Maybe if I die, I'll go back.
I've repeated those words thousands of times every day in this world—from the moment I woke up in that building to now, lying in this bed, what used to be white sheet became brown by dried blood in a mental hospital.
"Augh…"
I bit my lip hard until blood burst from it in torrents, nearly tearing it apart if I hadn't stopped at the very last moment because of A strange, indescribable weakness that flooded my entire body, as if all strength had been ripped away in one instant. The muscles in my arms—where my hands had been severed—began to tense and convulse violently…
Yet despite the hellish pain, I couldn't scream.
All I could do was stare at the ceiling, tears pouring endlessly from my eyes.
"Why can't I kill myself?"
Was it a joke?
A sick prank?
Was there someone in the heavens who held a grudge against me?
And if that were true… what had I even done?
I was just a man—less than ordinary. A white-collar worker, completely unremarkable. The biggest mistake I ever made was being on that train… and interfering in something that had nothing to do with me—only for my neck to be slashed afterward like something closer to livestock than a human being.
For fifteen years, I was humiliated by nurses, security guards , doctors , everyone who worked in this hospital—in every way imaginable: beating, kicking, insults, trampling… even rape. They used me as a tool to vent their anger, as if I were nothing.
For fifteen years, I never had a single humane conversation. All I heard was insults… and the ramblings of lunatics trapped in the same walls as me.
For fifteen years, I watched sane people dragged in by force… only to lose their minds shortly after being crushed beneath medication and lobotomies
For fifteen years, my thoughts were consumed by hatred for that bastard… Hanayama Kaoru.
The sole reason I was here.
I remember that day vividly.
I woke up in that building, completely confused. A man dragged me out of the room and threw me outside, right in front of that giant—surrounded by his men. I still remember screaming, begging to know what was happening—only for him to seize my arms with insane force making my Muscles burst. Bones crushed under his grip. My arms fell limp, and I blacked out from the unbearable pain.
I woke up in a hospital. Surgically treated.
Then immediately transferred to this asylum.
"Hanayama… I swear… I promise you—if I ever get the chance, I'll do the same to you. Worse. I'll tear your eye out—"
Hehe.
A soft laugh cut through my thoughts.
I raised my head with difficulty, turning toward the source of the sound.
There was a massive man with long shoulder length white hair and a white beard. He wore the same white uniform as all of us patients. He sat on a round iron chair, and in the corner of the white room was a painting he had made himself—perfectly symmetrical art, meticulously crafted, yet repulsive because of the colors chosen: neon green and muddy brown.
This man had arrived at the hospital five years after I did.
At first, he behaved like a child—obsessed with sweets, wetting and soiling his bed. But over the years, those behaviors gradually faded, leaving behind only one obsession: painting.
Despite the brutal treatment nurses gave the other patients, they were strangely gentle with him.
His name… Dorian.
And for the first time in ten years, I saw him laugh.
" haha "Dorian laughed as he stood up from his chair. His white clothes began to rise from his body in a strange, almost magical way, revealing a physique packed with muscle—muscles that moved unnaturally beneath his skin. Their motion reminded me of the spasms my arms had experienced moments earlier, but the comparison fell short.
My muscle contractions were like unstable ocean waves—violent and chaotic.
His were like beautiful, orderly sand ripples.
Dorian stared at the ceiling, his face resembling that of a teen experiencing sexual pleasure for the first time.
"Dorian?" I called out.
He turned toward me, his expression instantly returning to normal.
"Oh, Yang… I didn't notice you."
What? I've been here the whole time… how did you not notice me?
I wondered silently, staring at him in disbelief.
Dorian scratched his beard and spoke casually.
"Could you tell the nurses that I'm leaving?"
What? How? Isn't that impossible because of the long walls with barbed wir—
Before I could finish the thought, Dorian punched the wall. It collapsed completely. Then he leapt with tremendous force and vanished my sight
For a few seconds the world became quit only for a
Bang !!!
…
"Huh?"
The sound escaped my mouth involuntarily.
I rose from my bed -- a task far more difficult than I'd imagined—and staggered toward the opening Dorian made
A massive gap had been torn into the enormous perimeter wall. It was absurdly large.
"This is impossible…" I whispered, sweat pouring down my face as I stared at the opening—wider even than the nearby iron gate.
Several patients were fleeing through it, while nurses and guards tried to restrain them .. with brute force.
I reached my hand toward it.
"I… want to escape too."i looked down
The distance between the ground and my floor wasn't far ,plus there was a bush to soften the fall
So—
I jumped.
In a single instant, everything changed.
The sky turned pale white. The giant breach Dorian had made transformed into a massive golden gate.
"I'M FREE!!!!"
I screamed at the top of my lungs.
…
…
At midnight—
Two guards approached the hole Dorian had left on the second floor, one older, one younger, shining their flashlights inside.
"I'm telling you, man," the younger guard said,
"Putting that gorilla in a hospital instead of giving him euthanasia was a huge mistake."
"no shit" the older guard replied, inspecting the hole.
"Seems the owner of this place knows one of Dorian's relatives. That's why he was brought here."
"There's an owner? With all the demonic shit that happens here, I didn't think there was one… I thought this was a money-laundering front."
The older man chuckled lightly, scratching his chin.
"Do you even know what that word means? But you're not entirely wrong. Dorian is one of the most dangerous criminals alive. Even with a childlike mind, his physical abilities surpass any normal being. Leaving that kind of power in the hands of a child trapped in a man's body is extremely dangerous—because he's unpredictable. That's why the nurses treat him differently… compared to, say… his fellow patient, Yang."
Suddenly, the younger guard shouted:
"What the hell is that?!"
The older guard turned in surprise.
"What is it? I know the story's shocking, but not that much—"
The younger guard pointed toward a bush filled with rubble from the breach.
Beneath it lay a corpse with long black hair, its neck bent at an unnatural angle.
It seemed Yang had tried to escape through the opening…
Like Dorian.
But his escape attempted ended in a very unfortunate way
________________________________________
Yang slowly woke up in his bed, scanning the room sluggishly. His eyes were sunken so deeply they almost fused with the inside of his skull.
"Is this a dream?" he asked himself as he examined the room.
The same room.
The very room he'd awakened in fifteen years ago, on that cursed day.
Yang stood up—this time with surprising ease, despite lingering fatigue. The vitality surging through his body now was nothing like what he'd felt in the hospital.
It felt as if his life had been returned to him.
"Hooof…"
He sighed, walking toward the window. A faint reflection of his face appeared.
Long black hair, smooth like silk. Thin eyebrows. Sharp eyes. High, overly prominent cheekbones—features that made him look… feminine.
Yang hated this face.
He hated every detail of it—because it was the reason.
The reason he'd become prey to harassment and rape in that hospital.
He stared longer at his reflection waiting to wake up
But that didnt happen
Sweat streamed down his face. His sunken eyes hollowed further, their redness—evidence of heavy drinking—turning into pooled tears.
He swallowed with difficulty and whispered shakily:
"Did… did I go back in time?"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Loud, harsh pounding shook the door.
"boss!" a voice called from the other side.
Despite using the title, there was no respect in the tone—just loud, abrasive shouting, as if trying to wake him forcibly.
"boss, there's an urgent matter!" the shouting continued.
Urgent my ass.
Yang froze as he stared at the door
He remembered that voice.
The same man… the one who had grabbed him by the neck and thrown him in front of Hanayama.
"Just a moment… let me get dressed and I'll come." Yang replied calmly.
"Tsk." The man clicked his tongue behind the door.
I don't know why I even left my room that day…
This man wasn't even trying to hide his intentions.
Yang walked to the window, opened it quietly, and began climbing down slowly, careful not to make a sound that would alert the man at the other side the door.
Yang landed in the back courtyard and walked toward the exit door—
Tang… crack.
A metal baseball bat smashed into his face.
He collapsed to the ground violently, all his teeth shattered from the impact and a very Sharp pain shot up from his neck. With difficulty ,he looked to see a man in a black jacket and sunglasses, sparse hair on his head and face, approaching slowly. A metal bat gleamed in his hand.
Yang tried to run—but his body wouldn't respond.
He has been paralysed
The only thing that still worked… were his eyes.
"Oh, my bad… I used all my strength on that hit, you filthy bastard."
The bat slammed into his groin with brutal force. Yang's eyes turned white from pain. The man raised the bat again to crush his head—
But couldn't bring it down.
The man turned suddenly, seeing a giant in a white jacket gripping the bat between two fingers. His face was handsome—if not for the two massive X-shaped scars crossing it and The muscles in his jaw he wouldve been as striking as Yang's beauty.
"Enough… he's already dead."
He said it flatly, pulling out a cigarette case.
The bat was immediately dropped. The man bowed deeply.
"Yes, sir."
" good.. " Hanayama turned and walked away calmly.
" huff " the man breathed a sigh of relief Then spat on Yang in contempt then followed Hanayama as they left.