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Chapter 67 - Because These Are Uncle’s "Golden Balls!

It's been fifteen days since that first day, two weeks have passed.

According to Yasaka-san, dropouts should start appearing soon.

She's monitoring the other mansion too and says people are starting to murmur things like "What the hell am I doing here…?" with dark eyes. Once one person drops out, the rest will collapse like a landslide.

I heard that just this morning.

Now, under the moonlight, the field of silvergrass is trampled flat, the air thick with the dust of battle.

Right now, I'm using my right Divine Artifact, the Zarich, shaped like a fang, to parry a downward strike from a club. I stab Zarich into the ground, sealing the weapon, then, using the momentum as I tilt to the right, I spin and land a roundhouse kick with my left leg square into my attacker's jaw.

Can't be bothered to pull Zarich out, so I abandon it and half-spin to fire a ki blast from my right hand, realigning my stance. A sword then swings in from my left, last time I failed trying to counter it with a flashy defense, but this time I caught the sword between the blades of my left Divine Artifact, Tawrich, twist hard, and snap it in two. I then dismiss Tawrich and drive my left fist straight into the attacker's face.

Just like Yasaka-san said, the momentum compared to the early days has definitely dropped off, which means I'm not getting overwhelmed as much, but that doesn't mean every attack can be avoided.

Case in point: as my left arm is still extended from that punch, a saber-toothed enemy lunges at me, aiming those two massive fangs right for it.

"GAGII!"

I focus my aura on the two points where the fangs dig in, neutralizing the strike. I've had a lot of chances to practice this defense these past two weeks, it's starting to feel natural. For obvious attacks, like finger strikes, I can even imitate a certain Failed Knight.

"Sorry, I like cats, but not enough to let one cling to me like this!"

With a shout, I blast a ki bullet right into the open maw, forcing it back. Then I grab the two fangs with both hands, swing the creature around like a windmill, clearing out nearby enemies, and finally hurl it straight into the densest enemy cluster.

…What's that? What happened to the other fiancées, the ones who started this whole mess?

Ah. Right. Let me show you...

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★ The Daily Life of the Fiancées ★

Day 1: Overwhelmed by the mob. Day ends.

Day 2: First move, back of the head slammed. Every time they wake from unconsciousness, Yakuza kick.

Day 3: Face slammed into the ground. Then Yakuza kick.

Day 4: Gut punch. You get the idea.

Day 5: Knee to the stomach..

Day 6: Lariat followed by a face stomp. Again.

Day 7: German suplex. Rinse, repeat.

Day 8: Axe kick to the skull. Yadda yadda.

Day 9: Elbow drop. You know the drill.

Day 10: Somersault kick. Same story.

Day 11: Shoryuken. Next!

Day 12: Muscle Buster. You get the picture.

Day 13: Lion Combo (Naruto). You already know.

Day 14: Secret Taijutsu Ultimate: One Thousand Years of Death (Naruto). As expected.

Today:Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken. And so on...

Yeah... not gonna lie. I may have started mixing in joke techniques as stress relief. Of course, I haven't actually learned the Hokuto Hundred Crack Fist, I just wildly jabbed their pressure points while messing with their internal energy using senjutsu.

Also, I made sure to toss them aside at the start so they wouldn't get caught up in the chaos, waking them up with senjutsu just enough so they wouldn't sleep too long. That way, when they came to, I could be the one to personally knock them out again.

According to Yasaka-san, at first they were yelling stuff like "Let me out! Do you know who I am!?" But now, they can't even sleep properly at night, shaking in the corners of their rooms, praying to their gods (Amaterasu?) and desperately confessing everything they've done wrong.

Frankly, I don't feel bad. They tried to gang up on one person with over 300 people, why should I show mercy? They could learn a thing or two from the guts of the Kunou fans.

", ! Oh?"

Looks like one of them woke up again. I always use a mild stimulant senjutsu at the end of each beatdown, so even their battered bodies can't stay unconscious forever.

I leap over the crowd and head toward the candidates. One of them, in mid-air, fires off a kind of flare, never seen before. Maybe I knocked them out too fast in the past.

When I land, I see that it was the old tanuki, Danzaburou, who fired the flare.

Yasaka-san told me to thoroughly break his spirit… maybe this time I'll try talking instead.

Lately, even the crowd stays quiet when I'm punishing someone, so I figure I can have a little chat.

"P-Please… have mercy! I'll pay! As much as you want! Just let me go, even if it's just me!"

Wow. First words out of his mouth are a bribe. And just him, huh? Yeah, I'm definitely smashing this guy.

"Oh? Mercy, you say? And what exactly are you asking forgiveness for? Say it, clearly."

"I-I riled everyone up… tried to take you down..."

I tap him lightly on the head, and he immediately looks nauseous. That was senjutsu disrupting his sense of balance. Probably feels like he just spun in a theme park teacup ride at max speed.

"That's all?"

This guy messed with not just me, but Kunou and Yasaka-san. I bet he's hiding more. Let's squeeze him.

"I-I'll step down as a fiancé… I'll pay for everyone's medical costs, too!"

I jam my thumb into his gut. Now he's doubled over in agony. Bonus: I infused it with effects to induce both sleep and wakefulness, basically a truth serum. Let's see if he starts talking.

"Aghhh!! I-I'll send an apology gift to Yasaka-dono too!!"

Still no apology to Kunou?

I create a light ki bullet and blast it into the symbol of his manhood. Pseudo-nut shot.

"If you don't spill everything, next time I'll make it permanent."

Whatever he imagined must've been pretty vivid. He turns ghostly pale and starts screaming, 

Pain. Fear. Fatigue. Dizziness. Drowsiness. Adrenaline. 

Everything mixing together…

"I—I poisoned Yasaka's husband!!"

"…What?"

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