The university hallway hit him like a physical blow,too vast ,too loud , every footsteps echoing off the tile like a drumbeat matching the desperate thump thump thump of his heart.
The instant his shoe Crossed the threshold away from Aris office,the pain was back in his head : metallic, relentless,a drill twisting through his bone until he had to press his plams against his temple to hold his head together.
Routine, plans, structure that was all he could hear,but his body wasn't listening. It swayed as he walked his graduate assistant office,an office that felt nothing like his ,he fumbled for the door handle,his finger slipping twice before he caught it and pressed his forehead against the cool steel .
Kai Stryker,he reminded himself of who he is now ,not the Delta legion general he had always been,now he is just a pawn in the vahn dynasty's little game, trapped here by the contract and the mission.
His hand drifted to his pocket,fingers closing around the sliver ring,it wasn't just a jewelry,it was a comms device tied to his legion's account,the only thing keeping his soldiers safe and the price? nine months of a forced marriage abd a breeding contract. He could still hear Lord zyrus voice,cold as ice , deprived of any warmth in his ear the day they signed the contract: " I prefer my primarch on his knees"
He has two mission and that is, find the leak he was ordered to investigate, kill zyrus abd secure his son .
The mission was carved into his bone abd his very existence but the pain was too much for him to bear. He pushed open his office door, stumbled to his desk and pulled out the holographic slate Aris gave him . Research all primarchs concordance cycle triggered by the Enigma paradox heat . The words swam before his eyes,it was like Aris is deliberately punishing him and forcing him to remember that very night,to research the moment everything had shattered.
He squinted at the screen, trying to focus , Concordance threshold, heat induction vectors, genetic markers, nothing stuck on his mind. The migraine spiked as he leaned on the desk, breathing hard ,as nausea rolled up his tongue,rage burned in his chest, useless, impotent rage against an enemy that lives in his own body. He slammed his fist on the desk, making the slate jump ," stop this,get your act together" his mind said but his body had already made it choice.
Without thinking,,he closed the slate, stuffed it back in his bag and walked out,he didn't head for the library, didn't turn towards the cafeteria where he was supposed to meet up with people and make friends to blend in with the school . His feet knew the way , and they didn't hesitate, down the west hallway,past the lectures halls , towards the heavy door that marked Aris lab .
He stopped ten feet away,his legs locking, the door was closed, the Dewy rose pheromones was barely there, faint, filtered through the insulation,but the moment it hit his nose, something in his body relaxed. It was like a magnet pulling the pressure from his head , drawing the tightness out of his shoulders. Clarity,it promised, focus and focus meant he could finish the mission which he came for.
He didn't move forward, didn't lift his hand to knock,he just pressed his back against the wall beside the door,his arms crossed over his chest and he stood there , just a minute he told himself,his jaw clinched, just a minute of the scent to clear my head. First minute passed in silence,save for the distant hum of the lab equipment,the pain in his head has soften like a storm moving out to the sea .
He closed his and for the first time in all day,he could think without the drill in his head,he pictured his son face ,round cheeks , gold eyes,the tiny fist that had wrapped around his finger the last time he had snuck to see him and the mission sharpened into focus again.
The second minute,his body leaned forward slightly, almost imperceptibly towards the door,he caught himself and straightened his muscles tensing, don't,you are not a dog begging for scraps. But the scent was now stronger than before or maybe he was just more aware of it , sweet with a hint of something sharp like rain and snow,it felt like a hand on his back, steadying him .
The third minute, fourth, fifth,he had lost track of time but when he finally opened his eyes,the hallway was empty,the clock showed that five minutes had passed,the pain gone , replaced by a quite calm he hadn't felt in weeks,he pushed off the wall and the movement sent a jolt if guilt through him ,hot , sharp and shameful,he was becoming reliant on Aris,on the very man who was part of the institution that caged him .
But the guilt faded as fast as it came, replaced by the military coldness that had kept him alive this long , dignity doesn't keep your son safe ,he told himself, clarity does, he looked back at the door,the source of his only peace, he didn't need to go in ,he just needs to be near it .
He turned abd walked away,his footsteps steadier now ,his mind clear enough to map out the next pharse of his plans,but as he rounded the Conner ,he felt it ,a pull in his chest,a quite whisper from his body that he had ignored too long, tomorrow,it said you will be back again tom.
He didn't argue because he knows it was the truth,he had traded his dignity for three minutes of clarity every single time. But as he reached his office door,he froze, on the floor tucked under the frame,was a small envelope, with no name,no stamp, just his handwriting scrawled on the front in the ink that smells like rain, snow, midnight and Dewey rose. His finger trembled as he reached for it ,his heart hammering against his ribs,he didn't know who had left it but he knew exactly who the pheromones belongs to .
And suddenly,he wasn't sure if he was the one pulling the strings of his mission or if he had been the one playing right into someone else's hand all along