Chapter 440: Even Without Shikamaru, There's Still a Way
"Kakashi, you've truly disappointed me."
"I originally thought that your habit of imitating Uchiha Obito, constantly being late because you were helping old grandmothers cross the street, came from genuine sincerity. But it turns out you were only satisfying your own obsession with reminiscing about an old friend! You don't possess the virtue of respecting the elderly at all. You've lost the Will of Fire!"
As Tobirama spoke to Kakashi, he suddenly began piling accusations onto him.
Although the Third Hokage once scolded Orochimaru, saying that the Reanimation Jutsu was an evil forbidden technique that disturbed the dead.
There was a key point to that statement.
First of all, the Third Hokage would never dare say such a thing in front of Tobirama.
Secondly, there was a premise behind his criticism: Orochimaru controlled the people he reanimated.
But the current Reanimation Jutsu placed no restraints on its targets at all. It was basically just bringing them back to the living world to enjoy themselves again.
Under those circumstances, whether the reanimation was released or not didn't really matter.
There was no such thing as "death being a cool summer night where one could sleep peacefully without worries."
The "peaceful rest" in the Pure Land was more like being put under full anesthesia—there was no subjective consciousness whatsoever.
So keeping Obito's grandmother in the ninja world had no drawbacks. On the contrary, it added another backup measure.
For Uchiha Obito, there were only a handful of important people in his life.
And the most important of them all was obviously Rin.
But what if?
What if all they needed was the final straw that broke the camel's back?
And yet Kakashi, simply because he didn't want to embarrass himself, suggested releasing Obito's grandmother from the Reanimation Jutsu. It was utterly irresponsible!
Kakashi had sacrificed his reputation—but had his older brother and he not sacrificed anything too?
His older brother Hashirama had just walked out of the Kamui dimension covered in filth in full view of everyone.
Anyone unaware of the situation might think Hashirama's Wood Release required fertilizer to grow.
Kakashi truly didn't deserve to become the future Sixth Hokage. What a disappointment.
He wasn't even as good as Granny Chiyo from the neighboring village.
"Second Hokage-sama, please stop talking already. Fine, I respect the elderly, okay? We won't let her rest in peace. But I still want to ask everyone to let me help. I'm not asking anyone to go easy on Obito. It's just that because I possess this eye, I'm the most suitable person to counter him."
Kakashi hurriedly changed the subject.
If this continued, he was going to get criticized into worthlessness.
He really wanted to ask: was this really what "respecting the elderly" was supposed to mean?
How was he supposed to look at the phrase "respect the old and care for the young" the same way ever again?
But he couldn't exactly voice that complaint out loud.
If he did, wouldn't that basically confirm that Kakashi naturally deserved all this?
People could twist anything into something weird.
"Now that's what you should be saying."
Tobirama nodded in satisfaction and gave his approval.
"You're right. You are indeed the most suitable person to counter him. So, do you have any ideas on how exactly to do that?"
"Uh…"
Kakashi hesitated.
How to counter him?
His first thought was to use Kamui again to transport Konoha's sewage pit.
But he quickly rejected the idea.
First, Konoha's sewage facilities had already been destroyed multiple times and were no longer sufficient.
If this kept up, the farmers who relied on fertilizer for their crops would come looking to settle accounts with Kakashi himself.
Second, Obito had recently used the "filth shower to the face" tactic to counter Izanami. Maybe by now he simply no longer cared about things like that.
"I'll send this guy where he belongs first. You all can brainstorm together and discuss it."
Tobirama blasted the unconscious Obito with a high-pressure Water Release stream, washing him clean before slinging him over his shoulder. After leaving those words behind, he disappeared with Flying Thunder God.
Shiromo and the others didn't stay idle either and returned to Amegakure.
Feeling helpless, Kakashi figured that more people meant more inspiration, so he called over everyone from Konoha.
Only…
As Kakashi looked at the arriving crowd, he noticed one person missing.
"Where's Shikamaru?"
Kakashi looked confused.
As the smartest among the younger generation, why hadn't Shikamaru come?
"Uh, Kakashi-sensei, did you forget? Shikamaru won the Nara clan competition last time and earned permanent slacking privileges."
Akimichi Choji mumbled while clutching a bag of chips.
"..."
Permanent slacking privileges. That sounded unbelievably good.
Kakashi suddenly felt a little jealous.
"This is troublesome. Without Shikamaru, we're missing our most important strategist… Wait, the thing Shikamaru got was 'permanent slacking privileges,' not 'mandatory slacking privileges,' right?"
"Choji, as Shikamaru's teammate, how about you go talk to him and ask him to help us think of something?"
Kakashi turned toward Choji and Ino.
"Can't do it. Actually, I already quit the Ino-Shika-Cho formation."
Ino waved her hand and refused.
"…Uh."
Kakashi fell speechless.
What was Ino-Shika-Cho, some kind of music group? Could it just disband like that?
"Kakashi-sensei, what you said is going too far."
Choji tossed the last potato chip into his mouth, wiped his greasy hands on his clothes, and looked at Kakashi with dissatisfaction.
"Huh?"
Kakashi was confused. What had he said this time that was offensive? Had he accidentally used the forbidden word "fat" somewhere?
"Does not having Shikamaru around mean we can't think of a solution ourselves?"
Choji placed his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest proudly.
Choji actually held some resentment toward Shikamaru.
Ino had been the first to leave the Ino-Shika-Cho trio.
At first, Choji didn't think much of it. Without Ino around to yell at him, he could relax more and have more fun with Shikamaru.
But unexpectedly, Shikamaru left too.
After obtaining permanent slacking privileges, there was naturally no need for Shikamaru to continue going on missions with him.
Shikamaru was basically supported by his entire clan now, which made Choji deeply envious.
After the Nara clan tournament ended last time, Choji suggested that the Akimichi clan also hold a competitive eating contest. The winner would receive permanent priority access to unlimited free food.
The rest of the Akimichi clan would support them collectively.
It was an attempt to imitate the Nara clan and recreate their success.
But the Akimichi clan's competition turned into a complete disaster.
The main reason was that Choji couldn't find the perpetually slacking Shikamaru, so he had no way to ask about the detailed rules of the tournament.
The Nara clan had managed to organize their competition perfectly, but the Akimichi clan couldn't.
Choji wanted to ask for advice but couldn't find Shikamaru anywhere, and in the end, the contest ended up with a massive loophole.
They forgot to establish a rule limiting participation to members of the Akimichi clan, which resulted in the final champion being won by an outsider.
For the sake of saving face, they had no choice but to honor the agreement. From then on, whenever Hinata went out to eat, the bill would be charged to the Akimichi clan.
Not only had he failed to gain permanent unlimited free food privileges, but he had also completely embarrassed himself. Choji's resentment toward Shikamaru ran deep.
"Kakashi-sensei, Choji actually has a point. Just because Shikamaru isn't here, does that mean the rest of us are idiots? I've already thought of one method myself."
Ino suddenly spoke up.
"Oh? What method?"
Kakashi's eyes filled with anticipation.
(End of this chapter)