'This is wrong!'
'This makes no sense at all!'
'Wasn't my existence supposed to be the leftover dregs of 'Seele's' negative emotions? My heart should be forever filled with nothing but darkness and resentment!'
'So then... how... how could just touching Seele cause such a shift in my own feelings!?'
It suddenly struck her—this 'Crimson-Eyed Seele,' this walking trash can for negativity—that Lunelle's touch had somehow, unnervingly, stirred something within her.
Something like 'shyness,' an emotion that should have been utterly impossible for her to feel.
And in the moment Lunelle took her small hand, Crimson-Eyed Seele realized with another shock that her own form, which had always been faint and spectral, was beginning to solidify under that contact!
'Could it be... even the very nature of my existence is changing?!!!'
Faced with this inexplicable, almost supernatural manipulation by Lunelle, Crimson-Eyed Seele was completely thrown off balance.
She was, after all, the lingering remnant of Seele's past sorrows.
The only thing sustaining her in this peculiar state was a powerful, stubborn obsession.
And the primary target of that obsession was naturally the true 'Seele' from the Previous Era of Honkai.
That Seele, born into the Previous Era, had endured unimaginable hardships from a tender age.
With her lowly status, she'd been forced from childhood to become a 'pushover,' burying every negative emotion deep inside no matter how others bullied or wronged her.
But the intense negativity born in a person's heart isn't something one can just discard or forget at will.
Those seemingly discarded, buried dark feelings piled up day after day, year after year.
Eventually, they coalesced into Crimson-Eyed Seele—a unique aggregate of negative emotions.
Because she truly carried all of Seele's inner pain, experiences, and memories, Crimson-Eyed Seele was less a simple cluster of bad feelings and more like a 'true-feeling Seele,' far more genuine than the original 'pushover' Seele.
You could even see her as the Previous Era Seele's darkened, alternate personality.
As this second personality, Crimson-Eyed Seele was volatile and quick to anger.
Yet, she had never once used her position to wrestle control of their shared body away from Seele.
It was because she, born from negativity, could only feel a sliver of warmth—a deeply familiar, comforting warmth—when facing Seele, the primary consciousness.
That single, unique thread of warmth was the only sensation distinct from the endless darkness that Crimson-Eyed Seele, the aggregate of negativity, could ever experience.
So even though her words were always sharp and snarling, her actions were honest: she continued to shoulder the duty of bearing all of Seele's negative emotions.
In Crimson-Eyed Seele's heart, Seele had always been her one and only salvation.
As long as she could still receive that warmth from Seele, she could grit her teeth and endure any amount of painful, tormenting negativity.
But Crimson-Eyed Seele, who desired nothing more than that faint warmth, never imagined the day would come when Seele would irresponsibly abandon her.
Because Seele chose to end her own life.
Why...?
All the unbearable, painful memories, all the harsh realities Seele couldn't accept—Crimson-Eyed Seele had taken them all upon herself!
She had done that much!!!
So how could that coward, who never truly had to feel the pain, have the nerve to choose death!?
Why?!!!
As the power of the Finality washed over and began to erase the last traces of the original Seele's consciousness, Crimson-Eyed Seele—who had always seen Seele as her sole salvation—completely snapped.
Why should this happen!?
She was the one who had borne all the agony and torment!
So why was it that Seele, who had scarcely tasted real suffering, could be so fragile as to choose death just because she was being forced to marry some worthless nobody she didn't love?
In the final moments before her consciousness was to be extinguished, a terrifying obsession took root in Crimson-Eyed Seele.
She would make the entire world personally experience every ounce of pain she had endured.
After all, why should she be the only one to suffer?
If she was in this much agony, wasn't it only fair that everyone in the world join her in feeling this torment worse than death?
And if she ever got the chance, she would make that irresponsible coward who chose death taste for herself all the suffering Crimson-Eyed Seele had borne in her place!
Until she made that coward pay, until she made this world that brought her endless pain pay... she could not die.
She absolutely would not!!!
Fueled by this dreadful obsession, Crimson-Eyed Seele withstood not just the erasure from the Finality, but also a second, overwhelming erosion from another power she later understood as the 'Sea.'
But now... the very 'culprit' who had caused her this immeasurable pain was standing right before her.
So why?
Why did just having this girl actively hold her hand...
Cause such a massive crack in her once-resolute heart of vengeance?!
Dammit!
DAMMIT!!!
Right now, Crimson-Eyed Seele wanted nothing more than to violently wrench her hand from Lunelle's grasp and slap her across the face!
To demand an answer—how could she have heartlessly cast her aside so easily before...
But why was the hand holding hers now so infuriatingly, desperately warm?!
If only you'd been this nice to me from the start, you stupid idiot... I... I would never have...
Just as her resolve for revenge was severely shaken, her thoughts spiraling into chaotic, unexpected directions—
"Seele! There's something I've always wanted to tell you!"
Lunelle's grip on Crimson-Eyed Seele's hand tightened.
Thinking of what she was about to say, her sincere, clear sea-blue eyes couldn't help but show a flicker of shyness and worry.
This sudden display of bashfulness from Lunelle made Crimson-Eyed Seele, who was just beginning to awaken to normal human emotions, stare dumbfounded.
This... this Seele... why does she suddenly look so damn... captivating?
But Lunelle, thinking that if she didn't speak now, this simulation would end, she would die for real, and there would be no second chance—any hesitation or fear of rejection was pushed aside.
Extremely nervous, she squeezed her eyes shut, not daring to look, and mustered her courage for the first time to confess to the girl she loved.
"Seele!!! I... I... I love you!!!"
Crimson-Eyed Seele: "...Huh?!!!"
--+--
T/N: I have a Patreon! Webnovel will get 2 Chapters Every Day, and advanced chapters will be uploaded on Patreon.
It may not seem worth it now, but maybe in the future. Who knows!
[email protected]/AspenTL
If you guys wanna check it out.