„I am searching for my place. Though it feels hopeless, I'll keep looking for it. Nothing good comes from giving up."- Hillary Wolf
The brunette girl gathered all of her courage and made up her mind. She had to speak to Sylas, things couldn't keep carrying on like this.
During break, she took a deep breath and approached him in a shy manner.
Her hands were in her pockets, and the unsure steps she was taking were unusual to see for someone so confident in herself.
„Hey, Sylas!"
„What do you want?"
„After further investigation, I've decided that I will not be planning to never speak to you ever again."
„Wow, lucky me, I guess. Why the sudden change of heart?"
Vivien was thinking about how unhappy he looked.
She assumed she shouldn't have talked to him, but she realized that he asked her a question. What did he ask, again? She snapped out of the state of daze and quickly answered.
„Huh, what do you mean?"
„Don't act stupid. You heard me. Why the sudden change of heart?
„I... I don't know why."
There was an awkward silence after Vivien said those words, and she needed to search for something to say to break the moment and make them both feel comfortable.
„Sooo... want to go together to the library today? You were eager to meet there with me, but.. uh... not this library from school, because it kind of travels in time, and we sort of just found out about that. Haha..."
„Yeah, sure, why not? You already bailed on me once, so I won't let you do it this time. Hm, I'm starting to think you're scared of me."
„No, I'm not."
„Well, it's not like you to stutter, miss "I'm not scared of anything". Did you think I'd forget about the moment you told me you're fearless? I bet you lied about being courageous. If you went on a holiday and saw a snake, you'd jump in fear and run all the way to Kilimanjaro."
„How would you know what scares me, you jerk? It's definitely not you the one that scares me, just for your information."
Was he dissimulating his own feelings? Perhaps he was hiding away his true thoughts behind close doors that were arduous to get to.
She wished to figure out what was going on inside his head in the few seconds he saw her getting close, but as every single time, she kept everything she was contemplating a secret.
She had too many closed doors as well, but perhaps, the boy walking alongside her wasn't wiping the dust off of the thoughts caged inside one's soul every single day, like she used to do. It was petty of her to keep thinking about that. Too petty, too trivial, too minor...
„On behalf of my own absurd ideals, I will be honest and say that wearing a yellow bolo tie to school is... unearthly."
He reached a hand toward his neck and touched the accesorry, looking down at it as if he forgot he was wearing it.
He probably did forget he had it on.
„Jealous of my adorable bolo tie, darling?"
„It's a mere opinion, you don't have to feel discouraged by it."
The boy's black hair and blue eyes definitely made an interesting contrast with the yellow. They didn't have a special uniform for school, so everyone going to Elton High was allowed to wear anything they wanted.
Vivien wished there was a uniform implemented, so she wouldn't need to have to choose her own clothes that matched color or that fitted the mood she was in, whilst Sylas was more than content to have the freedom of choosing whatever he wanted to wear.
The boy would play around with his appearance and even wear hats to school whenever he felt like it, impersonating characters in front of others.
Vivien didn't even imagine herself doing such a thing.
She presumed that she found out what the biggest difference between her and him was. He would allow himself to show his true self in front of others, whereas she kept every part of herself concealed in vines of leaves and perturbation.
The two kept up the pace until they reached the door of her favorite place besides the coffee shop.
The girl opened the door to the library and a radiant smile plastered on her face, her brown eyes taking in the sorroundings. A gentle breeze coming from the open door made her brunette hair softly fly around her as if trying to hug her.
Sylas stepped in behind her and closed the door, showing indignation.
„According to the book, a real gentleman should open the door for a girl. You messed that one up."
„Oh, ha-ha-ha."
„What's wrong? I thought you liked performing the act of being in love with me. This gentleman must be either fed up to a certain degree, or totally infatuated with me. Hm... that rhymed."
„You think it's an act?"
Vivien pretended as if she couldn't hear the question and turned her head away from his gaze, pouting slightly in fear.
She walked forward and couldn't help but glance at the enormous bookshelves and amount of people walking by.
This was the biggest library in Tallis, being renowned for its warm atmosphere and boundless choices for whichever literary work people wished to delve their minds deeper into.
In the middle stood a small stand where a librarian was on his feet and was reading. The man had glasses on and fixed them up with his finger.
On the right and left side of the stand were wooden spiral staircases going to the second floor.
Behind the man were all the bookshelves she could ever wish to see. Her feet moved forward without saying anything to Sylas, hoping he would follow her and not ask about why she ignored him.
Her hands grasped the cover of one literary work she read the title of, thinking it was enthralling.
„I'll look for a book. Let's see... something catching to confide to...", Vivien said, trying to end the silence between them as she rummaged through the bookshelf.
„Aren't you always looking for books? It's gotten pretty boring."
„That's what we came to this place for, right? You reached out to me first in order to visit the library together, but that was longer ago."
„Right... you didn't come here to talk to me, you came for the novels.", he muttered those last few words, and she couldn't hear them as she was too focused on searching.
„Oh, I just remembered... you should go to a cardiologist. You might have a heart problem."
„What? Why would I have a heart problem?"
„Umm... uh..."
„Okay, this is starting to get pretty weird. I think I'm going to be the one bailing now."
„Uuuh... I had a pretty peculiar dream last night. It was about someone telling me that your heart might be sick. I mean... you might be sick, and your heart might be the problem. You get the idea.", she gestured with her hands, feeling uncomfortable.
„Suuuure."
„You don't believe me, do you?", her arms dropped to the sides, dejected at the idea he didn't trust her enough to believe her.
„I wonder why I even gave you a chance to talk to me after all of this."
„All of what, exactly? Can't you be more specific? Stop trying to sound so cryptic when speaking, I might throw up because it's disgusting."
„All I'm saying is that you can't handle me, darling. You're clearly acting this strange because you're afraid of me. Everyone is."
„Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm not scared of you!"
„Perhaps you have an anxiety issue about talking to others?"
„You're going to give me an anxiety issue if you keep talking about this. Since when do you think of yourself as so important that people need to get the „privilege" to talk to you? Since when do you think you're a great psychologist? I'll assure you, people are not scared of you, they certainly don't need to get the privilege to speak to a loser like you, and you don't have a psychology degree! Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to search for my book."
„Geez, calm down, shortie, it wasn't even that deep. I was only messing around with you."
„Surely..."
„Well... this isn't fun, at all. I'm out. Good luck finding your book, because I'm not going to bother you anymore. Therefore, you might as well thank me for pitying you and leaving you in your own natural habitat. I sure hope eating books for lunch is amusing to you."
„At least go to a doctor if you decide to run away from here like a coward!"
„You're not a telepath, and you can't tell me what to do. Goodbye, see you never, hopefully, weirdo!"
„The only weirdo is you!"
„What a way to throw that back in my face. You're such a line master!"
He waved at her in a sluggish manner, then turned around and left her by herself in the library full of people walking by, also looking around to find a tale that would resonate with them.
The girl suddenly had an idea as she watched Sylas leaving. In order to make him interested in hearing what she had to say, she would catch him during lunch break at school and make him meet Jude.
That would give her enough time to think of how to convince him to visit his future self, but would him meeting his future self be a good plan?