Chapter 299: The Man in "Sage Mode," The Most Steadfast Heart
At exactly 6:00 AM the following morning, the corridors of the forest dormitory began playing light, wake-up music. At this time in winter, the sky was only just beginning to brighten.
Strictly speaking, today was the first official day of the mixed-dorm life. With seven days and six nights left to go, for Hachiman—who was currently having daily "dreams"—this was bound to be a difficult challenge!
According to the rules, the school only provided raw ingredients; all students had to prepare their own breakfast. Among high school boys, the proportion of those skilled in cooking wasn't high, meaning a few had to prepare breakfast for the majority.
The first-years, lacking experience, were inevitably frantic and disorganized. Fortunately, the senpais in the large group stepped in to help. To be precise, it was Horikita Manabu who took the lead in assisting; the others weren't nearly as kind-hearted.
"Horikita-kun, don't you think you're being a bit too indulgent with the first-years?" Kuronosuke Ninomiya voiced his opposition.
Hachiman shot a thoughtful glance at the man. If he remembered correctly, this was Ninomiya Kuronosuke from Class 3-C. He had been a member of the Martial Arts Club but retired shortly after Hachiman joined. According to Club President Mutou, Ninomiya retired because he couldn't achieve good results in competitions and couldn't secure a path to university via a sports recommendation. His academic grades were likely mediocre at best.
To openly contradict Horikita Manabu now... no matter how you looked at it, he was being instructed by someone else. A pawn controlled by Miyabi Nagumo? But this was too obvious. Could it be a deliberate smokescreen?
"Teamwork. The final exam score depends on the performance of the large group," Manabu explained logically, easily dispelling any dissent. "Helping the first-years adapt to life quickly is equally beneficial for us."
"Fine then." Ninomiya's surrender was faster than expected.
"Hikigaya, come over and help fry the eggs."
Manabu saw right through Hachiman, who was dawdling at the sink washing vegetables, pretending to be busy.
"Uh, isn't Horikita-senpai already doing it?" Hachiman asked back.
"I am not good at frying eggs."
"Eh?! For real?"
"Everyone has one or two tasks they aren't good at." Manabu adjusted his glasses with a serious expression.
"Then may I ask, Horikita-senpai, what dishes are you good at making?" Hachiman asked tentatively.
"Boiled eggs... and instant noodles..."
Manabu remained dead serious.
'Is there any difficulty in boiling an egg? And instant noodles don't count as cooking!' Hachiman's mouth twitched; his expression was hard to maintain.
"When we were at home, Suzune was responsible for the cooking."
"What's this? You're a 'useless older brother'!" Hachiman expressed his disdain. In the Hikigaya household, he was the one who cooked for his sister!
"No, my knife skills are decent. I can carve cabbage into the shape of Miku."
"Really? That sounds kind of cute!"
"Unfortunately, Suzune has no requirements for the appearance of ingredients. She would just tear Miku apart and throw her into a pot for a stir-fry."
"Yamero! Suzune, you big idiot!! Also, I didn't expect Horikita-senpai to like Miku. Could it be you're a hidden otaku?"
In Japanese society, the evaluation of "2-D" (anime) fans generally sat at the bottom of the social hierarchy. For an elite student like Horikita Manabu, who sat at the top of social evaluation, to like the 2-D world was quite a "gap moe" contrast.
"No, it's just that my first girlfriend in middle school liked Miku, so I went to learn about it."
'Wow!'
This guy just casually leaked some incredible intel. To have a girlfriend in middle school... Horikita Manabu truly was at the peak of the "normies" (riajuu)!
"What's with that look?" Manabu asked, puzzled. "With your personal charm, you must have been very popular in middle school too, right?"
"Stop joking, Horikita-senpai." Hachiman let out a self-deprecating laugh as painful memories of the past resurfaced. "In middle school, I was voted 'Ranked #1 Boy Girls Most Want to Avoid'."
"Then the girls at your middle school had no taste," Manabu said in a definitive tone.
This gave Hachiman a small amount of comfort.
"Thank you, Horikita-senpai."
"If you want to say thanks, go thank Suzune."
"What does this have to do with Suzune?"
"Think about it yourself."
Breakfast was finished amidst the small talk.
"Thank you very much for your help, senpais!" The first-year students bowed sincerely.
"Just this once. Starting tomorrow, you must wake up early and make breakfast yourselves," Manabu lectured earnestly. "According to Japanese law, high school students have reached the legal age for marriage. Forming a family and starting a career requires learning cooking skills; it is a vital life skill."
Leading by example and teaching through words and actions, he made it impossible for people not to be impressed.
"Yes!" everyone responded in unison.
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The first lesson of the morning was at the dojo for Zazen (seated meditation). The purpose was to train the students' mental concentration.
"Starting today, you will come to the Zazen Hall every morning to practice meditation."
For the new generation born in the 21st century, they had probably only seen this ancient practice in movies or TV. This was their first time experiencing it. Everyone sat down on cushions in the seiza (kneeling) position. It was a novelty at first, but sitting for a long time was very uncomfortable.
"Zazen is the foundation of meditation. You might think just sitting still is all there is to it, but in reality, stillness is much harder than movement. You can try it now."
Mashima-sensei explained while personally demonstrating. "This is called the full lotus position (kekka fuza). After crossing your legs, place both feet on your opposite thighs. This is one of the exam items for the final day, so please learn it seriously!"
At a glance, it looked simple. It was also simple for Hachiman; since he spent his daily life in the Martial Arts Club, his flexibility was excellent.
But for others, things didn't go so smoothly. Most students couldn't manage the posture, and cries of pain could be heard from all around.
"If you can't do it at first, just place one leg. That's called the half-lotus," Mashima-sensei demonstrated again.
'Honestly, why do we have to learn this ancient ascetic posture?' Hachiman couldn't think of any reason other than to torment students.
That guy Koenji, however, seemed unexpectedly interested, treating the awkward meditation posture as a different kind of workout. Meanwhile, even Ryuen was seriously practicing Zazen, looking like he was devoting himself to Buddhism to purify his soul.
'Really now, it's just the "essence of life" —is there any need to be that disgusted by it?'
Hachiman struggled to keep from laughing out loud. Ryuen seemed to sense his mocking gaze; his brows furrowed into a deep "川" shape, his face gradually turning ferocious—a literal image of a "Wrathful Guardian Deity"!
"Don't move!"
Mashima-sensei appeared from somewhere holding a wooden sword (bokken), walking among the students. Perhaps due to his massive build, Albert was not used to meditation; his body was wriggling uncomfortably.
Whack!
"Do you have lice on you?" Mashima-sensei struck down. Albert hissed through his teeth, but he managed not to cry out.
Whack!
"Straighten your back!"
"..."
The second one hit was Yahiko. This guy had no backbone and let out a howl. As a Class A student, his homeroom teacher Mashima-sensei truly showed no favoritism. He treated everyone equally, leaving no room for complaints.
Mashima-sensei swung the wooden sword toward Hachiman's head. He stopped it just a few centimeters from his forehead; the wind from the blade blew back the hair on Hachiman's brow.
Hachiman remained absolutely motionless.
"Hmm~" A flash of approval appeared in Mashima-sensei's eyes.
'To remain unshaken—this boy's inner strength is immense. He is destined for greatness!!'
What he didn't know was that for a man in "Sage Mode", his heart is at its most steadfast!!! No demons or phantoms could hope to shake his will.
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One hour later... the torturous meditation class finally ended. Almost everyone collapsed on the floor, drenched in sweat. Even though they were still the whole time, this was more exhausting than exercise!
Even worse, the second class was Labor Class. Students were assigned to clean the dojo and the dormitory. The key issue was the cleaning tools were primitive: a tattered rag and a bucket—not even a mop.
'Please! It's the 21st century! Even the convenience store in front of my house uses robot vacuums.'
Making students crawl around on the floor with rags served no educational purpose other than to film footage for superiors to claim credit. Fortunately, for the boys, there was strength in numbers. They finished the entire cleaning task in half an hour. It was probably going to be much harder for the girls.
The third class was Speech Class. The lecturer was Chabashira-sensei, wearing her usual professional OL outfit: black stockings, high heels, and holding a pointer. It had to be said that strictly based on appearance, Chabashira Sae was a very attractive woman. However, older single women often came with many bad habits... uh.
While Hachiman was criticizing her in his mind, Chabashira-sensei, who was lecturing, suddenly shot him a fierce glare.
"After entering society, it is very important to express your opinions correctly. For this reason, you must improve your communication skills. This is also one of the exam items," she explained seriously.
For someone who disliked communication, hearing about this kind of exam was a headache. Just thinking about standing on a podium and speaking in front of the entire large group every day made Hachiman's scalp tingle with embarrassment.
Worse yet, the speech topic for the first-years was "Reflecting on High School Life"—what they had learned over the past two semesters and what their life plans were for the future.
Honestly, Hachiman felt he had learned a lot.
Like camouflage, deception, extortion...
Within three days of entering the school, he had swindled three million from Classes A, B, and C. Then he stepped on Class A, bled Class C dry, and even attacked his own teammates in Class D. Ultimately, he was crowned with the title of the "Great Demon King"!
Of all those things, which one could be used in a speech?
As for the second half of the speech—life plans—that was easy to fake. Study hard, get into a good university, get a shiny degree, then find a rich woman to support him... becoming a "Great House Husband." This life plan would definitely be a breath of fresh air for the examiners!
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Having finally survived Speech Class, the morning sessions were over. Lunchtime. It's worth noting that for lunch, each small group sent someone to the cafeteria to fetch food, then returned to the classroom to eat. This cut off any chance of communicating with the girls during the day.
After lunch, they had a one-hour break. The afternoon was Physical Education. To be precise, it was just basic physical training. Unlike at school, where they could freely choose basketball, soccer, or ping-pong, here they could only practice long-distance running.
Thus, the final exam item was obvious: a long-distance relay race!
Physical fitness was one of Hachiman's strengths. Especially when it came to endurance and stamina—he could go eight times... cough cough!
The others in his group were elites from various classes. Except for Koenji Rokusuke; this guy's behavior was completely unpredictable. If you put him in a relay, he might end up chasing wild boars in the mountains mid-run.
Regarding the large group, the third-year group actually had some issues. Aside from Manabu and a few others, there were several "weaklings" who weren't good at sports.
"Huff... huff..."
"I... I really can't run anymore." Shuichi Noda from Class 3-D, who appeared to weigh over 250 pounds, was being killed by the long-distance running and mountain climbing.
"No matter. On the day of the exam, I will arrange for you to run the downhill section; it will be easier," Horikita Manabu said. "If you truly can't run, don't force it. I will take over for you early and finish the remaining distance."
Without complaints or blame, Manabu comforted his teammate while proactively taking on more of the distance. Aside from admiration, there was nothing else to say.
The exhausting PE class finally ended. After a day like this, everyone was truly drained physically and mentally. Starving, they rushed straight for the cafeteria as soon as they came down the mountain.
"Why are you following me?" Hachiman turned around and saw Ryuen Kakeru tailing him.
"Don't be narcissistic. I'm just going to the cafeteria, and it happens to be the same path," Ryuen said disdainfully.
"Oh." Hachiman stopped in his tracks.
"..." Ryuen also stopped behind him.
"You call this 'happening' to be on the same path?"
"Is it not allowed for me to 'happen' to stop?"
"I think you want to try 'mutual destruction' one more time."
"Ugh! Can you stop bringing that up? I clearly deleted that memory!!" Ryuen pounded his head hard with his fist, attempting to eliminate the memory on a physical level.
"You're the one who disgusted me first, and you have the nerve to blame me?" Hachiman rolled his eyes, inwardly cursing that Ryuen deserved it.
"Let's not mention that again!" Ryuen waved his hand in disgust, then changed the subject. "I want to know, who are you going to eat with later? You're not going to find your 'dream mistress,' Ichinose, are you?"
"'Dream mistress'... that's a terrible way to put it!" Hachiman's mouth twitched.
'At least call her a 'dream wife'!'
"It means the same thing anyway." Ryuen impatiently skipped the details.
"I have no such plans," Hachiman said truthfully. Though it was in a dream, meeting in reality was inevitably awkward.
"In that case, how about you go find Shiina?" Ryuen's eyes flickered as he gave a "kind" suggestion.
"What bad idea are you cooking up now?" Hachiman frowned.