I was hovering.
Literally hovering.
My hands were planted on the bed, one on each side of Saki's face. Not touching her. Not even close. Just… there. Trapping her by accident. Like some badly timed manga panel.
She was lying flat on the bed.
Eyes wide. Face red. Very awake.
I was above her.
Frozen.
"..."
"..."
"…Don't move," she whispered.
"I wasn't planning to," I whispered back.
"If you move," she added, "something terrible will happen."
"I agree."
Our faces were way too close. I could see every detail. Her lashes. Her slightly parted lips. The tiny crease between her brows when she was panicking.
My arms were shaking.
This was not part of any plan.
There was no safety protocol for this.
My brain screamed one single, very important question:
How did we end up like this?
---
Half an hour earlier.
We had officially given up on sleep.
"Games aren't working," Saki said, flopping dramatically onto the bed. "Cards are dangerous. Video games are dangerous. Breathing is dangerous."
I sat on the floor, back against the bed. "Existing is dangerous."
She rolled onto her side, staring at the ceiling. "So what do people normally do when they can't sleep?"
"Talk?" I offered.
She turned her head toward me. "Okay. Topic?"
I thought for a second. "Safe topic. Extremely safe."
"…Clouds?" she suggested.
"Yes," I said quickly. "Clouds are good."
We talked about clouds. Different shapes. Which ones looked like animals. Which ones looked like Kyosuke and therefore should be avoided.
Somehow, talking worked.
Too well.
At some point, I leaned back further, resting my elbows on the bed. She scooted closer, lying on her stomach, chin propped on her hands.
No touching. Still safe.
Then she laughed.
I laughed.
She kicked the blanket accidentally.
I turned to grab it before it fell off the bed.
And that's when physics betrayed us.
The blanket tugged back.
I lost balance.
The mattress dipped.
"Haruto—!"
Too late.
I fell forward.
She yelped and rolled instinctively to avoid me.
We collided.
Softly.
Very softly.
Too softly.
I caught myself at the last second, hands slamming down on the bed on either side of her head.
And froze.
Which brings us back to now.
---
Present.
Neither of us was breathing normally.
"I— I swear," I said quickly, "this was not intentional."
"I know!" she whispered. "I know! Just— just don't—"
"Move," we said together.
We stared at each other.
My arms trembled harder.
"Haruto," she said, voice small, "your arms are shaking."
"I know," I said. "They're protesting."
"…You can move away," she added gently.
I tried.
My brain said yes.
My body said no.
"I'm stuck," I admitted.
"…How?"
"I don't know," I said miserably. "Fear? Gravity? Destiny?"
She snorted despite herself. Then immediately covered her mouth. "This is bad. This is really bad."
"Agreed."
We stayed like that for another second.
Then another.
And somewhere in the hallway outside, a door closed.
Footsteps.
Kyosuke's laugh echoed faintly.
I swallowed.
"…If anyone opens this door," I whispered, "we are dead."
Saki nodded solemnly. "No explanation will save us."
And right as I finally gathered the courage to push myself away—
The doorknob turned.
The doorknob turned.
That single sound erased every thought in my head.
Pure instinct kicked in.
I grabbed the blanket and yanked it up and over us.
Too late to think. Too late to plan.
The blanket dropped.
And suddenly—
We were almost pressed together.
Chest to chest. Too close. Way too close.
Saki vanished completely beneath me, buried under the blanket, one hand clutching my shirt like it was a life raft. I could feel her breathing. Fast. Shallow. Very real.
My brain screamed.
The door opened.
Kyosuke walked in.
"What's with the shouting?" he asked casually. "It's midnight. People are trying to sleep."
I froze.
Did not move.
Did not breathe.
I was painfully aware of everything. Her warmth. Her grip. The fact that my entire body was basically shielding her like a human bunker.
"Uh—" I croaked. "Shouting?"
Kyosuke squinted. "Yeah. I heard noise."
I laughed. A terrible decision. "Haha… noise… must've been the… TV?"
"There's no TV on."
"…The wind?"
"The windows are closed."
"…My soul?" I tried.
He stared at me.
Then his eyes flicked to the bed.
To the suspiciously large blanket lump.
"…Why does your blanket look like it's hiding a secret?"
My heart attempted to escape through my throat.
"Oh that?" I said quickly. "That's just— uh— me."
"You're… very lumpy," he said.
"I eat a lot."
Kyosuke crossed his arms. "Where's Saki?"
Under me.
Panicking.
Probably dying.
"She— uh— went to the bathroom," I blurted. "Yeah. Bathroom. Long one."
Kyosuke raised an eyebrow. "At midnight?"
"She drinks a lot of water," I said. "Hydration is important."
Silence.
He stared.
I stared back.
The blanket twitched.
I nearly passed out.
Kyosuke's lips slowly curved upward.
"…Weird," he said. "But whatever."
He turned around. "Keep it down. And don't do anything stupid."
"I would never," I said instantly.
He snorted and walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Click.
Silence.
Pure. Absolute. Silence.
I stayed exactly where I was.
Did not move.
Did not breathe.
Under the blanket, Saki was frozen too. Her hand was still gripping my shirt. Neither of us dared to shift even a centimeter.
"…He's gone," I whispered.
"…I know," came her muffled voice.
Still, we didn't move.
Seconds passed.
Then more seconds.
My arms were burning. My heart was racing. My face was probably bright red.
"…Haruto," she whispered.
"…Yes?"
"You're still… on me."
"…Yes."
"…Are you planning to move?"
"…Eventually."
Another pause.
"…Just not yet."
"…Okay."
We stayed like that.
Two idiots.
Under one blanket.
One breath away.
Completely aware of everything.
And absolutely incapable of moving.
The blanket trapped everything.
Heat. Breath. Awareness.
Way too much awareness.
Time stretched. Seconds melted into something longer, heavier. My arms were starting to tremble again, locked in place, holding my weight up like some kind of poorly planned endurance challenge.
I could feel how close we were. No space. No escape. Just warmth and the quiet sound of breathing that wasn't mine.
I swallowed.
I still didn't move.
Under the blanket, Saki shifted just a little. Not enough to cause trouble. Just enough to remind me she was there. Very much there.
"…Haruto," she whispered.
"…Yes?" My voice came out strained.
"You're… not moving."
"I know."
"…Are you stuck?"
I hesitated. Then, very honestly, "Yes."
There was a pause.
A long one.
I thought she'd panic. Or tell me to move anyway. Or push me away through sheer willpower.
Instead, her voice came again. Softer.
"…If you can't move…"
"…you can… lean on me."
My brain crashed.
"What?" I whispered.
She swallowed. I could feel it. "I mean— not fully— just— your arms look like they're about to give up."
They were. Completely.
"And if you fall suddenly, that'll be… worse," she added quickly, like she was trying to convince herself too.
I stayed frozen.
"…Are you sure?" I asked.
"…Yes," she said. Then, after a beat, "…Just a little."
Carefully. Slowly. Like defusing a bomb.
I let my weight shift. Just slightly. Enough that my arms weren't screaming anymore.
Her hand tightened on my shirt for half a second.
Neither of us spoke.
The heat doubled.
My heartbeat felt loud enough to be illegal.
"…This is okay," she whispered, more to herself than to me.
"…Yeah," I replied. "…Totally okay."
We stayed like that. Not moving. Not touching more than necessary. Letting the moment exist without doing anything stupid.
Somewhere outside, the ocean kept rolling in.
Inside the room, two people stayed very still, learning—slowly, awkwardly—how close was too close.
And somehow… not breaking anything at all.
The last bit of strength in my arms finally gave up.
Slowly, carefully, I let myself lean on her completely.
She tensed for a heartbeat.
Then relaxed.
Her arms moved first. Hesitant. Slow. Like she was asking permission from the air itself. One arm slid around my back, then the other, pulling me in just enough so I wouldn't fall.
Her face pressed into my neck.
Warm. Soft. Real.
I stopped breathing for a second.
"…Saki," I whispered.
She didn't answer. Just held me tighter, like this was the most natural thing in the world and the scariest thing at the same time.
My brain tried to panic.
Failed.
Instead, something quieter took over.
I lifted my arms and wrapped them around her. Carefully. Like I was afraid she'd disappear if I did it wrong. My hands rested on her back, not moving, just… there.
She exhaled. A long breath. Like she'd been holding it in all this time.
Neither of us spoke.
Under the blanket, everything was warm. Too warm. But neither of us pulled away.
Her grip tightened slightly.
Mine did too.
This wasn't chaos.
This wasn't panic.
This wasn't a stupid mistake.
It was quiet.
It was gentle.
And somehow, without realizing when it happened, the tension melted away. No rules. No protocols. No overthinking.
Just two people holding each other because it felt right.
Her breathing slowed.
Mine followed.
And for the first time that night, in that small room by the sea, we finally stopped fighting the moment and let it be exactly what it was.
The room stayed quiet.
Not the awkward kind this time.
The soft kind. The kind that feels full instead of empty.
Her face was still tucked into my neck, her hair brushing my cheek every time she breathed. I could feel the rise and fall of her back under my hands, slow and steady now.
"…You're warm," she murmured.
I let out a small laugh. "That's the blanket. Definitely the blanket."
"Liar," she said softly, but there was no teasing bite in it. Just comfort.
We stayed like that for a while. No rush. No panic. Just… being.
"…Haruto?" she said after a bit.
"Yeah?"
"I was really scared earlier."
I nodded, even though she couldn't see it. "Me too."
"I thought… since we only just cleared everything up today, I might mess something up. Or make things weird. Or rush you."
"You didn't," I said immediately. "Not even a little."
She shifted slightly so her cheek rested against my collarbone. "I've liked you for a long time, you know."
My chest tightened. In a good way.
"…I think," I replied quietly, "I've been liking you for so long that I didn't even realize it was 'liking' anymore. It was just… you."
She smiled. I could feel it.
"That's a very you answer," she said.
I laughed softly. "Is that good?"
"It is," she said. "It really is."
We talked like that. About small things. About how weird today had been. About the beach, and how the waves sounded louder at night. About how both of us were terrible at being calm when it mattered.
"At least," she said, tracing a small, absent circle on my back, "we're bad at it together."
"Yeah," I said. "That helps."
Another quiet stretch passed.
"…Haruto?"
"Mm?"
"I'm glad it's you."
My arms tightened just a little. Not possessive. Just certain.
"…Me too," I said. "I'm really glad it's you."
Nothing dramatic happened after that.
No sudden movements.
No panic.
No overthinking.
Just two people, holding each other, talking until the words slowly ran out and silence returned again. This time, it felt safe.
And somewhere between the sound of the ocean and her breathing against my neck, I realized—
Even if sleep never came,
this moment was more than enough.
The words slowly faded.
Not because we ran out of things to say.
But because neither of us felt the need to fill the silence anymore.
Her hand rested on my back, fingers barely moving now. My arms were still around her, steady, familiar, like they'd always belonged there. Our breathing matched without us trying.
"…Haruto," she murmured, voice already softer.
"Yeah?"
"…If I fall asleep like this… is that okay?"
I smiled into her hair. "Yeah. It's okay."
She relaxed completely after that. No hesitation. No tension. Just trust.
I felt the exact moment her breathing deepened. The weight against me changed, heavier but comfortable. Real.
I didn't move.
Didn't want to.
The ocean hummed quietly outside, waves rolling in and out like a slow heartbeat. The blanket was warm. The room was dim. Everything felt still, in the best way.
My eyes grew heavy too.
Last thing I remember thinking was how strange it was. We'd spent the whole night panicking about sleeping…
And ended up falling asleep without even trying.
Holding each other.
Safe.