Eline didn't realize when it happened.
Somewhere between the rows of strawberries and the soft warmth of the sun, something inside him loosened. His steps grew lighter, his voice easier, his thoughts less guarded. He wasn't thinking about the mansion, or the rules, or the constant weight sitting on his chest.
For a while, he was just… himself.
Lucian noticed.
He said nothing, but his gaze followed Eline more than it should have. The way he crouched without hesitation, the way he spoke without filtering his words, the way his lips curved into something that wasn't forced or bitter for once.
He had never seen him like that.
"Look at this one," Eline said suddenly, holding up a strawberry between his fingers.
Lucian glanced at it, not immediately understanding.
"It looks like a butt, doesn't it?" Eline added, completely serious for a second before a quiet laugh slipped out of him.
He dropped it into Lucian's box without waiting for a reaction. "You can have it. I'll keep the prettier ones for myself."
Lucian looked down at the strawberry, then back at him. Something about the moment felt absurd, and yet… not unpleasant. A faint smile touched his lips before he even realized it.
They moved deeper into the farm, picking more along the way. Lucian's movements were slower, unfamiliar with something so simple, while Eline worked with ease, filling his box far quicker.
After a while, Eline straightened and turned toward him again, a spark in his eyes. "Now comes the best part."
Lucian raised his gaze slightly, waiting.
"There's a river," Eline said, already stepping ahead. "You can sit under the trees and just eat strawberries and talk. That's the best thing about this place."
He didn't wait for agreement. He simply walked, as if it was obvious Lucian would follow.
And he did.
The river revealed itself slowly, wide and calm, its surface catching the light in quiet ripples. A willow tree stood near the edge, its long branches swaying gently, casting a soft shade beneath it.
They sat there, side by side, the boxes resting between them.
For a moment, there was only silence.
Eline picked up a strawberry and took a bite. The sweetness spread across his tongue, familiar enough to pull him deeper into memory.
But then, just as quickly, something shifted.
The ease faded.
The quiet felt different now.
He wasn't here with a friend.
He wasn't here with someone he could talk to without thinking.
This wasn't that life anymore.
His movements slowed, the brightness in him dimming almost imperceptibly. He kept his gaze on the river, avoiding the weight of reality settling back into place.
Lucian noticed the change immediately.
Just moments ago, Eline had been speaking freely, pulling him along, showing him things like it all mattered. Now he had gone quiet, withdrawn into himself without explanation.
Lucian's eyes lingered on him, something unsettled forming in his chest.
He had expected the talking. The noise. The strange, effortless way Eline filled the silence.
This felt… wrong.
"Did you come here often?" Lucian asked after a while.
Eline nodded, still looking ahead. "Yeah. With my coworkers. We used to come here for work, but it never felt like work."
His voice softened slightly, almost unconsciously.
"We'd pick strawberries, sit somewhere like this, and just talk about everything. Work, people, relationships… whatever came to mind. It was fun."
Lucian watched him as he spoke, noticing the subtle shift in his expression, the way his voice carried something distant.
"Do you like gossiping that much?" he asked.
A faint, almost amused breath left Eline. "Who doesn't? It's the best thing. Eating something you like, sitting somewhere nice, and just talking nonsense with someone you like."
He paused for a second before adding more quietly, "It makes things feel lighter."
Lucian didn't respond immediately. His gaze drifted to the river, then back to Eline, studying him in a way he hadn't before.
"I didn't expect that," he said.
Eline didn't ask what he meant.
And Lucian didn't explain.
Instead, after a brief pause, he reached into the box and picked up one of the strawberries.
The oddly shaped one Eline had given him earlier.
He looked at it for a moment, then took a bite.
The taste was sweet.
Strangely enough, he didn't mind it.
Silence settled between them again, soft but no longer as comfortable as before.
They continued eating, the quiet broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves and the distant sound of water moving along the river. Eline reached into his box for another strawberry, then glanced sideways at Lucian's.
His eyes narrowed slightly.
"Where's that one?" he asked.
Lucian looked at him, faintly puzzled.
"The one that looked like…" Eline hesitated for a second, then lowered his voice just a little, "the butt one. Did you eat it already?"
Lucian paused, as if trying to recall. Then his expression shifted into something almost uncertain.
"I suppose I did," he said. "Was I not supposed to?"
There was a brief silence.
Eline looked at him for a moment, then looked away again, as if the question hadn't mattered that much after all.
"It was just… weird-looking," he muttered. "I thought you wouldn't eat it. Never mind."
Lucian's gaze lingered on him.
There was something in the way he said it, something half-finished, like there had been a meaning behind it that he chose not to explain.
"What did you mean by that?" Lucian asked.
Eline shrugged lightly, still not looking at him. "Nothing. I just said it."
The air shifted again, slipping into that awkward quiet.
Lucian didn't like it.
Not after—
Not after what it had been just a few minutes ago.
He frowned slightly, then said, almost without thinking, "Do you always act like this?"
Eline turned to him, a little defensive now. "Like what?"
"Silly."
Eline blinked.
"I'm not silly," he said immediately. "would you look at me and think that i am silly?"
Lucian held his gaze for a moment, as if considering it seriously.
"No," he said. "When I look at you, I would say you're… pretty."
Eline froze for a fraction of a second.
Lucian continued, his tone unchanged, "But you act silly."
The words landed strangely between them.
Eline didn't respond right away. He just looked at him, as if trying to decide whether to be offended or not.
"…That doesn't even make sense," he muttered after a moment, though there was less resistance in his voice than before.
Lucian didn't argue.
For a brief moment, the tension eased again.
Not fully—but enough.
And then, just like that, it fell quiet again.
Lucian leaned back slightly, his gaze drifting toward the river, but his thoughts stayed elsewhere.
On the way Eline had spoken earlier.
On the way he had smiled without holding back.
On how easily the conversation had flowed when he wasn't thinking.
It had felt… different.
Unfamiliar.
But not unpleasant.
He wanted that again.
That ease.
That version of him.
Lucian frowned slightly, his fingers tightening just a little around the strawberry in his hand.
What am
He wanted to feel that again but he didn't knew how
For the first time, words felt insufficient.
And he didn't know how to fix it.