This is not just another ball to smile at and back to my sheets by the end of the day
,this is my life for pits sake it's something I have to live with for the rest of my life ,and as much as it scares me tremendously
it's a fact that it will determine my happiness or something as I was told ,
,what was happiness even?
i had long forgotten the time I laughed or worse even smiled genuinely all this was plastered masks i had to put up ,,all my life i have been taught to always submit with zero questions but not this time ,
fuck it all ,this is my life we are talking about i wont be forced into it
not again .