"Punishment? Death by beheading!!!"
I have lost count of how many times I've died. Three? Four?, honestly it doesn't even matter anymore.
They all blur together, the screams, the look of disdain, the blood and even the cold steel of the executioner's blade. And yet, here I am, knees pressed against the rough surface of this wooden platform, again. Waiting to remind me how cruel my own story can be.
"Any last words?" Erik's voice cut through the crowd. My eyes instinctively drifted towards Lucian. Lucian…my beloved Lucian, were lines I wrote, but now hate.
What was I on when I came up with those lines?
I muttered under my breath.
"Even in that very moment, You still cling to the love of a man who wants nothing to do with you"
Erik scoffed.
The Crown Prince of Saenia. Proud and mighty. My throat tightened, my chests arched, I couldn't even summon the anger I usually wear as an armor.
You know what, just do it already. I say to myself exhausted from this seemingly endless cycle. Let's just end it, let me die. Again.
I glance at the townspeople below, eyes hungry for blood… yelling the words on repeat "behead the witch. Their voices hitting like a gust of hatred, one which I swore I understood before I created them.
Although it was becoming boring. Facts still remained, I was about to be beheaded. And it was painful.
I gazed downwards. My eyes locked in with a look of pain, desperation, hurt, and love. The look of a father who couldn't do anything to protect his beloved daughter.
Broken.
Maimed. He had given celestine everything. Spoiled her to the bone. And yet, never taught her to handle the cruelty of this world.
But whose fault is it really?. His?. Mine?. I created this world. I knew better.
Isn't this a befitting ending for a villainess?. But why does it hurt so much?
I have gone through a few deaths as Celestine. Each time after meeting her end, I restart this harsh world.
At first I thought it was a blessing. To explore the world I created, and that so as a character. But after reaching the end, and going through the story over and over again, it began to dawn on me. I was trapped. In a world where I was fated to have a miserable ending.
No matter what path I walk. No matter how much I struggle, the story snaps me back into place like a cage.
Every loop only proves it further. I wrote celestine to fall. To break. To be hated.
And now I, Ray Degrassi, am celestine. Living every consequence I ever created.
My eyes unintentionally locked with his… Lucian. Suddenly a pit of rage ignited within me, bubbling up with something colder, sadness. Celestine loved, and the price was death?. How unfair.
Just then. As I was about to accept my cruel fate, my gaze fell upon someone. A man. Wearing a black cloak.
It was weird. He could have easily passed as one of the townspeople yet something inside me whispered otherwise. This person was different. And suddenly, just as quickly as I had noticed, he disappeared.
My gaze combed through the sea of people. But like a shadow, he had appeared and disappeared without a trace.
My mind claimed it to be an imagination, but my instincts screamed otherwise.
In all the times I have restarted this cycle, I have never seen this character.
This was no coincidence.
Erik lifted up his hands. And with a single wave, Everywhere went pitch black.
Was this it?. Have I been beheaded?.
A bright light pierced the darkness. My eyes initially stung from the brightness. But then I could see it clearly.
An icon appeared before my eyes, with the words clearly written, lit up in blue.
Congratulations Ray, Your free trial has been exhausted. You can now rewrite the story.
What does this mean? Words couldn't convey how confused I was. This had never happened before. Why now?
You will be given Two options: Will you join the experience?
A) Yes: Restart the story and create a worthy ending and go back to the real world.
B) No: End the contract here.
"What happens if I choose No?" I gulped, patiently waiting for a reply.
You meet the same fate as Celestine. PERMANENTLY.
Warning: This is the last trial.
A cold dread settled in my spine. But beneath it, something else stirred. Maybe, just maybe it was finally time to put an end to this miserable story, once and for all.
The screen glowed, my heart hammered as I stared intensely at the choices.
YES OR NO?.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
I bolted upright, my hands flying to my neck, as cold sweat streamed down my forehead. I could still feel it. The faint sharp sting of the icy blade upon my neck.
I have gone through the loop of dying four times, but the pain and heart ache still remained the same.
I should be used to it by now, but each time it feels like the pain is worse.
The memory alone sends shivers down my spine.
My eyes darted around in confusion. One moment I was in an execution ground, the next in a fancy bedroom, wrapped in a silk nightgown and golden bed linen.
Was I hallucinating?, I asked myself, a little still disoriented. Trying to make sense of my last moments before it went dark.
But I didn't have the luxury to linger in my denial, because right then, hovering before my very eyes, an icon flashed before me.
The same icon I had seen before I woke up. And the words written boldly on it.
Congratulations Ray. On choosing Option A. Restart the story and create a worthy ending.
Yes. In that last moment, I had chosen. But now I can't make sense of whether it was anger or desperation.
I must be at the start right?.
Quickly I tossed the golden blanket that was wrapped over me to the side, rushing up, but immediately falling to the ground.
My legs felt numb. Probably my body remembering my last moments at the execution grounds.
I rushed to the mirror.
And Of course, the unrecognizable yet familiar entity stared back at me. Dark eyes, the kind that held storms behind them, and hair long, wavy and raven black tumbling down my shoulders like spilled ink. I had once again become Celestine Varon dulf.
A sudden crash jolted me. Tray clattered to the floor, a loud cry followed.
"SHE'S AWAKE!!"
I spun towards the sound of the scream, my elbows nudging down a flower vase from the vanity, spilling the water across the polished floor.
"Master!!!…. Master.. she is.. the lady has awoken". The words I could make out, echoing through the hallways.
Voices ran down the corridor. They were urgent, frantic, overlapping each other.
Moments later, Celestine's nanny stumbled in, already in tears. Followed by the Marquis.
Marquis Damascus varon dulf.
Celestine's father.
And a few shaken maids ordered to get a cup of water and clear up the broken pieces of glass.
"My lady…. Celestine" Nanny Elara sobbed, pressing her trembling hands over my face, keenly inspecting me, then pulling in suddenly for an embrace, "Thank the heavens, this is not a dream, you are awake."
I gave a sheepish smile trying to process what was going on. That's right, "I'm awake and I'm back again".
"Yes my lady," Elara whispered, her voice thick with emotions, as she whipped the tears that drizzled down her chin. "We thank the heavens for bringing you back to us".
My breath hitched, heart dropping into my gut. Did I hear her wrong..., or…..did she just hear my words?. My actual words?.
I glanced at the marquis, he looked pale as though he had aged ten years. "Yes… indeed, the heavens be praised" he said. He let out a sigh, smiling back, as a look of relief shimmered in his pupils.
Nanny Elara guided me gently to my bed.
I was confused why the maid had run out screaming, and even more confused why they were all acting in this manner.
Did this happen in my book?.
"What's going on?" I asked them, trying to get information to make sense of their behaviours.
"We were all worried for you" The marquis responded. Sitting besides, brows still arched in concern, "don't you remember what happened".
I shake my head. My mind is still in haze.
"The doctor feared you might lose your memories" The nanny chimed in, wiping up her snort filled nose that trickled down with a handkerchief, while trying to calm down.
"You've been unconscious for a week… since the accident," Celestine's father explained.
What?
"The doctor…. We didn't know if you'd ever wake…"
My confusion must have shown, because the nanny rushed closer, wiping her eyes.
"You… you don't remember my lady?" She asked. As everyone stared at me with so much fear, sadness and concern.
"I do…, except what happened". Breaths of relief were taken around the room. Then she exchanged a grave look with the marquis before continuing.
"You heard a rumor….. a terrible rumor…. That the Duke of Northhill, he didn't wish to marry you. And he'd chosen to remain at the kingdom's borders even though it was His Majesty's order he remained there.
Her voice cracked.
"You were heartbroken…. You begged the marquis to plead with the king to reconsider his order he had made. Or else…. Or else you would throw yourself into the lake"
She swallowed thickly. Her vision blurring up once again.
"And you did, when we pulled you out…. You did not wake, and.." she began to sobb. Cries louder than earlier.
"We were… all scared my lady…" she said, bawling her eyes till she was moved aside by a maid signaled by the marquis to be comforted.
The marquis sat forward, his hands held onto mine. "My dear ... .to protect you I have done as you wished…., although the king is unwell, I convinced the crown prince and the council to bring the duke back immediately. The crown prince has signed the decree, rest assured you will be married to your beloved in no time.
Ofcourse. It was classic celestine, her signature brand of cruelty. If she can't twist others to bend to her will, she'll twist herself instead. Emotionally, physically, Dramatically. Manipulating the world just as long as she got what she wanted. But why would she do that now?.
"Promise me," the marquis said gently, pressing his trembling hands onto mine "now that the duke is returning, you won't pull such a stunt again?".
"I promise…," I started automatically.
Then the rest of his words slammed into me like a brick "wait what?…."
I blicked, sitting upright," sorry… pardon me?". The marquis frowned, Elara stiffened beside him, she had finally stopped crying. The maids present exchanged uneasy glances.
"What did you just say?." I asked again, slower and more polite "Father?".
"Promise me?."
"No, after that…."
The marquis inhaled deeply as though bracing himself "The duke" he said "is returning?…."
No no no…. That's impossible.
This event wasn't supposed to happen, until later on after the story began.
The beginning should have been Lucian's 6th birthday party. Celestine as a spoiled brat.
The disaster at the lake.
So why was I here?.
I hadn't realized it earlier because my mind was still in haze, but I was grown Celestine.
Why was I grown celestine?
I clearly picked Restart the story.
Was there a glitch?. But, even so, I died originally, so aren't I supposed to restart… like with my previous loop?
Why was I waking up in this part of the story?
My voice cracked " w..what day is it?"
The nanny answered gently, "the 12th day of the 2nd month, my lady. One week… after the accident."
My stomach dropped. My mind raced through the plotline I had created.
"My lady…. Are you ok?" Nanny Elara asked. Cold sweat broke down my forehead, as my face immediately turned pale.
"My dear…" the marquis called out, voice alarmed. etched with worry. "Are you feeling unwell?"
"This won't do…" the nanny protested, as panic flowed through her. "Call for a doctor," she ordered. The maids instantly dismissing to get help for the young lady.
And I laid there in realization. In a few months, I will be executed. And in a few days, the events that led to my dreadful ending is about to unfold.
My gaze drifted towards the icon that glowed non stop above my head. My eyes wide in confusion.
The words boldly written:
CONGRATULATIONS RAY, YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE OPTION TO RESTART THE STORY AND REWRITE A WORTHY ENDING.
Warning: This is the last trial