"I want a pepperoni pizza with ham and extra cheese. Another one with pepperoni, peppers, mushrooms, and extra sauce. And that one there? 'Neapolitan'? I don't know what that is, but it sounds fancy, give me one of those too."
Alex spoke at full speed, completely ignoring the tension in the air and the death glares drilling into his back. Suddenly, his finger stopped on a menu option, and his face contorted into a grimace of pure disgust.
"Hawaiian? Gross! What kind of idiot thought of putting pineapple on pizza? That should be considered a war crime. Not that one, Mario. I wouldn't take that even if it were free."
Mario, the owner of the place, wrote down the order with trembling hands. He couldn't believe it.
The infamous Blakk Industries officer hadn't come to arrest him. He hadn't come to drag him to a dungeon for breaking the old "never fire a slug again" deal he made with Dr. Blakk after losing his duel.
He was simply... hungry.
KA-CHING!
The sound of the cash register rang out like a gunshot in the silent room, signaling the end of the order. Mario, sweating buckets, ran to the kitchen to prepare the order as if his life depended on it (and it probably did).
"HAHAHA," Alex laughed internally, rubbing his hands together. "Pizza, beautiful and delicious pizza. After weeks of eating that horrible gray slop from the cafeteria, I'm finally going to eat something that doesn't taste like sadness."
Alex was euphoric. Dopamine flooded his brain at the prospect of real carbohydrates. He was so happy he almost started dancing.
Hmm? What's going on here? he suddenly thought.
The sensation of being watched finally pierced through his thick layer of culinary happiness. Alex turned slowly, leaning his elbow on the counter, and found himself face-to-face with the group staring at him in sepulchral silence.
With the curiosity of a child (and the situational awareness of a rock), Alex analyzed the group one by one:
First, his eyes landed on the Blue Troll (Kord). Wow, that guy has some serious muscle, Alex thought, discreetly flexing his own arm and feeling a twinge of envy. He definitely lifts weights. Or boulders.
Then, his gaze slid over to the redheaded girl (Trixie). Whit-woo, Alex wolf-whistled in his mind. After all, they say redheads are every man's kryptonite, right? Too bad she's looking at me like she wants to run me over with a truck.
Next, he looked down at the small molenoid creature (Pronto). Good lord... that is the ugliest dog I've ever seen, he thought with genuine pity. Is that a giant rat or a mole in a suit? It needs a vet, ASAP.
Then he saw the three men in dirty orange uniforms. What weird clothes for a party, he told himself. Is it a "Prison Break" themed party? Cave people have strange tastes.
Finally, his eyes stopped on the boy in the center (Eli Shane). And this one... well, he's just a normal guy, Alex concluded, disappointed. He's the most generic of the group. He's probably the one who organized the party and nobody listens to him.
Suddenly, a realization hit Alex. But it wasn't the right one.
Damn, this is bad. I'm such an idiot for not noticing sooner.
Alex, with the few brain cells currently functioning (since most were focused on the pizza), came to a brilliant but totally wrong conclusion:
These guys are having a private party. They're celebrating something... and I just waltzed right through the middle, interrupting their toast and screaming for food.
Alex felt a pang of social embarrassment.
He was unaware that this was the famous Shane Gang, the sworn enemies of Dr. Blakk. He was unaware that they had just liberated those prisoners from his own trains. He was unaware that Eli Shane was one of the best slugslingers in Slugterra.
To Alex, the problem wasn't that he was a villain. The problem was that he had been rude.
Well, what can you do? Alex sighed internally, resigned to being the center of attention at this strange costume party.
An uncomfortable silence, thick as melted cheese, filled the room for a few minutes. Nobody moved. The only sounds were the hum of the oven and Mario's nervous breathing.
"Order up!" Mario finally shouted, breaking the tension as he slammed four stacked pizza boxes onto the counter with a dull thud.
Alex turned around, olympically ignoring the "guests" at the table behind him. He reached into a small tactical pouch on the back of his belt and pulled out the last gold coins he had left. He let them fall onto the counter with a satisfying clink.
"Keep the change, my good man," Alex said, taking the tower of boxes as if it were the Holy Grail.
He headed to a secluded corner of the room, away from prying eyes, and sat down to enjoy his feast.
"Ho, ho, ho... how beautiful you are," Alex thought, placing the first box in front of him with religious reverence. "So perfect, so hot..."
Alex threw the lid open, expecting to see the circle of life.
"Square?"
Alex froze for a second, processing the information. He was used to the typical round shape from the Surface. What kind of world was this where pizza had corners?
Who cares? he answered himself, shrugging. Even if it was shaped like a hexagon or a dodecahedron, I'd eat it anyway.
Alex grabbed a slice (which was actually a rectangular brick) and brought it to his mouth.
He took a big, generous bite.
"Ahhh... Oh my God!"
The flavor exploded in his mouth. Alex closed his eyes, feeling his taste buds waking up from a month-long coma. The sauce, the cheese, the crunchy crust... it was a symphony.
Suddenly, he felt movement in his chest.
The vials on his belt opened on their own. The Ghoul Slugs—those dark creatures corrupted by Blakk's dark science—jumped onto the table like hungry piranhas.
"What the...?" Alex mumbled with his mouth full.
The slugs began to devour the pieces of pepperoni and bite into the crust with ferocity.
That's the first time I've seen them eat, Alex thought, fascinated, watching them fight over a piece of ham. When I offered them standard slug food, they just sniffed it and ignored it with disdain. They never seemed affected by hunger.
Alex watched one of his red-and-black slugs swallow an entire slice of pepperoni without chewing.
I guess Dr. Blakk, by turning them evil, removes their need to eat so often. It's pure efficiency, Alex reflected, nodding with scientific admiration while chewing his own slice. Or maybe they just have good taste and hate diet food.
There they were: an officer of the enemy force and his little corrupted beasts, sharing a family dinner in a dark corner, while the Shane Gang watched from the other table.
Alex didn't realize it, but he had just made a colossal tactical error: Ghoul Slugs aren't common pets. By letting them out, he had just confirmed to everyone in the pizzeria exactly who he worked for.
SCRAAAAPE!
The high-pitched sound of chair legs dragging against the floor broke the murmur of the restaurant.
Trixie, unable to contain herself a second longer, stood up from her table. Her boots stomped on the floor as she walked decisively toward the corner where the officer was eating.
"You work for Blakk?" Trixie asked, stopping in front of his table. Her voice wasn't a question; it was an accusation, and her green eyes scanned him for any threat.
Alex calmly swallowed the piece of pizza in his mouth before deigning to answer.
"Yes. And today is my day off," Alex replied with total indifference, bringing another square slice to his mouth. "So, if you don't mind..."
"How can you tolerate that?" Trixie interrupted, pointing with disgust at the evil slugs devouring pepperoni on the table. "Look at them!"
Alex chewed slowly, lowered the slice, and looked at his little companions. One of them burped a small cloud of dark red gas.
"What's wrong with them?" he asked back, playing innocent. "They have a healthy appetite."
"It's wrong and you know it!" Trixie exclaimed, slamming her palms on the table. "Blakk turns them evil by altering their physiology. He destroys their will and the environment, disrupting the balance of all the energy in the caverns. They are aberrations!"
Alex sighed, wiping the corner of his lips with a cheap paper napkin.
"Listen, Cherry. Today is my day off. I am off duty. So, unless you came over here to ask me out on a date, please spare me the Greenpeace speech about right and wrong. I'm just a worker with the munchies."
Trixie blinked, confused and offended at the same time.
"Cherry?" she repeated, incredulous. "Did you just call me 'Cherry'?"
Alex smirked and pointed a sauce-stained finger at her hair.
"Your hair is bright red, like the fruit of a cherry," he said in a mocking tone. Then, he lowered his finger to point at her outfit. "And you dress in green, like the stem of a cherry."
Alex began drawing imaginary circles with his finger on the table, enjoying watching the girl's face turn the same color as her hair.
"It is a botanically accurate description. So, Cherry, could you let me eat the rest of my pizza before it gets cold?"
Trixie began to grind her teeth. Her hand instinctively moved toward her blaster, ready to fire an Electroshock at this arrogant guy.
"Easy, Trixie."
Eli Shane suddenly appeared, stepping between her and Alex before the pizzeria turned into a battlefield.
"Hi. I'm Eli Shane," the young man said, extending a diplomatic but firm hand. "This is my friend Trixie, and while her tone might be... intense, she's right. Blakk isn't a good man. And he is definitely not someone you can trust."
Alex stopped drawing circles on the table and looked at the kid. There was something in Eli's voice that was different; it didn't sound like a scolding, but a genuine warning.
"What do you mean 'not trustworthy'?" Alex asked, now a bit more interested.
"Blakk wants to take over all of Slugterra," Eli explained, his hero voice resonating slightly. "He doesn't care about the damage he causes along the way, or the people he hurts, or keeping his promises. He sees people as tools, just like those slugs."
Eli turned and pointed to the table where the three men in dirty orange uniforms were eating as if they hadn't seen food in years.
"Just look at them," Eli said. "They were prisoners. They were going to be forced to work as slaves in Blakk's mines until they died. He only thinks about himself. If you work for him, eventually he will betray you."
The atmosphere grew heavy. The reality of the Slugterra war had invaded Alex's dinner.
"Enough, enough!" Alex interrupted, raising his palms in surrender. "You come here to ruin my meal talking about politics, ethics, slavery, and war crimes... Honestly, you're giving me indigestion."
Alex sighed, dropping the rest of his pizza into the box. His hunger had vanished in the face of so much morality.
"Listen, kid. You seem like a good guy, an idealist," Alex said, sharpening his gaze and getting serious for the first time. "But not everyone in the world has the luxury or the inspiration to be a hero. I'll take your warning about his lack of honesty into account, but I'm not switching sides today."
"You got a problem with that?" he added, defiantly.
"You're making a mistake," Eli replied, holding his gaze. "Blakk has no loyalty to anyone."
Alex softened his expression and smiled with a mix of sadness and cunning.
"Maybe it is a mistake. But Dr. Blakk has something I desperately want. Something only he can give me. So, for the moment, I'll stick with the devil I know."
Alex began to close the pizza boxes and collect his Ghoul Slugs, which hissed at being interrupted.
"It was a pleasure, but I have to go before you convince me to join your Boy Scout club."
Alex stood up, carrying the tower of pizzas (including Valentina's). As he passed Eli, the young hero put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him for a second.
"Seriously... don't trust him. He's not an honest man."
"Don't worry, kid," Alex replied, gently brushing Eli's hand away. "If he tries anything, I've got an ace up my sleeve."
Alex walked toward the exit. Before pushing the door open, he turned back to the redhead who was still glaring at him furiously.
"Bye, Cherry. Hope we meet again under less... ethical circumstances."
Alex winked at her shamelessly and walked out of the restaurant, the bell chiming behind him.
Trixie, indignant at the last comment, stuck her tongue out childishly and gave him a double thumbs-down.
"What a nasty guy!" she exclaimed, dropping back into her chair.
"He is nasty..." muttered Eli, staring at the closed door. "But I think his voice sounds familiar."