"Sasuke, do you seriously think I'm an idiot?"
Sasuke's face was pitch-black as he clenched his fists, lowering his head to glare sideways at the infuriating bastard in front of him.
Three minutes ago—
Uchiha Ryan, with two long-faced sunflowers perched on his shoulders, had forcibly rescued Sasuke from the Seal of the Warm Blanket.
Freshly awakened, Sasuke's morning rage exploded on the spot.
But the instant he saw those two human-faced sunflowers on Ryan's shoulders, he screamed, dropped straight onto his butt, and scrambled backward on all fours to the corner of the room like his life depended on it.
Then Ryan very seriously told him that the two sunflowers on his shoulders were summoning beasts.
The ninja world was huge—there were ninja dogs, ninja cats, all kinds of summons.
So having ninja sunflowers was perfectly normal.
Sasuke felt shock, disbelief, and a deep, existential sense of "what the hell am I listening to?"
The reason Ryan came looking for Sasuke was simple: he wanted to test whether the sunflowers' healing ability worked on other people.
Before coming in, he'd already confirmed through "communication" that each sunflower could release three light orbs per day.
Six heals in total.
Plenty for himself—
The rest was for experiments.
"I'm not lying. They can talk too."
Ryan said this with a straight face, then turned around and slapped his "left and right guardians" twice.
"Talk."
The sunflowers had already figured out how to survive around this terrifying human. After taking the slaps, they immediately showed off their remarkable vocal range.
The Left Guardian boomed in a deep male voice:
"Give him a show!"
"Grass—let's go! Ignore him~"
The Right Guardian followed orders, letting out a low growl before erupting into a full-on howl:
"AWOOOO—"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF—"
It even leaned toward Sasuke as it barked, looking exactly like a vicious guard dog from a landlord's estate.
Sasuke nearly popped his eyeballs out of their sockets.
"What kind of ninja flower is THIS supposed to be?!"
Ryan's expression remained calm—almost cold.
He slapped both sunflowers again, clearly growing accustomed to this level of absurdity.
"Make two light orbs."
The sunflowers obeyed, closing their eyes as their bodies began to glow.
Sasuke, despite himself, grew curious. He craned his neck, eyes wide, wanting to see what kind of nonsense these dog-like flowers could pull off.
The next second—
A blinding flash filled the room.
Ryan, having learned his lesson the hard way, shut his eyes in advance.
Sasuke was not so fortunate.
"RYAAAN!!!"
Sasuke clutched his eyes and screamed. Even with his eyes closed, the world was still nothing but white.
Once he recovered, a furious Sasuke shoved Ryan straight out of the room and kicked him on the way.
"Get out of my room!"
BANG!
The door slammed shut and locked, leaving Ryan alone in the hallway.
"My fault, my fault… I should've warned you…"
Ryan knocked on the door apologetically.
"But Sasuke, listen—try the light orb inside. See if it heals—"
He'd checked that Sasuke wasn't injured, but before he could explain anything else, he'd been evicted without mercy.
After knocking for a full ten minutes with no response, it was clear Sasuke was genuinely pissed.
"If you don't want to try it, that's fine. I've got to head out."
"I'll bring you dango when I'm back."
Ryan stood there a while longer, then sighed, put away his "guardians," and turned to leave.
"TEN SKEWERS!!"
Sasuke roared from inside the room, still furious—but Ryan's lips curled upward.
"Got it."
Ryan closed the door and left the house.
The Naka River wasn't far, but to avoid suspicion, Ryan wandered the streets as usual.
By the time he reached his destination, he had:
20 skewers of dango and a cake in his left handTwo Shiba Inu from the kennel in his rightSeveral bouquets of chrysanthemums cradled in his arms
The chrysanthemums came from Ino's flower shop.
They were for memorials.
Ryan believed in being prepared.
If Shisui still died like in the original timeline, these flowers would serve as an early tribute.
"Captain Mori, that's Uchiha Ryan."
"Do we monitor him?"
A Root ninja glanced at Ryan's back and quietly reported to his squad leader.
"An unawakened waste," Mori replied coldly.
After a pause, his tone grew strange.
"Danzo-sama said… even if Fugaku's two younger sons awaken the Sharingan, don't bring them to him."
"Use them for experiments instead."
Mori clearly remembered the disgust on Danzo's face when mentioning those two kids.
As if stupidity was contagious through the Sharingan.
Mori understood completely.
Other Uchiha had personality flaws—
Those two kids were just broken.
"Withdraw. Shift focus to Shisui and Itachi."
The Root operatives vanished from the rooftops.
As they left, a silver-haired man perched in a tree snapped his book shut with a 啪.
"Chrysanthemums?"
"Offerings?"
"That's… for the dead."
Kakashi narrowed one eye as he watched Uchiha Ryan walk away.
But the direction he was heading…
It wasn't a graveyard.
Frowning slightly, Kakashi slipped the book into his pouch and disappeared.
Ryan spent nearly two hours wandering the village to "trigger quests" before finally reaching the Naka River at sunset.
The area was vast. Based on canon alone, there was no way to pinpoint where Shisui had jumped.
So Ryan followed his instincts.
He placed the chrysanthemums along the riverbank, weighing them down with stones so they wouldn't be blown away.
At each spot, he clasped his hands together and silently mourned for a few seconds.
Six spots along the river.
Three more atop the cliff.
After completing this early memorial, Ryan began walking the Shiba Inu nearby, scouting for a temporary hiding place.
From the treetops, Kakashi watched the entire process, utterly speechless.
Watching Uchiha Ryan walk dogs after spending the day buying bizarre items and conducting a full-blown "preemptive memorial"—
Kakashi had only one conclusion.
"…What an idiot."
With that, he reopened his book, leaned against a rock, and resumed reading Jiraiya's literary masterpiece.
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