The announcement of my scholarship was pinned to the main bulletin board by noon on Tuesday. To the faculty, it was a point of pride a Maplewood student heading to the city's top research lab. To Claire Dasorman, it was a declaration of war.
I was standing in the computer lab, finalizing the documentation for my code, when the atmosphere shifted. The temperature didn't drop, but it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Claire walked in, flanked by her usual circle, but for once, they weren't giggling. They looked like they were marching to a funeral.
"I saw the board, Amara," Claire said. She didn't stop at her own station; she walked right up to mine, placing her manicured hands on the edge of my desk. "A full ride. A research position. It's almost impressive how much they're willing to give for a single 'lucky' simulation."
I didn't look up from my screen. "Lucky? We ran the storm three times, Claire. Sentinel held every time. The Guardian crashed at the first sign of a crosswind. That's not luck. That's physics."
"It's a glitch," she hissed, leaning in so close I could smell her peppermint lip gloss. "My father is calling for a formal audit of your source code. He thinks you integrated proprietary municipal data without authorization. He thinks you cheated."
I finally turned my head to meet her gaze. I felt the heat rising in my neck, but my voice was ice. "Your father can audit whatever he wants. But if he looks too closely at the 'proprietary data' Eli brought to your project, he might find things he doesn't want the board to see. Ethan told me where that data came from, Claire. Do you really want to open that door?"
She flinched. It was barely visible, a tiny flicker in her eyes, but it was there. She knew the "insider access" Eli's father provided was a double-edged sword. If they accused me of using it, they admitted they had it themselves.
"You think you're so much better than us," she whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of rage and something that looked almost like fear. "But you're just a girl who spends her nights in a dusty library because she has nowhere else to go. You'll never be one of us."
I stood up, and for the first time, I felt taller than her. Not because of my height, but because I no longer cared about being "one of them."
I rise beyond what others see,
Beyond the doubts that shadow me.
I do not need to justify, explain,
The storm I've weathered, the quiet pain.
"You're right, Claire," I said, packing my things slowly. "I don't belong here. I never did. But the difference is, I'm okay with that. I don't need a golden garland or a family name to define my worth. My logic stands on its own. Can yours say the same?"
I walked past her, the silence in the lab ringing in my ears. As I reached the door, I saw Ethan standing near the back. He didn't say anything, but he gave me a sharp, respectful nod. He was the only one in that room who understood that the game had changed.
I spent the rest of the afternoon walking through the Maplewood square. The Christmas lights were still up, but they looked dim compared to the fire I felt inside. I stopped by the frozen fountain where Eli had broken my heart. I looked at the ice and didn't see a tragedy; I saw a phase change. Water becomes ice when it's under pressure and cold, but it's still the same element. It's just stronger.
I pulled out my notebook and wrote the lines that would eventually become the preface to my research:
My second chance is here, my dawn,
A new beginning where I belong.
And Eli, if ever he returns,
He'll find a fire that fiercely burns.
The dark Christmas was ending. The New Year was coming, and for the first time in seventeen years, I wasn't waiting for someone to tell me I was good enough. I already knew.