As I was still crying bitterly over my father's lifeless body, I heard someone running toward the room before suddenly bursting in.
It was none other than my mother. She hadn't changed much, just aged well. Her long golden hair was beginning to turn silver, and wrinkles were creeping across her gentle face. Her dark eyes looked tired and red.
She seemed out of breath, she must have just run from where she was, yet she is fragile, I know that only too well. She has a terminal tumor, which was only discovered at the beginning of the year, and she already suffers from heart problems. She must have just come from a chemotherapy session for her heart.
When she saw my father, she suddenly collapsed, tears streaming down her face.
It was the second time I had seen her cry; the first time was when I left home.
When I saw her, I felt a sudden fear and stood up without realizing it. Maybe it was because of all the times I ran away from her so she wouldn't yell at me, so she wouldn't yell at me for being who I am.
Strangely, I no longer felt hatred towards her, unlike other times. All I felt was compassion for this woman who raised me without ever really loving me. At least, that's what I believed. Maybe she was just afraid. Afraid that I would suffer the same misery she did, and she raised me accordingly.
As her tears flowed and she cried loudly, I approached her, trembling in front of her, but she didn't notice, too busy crying over my father.
I wanted to take her in my arms, cry with her, tell her that it was okay, that I was there and that she didn't have to worry, but I was shaking so much that I couldn't even look at her properly.
I am definitely an unworthy son, but what can I do? Isn't it too late? I insulted her so many times, I hurt her without ever wanting to know anything, I broke her little by little without ever seeing that she was just trying to get closer to me, even if it meant hurting herself, even if her approach shattered my dreams.
Yet, at that moment, I could finally be the son she wanted so much by taking her in my arms and comforting her, but I couldn't because I was too afraid to do so.
But it only took one thing for me to do it: seeing my mother's tear-stained face and the distress in her eyes for my body to act automatically, taking her in my arms.
"Hush... Don't cry anymore, Mom... I'm here..."
I said in a trembling voice.
Her tears only intensified as she hugged me tighter.
To think that all our past quarrels and conflicts were put aside by a single action. To think that I just had to take the first step to resolve everything.
"Mom... I'm here... Don't cry anymore... Your son is here for you today!"
I said as my tears flowed.
"My son..."
She said in a soft voice I didn't think she was capable of.
"Dad is gone... But I'm here to take care of you, Mom! I've often been away, but I'm here now!
I said, drying my tears.
"My son... Your father... He's gone... I would have liked to say goodbye to him, you know? I promised him I would reconcile with you, but since I didn't have the courage, he was going to do it for me... To think that that old fool is no longer here... He loved to make people laugh and tell bad jokes, but he brought joy wherever he went, you know? He was... really proud of you when he saw your name in the newspapers and for everything you've done.... I love him so much, you know? He was always there for me, so I tried to do the same by trying to make you someone like him, but I failed and it destroyed everything... Maybe deep down he resented me... It haunted my nights, you know? Thinking that the man I love doesn't love me... You don't love your old mother either, do you?
She cried out between sobs.
That's when those words came out of my mouth for the first time.
"I love you, Mom... I love you,"
I said, hugging her.