Chapter 288 Sakayanagi: You Want to Educate Me in a Dream?
"Phew~"
Watching Ayanokouji Atsuomi leave the school, Hikigaya let out a long sigh. "Finally, I've sent that troublesome old geezer away."
"!!!"
Suddenly, Hikigaya felt a chill run down his spine. He turned his head stiffly and met Sakayanagi Arisu's narrowed, intimidating gaze.
"Putting aside the fact that you pretended to be my boyfriend for a moment...
But you actually had the audacity to use Yahiko Totsuka's name to pair up with me.
If your goal was to infuriate me, you've succeeded!"
'Is that the main point? Isn't the part about pretending to be your boyfriend a bit more serious?'
Hikigaya gave a sheepish smile.
"I just made up an identity on the spot to fool that old man. By the way, are you and Yahiko that close? Why such a big reaction?"
"Do you have a death wish?!"
Sakayanagi Arisu glared at him, gritting her teeth. "What kind of sub-human ape is Yahiko Totsuka? How dare you put him in the same breath as me?"
"He's your classmate, after all. There's no need to go that far, right?" Hikigaya said with a straight face. "And just to correct you, Yahiko is just Yahiko. He doesn't need a surname."
Sakayanagi was so angry she laughed. "You're even stripping the man of his family name, and you have the nerve to say that?"
"Alright, Sakayanagi. If you feel offended, I can apologize." Hikigaya admitted it was his fault.
"Tch~" Sakayanagi sneered coldly. "When you need help, it's 'Arisu-chan,' but now that you're done with me, it's 'Sakayanagi.'"
"Then what do you want?"
"I want to punish you."
"Punish me with what?"
"From now on, you have to call me Arisu-chan~"
"This... isn't that a bit too embarrassing?"
"Being embarrassed is the point. Otherwise, how could it be called a punishment?"
"Arisu-chan."
"..."
Despite being prepared, hearing him call her so intimately made Sakayanagi Arisu's cheeks flush involuntarily. Adhering to the principle that it's better for two people to be awkward than just one, Sakayanagi replied in a sweet, dripping voice:
"Yes~ Hachiman Daibosatsu (Great Bodhisattva Hachiman)."
"!
I'm begging you, don't call me that!"
How does it feel to be addressed as a deity? It was a straight-up public execution!
"Ara~ didn't you ask me to call you 'Lord God' in front of that outsider?" Sakayanagi teased.
"That was just to fool that old geezer!" Hikigaya defended himself.
"Who knows if that's what you actually think deep down?" Sakayanagi smiled subtly. "Alright, the matter is resolved. So, shall we..."
"...Go our separate ways?" Hikigaya finished the sentence for her.
Sakayanagi looked at him with a smile.
"What? Is there something else?" Hikigaya pretended not to understand.
"Nothing. I'll just take the messages you sent me and mass-forward them to the entire school." Sakayanagi said something terrifying in a completely nonchalant tone.
"Terrifying!!
Are you planning to give me a 'social death'?" Hikigaya looked horrified.
"This is how one deals with a heartless man." Sakayanagi looked serious, indicating she wasn't joking.
"Who's heartless? Sigh, fine, I give up." Hikigaya helplessly surrendered. "Come on, let's go on a date!"
The two headed toward the commercial district. Sakayanagi Arisu walked very slowly, leaning on her cane. Hikigaya controlled his pace with great precision, keeping pace with her without making it look like he was intentionally dragging his feet.
Sakayanagi clearly noticed this, and a flash of tenderness crossed her eyes. "Hachiman-kun is quite considerate~"
"Right? When I used to go out with my little sister, I was scolded for walking too fast. I specially developed this 'Sister-Accompanying Pace.'"
"Always thinking of your sister... it seems Hachiman-kun really loves her. Could it be that your fetish is for the 'younger sister' type?"
"Not really."
"Then you like the small and cute type?"
"I like rich, beautiful women."
"Eh~ is this Hachiman-kun's confession to me?"
"Arisu, I think you should learn to be humble."
"I'm already being humble. Otherwise, I'd be throwing a stack of cash in your face right now."
"Hey, hey, that's an insult to my character!"
"Oh? Does someone being 'kept' by a woman still have character?"
"Yes. I intend be a proud freeloader."
"Heh! Where in the world would you find a rich woman like that?"
"What if there is one?"
They chatted as they strolled. Considering the "loli brat's" weak stamina, Hikigaya suggested they get some sweets and rest.
"I want to go to the dessert shop on the opposite street." Sakayanagi pointed across the way and added meaningfully, "The one where Hachiman-kun had a date with four girls on Christmas Day."
"..."
Hikigaya's expression became a bit strained, but he still offered a reasonable explanation: "That was just a coincidence, it doesn't count as a date."
"....."
Sakayanagi nodded, indicating she accepted his explanation. "A formal date is what Hachiman-kun is doing with me right now."
Then, she held out her palm toward him.
Hikigaya hesitated for a moment, but seeing the steps in front of the shop, he decided to give her a hand. He took Sakayanagi Arisu's small hand—it was cool, soft, and delicate, with a texture that made it hard to let go.
"Welcome! Oh..."
The clerk's eyes paused on Hikigaya, an expression of shock involuntarily appearing on their face. That table on Christmas with one guy and four girls had been far too memorable!
In the clerk's eyes, Hikigaya had replaced them with a new woman—and she was loli-sized!
Wow! Not only was he a two-timing (or five-timing) scumbag, but even his "preferences" were borderline illegal! Thinking this, the clerk's gaze toward Hikigaya suddenly became sharp.
Hikigaya, believing a righteous man has nothing to fear, swaggered into the shop and ordered generously.
"I'll have an Assam milk tea and some nut snacks. Arisu, what do you want?" Hikigaya asked.
"I want to eat the 'Couple's Set' that Hachiman-kun ordered for the other girls."
'Are you here just to pick a fight?'
"Then just eat the same thing as me." Hikigaya gave a "read but ignored" response.
"!"
"You disobedient fellow."
In a fit of pique, Sakayanagi Arisu used her foot under the table to step on Hikigaya's foot.
"Are you an elementary schooler? How old are you, still playing this game?" Hikigaya said, exasperated.
"On the contrary, it's precisely because I'm an adult that I enjoy it." Sakayanagi lifted and pressed her foot again, suddenly staring at him with deep meaning. "Wouldn't you agree, Hachiman-kun?"
"No! I don't admit it!" Hikigaya firmly refused to admit to a fetish for being stepped on. Absolutely impossible!
The desserts arrived. The two temporarily stopped bickering and began to taste their respective treats.
"Hachiman-kun, try a piece of my matcha cake."
The classic "feeding play" segment. Sakayanagi Arisu scooped up a piece of matcha cake with a spoon and brought it to Hikigaya's lips.
"Arisu, do you think I'll easily cooperate with your teasing—?!"
Before Hikigaya could finish, she forced the spoon into his mouth.
"Hehe~ how is it?" Sakayanagi wagged the spoon in her hand, her eyes full of mirth. "Is mine... delicious?"
Gulp. Hikigaya chewed a few times and swallowed, giving a serious critique: "Average. I prefer something a bit sweeter... Wait, why are you licking the spoon!!"
"Damn it...
A beautiful girl's saliva... I can't even imagine how sweet it would be..."
An obese senpai at the next table bit his napkin, filled with intense envy and jealousy.
"See~ did you hear that, Hachiman-kun?" Sakayanagi teased wantonly. "Food that has entered a beautiful girl's mouth is a rare delicacy~~"
Hikigaya gave her an annoyed glare. "Right now, I just want to shove your face into that cake!"
"Ara~ you're actually thinking about smearing the cake on my face so you can slowly lick it off?
Hachiman-kun really is a bold pervert!"
Sakayanagi's words were shocking, and as she spoke, she suddenly acted shy.
Hikigaya finally understood the logic that "a shameless person is invincible." He realized that in a normal exchange of words, he could never defeat her.
"You just wait, Arisu! I will definitely educate you properly!" Hikigaya decided to get back at her in his dreams—a classic "spiritual victory" method.
"How does Hachiman-kun plan to educate me? Is it... in a dream?"
He was clearly joking, but at that moment, there was a trace of seriousness in Sakayanagi Arisu's eyes.
"!!!"
Hikigaya was startled.
'How does this girl know about the dream? Could it be she's entering the dreams too? No, no, no, that makes no sense.'
If he really thought about it, the fact that he had such vivid dreams every night was already bizarre!
"Why do you look so flustered?"
"Could it be that Hachiman-kun has the superpower to control dreams?" Sakayanagi asked a seemingly silly question.
"Are you an idiot?" Hikigaya denied it immediately. "If I really had that kind of power, I'd definitely dream about my sister every day!"
"What?!" Sakayanagi's eyes widened, and her expression became stern.
"Hikigaya Hachiman! You aren't thinking of doing something... indecent to your sister, are you?"
"What kind of nonsense are you talking about?"
Hikigaya roared with righteous indignation. "You "loli brat" is there nothing in your head besides perverted thoughts?"
Sakayanagi was scolded so thoroughly she felt completely out of sorts! She bit her lip, staring at him with a look of humiliation.
'Who exactly is the one who turns into a horny beast the moment he enters a dream?'
Unfortunately, she had no evidence. As for whether those hyper-realistic dreams were related to Hikigaya himself, Sakayanagi Arisu still couldn't be sure of the truth.
'I'll test him again the next time I dream of him!'
The date with Sakayanagi Arisu ended on a sour note. Mainly because this "loli brat" truly had no filter and would say the most outrageous things!
While some of Sakayanagi's cryptic words were a bit concerning... the fact that she dared to doubt his feelings for his sister made Hikigaya very angry! He decided to blacklist Sakayanagi's contact and break off relations with her for a while.
.
.
.
In the afternoon.
He received a message from Ryuen Kakeru, inviting him to meet on the rooftop. Hikigaya was in a bad mood and naturally rejected the invitation.
[Not going!]
[You have received a personal point transfer: 100,000]
Hikigaya clicked to receive it and then continued to refuse.
[I've taken the points, but I'm still not going.]
[(60-second voice message)]
Hikigaya was too lazy to click it.
[(60-second voice message)] [(60-second voice message)]
[Stop sending them. I have zero interest in anything you have to say.]
The other side finally went quiet for a while. Ten minutes later, Hikigaya received another message. It was a photo...
"Pfft!"
.
.
.
School rooftop.
"Ahahahahahahaha!!"
"Sorry, I really didn't mean to, I just can't help it!!!" Hikigaya laughed so hard he was slapping his thigh.
"Tch!"
"You bastard, you really don't hold back at all."
There was Ryuen Kakeru, leaning on a crutch, his face covered in bandages. He was wearing sunglasses identical to Albert's, but even they couldn't hide the massive bruise around his eye.
"I say, Ryuen, did you go and challenge the 'Masterpiece' to a duel?
You got beaten into a pig's head!" Hikigaya couldn't stop laughing.
"It wasn't a duel; it was four-on-one," Ryuen Kakeru clarified.
"Wait, what?
Four-on-one and you still got hammered? Is it really that exaggerated?" Hikigaya's smile faded slightly, replaced by a look of surprise.
He had expected Ryuen Kakeru to look for trouble with Ayanokouji Kiyotaka. After all, there was already friction between them. During the final exams, Ayanokouji's strength was fully exposed, which significantly boosted Class D's total score and was the key to defeating Class C.
Ryuen was bound to see Ayanokouji as a thorn in his side. And after Hikigaya's warning, he had gathered four fighters to ambush Ayanokouji.
The result was still being counter-stomped by the opponent!
"That guy... is a monster in the truest sense of the word." Ryuen spat on the ground.
"It's just losing a fight, what's the big deal?" Although Hikigaya was surprised that Ayanokouji's combat prowess exceeded his expectations, he wasn't overly wary. In modern society, people don't rely on physical fists to do the talking.
"No, you don't understand how terrifying that guy is!" Ryuen shook his head.
As someone who fought frequently, Ryuen was no stranger to losing. When he first entered the school, he was no match for Albert, and even against Ishizaki Daichi, it was a toss-up.
The reason he was able to win over Albert and Ishizaki was through his own sheer willpower! If he failed once, he'd try twice, three times, four times—stalking them while they slept, while they were in the bathroom—until their psychological defenses completely crumbled!
This time, Ryuen also tried to use his willpower to crush Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.
"That guy... has no weaknesses, body or soul!" Ryuen's fist had hit the guy, but the latter didn't even blink, as if he couldn't feel pain.
"No, he has a weakness," Hikigaya said with absolute certainty.
"What?" Ryuen looked shocked.
Hikigaya didn't explain. He simply blew a breath onto his fist. Then, he wound up for a punch—a "fatal strike!"
"!!!"
Ryuen turned pale with fright. In a conditioned reflex, he dropped his crutch and used his bandaged, injured hand to desperately protect his "base."
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