"Thank you, my little Santa Claus. Perhaps I should ask Rubeus to get you a reindeer, so you wouldn't be quite so busy on Christmas Eve."
Even as Professor Sprout joked, the pure adoration in her eyes was impossible to hide.
It was obvious she genuinely adored Tom. She practically wanted to spoil the boy rotten.
"I'd be worked to the bone," Tom sighed. "Just thinking about how many people would ask me to deliver their presents on Christmas Eve gives me a headache. You know how it is—so many timid kids are too scared to even say 'Merry Christmas' to their crushes."
Professor Sprout nodded in agreement, crossing her arms. "You're absolutely right, Tom. Those kids don't deserve girlfriends anyway. By the way, little Tom, are you heading home for the holidays?"
Tom shook his head. "I'm going to stay at a friend's house for a few days. After that, I might bring a very adorable kid to come see you. I might need a tiny favor from you then, Professor. Is that alright?"
Professor Sprout paused what she was doing, her curiosity immediately piqued. "A girl?"
"A girl."
Has Tom finally figured it out?! Professor Sprout gave a subtle nod.
Snape is utterly unreliable. If Tom wants to get engaged to Hermione, he absolutely has to come to me. I'm the perfect witness!
'An adorable kid,' oh please. Just say Hermione's name outright! It's not like I don't know her.
Professor Sprout's imagination was already running wild. Plenty of students caught each other's eyes during their school years and locked in early engagements. Had Tom finally reached that stage?
Tom's future children will definitely—
"Professor Sprout?" Tom had to call her name two or three times before she finally snapped out of her daydream.
"Oh! Yes, Tom, go ahead."
"I actually need to ask you for a favor right now... um, I need to go to Hermione's house, but the train has already left and I missed it."
Sprout waved her hand dismissively. "I'll take you there myself. A minor issue like that is nothing."
Just as I thought! Going to Hermione's house to bring her back for an engagement! As the ultimate front-row spectator to their romance, Professor Sprout smiled so widely her crow's feet crinkled.
---
Tom arrived at Hermione's house first.
Naturally. Forget the Hogwarts Express—even if it were the Hogwarts Rocket, it couldn't beat actual Apparition. Professor Sprout gave her wand a simple flick and a swish, bringing Tom right to the doorstep. Who needed a train?
"Goodbye, Tom! I'll be waiting at the school for you and Hermione," Professor Sprout said, waving at him warmly.
What does she mean, 'waiting for me and Hermione'? Tom was a bit confused, but he said his goodbyes and watched the professor vanish.
Standing in front of the Granger household, Tom blew into his cupped hands. Puffs of white mist rose into the chilly air, drifting up before dissipating.
"Who are you?"
Tom turned around to see a chubby kid flanked by two little sidekicks. For a second, Tom thought they looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place them.
"Who are you?" the chubby kid demanded again. His pudgy face scrunched up as he glared suspiciously at Tom. "Why are you loitering in front of Granger's house? Are you a thief?"
A thief? Tom instinctively looked down at his own outfit.
Holy crap! This is a premium wizarding robe! Do you have any idea how many Galleons this thing costs?! 133 Galleons! It's worth more than its weight in gold! Professor Snape gave this to me!
Out of tsundere concern for Tom's safety, Snape had shelled out serious cash to get him this specific robe. The quality was miles above standard issue—silkier, finer, and much more durable. As for whether it would actually protect Tom in a fight... well, no, not really.
But that wasn't the point! Where did this fat Muggle kid come from, not even recognizing such a luxurious robe?!
Suddenly, it clicked. Tom remembered who these kids were.
It was those guys—the three little brats who had provoked him the very first time he had body-swapped into Hermione. They'd grown a bit taller over the last few months, and the chubby kid had definitely gotten chubbier. Clearly a seasoned eater. He should be shipped off to Harry's house so he and Dudley can swap notes on optimal stuffing techniques. As for their actual names, Tom drew a total blank.
"I'm a friend of Hermione's," Tom said calmly. "And you are...?"
The three boys just glared at him with wide, angry eyes, refusing to introduce themselves.
"You're definitely a thief," the chubby kid accused. "What normal person dresses all in black with a giant hood? You must have noticed nobody was home at the Grangers' and decided to make a move."
Excuse me?! I am a Potions Master. Why the hell would I need to steal from their house? Give me one month, and I could buy a luxury flat in the center of London! Do you have any idea who you're talking to?!
"Tom! Oh my god, how did you get here so fast? I looked for you on the train for ages!"
Hermione finally appeared. Her large, bright eyes flicked over to the three boys. "Who are they? Friends of yours?"
The oval-shaped chubby kid pointed at himself frantically. "Me! Granger, it's me! Tonks! Did you forget me?"
"Tonks... who? Never mind." Hermione shook her head dismissively and waved Tom over. "What are you doing standing out there? Hurry up and come here."
The chubby kid felt like an absolute clown. His face burned beet red.
Hermione is bringing a strange guy into her house. Together! Into her house!!! And wait, why were they wearing the same type of clothes? Are they wearing couple's outfits?! Who the hell is this guy?!
---
Meanwhile, Hermione reached into her pockets, and her face suddenly went pale. "Oh no. I forgot my keys."
Tom's lips twitched. He wanted to laugh but held it in. "Easy."
A quick, silent Unlocking Charm hit the front door, and the two of them pushed it open and walked inside.
"Tom, you could honestly be a professional burglar," Hermione remarked. "With how proficient your Alohomora is, there's probably no door you can't open."
Tom threw his hands up. "Now you're just talking nonsense. Let me educate you: a true, professional thief never gets rich by stealing petty little things. They have far higher pursuits."
Hermione gave him a highly suspicious look.
"Have you ever heard of a 'Master Thief of Hearts'?" Tom asked.
She suddenly caught his drift, her eyes widening as she stared at him. "You—you—how can your mind be so filthy?! I absolutely need to tell Professor Snape to keep you under control!"
"Put away your own dirty thoughts." Tom rolled his eyes at her. He expertly navigated her kitchen, pulling a glass from the cabinet and pouring himself some water. "A truly skilled thief specializes in stealing people's hearts. Why do you think rich, beautiful women love keeping pretty toy-boys around? They are the modern-era thieves of hearts."
Hermione seemed to process this. She sucked in a breath as a sudden realization flashed through her mind.
"Wait a second, Tom. Doesn't that make you a Thief of Hearts right now?"
Tom: "?"
"Look at the evidence. Professor Snape, Professor Sprout, Professor Dumbledore, Hagrid, and..." Hermione rattled off a massive list of names. "Haven't you completely stolen all of their hearts?"
Tom: "???"