She started a bath after Jaia had left to discuss tactics with the menfolk of her life, ignoring them as she moodily paced across the living room naked and ignoring Uzo, who had covered his eyes, and Daemon, who had turned to stare.
They had a weird dynamic, with Uzo feeling more like family and Daemon being the obsessed ex-husband who wouldn't go away.
But she felt other eyes on her and it was like his lips had brushed the back of her neck, leaving her flushing as she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door quickly behind her.
She could hear the soft murmurs of voices that sounded angry, but she ignored them as she prepared for bed and when Jaia came in, she smiled.
He looked tense but she moved to him regardless, meaning to pull him towards the bath with her but he resisted, looking down at her with an odd expression.
"No, Etani I can't," he said stiffly, and she went still, confusion written across her face.
"What's wrong?" she asked, a note of fear in her voice.
"We can't do this," he breathed.
Cold shot through her. She didn't understand, and his words stung. "What? Why not?" she asked, doing her best not to start crying.
"You're human. I would kill you."
"You wouldn't kill me," she whispered, unsure and not caring.
"Yes, I would." His voice was cold. She searched his face, but his eyes told her nothing at all.
"I don't understand," she breathed.
His lip curled. "Yes, you do. You know what I'm talking about. You know you're too weak."
His words cut her like a knife, and she took a step back from him.
"Why would you say that?" she whispered, barely able to speak.
"I need someone stronger. Someone who can keep pace with me." And then he said the words that destroyed her. "You will never be enough for me."
Her head swam as he stared down his nose at her, too shocked that she couldn't even bring herself to cry.
"I see," she said finally, unable to focus on him anymore, only the way the room swam around her. "Thank you for telling me."
She had meant to sound sarcastic, but her voice was empty. He nodded, stalking from the room and closing the door sharply behind him.
Turning, she looked at the bath and then the rest of the room, everything seeming to sparkle around her, and she touched her eyes to find them wet with clear tears. Human tears.
Reaching into the water, she splashed her face to remove the last of the blood and removed the plug from the drain, forcing herself to calm down. She needed to deal with this, she could fall apart later.
Looking at her face in the mirror, she turned away from the woman who was not her, the human that had given her heart to a man who didn't love her.
That thought broke her, the first time she had given herself chance to love and it had ended before it had even started.
Sinking to the floor, she cried silently but didn't give herself time to focus, instead she picked herself up by the scruff and packed up her grief, forcing it down in the back of her mind. She would not think about him again.
Something bright had caught her attention as she had been getting dressed and she looked down, a moment of pristine terror filling her as she saw that gold chain and little bell at her ankle. It was only then that she realised she hadn't been tuning it out.
Lifting her foot off the ground, she tapped the ball of her foot on the ground and listened. Nothing.
There was no sound coming from it, it was silent.
For one blissful instant she felt relief that maybe, just maybe the thing had broken and then her bliss popped like a soap bubble. No, it hadn't broken. It was working just fine; it was her who was broken. She couldn't hear it because she was not a mythical.
The realisation hit her like a physical blow as the situation really hit her, the full knowledge that Epharis had stripped her of everything until she was raw and naked.
Giving the bell a flick, a sob escaped her when nothing came from the stupid gold.
It might have been a symbol of her enslavement, but it had also been a friendly reminder that she was something more, something powerful and something that could make a difference. In that instant she felt a sudden, desperate need to hear that bell again. She wanted it like her human body wanted food.
She didn't want to be human, she wanted to be a mythical.
***
It took her several long minutes to be able to move on from the horror and fear of her realisation that she was very much a human now, before she had the mental capacity to leave the room.
Slipping from the room after she had dressed, she found the man missing and no one seemed to notice that anything was amiss. She went immediately for Versalis, sitting close at his side and he wrapped his arm around her tightly.
"What are we planning?" she asked as Versalis frowned in irritation.
"Well, at this stage we have three choices. You have three choices. Two of them involve us running to Faerie and hiding out until it can be expanded. The last involves you getting your magic back."
Looking up at Versalis, she frowned as well
"How do you think we might get my magic back?"
"Daemon has a plan."
"We go through the line and have each species share their gift with you. We go along in order, just in case."
Etani tilted her head and frowned, turning to the shelf that held her family tree.
Standing, she fetched it and all the paperwork, setting it out on the table between them.
"Do you remember the order?" she asked.
He snorted, looking at her. "I wrote that tree and left it for you to find. Of course I remember," he snapped.
Her eyes snapped up. Her face made him pale slightly and he made an effort to moderate his tone.
"I wanted you to know what you were. So I made sure it was there when you went looking."
Lowering her eyes to the tree, she tapped her index finger on the first two, only having the name of the woman and the species of the male.
"Ah yes, Villaria. My beloved wife."
The silence that followed was absolute as they all looked up at him in horror.
"Excuse me?" she finally asked. He blinked, looking confused.
"Villaria was my wife. I started this all off."
"That… that is so gross…" Uzo said, though Etani had been thinking it.
"You have been trying to sleep with me all this time, and you're related to me?" She couldn't hide the disgust from her tone and her face showed her horror.
"You are the fifty-first child born to this line, Etani. I hardly consider that a close family connection."
Kai was choking on his laughter while making a half attempt to hide it, which was failing.
"She's still your direct descendant. That's revolting!" Uzo exclaimed but she had stopped listening.
His words had triggered a memory and her head tilted as she tried to pick up the tantalising hint of information.
"I'm the Winter Queen," she said finally, the memory bursting back into crystal clarity.
"What?" Versalis demanded, looking at her.
"I'm the Queen of Winter," she repeated, her eyes turning to Uzo who was smiling slightly.
"No, Megara is," Versalis said, frowning when Uzo laughed.
"Megara is the chosen heir. Etani is the direct bloodline. The only remaining female born to Tatialia. It makes her the actual heir and Megara as the heir apparent. Who told you?"
"Nyrellia, the second heir to Summer."
Uzo nodded while she shook her head at the thought.
"Why is it I can't tap into Faerie if I am the Winter Queen?"
"I suspect it is because you never accepted your role. Now you are no longer a Fae, you cannot. Faerie will not recognise you."
Looking at Versalis, he nodded slowly, and she let out a slow breath.
"So, it is safe to assume that because I am not a Fae, Megara is now the Winter Queen in full?" Uzo nodded and she looked around the room. "So what happens if I take back my magic?"
The room was silent for a long moment.
"Then you have to deal with an angry ex-queen who wants to be queen again. But while you're alive, you're a threat."
"And dead, she becomes the queen forever," Etani finished.
"Unless she kills you, you will always be a threat," Uzo said slowly, looking at Daemon who looked like he was going to explode.
"We will worry about that later. Either way, you will be a target," he seemed to perk up slightly. "And if you're a human in Faerie you are at a greater risk. Even a vampire in Faerie will be at risk."
"Those are your choices, Etani. You can be hunted as a human, a vampire, or a Fae. Regardless, you will be hunted," Uzo said, his words sounding harsh even though he said them gently.
"Well, I guess there really is no choice is there..." she sighed, wanting desperately to just live a normal life.
"Yes, there is," Versalis said gently. "The choice is between Faerie or the human world. The choice is for you to be human, a vampire, or a Fae. You are the only woman in history who can choose what she is." He turned her face to his, his smile sad. "You get to pick what you will spend the rest of your life as."
She wanted so badly to say that she would be a vampire and have Jaia turn her right then and there, to give herself to him body and soul and be enough for him. But she knew she couldn't do that and even if she was a vampire, he would not have her. No matter how badly she wanted to say that, she would never be able to live with herself.
She wanted so badly to try and be normal, but there was no 'normal' for her, she was meant to be Fae and she felt a sinking resolve at her loss and the knowledge that she had to do the right thing.
"We get my magic back," she said gently.
Daemon cheered and Uzo looked massively relived, though he had been working hard to keep it hidden.
"Good choice," Versalis said gently and kissed her cheek.
"Prepare to fight tooth and nail for it, my darling girl," Daemon said as he approached her, and without warning, his lips came down on hers and his fist slammed through her chest.
The room was suddenly moving, voices shouting but she had become lost to the pain and deliciousness of his lips.
She couldn't move as his index finger was an inch from her racing heart, his nail becoming long and black inside her. She felt it when the razor tip touched her and suddenly there was silence around her.
Inside herself, she found she was standing in the cavern she came to know as her soul home. Her soul was looking at her curiously, making little squeaking and humming sounds.
Turning at its alarm, she found Daemon approaching. He looked even more beautiful in that state, his horns long and curling back over his head, his eyes wicked. He was sex given flesh and he was looking right at her, making her quiver.
"There's my precious love," he purred, golden eyes going from her to her soul and back again. "You have to want it, Etani."
She shook her head, fear washing through her and her soul inched back.
"It's this or nothing, you know that. Give in and you can fight at top strength, you can protect those around you, you can create the world that we were always meant to live in."
Tears fell against her cheeks as she tore her eyes from him to her soul and it looked back at her with those large round eyes.
"Will Letari come back to me?" she whispered. Her soul gave a single bob of its head.
Daemon grinned, an inch from her face as she turned back to him. After a moment, she nodded.
He kissed her gently and then moved past her, going to the glowing form that was her soul.
Arms lifting, her soul took him into itself, and a violent slash of red streaked through.
Daemon's mouth was bloody when he stepped back and her soul looked down, touching the streak.
Their eyes met and her soul's smile was bloody. It lunged at her, and she was suddenly thrown back upwards, slamming back into herself with a scream of agony that ripped through the dungeon before she collapsed.
She felt it inside her, the little tendrils of black that sped through her system from her brain downwards, poisoning her and tainting her like a drug.
It burned like acid and she writhed in herself, the pain peaking with a sudden crystal clarity. Her mind opened and she felt herself expanding.
On the inside, she burned and writhed, but on the outside her body had begun to change.