Lin Qiu leaned back in his recliner, belly bulging, face pallid, eyes vacant, hands dangling limply, and some unidentified liquid dribbling from the corner of his mouth.
Of course, he hadn't been broken by anything. He had just eaten a big meal.
Across from him, Charlotte was also reclining in her chair, gently rubbing her little belly. She hadn't eaten as much as Lin Qiu, so hers wasn't sticking out.
"Ahh, I sure miss this taste."
Charlotte squinted her eyes in enjoyment. It had been ages since she'd had home-cooked food from Liyue.
"Teacher Qiucheng, do you like Fontaine cuisine?"
Charlotte looked at Lin Qiu, who had the look of someone completely burned out, and asked.
"I used to like it quite a bit. Now..."
"Now I just hate my curiosity for getting the better of me."
Lin Qiu glanced at the "delicacy" on the table. Just one look nearly made him hurl.
What sat on that table was the infamous "Fishy Chant Pie," also known as Stargazing.
Out of curiosity, Lin Qiu had ordered one after finishing his proper meal to give it a try. But he never imagined its destructive power would be this exaggerated.
He had completely forgotten the flavors of the delicious food he'd eaten earlier. Now, his taste buds felt ambushed, and his mind was filled with the wails of a school of fish.
"Ahaha... This shop's Fishy Chant Pie is notoriously bad. Next time, I'll take you somewhere that does it properly." Charlotte let out an awkward laugh.
She actually thought this dish was pretty dark cuisine too. She'd tried it out of curiosity once, and luckily, hers hadn't been one of the weird ones.
So if prepared right, it could be quite tasty. This time, though, it clearly wasn't.
"So it's notoriously bad, huh?" Lin Qiu thought back to the waiter's expression—surprised yet puzzled, puzzled yet admiring.
He'd wondered back then why the waitress had such a rich range of expressions.
Now, glancing up at her again, she was watching him with a look that screamed, "That's exactly the face I wanted to see." He suddenly felt enlightened and let out a laugh.
The eternal prankster finally gets pranked. He'd gone from being the one making fun to the one getting made fun of.
"If I'd known eating could lead to... getting backstabbed like this." Lin Qiu looked like he was about to cry.
He vaguely remembered the game's description of this dish being pretty normal, which was why he'd ordered it out of curiosity. Who knew he'd be so unlucky as to get a weird one.
"Oh dear, have some Fonta." Charlotte handed him a bottle of Fonta.
Lin Qiu chugged it down in big gulps.
"Phew, refreshing and delicious. Feels like the bubbles are surging through my limbs, making my body and soul feel reborn."
He was alive again, that is.
"Pfft..." Charlotte couldn't hold back her laughter at Lin Qiu's state.
Out of politeness, she didn't laugh loudly. Instead, she lightly covered her mouth with both hands, trying her best to stifle it.
It was then that Charlotte noticed an acquaintance watching them from not far away, full of amusement.
She found it odd. Why was the other standing so far away? Why not just come over?
"Miss Xie Ni." Charlotte took the initiative to greet her.
The security team member called Xie Ni finally walked over.
"Sorry, Miss Charlotte. It seems I've interrupted your date." Xie Ni smiled as she approached.
"Date?" Charlotte's face, already slightly flushed from holding back laughter, turned even redder.
"You've got it wrong. We're just friends."
"Just friends?" Xie Ni glanced at Charlotte, whose face was beet red (from stifling laughs), and Lin Qiu, who looked refreshed like a spring breeze (full revival!). She smiled without saying a word.
"Yes. This is Lin Qiu, a novelist who's just arrived in Fontaine." Charlotte introduced him to her.
"This is Xie Ni. She's on the security team and a genius too." She then said to Lin Qiu.
The reason Charlotte knew Xie Ni was because Xie Ni had turned down an invitation from the Fontaine Academy of Sciences. How could she not interview her about that?
"Hello."
The two exchanged greetings and got acquainted.
"Welcome to Fontaine, Mr. Lin Qiu. I hope you have a great time here."
"But I have work to do. Senior Freyris is still waiting for me, so I won't keep you two company. This meal's on me."
After saying that, Xie Ni had the waiter put the bill on her tab and left without paying heed to Charlotte's refusals.
In the distance, a middle-aged man was waiting for her and her friend to finish chatting.
'Emotion Value gained: 100'
'Emotion source: Xie Ni'
'Emotion content: That idiot Senior Freyris, why didn't he recognize me?'
Freyris? Xie Ni?
That's when Lin Qiu remembered who they were. They didn't appear much in the game, and their models looked pretty generic. He'd honestly blanked on Xie Ni's name at first.
But with the system's hint, it clicked.
Weren't these the two leads from Genshin's West Slice Mrs.—er, the mischievous junior Xie Ni and the youthful pigheaded middle-aged guy who dreams of his security team junior?
Watching the two walk off side by side, Lin Qiu thought, Am I seriously living a fanfic episode? I'm out! Jumped!
Dead again, that is.
"Ah, since Miss Xie Ni covered this meal, next time I'll treat you, Teacher Qiucheng." Charlotte said.
She wasn't one to take advantage of others. She'd promised to treat him to lunch, so how could she let someone else pay and call it her treat?
It was like heavenly music to his ears! Another feast incoming!
In Lin Qiu's mind, Charlotte's words translated to "Rise again, my love!"
Alive once more, that is.
"Let's go, Teacher Qiucheng. I'll take you to find a place to stay first."
As it turned out, Charlotte really did have her finger on the pulse of information. She knew exactly which places were good and available for rent. It didn't take long before she helped Lin Qiu sort out his housing.
And now Lin Qiu was completely broke. He'd used his last savings to pay the rent.
Before leaving, Charlotte gave Lin Qiu her contact info and address. Seeing how strapped for cash he was, she said he was welcome to come over for free meals anytime she was home.
"Finally, I can lie in bed and rest properly." Lin Qiu luxuriated on the bed.
He had no idea how long he'd been on that ship to get to Fontaine. Even lying on a non-rocking bed felt a bit off.
"My novel's about to go on sale in Mondstadt soon. Wonder what the Mondstadters will think when they read it."
"It'll be hilarious once the events in the novel start coming true one by one."
Just thinking about the potential fun made Lin Qiu too excited to sleep. This way of spoiling the future was not only perfectly legal but would have people begging him for more spoilers.
And he could watch everyone's reactions from a future perspective, especially the people involved. That was bound to be pure entertainment.
Imagine Shadow Treasure getting fed snacks and light novels by that scummy fox. If he pulled a hiatus right in the middle of her storyline, it'd be so satisfying.
Of course, it wasn't for the fun of it. It was just to gather more emotions. All for saving the world. Shadow Treasure would surely understand.
He wondered if Aha would take notice if he kept this up.
When that happened, he'd chant and transform too. He even had the chant ready.
I come to seek joy, I come to make merry, I come to delight!
I don the mask of revelry, mock the masses, and await the show's beginning!
All offered to—the God of Entertainment!