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Chapter 100: How to Conquer an Uchiha (Hashirama Is Watching)
"Anyway, the Uchiha clan has already been wiped out. There are only a few people left, so I might as well make this 'secret' public."
Shiromo found a rock to sit on, adopting the posture of someone about to give a lecture.
"Oh?"
Temari crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Shiromo to speak.
"The vast majority of the Uchiha share some very similar traits, such as being very sensitive to emotions and being easily stressed."
"Based on the successes and failures of Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, and many predecessors who had dealings with the Uchiha, I've reached a conclusion."
"If you want to obtain an Uchiha's intense emotions, you must be 'heavier' than them."
"As long as you rank first in their 'emotional weight' hierarchy, then in that Uchiha's heart, you will be the most important person."
"Heavier? What do you mean by 'heavier'?"
Temari was confused.
"It's hard to explain clearly…"
Shiromo thought to himself that the ones who truly carried this theory to its peak, Sasuke and Naruto, probably wouldn't have ended up as such a 'tragic pair' anymore.
Well, it was hard to say.
Things like "I am the one and only."
Or "Let's start over and become friends again."
And that one line that left Sakura completely bewildered: "Being with Sakura makes me feel closer to Sasuke."
Aside from that, Karin's failure in the original story was precisely because, aside from Naruto, the undisputed number one, she couldn't even compete with Sakura in terms of emotional weight.
"Let me give you an example."
"Suppose you are Uchiha Hikari, freshly unsealed. The first thing I do right now is forcibly kiss you."
"Huh?"
Temari frowned, her hand moving to the three-star fan behind her.
"What do you think your reaction would be?"
Shiromo asked.
"Obviously I'd kick you flying! Doing something like that to a girl the moment you meet her, is this what you call 'heavy'? I think that's just being a pervert!"
Temari took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing her displeasure.
"Right. And as a member of the Uchiha clan, you'd probably be even more agitated, maybe you'd want to kill me on the spot."
"Then I'd say this: even if you break my legs, shatter my arms, or gouge out my eyes, you still won't be able to stop my love for you."
"Even if you kill me, I'll keep watching you from the Pure Land, waiting to entangle myself with you again in the next life."
"I was originally a ninja from a small clan during the Warring States period. Back then, the first time I saw your profile on the battlefield, I fell deeply in love at first sight, an undying love for ten thousand years."
"I kept reincarnating until now, all for the sake of helping you break your seal."
"The Uchiha clan you hated most has already been annihilated. The Senju clan has also vanished without a trace."
"Under my guidance, the entire shinobi world has moved toward a brighter future."
"All of this was done for you, so that you could enjoy a beautiful life and forget the pain of the past…"
"..."
Temari's mouth fell open as she froze in place.
She…
She seemed to understand what "heavy" meant now.
"Are you sure this wouldn't just scare the girl instead?"
After coming back to her senses, Temari looked at Shiromo with a kind of reverent fear.
"That's why this is a special countermeasure that only works on the Uchiha clan. Also, who said it only works on women? Konoha's Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto, those two are exactly such a tragic pair."
Shiromo shook his head.
"I think I get it. This really isn't something a normal person could do, how about you just skip the first step and go straight to the later lines?"
Temari thought for a moment and offered her suggestion.
"No. That step is necessary for emotional progression. If you skip it, it just doesn't have the right flavor."
"I think you just can't bear to cut that step out, right?"
"You're overthinking it. How about you do it, then?"
"Me, me do it?!"
Temari had been gearing up to go on the offensive, but Shiromo's casual "how about you do it" completely stunned her.
While Temari was still dumbfounded, Shiromo suddenly thought of another method.
Compared to being a "heavy guy," this method was a bit less effective, but it could still achieve the goal.
First, raise the "initial favorability." Only then could normal communication follow.
"Temari, how's your acting?"
Thinking of this, Shiromo looked at Temari and asked.
"A-acting? No way! I'm straight!!!"
As soon as Shiromo asked that, Temari's mind was instantly filled with terrifying images of people being together on Bilibili, studying together, celebrating New Year's Eve together, and even being with Native Americans, and she hurriedly took a step back, waving her hands in refusal.
"What are you thinking about? I've already abandoned the first plan. I'm talking about the second plan I just came up with."
"Huh?"
Temari froze for a moment. Her face instantly turned red, and she turned her head away, hastily changing the subject. "T-then hurry up and say it. What's the second plan?"
"This new plan also needs Gaara's help. Luckily we ran into him on the way, otherwise, with just the two of us, it'd be really hard to act it out."
"Hm?"
Gaara froze.
He had been standing off to the side, happily watching the show. How did this suddenly involve him?
As a younger brother, this was the first time he had ever seen so many expressions on his sister Temari's face.
It was because she had met Shiromo, and also because of his own change, that Temari, as an older sister, no longer needed to shoulder so much pressure.
"Wasn't Gaara also treated as a weapon of the Sunagakure Village by Rasa?"
"You mean letting her know that there are others in this world just like her?"
Temari answered immediately.
"That's part of it. Beyond that, there are many other things we can bring up."
"But before that, you have to get her to calm down and listen. So we need direct visual and auditory stimulation, something that will raise her initial favorability toward us to a certain level."
Shiromo beckoned to Gaara. After hesitating for a moment, Gaara walked over.
Under Shiromo's explanation, the three of them memorized what they needed to do and the lines they needed to say.
"Remember, one continuous take, pass in one go. No rehearsal, no retakes, action."
At Shiromo's command, Gaara looked at the jutsu formula on the scroll and formed hand seals to help break the many seals.
The seal itself wasn't particularly difficult to undo. Just as Senju Tobirama had said before, the best seal was oblivion.
The seal slowly opened.
Uchiha Hikari's consciousness, which had been sleeping within, gradually awakened. She groggily opened her eyes.
She heard noisy sounds from outside.
She vaguely heard a crazed voice outside, shouting familiar words like "clan weapon," "human weapon," "no need for emotions," and so on.
Were they talking about her?
It didn't seem like it…
Outside, Gaara was fully acting as his former self from more than ten days ago, crazily delivering his lines as sand gathered in his hand, forming the Spear of Shukaku.
Hikari's consciousness grew clearer. This time, she finally heard it clearly.
Outside, there was someone just like her, a human weapon created by a clan, now being hunted down for betraying that clan.
In response, Hikari merely gave a miserable smile, showing no reaction.
Of course. Isn't that the ending of a weapon? No one cares. No one pays attention…
"If we can walk out alive today, would you be willing to see all the rivers and mountains with me?"
"I wou… mmph."
Shiromo was carrying the "unconscious" Temari in a princess carry as he moved forward. Hearing Temari suddenly speak, he hurriedly covered her mouth with his hand.
'Willing your ass, this isn't your line!'
They almost blew it.
Fortunately, Uchiha Hikari didn't notice.
That first sentence resounded in her mind like a great bell.
The emotion contained in those words was far too intense. Even though they hadn't spoken to her, they still struck directly at the Uchiha clan's emotional extreme.
So… even weapons could have feelings? Could they have someone they loved?
"Die!"
Gaara threw the Spear of Shukaku.
Bang.
A crimson skeletal arm burst up from underground, swinging out and knocking the Spear of Shukaku flying.
(End of this chapter)