"Floette-flo! Florges-flo! (Bad Julian! Bad everyone! No more laughing! I'm declaring a laughing moratorium!)"
Floette, her face still a lingering shade of "granite-green," hovered over Julian's head like a tiny, vengeful cloud. She didn't just hover, though; she used her tiny, petal-soft hands to rhythmically slap the top of his head. It wasn't enough to hurt, but it was certainly enough to make Julian's hair look like he'd just survived a localized cyclone.
"Pffft—haha... alright, alright, Floette!" Julian gasped, his voice still muffled because he was currently using Growlithe's fluffy tail as a secondary oxygen mask. "I'm sorry! Haha—listen, there's a premium honey-glaze pudding in the fridge. The one Togetic was supposed to lose as part of the 'complicity' punishment? You can have it. Right now. I'm waiving the sentence! Consider the rock-flavored trauma your 'time served'!"
Julian was trembling so hard from suppressed giggles that Growlithe's tail was waving back and forth like a frantic windshield wiper.
"Floette-flo! (Hmph! Seeing as you've offered the high-tier tribute and recognized my suffering, I shall grant you a temporary pardon!)" Floette sniffed, her bruised ego partially healed by the promise of sugar. She immediately abandoned Julian's messy hair and zoomed toward the kitchenette like a pink streak.
"Jia-gei! (Pffthahaha! A Fairy-type eating literal gravel!)" Togetic cackled, finally finding her breath. "Woof-woof! (I'm actually dying... my ribs hurt...)" Growlithe whined, rolling onto his side. "Fly-ah! (The glutton finally met her match in a pebble!)" Sylveon added, her ribbons still twitching with amusement.
As the sound of the refrigerator door opening echoed from the kitchen, the trio burst into a fresh round of snickering.
"Pffft... we won," Julian whispered into the orange fur. "That was the best entertainment I've had since we left Sandgem. My stomach muscles are actually screaming. Haha!"
Floette emerged from the kitchen a moment later, cradling a small plastic cup of pudding as if it were a sacred relic. She landed on the edge of the nightstand, glaring at the still-shaking group with eyes that promised a very long "Sparring Session" tomorrow. ( 🌿 💢 🌿 )
"Floette-flo! (Still laughing?! If I hear one more snicker, I'm calling a team meeting in the battle court tomorrow! Three-on-one! I'll show you who's a 'Geodude'!)"
"Sylveon-fly~ (But come on, Sister, you have to admit the face you made was a work of art~)" Sylveon teased, her paws still lazily drumming the floor.
"Leafeon—! (You—!)"
"Mishi...?"
The tiny, high-pitched sound cut through the bickering like a bell. Everyone froze.
Eight pairs of eyes (and Julian's two) swung toward the center of the room. Carbink, who had been an immobile lump of fluff and diamonds for hours, was finally stirring. Its small, rocky body shifted on the carpet, and its sapphire-blue eyes blinked open for the very first time.
Julian immediately disentangled himself from Growlithe's tail, wiping a stray tear of laughter from his eye and smoothing his hair down—not that it helped much.
[Man, what a pity,] Julian thought, casting a longing glance at Growlithe. [If the big guy were just a bit further along in his training... if I could evolve him into Arcanine soon... I could literally live in that fur. I could disappear into a tail that size and never be found. It's a tragedy of biology that he's still puppy-sized. ( ¯ ﹃ ¯ * )]
Shaking the "fur-obsessed" thoughts from his brain, Julian crawled over to the newcomer.
"Hey there, Carbink. Welcome to the waking world!" Julian squatted down, speaking in that soft, 'Team Dad' voice he reserved for the little ones. "Don't mind the noise. Your big sister Floette was just doing some... intensive quality control on your breakfast. It wasn't to her taste, but that's because she doesn't appreciate the fine notes of iron and granite. Are you hungry?"
Gurgle~
As if on cue, Carbink's stomach let out a sound like two pebbles grinding together. The little Pokémon looked down at its own midsection in confusion, then up at Julian.
"Mishi... mishimishi! (Food! The void within me demands sustenance!)"
"Haha, coming right up!" Julian opened the two containers of 'Alpha Recipe' blocks. He placed them directly in front of Carbink, his heart racing a bit. [Please like it. I spent way too much time balancing the mineral-to-berry ratio.]
Carbink tilted its head. Guided by an evolutionary instinct older than the Sinnoh region itself, it leaned forward. It didn't just bite; it touched the block with its snowy-white whiskers first, sensing the vibrations and the density of the minerals.
Finding the 'structural integrity' satisfactory, Carbink's eyes sparkled with a diamond-like radiance. It opened its small mouth and crunched.
CRUNCH-MUNCH-CRUNCH.
"Mishimishi! (Delicious! The crunch factor is off the charts! It's like eating flavored starlight!)"
"Eat up, little gem," Julian smiled, reaching out to gently stroke the cold, angular stone of Carbink's back. "I've got plenty more where that came from."
The Gourmet Standards of Team Julian
"Jia-gei-gu," Togetic whispered, nudging Sylveon with a wing. "I'm getting a weird feeling. I think we just adopted another glutton. Between her and Floette, Julian's going to be spending all his prize money on groceries."
"Sylveon-fly~ (Tell me about it,)" Sylveon replied, watching Floette scrape the last bit of pudding from her cup. "But can you blame them? Julian's cooking is... well, it's a problem. I think he's ruined us for regular life. I saw a wild Eevee eating a raw Oran Berry the other day and I almost felt sorry for it. Like, where's the glaze? Where's the seasoning?"
"Togekiss-gu? (Is other food really that bad?)" Togetic asked, her head tilting.
Because Togetic had hatched under Julian's roof—literally—she had never known a world without Julian's specialized Pokéblocks or his nightly three-course meals. To her, "Food" was just "The Delicious Stuff Julian Makes."
"Woof! (Oh, you sweet, innocent bird-child,)" Growlithe barked, looking over from his fur-grooming session. "I spent time in a Nursery before Julian picked me up. The kibble there? It tasted like cardboard soaked in sadness. It wasn't 'bad'—it kept me alive—but it was just fuel. Julian's food? Julian's food is a hobby."
"Sylveon-fly! (Exactly!)" Sylveon added. "Before I evolved, back at the breeder's, they gave us these generic 'Eevee-Formula' pellets. They were so bland I used to try and eat the grass just for some flavor variety. Then I met Julian, and suddenly I'm eating braised berries and artisanal honey blocks. It's a lifestyle change."
Togetic looked genuinely distressed. "Togekiss-gu?! (So... if we ever ran out of Julian, we'd have to eat 'sadness cardboard'?! My life is a lie!)"
"Woof~ (I wouldn't say you'd die,)" Growlithe thought for a second, trying to be fair. "It's just that other people don't put the 'Soul' into it. Most trainers just pour a bag into a bowl and call it a day. Julian acts like every meal is a Gym Battle he has to win."
"Jia-gei! (Now I'm curious!)" Togetic chirped, her eyes shining with a new, slightly dangerous interest. "I want to try 'Normal Person Food'! I want to know how lucky I am!"
"Sylveon-fly~ (Just ask him tomorrow. He's a total pushover for us. Tell him you want to do a 'Flavor Comparison Study' and he'll buy you the whole store aisle just to see your reaction.)"
"Togekiss! (Tomorrow! Tomorrow we go on a culinary adventure of mediocrity!)"
Julian, meanwhile, was busy tucking the now-comatose Carbink into a plush, stone-colored bed he'd bought at the Solaceon market. The little Pokémon had eaten four blocks and promptly passed out again, its little sapphire eyes glowing dimly in its sleep.