Smoke burned my lungs, thick and choking, panic clawing at my throat as instinct screamed louder than reason. I felt something inside me snap—heat surging, power roaring awake, terrifying and wild, answering my fear before I ever understood what it was. The air felt alive, pressing against my skin, searing my senses until everything blurred into red and black and white-hot pain. My heart hammered so hard it felt like it might shatter my ribs from the inside, each beat echoing with terror too big for a child to hold.
"SAM! SAM! SAM! YOU HAVE TO RUN! RUN! DON'T LET THEM SEE!" My mother yelled at me as burning debris fell all around us.
Her voice cut through the chaos, sharp and desperate, but it felt distant—like it was reaching me through water. Flames licked the walls, devouring everything familiar, everything safe. The world was ending in front of my eyes, and my legs wouldn't move.
I tried to speak but a canine whine released in its place. I was terrified. I don't know what was going on. It was hot. So hot.
The heat crawled under my skin, inside my bones. Something was tearing at me from within, stretching and twisting, foreign and overwhelming. I didn't know what I was becoming—only that it hurt, and I was so, so afraid.
"SAM ARE YOU LISTENING! SAMANTHA!!" Debris falling everywhere, heat searing the walls and getting closer.
The ceiling groaned above us. Sparks rained down like fireflies from hell, burning wherever they landed. I could hear other pups screaming somewhere far away, muffled and fading, and the sound made my chest seize.
"CLARA! CLARA! WHERE ARE YOU!?" My father yells from a distance.
His voice was frantic—raw panic stripped of all control. I tried to turn toward it, to run to him, but my body wouldn't obey. I felt frozen, trapped inside myself.
" Baby girl." My mother's voice comes in this time soothing, soft, caressingly. "Baby girl. You have to get up. Oh look at you so beautiful. Like snow.. But you have to get up for me. And run. Don't let them see, and don't let them break you… ahhh" she whines. I see her leg is stuck under a burning beam. She's trapped? No! Mom.
Time slowed. The fire roared around her, but all I could see was her face—smiling through pain, eyes shining with love even as smoke stained her skin. She was hurt because of me. She stayed because of me.
" Go my angel. Go recla…"
The words cut off, swallowed by flame and collapsing wood.
"AHHH" I woke up in a pool of sweat. Heaving, gulping for air, unable to catch my breath. I clutch my chest where it aches the most. My wolf howls in grief. She feels it too.
The room swims into focus too slowly. My sheets are twisted around my legs, damp with sweat, my heart still racing like it's trying to outrun the memory. My throat burns, lungs aching as if I really had been breathing smoke. The scream echoes in my ears long after it's gone.
I hate these dreams. I know they are not dreams, but the past coming to haunt me. Emma shouldn't be able to see my dreams, but these? She does, she was there with me. Living the agony and pain of watching our parents die. The one and only time we ever shifted and they died.
The memory sits heavy in my chest, an open wound that never healed. Emma curls around it, mourning with me, sharing the blame I never meant to give her.
I know it's impossible but I always felt as if the fire was my fault. Their death was my fault. They were there because I was there. Mom crushed under the beam because I was too scared to move. Dammit! Why couldn't I just move!
The guilt gnaws at me, relentless and cruel. If I had run sooner. If I hadn't frozen. If I had been stronger. Smarter. Anything but a terrified child.
'What's done is done' Emma whines with much sorrow.
Her voice trembles—not dismissive, not cold, but aching with the same grief. She carries it too, the weight of that night pressed into her very being.
She feels just as guilty as me. I know that's the reason she doesn't pressure me into shifting.
Because shifting means remembering. Becoming. Facing what we were born as—and what it cost us the first time.
Sigh.
The rest of the morning went as usual for me. Although the pack was buzzing with activity. Preparations for the ball were happening. Catering was arriving and setting up shop. Decorations were all hung up.
Life moves forward whether you're ready or not. Laughter drifts through the halls, the clatter of dishes and footsteps echoing like nothing is wrong. Like the world didn't burn down once already.
I had a couple extra walk-in patients. Mostly from the catering crew, some minor cuts and burns that their wolves could heal in a few hours but they didn't have a few hours so they came to me for a boost.
Their gratitude is brief but sincere, and for a moment, it grounds me—proof that I can still help, still matter in some small way.
There were many females running around doing last minute alterations on their dresses and make up, everyone was busy. Good, so not many people would have their eyes on me tonight. Exactly what I wanted.
To disappear. To slip through unnoticed. To leave without ceremony.
Some guests started arriving early. The ones who had to travel far, they are going to stay for a few days. So is the Wolf King and the Royal Beta if the rumors are to be believed.
The thought makes my stomach tighten. Too many eyes. Too much power gathered in one place.
By the afternoon everything had settled down since everyone was in their homes getting ready for the dinner and ball to start. Can't forget this whole thing was coincidentally done on Seraphina's birthday so the staff is on edge dealing with her extra bitchiness. Oh what a lovely day it would be. I'm dying with the nerve of getting caught let alone of thinking of Seraphina.
Every second feels like borrowed time.
A knock sounds at the door. I walk from the closet to see who it is, although I already know by her scent.. "Girl you aren't even dressed yet!" Cam screeches as she walks right in.
Her energy fills the room instantly, bright and loud and familiar. I cling to it like a lifeline.
I look at her with a confused look. She doesn't expect me to actually go to this thing, right?
"Dont look at me like that. Yes you're coming. This is your last night with me in this pack. We are partying!" She says as she throws her arms in the air and shakes her hips.
I giggle, shaking my head, the sound surprised out of me.
"Cam I can't. I don't feel up to party. Let me just stay here. Then when the time comes I'll slip out." I give her a pleading look.
She looks at me as if I have a dick hanging on my forehead.
Sighing "what?"
"You do know it will look suspicious if you are not there, right?"
Ugh. She's got a point there.
I walk to my bed and throw myself face down with a grunt.
"Oh come on Sam! It's not that bad, one night of fun. You don't even have to drink" she gave a pause " okayyyyyy maybe you should. Buuutttt who knows maybe you will find your fated mate."
She says the word mate in a sing-song voice while shaking her breasts dramatically.
I burst out laughing, full belly, tears-in-my-eyes laughter.
Goddess, I love this girl.
Give it to Cameran to make a sad situation funny and seductive. She grabs my arm and leads me to the closet.
"Come on, let's find something slutty to wear."