"
"…"
A bizarre analogy.
But disturbingly apt.
Driven by an instinct Vergil himself didn't seem to understand, he didn't stop. He took a large step forward, superimposing most of his torso and other limbs onto the Poneglyph as well. Soon, only half his face, parts of his knees, shoulders, calves, and feet remained visible outside the dark stone.
Vergil was fused with the Poneglyph, yet the impervious rock showed no cracks or bulges. It was as if human limbs had spontaneously grown from the stone's surface.
"Hey, hey, hey…"
Crocodile's gaze snapped upward, locking onto the only visible eye. He found it devoid of light, glazed over like a dead thing.
What in the world is happening?
A cold sweat broke out on Crocodile's brow. This strangeness surpassed anything explainable by Poneglyphs or Devil Fruits.
"Tch. This primitive really knows how to make trouble!" he spat, striding forward. He grabbed Vergil's still-exposed wrist and heaved with all his strength, trying to pull him free.
The instant he applied force, a bizarre sensation washed over him. It felt like he wasn't pulling a person, but the entire, impossibly heavy stone monument itself.
Superimposition?
He couldn't find the right word.
At that moment, Chaka cried out in alarm. "Look out!"
"Hm?"
Crocodile glanced up. Vergil's visible eye was moving. The pupil rotated, fixing directly on him. The iris, now a pure, lightless black—like the sea on a moonless night—stared back, triggering a primal panic.
Rip.
A soft, crisp tearing sound filled the silent chamber. Shredded, tattered black "ribbons" of something intangible began to drift in the air around Vergil, their ends still connected to his superimposed body.
Whoosh…
One of the ribbons brushed Crocodile's cheek. A sharp sting. A few droplets of blood welled and fell.
?!
It was Haki.
A vast, wild, utterly alien form of—
Armament Haki.
...
Crocodile shuddered. What snapped him back to focus was Cobra's desperate shout.
"Vivi!"
Instinctively, the king shielded his daughter. In front of them, Igaram drew a concealed cannon from his voluminous hair. Pell and Chaka shifted into their hybrid animal forms, ready for combat.
And the one standing between these five and the anomaly was Sir Crocodile.
Not out of chivalry, but cold calculation. If the king and his guards died here, the World Government would pin the blame squarely on him. His Warlord title, his plans for the Poneglyph—everything would evaporate.
These fools could not die here.
More importantly, Crocodile was burning with a furious, greedy curiosity. What was happening to Vergil? It might be directly connected to the Ancient Weapons. He needed that information.
"Heh heh heh heh…"
A dark, eager grin spread across Crocodile's face. He'd long heard the Poneglyphs were indestructible. Today was a fine day to test that legend.
And one more thing…
He'd been wanting to do this to Alvin Vergil for a very long time.
...
His intact right hand gently brushed against a nearby stone pillar. One of the Sand-Sand Fruit's core abilities was to absorb all moisture from any object or creature it touched. Pushed to its extreme, it could reduce everything to desiccated sand.
Desert Spada.
In an instant, the power of the Suna Suna no Mi erupted. The entire pillar, from its base to its ceiling connection, crumbled into fine, dry grit in the blink of an eye. The sand didn't fall. It swirled, gathering into a raging, localized sandstorm with Crocodile's palm as its calm, controlled eye.
Whoosh…
Crocodile kicked off the Poneglyph for leverage, putting himself at point-blank range to the superimposed Vergil. His right hand swung forward.
Ground Death!
BOOM!
The concentrated sandstorm roared forth. This was an enhanced, focused version of his standard sand blast, powerful enough to level a small town. At this range, not even Whitebeard would take it head-on without consequence.
But Crocodile wasn't done. The sandstorm battered against the Poneglyph, scattering violently. Yet the granules didn't fall—they hung suspended in the air under Crocodile's absolute control, swiftly coalescing into four massive, razor-edged blades of solidified sand.
He kicked off the Poneglyph again, putting distance between himself and Vergil as he clenched his fist.
Diamond Sword!
Swish! Swish! Swish! Swish!
The four colossal sand-blades struck the Poneglyph—and Vergil—simultaneously, exploding with devastating force.
Rumble…
A Logia user at full power was a terrifying sight. After the onslaught, dust and fine sand choked the air. Most of the secret chamber had been reduced to a crumbling, sandy ruin, on the verge of total collapse.
Only the Poneglyph at the chamber's end remained utterly, perfectly untouched. That, Crocodile had expected. If the World Government couldn't destroy them, his sand wouldn't either.
The real question was: What about Alvin Vergil?
As the dust settled slightly, Crocodile saw a sight that made his scalp prickle.
The ambient, wild Armament Haki in the air had grown even thicker, a palpable, cutting pressure. And Alvin Vergil, silent for so long, finally moved.
He reached out and grabbed a strand of the drifting, black Haki. With a twist of his wrist, he wrapped it around his arm like a bandage. As he did, more of the untamed Haki in the room streamed back—not toward the Poneglyph, but into Vergil himself.
The strange, ribbon-like Haki winds coiled around his body. At the same moment, Vergil's form… separated from the Poneglyph. He stepped back, fully detached from the stone.
...
It was difficult for Crocodile to describe what he saw.
Full-body Armament Haki coverage? Similar, but not the same. Standard advanced Armament coated the body in a sleek, metallic black sheen.
But Alvin Vergil looked… wrapped. Swathed in tattered, fluttering streamers of pure black, like ink spilled violently across a canvas, floating and writhing around him. Only parts of his eyes and cheeks remained visible through the shifting darkness.
"You…" Crocodile managed a single word, his voice tense.
He was cut off by a sharp, unnerving sound.
"Hee hee hee hee hee…"
The laughter came from Vergil. It was light, almost giddy, but it echoed oddly in the sand-filled chamber.
"This is it!" Vergil's voice was a mix of triumph and wonder. "Finally… I finally understand this power!"
!!?
The words hit Crocodile like a physical blow. His worst suspicion solidified.
He was tricked. He, who had deceived countless others, had been played by an ancient relic! Had Vergil been using him from the start to locate the Poneglyph?
"Tsk…" A cold fury surged through Crocodile, overriding the dread. The Sand-Sand Fruit's power activated fully, his body dissolving into swirling granules. Even if it ruined all his plans, even if he had to flee today, he would not swallow this humiliation without a fight!
He lunged forward, a massive scimitar of sand already forming in his grasp, aiming to cleave through the Haki-swaddled figure.
At the same moment, Vergil turned his partially obscured face toward him. The visible eye crinkled.
Softly, with perfect, cheerful clarity, Vergil spoke four words:
"Just kidding!"
Crocodile: "…"
Crocodile: "...…"
Crocodile: "?"
The sand-scimitar halted in mid-air, quivering with arrested momentum.
...
To let the attack fall? There was no reason now.
But to simply accept this…
That was truly the most infuriating part.
(End of Chapter)
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